_    ____   ____ ___ ___      _         _     _____          _       
   / \  / ___| / ___|_ _|_ _|    / \   _ __| |_  |  ___|_ _ _ __| |_ ___ 
  / _ \ \___ \| |    | | | |    / _ \ | '__| __| | |_ / _` | '__| __/ __|
 / ___ \ ___) | |___ | | | |   / ___ \| |  | |_  |  _| (_| | |  | |_\__ \
/_/   \_\____/ \____|___|___| /_/   \_\_|   \__| |_|  \__,_|_|   \__|___/

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#1504: HULL CRUSH DEPTH Wed, 2003 Aug 6 topical / ( . |\ . | I__ ___---~~~ | . _i_---~~~~ \_---~~~ _-\| :;.: /~ ____--~ __-~ ;: ___---~~~----~~~~ __--~ : : __---~~~ _ __--~ : _-~~ ___---~~_O __--~ .:(_ ~ ___---~~ I SHOULD HAVE NEVER *.::; ;;~~~------_____-----~~~~ JOINED THE RUSSIAN NAVY **..; * snafu #1592: MARK MITSUBISHI Sun, 2003 Nov 2 topical MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI ____________ MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI .F............T. MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI | .----------. | | |',' ',' , | | _......_ .''''''''''. | `----------' | _+' `+_ .' '. _|.-. _...._ .-.|_ _/.-. _...._ .-.\_ _|.-. _...._ .-.|_ (_)`-' __[]__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __{}__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __/\__ `-'(_) (....__|WATCHU|__....) (....__|SBAITA|__....) (....__|NDSWIT|__....) | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' _.--------._ .--------. .----------. ,'.----------.', .' `. / \ /='------------`=\ _`.-. _...._ .-.'_ _(.-. _...._ .-.)_ .F_______...._______Y. (_)`-' __)(__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __()__ `-'(_) |(_)(_) ______ (_)(_)| (....__|CHYOUR|__....) (....__|EBAYAU|__....) (....__|CTIONS|__....) | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' #1902: FABRICATION Tue, 2004 Sep 7 topical .-------. _|~~ ~~ |_ IF I MAKE UP SOME COMPLETE LIE ABOUT =(_|_______|_)= A REPUBLICAN CROWD BOOING AT PRESIDENT |:::::::::| CLINTON'S HEALTH MAYBE THAT WILL MAKE |:::::::[]| IT TRUE ?!?!?! |o=======.| jgs `"""""""""` WELP TRYING ANYWAY #2261: HURRICANE KATRINA Thu, 2005 Sep 1 blog, hurricane, topical ..... .' '. BLOGGERS RECORD KATRINA DESTRUCTION, . . THEIR LOVE FOR BOBA FETT : : ' ' ,.*====. '. .' .====*., .-`"/c)}}}, :...: ,{{{(c\"`-. _.-'-6> {{{{{'''` `'''}}}}} <9-'-._ t |}}}}}} {{{{{{| y \__.___.'{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}'.___.__/ `[__/}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{\__]` {{{.' `'-._ _.-'` '.}}} }}/ ``` \{{ MORE LIKE WET TUESDAY {{| |}} AM I RIGHT FOLKS }}| |{{ .------{{{\ , , /}}}------. //.--------' ; ; '---------.\\ ((/// _ \ / _ \\\)) (((--' `''-------'`'"'-----'"'`'-------''` '--))) jgs #2263: HURRICANE NAMES Sat, 2005 Sep 3 hurricane, topical ),-. /\ <(a `---',' Q: WHY ARE HURRICANES NAMED AFTER BITCHES ( `-, ._> ) ) _>.___/ A: DUH _/ hjw #2300: NECK AND NECK Mon, 2005 Oct 10 hurricane, topical ,-'-. _., . ( '("'-' '). ( ' (( |. )\/( ) HURRICANE KATRINA: 900 POINTS '( )) | () |" | | ') ( . ,-. ,-.. __.) STOMPY IRAQI FEET: 800 POINTS /) / ' / PjP / /) / / IT'S NECK AND NECK PEOPLE #2314: BIRD FLU Mon, 2005 Oct 24 topical __ ,-/ FRET NOT MY DEAR, I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF ." \ `. / ( CREATING A STOCKPILE OF EMERGENCY PORN ( \\`\\_|_; \ (IN CASE OF THE BIRD FLU) \\ _,' // ) ``) `/ // /// ',/ BIRD FLU REDUCES YOUR ABILITY TO BEAT OFF (// /_,'_,-' BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CHOKE YOURSELF jrei `'-'.l_l_ #2317: BITCHES Thu, 2005 Oct 27 hurricane, topical . '@(@@@@@@@)@. (@@) ` . ' . @@'((@@@@@@@@@@@)@@@@@)@@@@@@@)@ KATRINA ??!?!?!? @@(@@@@@@@@@@))@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)@@` . @.((@@@@@@@)(@@@@@@@@@@@@@@))@\@@@@@@@@@)@@@ . RITA !?!?!?!?? (@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)@@@@@@@@@@@\\@@)@@@@@@@@) (@@@@@@@@)@@@@@@@@@@@@@(@@@@@@@@//@@@@@@@@@) ` WILMA ?!?!?!?!? .@(@@@@)##&&&&&(@@@@@@@@)::_=(@\\@@@@)@@ . .' @@`(@@)###&&&&&!!;;;;;;::-_=@@\\@)@`@. ` @@(@###&&&&!!;;;;;::-=_=@.@\\@@ ' ` @.#####&&&!!;;;::=-_= .@ \\ ####&&&!!;;::=_- ` EVER WONDER WHY THEY NAME ###&&!!;;:-_= HURRICANES AFTER BITCHES ##&&!;::_= ##&&!;:= ##&&!:- #&!;:- #&!;= #&!- #&= jgs #&- YES I KNOW THIS IS A DRAWING OF A TORNADO, FUCK YOU \\#/' ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ #2322: PLUTO Tue, 2005 Nov 1 pluto, topical ::: =, ; PLUTO HAS THREE MOONS !?!?!??!?!?! ;;=;;=== M ,=YVRMBBMMR=, :i= MAJOR BLOW STRUCK TO GROUP OF AVID :iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=; ==;====== AMATEURS WHO WISH TO DEMOTE =tYMMMMMMBBMMM;=Y ,::;==iMMMMMMMMMM PLUTO FROM PLANETARY STATUS tYVBBMMVMMMM =; .,,,::;;=YVBBMMMMMMMMM tYVVYRMMM;=ti ...,,,;::==iMVMMMMMMMMMMMM =tYRBM;;tVB, ...., ,::;====YVBMMMMMMMMMM ,=t =tYVRB, .....,,,,=:;:;;i=VYMMRMMMMMMMM ,===iYVVRY .....,,,;,,,,,:;;==t=RBMMMMMMMMM ... .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM . ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM; .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM MEANWHILE ....... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;=iYBBMM .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB THE REST OF THE ASTRONOMICAL M .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;= COMMUNITY STILL COULDN'T GIVE A M .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,:: SHIT !!!!!!!!!!! `,,,,,,, THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY #2326: ANNE RICE Sat, 2005 Nov 5 hurricane, topical /######\ /##########\ ANNE RICE CRITICIZES KATRINA RESPONSE ?!?!?! / \###/ \ / \#/ \ YOU KNOW I'D HAVE THOUGHT IT'D BE A /\| |/\ DIFFERENT ANNE RICE BUT NOPE IT'S THAT ONE | | \ ==\ /== / | | \| \<|>\ /<|>/ |/ /| HEY I HAVE AN IDEA \__ | - \ - | /#| \#\ | | | /###| LET'S GIVE THIS MICROPHONE TO A \##\ | \| | /#####| MORON AND SEE WHAT THEY SAY \###\ | _______ | /######| \####\ | / \/ \/ \|/#######| |######\| |#########| |########\______/##########| |#########\ /##########/ |##########\ |#########/\ WOW /###########\/########/###\ VW /################\######/########\ SOMETHING MORONIC, NOT WHAT /##################\###/###########\ I EXPECTED /###################\#/##############\ /####################/#################\ /###################/####################\ #2359: LIVE 8 Thu, 2005 Dec 8 topical , , |\ ,__ BOY I SURE HAD A GOOD TIME AT LIVE 8 !!!!! |\ \/ `. \ `-.:. `\ I FEEL MORE INTERCONNECTED WITH NATURE NOW `-.__ `\=====| /=`'/ ^_\ I REALLY CAN'T DECIDE WHAT I HATE MORE: ALL .' /\ .=) THE CORPORATE CONSUMER COMMERCIALISM OR ALL .-' .'| '-(/_| THE CORPORATIONAL COMMERCIAL CONSUMERISM .' __( \ .'` /_.'` `. |` CAN'T WE JUST ALL AGREE THAT HUGS ARE *GOOD* jgs \ | AND *NUCLEAR EXPLOSIONS* ARE BAD !?!?!?!?!? |/ #2368: BOBBY BROWN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL Sat, 2005 Dec 17 bobby brown, bravo, topical _ __ /,) _,-""`'""-./,/ \ "-. . /,/ GREAT BRAVO HAS ANOTHER BOBBY BROWN SPECIAL /"\`.\ |;-\/\/"\ WHERE HE BEATS WHITNEY ON CAMERA (I GUESS) ;. \_ `./\ X/. ; |:.:. \_\/_//; | |:.. ../ |/. | ;::. : "\ /. .; \:::. ..|."|\ ./ `:::.: ` ./,,' ..:::::"-:.__..-"-._ itz `-._____,---' #2372: POOR LEO Wed, 2005 Dec 21 topical, west wing _____ /~/~ ~\ OH GOD LEO'S DEAD WHO WILL BE VICE PRESIDENT NOW | | \ \ \ \ THIS IS GOD'S PUNISHMENT FOR STARRING IN L.A. LAW \ \ \ ALL THOSE YEARS AGO --\ \ .\'' --==\ \ ,,i!!i, SHIT I FORGOT THAT MEANS SANTOS IS TOAST TOO ''"'',,}{,, I GUESS VINICK WILL BE RUNNING UNOPPOSED SHORTLY #2374: PURPLE FINGERS Fri, 2005 Dec 23 iraq, topical .-. .-. |U| | | ELEVEN MILLION PURPLE FINGERS BITCHES | | | | | |-._ | |-._ | | | |-. |_| | |-. /| ` | / )|_|_|_| | | | | | `-^-^-' | | | || | \ / \ ' / | | VK | | | | | | #2401: HURRICANE THREAT Thu, 2006 Jan 19 hurricane, michael moore, topical ,( ,( ,( ,( ,( ,( ,( ,( `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' ` THERE IS NO HURRICANE THREAT THERE IS NO HURRICANE THREAT YES THERE HAVE BEEN HORRIFIC ACTS OF HURRICANES AND YES THERE WILL BE ACTS OF HURRICANES AGAIN BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THERE IS SOME MASSIVE HURRICANE THREAT #2487: APRIL FOOL'S ON WIKIPEDIA Sat, 2006 Apr 15 nerd boy, topical, wikipedia WE'RE CATALOGUING ALL THE INTERNET-RELATED APRIL FOOL'S PRANKS THIS YEAR ON WIKIPEDIA BECAUSE WE'RE TOTALLY NERDS WHO NEED TO DIE _ \ I MOLEST CHILDREN |_| \ __ / | #..# \OO | .)(. ||. ________ || _____ dd _________/ ------------------------------' jg #2492: SOMETHING FOR NOTHING Thu, 2006 Apr 20 immigration, topical _ _.--.____.--.__ ( )=.-":;:\ \"-._ WE DEMAND THE RIGHT TO LIVE IN THIS \\\:;:;:;:; ( ,:. \$$$\ COUNTRY AND NOT PAY TAXES AND GET \\\:;:;:;| )::: )$$$\ FULL CITIZENSHIP RIGHTS FOR FREE \\\:;::;:\ \o(/)o/($$$$$\ \\\:;:;:;\ `-.-' \$$$$$\ YES I'M SAYING THIS WITHOUT STOPPING \\\:;::;:\ ' ` \$$$$$\ A BEAT BECAUSE I THINK IT MAKES SENSE \\\;;:;::,--:_:_:-^$$$$$\ \\\_.-"" `"""$\ I'M GOING TO SHOW MY LOVE FOR YOUR \\ COUNTRY BY WAVING THE MEXICAN FLAG \\ LIKE A HUGE FAT IDIOT FUCKWAD WHO \\ WANTS SOMETHING FOR NOTHING \\ \\ hh+geni+vk \\ +hrr #2493: TOUCHING AND STOPPING Fri, 2006 Apr 21 topical | | / / \ / \__ ____ / / \ / \ | /| / | \ \ / |____________/ / | |_____________///////// < |____________| | |(______________ () \ | / () | () | | \\\\\\\\\ \| | __|__ | | _|___/___ \___ | | __---- ----__\---\_ / __ | \____-------------______/ \ / / / / _/ / \ / / / / $ / / YOU'RE INAPPROPRIATELY TOUCHING / / / AND STOPPING ME | | / \______________// \________/ #2516: HOLIDAY MEAL Sun, 2006 May 14 topical, wishful thinking .--. {\ / q {\ { `\ \ (-(~` { '.{`\ \ \ ) IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF HOLIDAY MEAL {'-{ ' \ .-""'-. \ \ I'D BE A TURDUCKEN {._{'.' \/ '.) \ {_.{. {` | {._{ ' { ;'-=-. | {-.{.' { ';-=-.` / {._.{.; '-=- .' {_.-' `'.__ _,-' jgs |||` .='==, #2519: BRING YOUR ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT TO WORK DAY Wed, 2006 May 17 immigration, topical WHAT ABOUT BRING YOUR ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT TO WORK DAY SO WE CAN DEPORT THEM _____ _.'_____`._ .'.-' 12 `-.`. /,' 11 1 `.\ // 10 / 2 \\ ;; / :: || 9 ----O 3 || :: ;; \\ 8 4 // \`. 7 5 ,'/ '.`-.__6__.-'.' ((-._____.-)) _)) ((_ '--'SSt '--' #2526: WEST WING CANCELLED Wed, 2006 May 24 topical, west wing ____ /` ))) / `6 6 WHY DIDN'T BARTLET LEARN ) , > \___\ _=/ __/ /__ ===.__/`)__ _|\ CRIPPLES CAN'T SERVE IN PUBLIC OFFICE \/ ,/ _)_)_\ /./\ ( \ \ \_\ )_,-'`-./_______ _( \======+________ \ //|__ | , ) \ %' `% |____/ /\ \ % ' %' \ /__/\ \/,\ % -o- % \ )/ \_ ) \ % ' % ,'/ ,' ,\ \ b'ger % % / /\_'__,' '-` % % \/( o ) WHO THE FDR WHAT NOW ``` #2532: THE NASONEX BEE Tue, 2006 May 30 immigration, topical . \'~~~-, \ '-,_ LOOK IT'S THE HISPANIC NASONEX BEE \ /\ `~'~''\ _\ \\ \/~\ HE'S KIND OF FRIGHTENING REALLY \__ \\ \ \ \\. \ GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO MAKE \ \ \ `~~ ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FELONS '\\ \. / L \ \ | \_\ \ o | _.----, | \ ! / '._ \_ __/ _/ \_ ''--'' __/ AM \.__ | ''.__ __.._ __\ '' './ ` #2544: DAVE NAVARRO WE HARDLY KNEW YE Sun, 2006 Jun 11 tattoo, topical . b A $b Vb. '$b V$b. $$b V$$b. '$$b. V$$$$oooooooo. .. 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'$$ $$; $$$o. "$. "$: $$ "*o ". L $$ $P l '. $. .$$ $; ;$.$$P $ "$$$$ P' ALL THOSE TATTOOS CAN'T HIDE THE GAY $$$;: $$P o$P $P I' ' #2559: PARISIANS Mon, 2006 Jun 26 french, topical ___ _______________________ |===|=======================| |||||_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_| GAYS AND LESBIANS MARCHING ON PARIS [___[_________________________] FOR GAY PRIDE ?!?!?!? |---|-------|--_-_--|-------| |[ ]| [:.:] |,'`. `.| [:.:] | FIRST IMMIGRANTS THEN STUDENTS NOW ====|======== ||:|======== THE HOMO BRIGADE !?!?!? ||^|| {$} | ||:| {$} | ||:|| (:..) | ||:| (:.:) | JESUS DON'T YOU PARISIANS HAVE JOBS ||:||=======| ||:|=======| OR SOMETHING ||:||_______| ||:|_______| OH jrei RIGHT #2580: HEZBOLLAH Mon, 2006 Jul 17 topical __ [__] COULD WE GET TOGETHER AND FORM A COMMITTEE | | OF SOME SORT TO FINALLY ONCE AND FOR ALL | | AGREE ON THE PROPER WAY TO SPELL | | "HEZBOLLAH" OR "HIZBOLLAH" OR "HIZBALLAH" OR | | WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS BECAUSE SERIOUSLY | | FOLKS THE LACK OF CONSISTENCY IS ANNOYING ,----. /`-. \ ( ) /-._| \ |`----'| | | \ / |`-... | `. ,' |'` . | | || |`,'- | | ,-||-. |`-...| | jrei ( '' ) | | `----' `-....-' #2585: ATLAS SHRUGGED Sat, 2006 Jul 22 topical + . _ .-. Q: WHO IS JOHN GALT 3==({)_ . ( \ + . _ )`\-| * ) \ . /_`' // |\ .-' `-a:f . B'/`-'M\_| ) / . . * // ( / . B' `-' A: BRAD PITT I GUESS #2588: THE LEBONESE-LESBIAN CONNECTION Tue, 2006 Jul 25 topical ___,, (())))) ()) | I LIKE WRITING IT "LESBIAN" INSTEAD OF ())c 6_6 "LEBONESE" BECAUSE THAT WAY IT MAKES )(;\___/) CURRENT EVENTS MORE INTERESTING .' \,/:\,/`. / : \ | Y : Y | |__ | : | | ___ /_ \/-=:;,_ | | /.-.\ (/ )/-..___/-.|__j__\\ Y _/ /== === =///\== === \ _\_ / `Y== === === === === ==Y \ ( // )-------------------( \\ ) \__/hjw/wba \___/ #2589: TOO HOT REDUX Wed, 2006 Jul 26 topical .----------------. | _ _ MMMMM | | ( " ) | o o | | HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS TOO HOT TO JERK OFF | `.' \ - / | | |/ ---`W'--. | | |\ | .-') | | | .-' ) | BUT IT TURNS OUT I WAS WRONG | .-' ) | | .-' .-' | | ( .-' | | ( .-' | | | (.-' | \| | | '--.M.--- /| | | / - \ .^. | | | o o | ( . ) | VK | WWWWW " " | `----------------' #2592: PLUTO'S NEW MOONS Sat, 2006 Jul 29 pluto, topical ::: =, ; AND SO IT CAME TO PASS ;;=;;=== M THAT PLUTO'S TWO NEWLY ,=YVRMBBMMR=, :i= DISCOVERED MOONS WERE :iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=; ==;====== NAMED NYX AND FAGGOT =tYMMMMMMBBMMM;=Y ,::;==iMMMMMMMMMM ;tYVBBMMVMMMM =; .,,,::;;=YVBBMMMMMMMMM ;tYVVYRMMM;=ti ...,,,;::==iMVMMMMMMMMMMMM ,=tYRBM;;tVB, ...., ,::;====YVBMMMMMMMMMM .. ,=t =tYVRB, .....,,,,=:;:;;i=VYMMRMMMMMMMM ;;.. ,===iYVVRY .....,,,;,,,,,:;;==t=RBMMMMMMMMM :;;:;=;,... .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM ;.,:,..... ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM; ....... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM ;t ... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM ,=.. .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;=iYBBMM .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB :VMM .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;= ,;VBM .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,:: THAT IAU SURE IS WT ,,== `,,,,,,, TAKING LIBERTIES LATELY #2630: STEVE IRWIN WE HARDLY KNEW YE Tue, 2006 Sep 5 topical .-._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .-''-.__.-'00 '-' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '-. CRIKEY I GUESS I CAN'T '.___ ' . .--_'-' '-' '-' _'-' '._ DANGLE MY INFANT SON IN V: V 'vv-' '_ '. .' _..' '.'. FRONT OF THESE THINGS '=.____.=_.--' :_.__.__:_ '. : : ANYMORE (((____.-' '-. / : : snd (((-'\ .' / _____..' .' '-._____.-' #2636: THE PATH TO 9/11 Mon, 2006 Sep 11 topical __..--''\ __..--'' \ __..--'' __..--'' __..--'' __..--'' | \ o __..--''____....----"" \__..--''\ | \ +----------------------------------+ OS +----------------------------------+ WHY IS RICHARD CLARKE OBSESSING ABOUT A STAPLER ?!?!?!? I ALWAYS KNEW THAT GUY WAS A USELESS SHITBAG #2642: POOR PLUTO Sun, 2006 Sep 17 disney, pluto, topical ::: =, ; ;;=;;=== M ,=YVRMBBMMR=, :i= BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH :iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=; ==;====== PLUTO BLAH BLAH BLAH =tYMMMMMMBBMMM;=Y ,::;==iMMMMMMMMMM BLAH BLAH PLANET BLAH ;tYVBBMMVMMMM =; .,,,::;;=YVBBMMMMMMMMM ;tYVVYRMMM;=ti ...,,,;::==iMVMMMMMMMMMMMM ,=tYRBM;;tVB, ...., ,::;====YVBMMMMMMMMMM .. ,=t =tYVRB, .....,,,,=:;:;;i=VYMMRMMMMMMMM ;;.. ,===iYVVRY .....,,,;,,,,,:;;==t=RBMMMMMMMMM :;;:;=;,... .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM ;.,:,..... ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM; ....... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM ;t ... .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM ,=.. .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;=iYBBMM .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB :VMM .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;= ,;VBM .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,:: NOBODY CARES ABOUT PLUTO WT ,,== `,,,,,,, HE WAS A PUNK ANYWAY JUST ASK MICKEY #2649: SOAP Sun, 2006 Sep 24 topical /^\/^\ _|__| O| I'M ONE OF THE IN-CROWD EARLY ADOPTER NERD FAGGOTS \/ /~ \_/ \ SO I DON'T CALL IT "SNAKES ON A PLANE" \____|__________/ \ INSTEAD I CALL IT "SOAP" \_______ \ `\ \ \ BA | | \ / / \ / / \\ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / _----_ \ \ / / _-~ ~-_ | | ( ( _-~ _--_ ~-_ _/ | \ ~-____-~ _-~ ~-_ ~-_-~ / ~-_ _-~ ~-_ _-~ ~--______-~ ~-___-~ WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS JOKE IS OLD NO WAY "SOAP" WILL LIVE FOREVER !!!!11!1!! #2650: MEL GIBSON Mon, 2006 Sep 25 topical .:::. I'M GLAD MEL GIBSON (EVEN IF DRUNK) .:::. /:::::\ FINALLY HAD THE COURAGE TO STAND UP /:':':\ | _ | AND SAY WHAT WE WERE ALL REALLY THINKING | _ | | (_` | | |_) | | ,_) | EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE TO BE POLITICALLY | | | | | CORRECT AND CONDEMN HIM PUBLICLY WE'RE jgs | | /`'---'`\ ALL QUIETLY THANKING HIM ON THE INSIDE /`'---'`\ `'-----'` `'-----'` BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT IN OUR SOCIETY TODAY SUGAR TITS ARE A REAL PROBLEM #2657: BURNT COOKIES Mon, 2006 Oct 2 topical . . + : . : _ A FEMALE ASTRONAUT *WOULD* THINK THAT . ! ' (_) SPACE SMELLS LIKE BURNT ALMOND COOKIES ,|.' - -- ---(-O-`--- -- - ,`|'`. , ! . AFTER ALL SHE'S JUST PREOCCUPIED WITH : : " ALL THE COOKING FOR HER HUSBAND SHE'S . --+-- GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR (BEING IN .: . ! SPACE AWAY FROM THE KITCHEN AND ALL) O!o #2660: UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES PAGE Thu, 2006 Oct 5 topical .__=\__ .__==__, jf' ~~=\, _=/~' `\, ._jZ' `\q, /=~ `\__ j5(/ `\./ V\\, .Z))' _____ | .____, \)/\ j5(K=~~ ~~~~\=_, | _/=~~~~' `~~+K\\, .Z)\/ `~=L | _=/~ t\ZL j5(_/.__/===========\__ ~q |j/ .__============___/\J(N, 4L#XXXL_________________XGm, \P .mXL_________________JXXXW8L ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YKWmmWmmW@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS BACK IN THE DAY WHILE *I* WAS A PAGE FOR THE U.S. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES AND MATT FOLEY MOLESTED *ME* I KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT AND TOOK IT LIKE A MAN NOT LIKE THESE DAMN BLABBERMOUTH KIDS THESE DAYS WITH THEIR COMPLAINING TO AUTHORITY FIGURES #2687: TRICK OR TREAT Wed, 2006 Nov 1 topical ___ .-""-. ___ \ "-. / \ .-" / > -=.\/ \/.=- < > -='/\ /\'=- < /__.-' \ / '-.__\ jgs '-..-' ____ .' / '. / ( .-'\ I CAN'T BEAT OFF WITH ALL THESE KIDS |'.__\/__ | IN COSTUMES KNOCKING ON MY DOOR | /\ '.| \.-' ) / jgs '.__/_.' ____ .' /:::. / (:::-'\ |:\__\/__ | |::::/\:::\| \::' )::/ jgs '.__/::' ................... OR CAN I #2696: BORAT Fri, 2006 Nov 10 topical ___ __..--'' \ ___..--'' \ MAYBE IF I HEAR THE WORD ___..--'' \ "BORAT" MORE IT WILL MAKE __..--'' \ ME NOT HATE IT SO MUCH \ __..--\ \ __..--'' __..--\-._ \ __..--'' __..--'' '-._ \ __..--'' __..--'' \ _..--\__..--'' __..--'' | / \__..--'' __..__ .' | __..--'' ''--..__.' \ __..--'' .:` `:. \ \ _..--'' .:` `:. | `. _.-' `:. \ `-.___.-' .-=-. | / .-=. / .--.\ .-=-. / / / /.-. \ | /####\| / .--.\ | | | | | \ \ \####// | /####\| / \/ / \ | `-.__.` \ \####// |/ / \ \ `--._...--. \| / `. \ \| / | \| | \ `-._ / `. `-.._ / `. _.:` `. __..--'' NOPE DIDN'T WORK \ / LGB | | #2706: WII Mon, 2006 Nov 20 topical, wii o o / \ / \ / \ / ______________ |.------------.| LOOK, I CAN STICK THE WII CONTROLLER UP MY || || ASS AND SWING THE SWORD WITH MY BUTT || || || || WHISH WHISH || || ||____________||_ ISN'T THAT NEAT |OO ....... OO | `-. '------_.-._---' _.' _____|| ||___/_ / _.-|| N ||-._ \ .-._ / -'_.---------._'- \ ,'___i--i___ /_.-'_ NINTENDO _'-._\ ' /_+ o :::_\ |`-i /m\/m\|\|/=,/m\i-'| | || \ O / || akg | |_\_/\_/___\_/'./| | | \/ \ / \/ `-' '-.`-' , V #2707: IN VINO VERITAS Tue, 2006 Nov 21 topical // // // // _______|| ,-''' ||`-. ( || ) |`-..._______,..-'| I WOULD SAY THAT THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED | || | KRAMER ON SEINFELD'S CAREER IS NOW | _______|| | CLEARLY OVER AFTER HIS LITTLE OUTBURST |,-'''_ _ ~ ||`-.| | ~ / `-.\ ,-'\ ~| BUT THE FACT THAT NOBODY CAN REMEMBER |`-...___/___,..-'| HIS REAL NAME AND INSTEAD JUST CALLS | `-./-'_ \/_| | HIM "KRAMER" KIND OF MAKES IT CLEAR | -' ~~ || -.| THAT WAS ALREADY TRUE jrei ( ~ ~ ~~ ) `-..._______,..-' #2741: MERRY CHRISTMAS Mon, 2006 Dec 25 topical \`- //- , / -|\ -'<__//;/`:_'|/ _ |' \=-; |\_,\ [|, _|- _,':'. .'` '| || .| /`/\-,\_\' `||L.`/|| '|'<|// |; || | ||`|>=_,|\:_[,\'|\.-`'/,` _', / '| || || /|.'|\`.-- .-. -,'||.|'_`'|:-/',-' _j_ |' |' '| / \|\, [:-' ,/|'||\ |\:'`'-=:' '---''| '| ` '-\ ||-:\-\''._ '| ']'\ .\`'..-'''"' |;-. |; ' ` -,''|\-:/\-/|.__ /|'.'' /' '| `. '| '/ `\'' ||' [,`'|._ / //;' ; . \ _7_ `/| \| \\`.'|\,`_7_ '. ; '|, || \\: \,'---'._ / `\'` _,--'---'-. ; |;| | ;| ; ' "''- `'. ,' , `.| '|; || | '\\. ' /`-' / ` . \ .| '|' |:. ; \\. `\ ' ./ / ` \ |. '| ||| | ''\\ `. ; //| : \ '. '. |; /'/ ;| | |.;|| |. | |. '| ,' .| '' | ;\'' ` |' | `-..___,_j-|` |:. .//' ; / \ \\ .'` ; _,'---',_ || '' / _-; -` \` . ' / ,-`' `. "|. ' / \`-.__.-:' ':\|., _,' ,`,. .|. `. ' _.-' '|//-.. .=, '-..___..-' / /, ||\ '..--' .\ /':_ ./__,. .///` ''\\ \ ; /|=-' `.:, '/_ ,/ . ;||; ;|.; | ,` | / -:'::__.-:' ||`` '' | | /`; / '\'-/==::_<:-, '`\\. .//'' ; .' _.'| \`.,-..,-]=.- \ `` /''` / ; ,'| \|.`=:,-.. '. ._ ,' ' '`|'`]| \_ '-'' '-._'- _,-'mx ' ' ` |\ `''--'` MY DANGLY THINGS GET REALLY SWOLLEN THIS TIME OF YEAR #2744: GERALD FORD Thu, 2006 Dec 28 topical _ _.-'`-._ _ ;.'________'.; _________n.[____________].n_________ |""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""] |"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| |.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| ,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,, ;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; FORD: NOT QUITE AS TERRIBLE AS CARTER #2746: SADDAM HUSSEIN, R.I.P. Sat, 2006 Dec 30 topical |/| |/| |/| BYE SADDAM |/| |/| |/| |/| /.) |/|/\/ |/|\/ (...) (...) (...) (...) (...) /../\ / ,^./\ / / \/\ / / \/\ ( ( )/) | | |/| | | |/| | | |/| SAY HI TO TOOKIE FOR US ( ( )/) \ \ / / \ `---' / `-----' PhS #2754: THE DAWN OF A NEW AGE Sun, 2007 Jan 7 second life, topical, word _ /\) _ _ / / (/\ WANNA CONDUCT AN INTERVIEW IN SECOND LIFE HUH ????? /\) ( Y) \ \ / / "" (Y ) ( Y) _ "" "" (/\ _ \ \ /\) (Y ) / / FROM THIS DAY FORTH WE SHALL HARKEN BACK TO TODAY "" ( Y) AS THE DAWN OF A NEW AGE OF PENISGRIEFING Krogg "" #2785: ASTRONAUT CHECKLIST Wed, 2007 Feb 7 topical <> .-"""-. ||::::::========== OKAY KIDS HERE'S YOUR /= \ ||::::::========== ASTRONAUT CHECKLIST: |- /~~~\ | ||::::::========== |=( '.' ) | ||================ [X] MAPS \__\_=_/__/ ||================ [X] DIAPERS {_______} ||================ [X] TRENCHOAT /` * `'--._|| [X] WIG /= . [] . { > [X] BB GUN / /|ooo |`'--'|| [X] PEPPER SPRAY ( )\_______/ || [X] STEEL MALLET \``\/ \ || [X] KNIFE `-| == \_| || [X] RUBBER TUBING / | || [X] EXTRA BIG PLASTIC BAGS |= >\ __/ || \ \ |- --| || [ ] A BRAIN IN MY PRETTY \ __| \___/ || LITTLE HEAD jgs _{__} _{__} || ( )( ) || OOPS ^^~ `""" `""" ~^^^~^^~~~^^^~^^^~^^^~ #2787: ONE LESS RAFT Fri, 2007 Feb 9 anna nicole smith, topical ---\=,</ ..,.,.,,.,.,.,,.,._,,,____,,,...,.,.,,.....,....,.,..,,. ,-=--'\\_\/ """"""""""############z_ _`"""########################' ,---'>__,>,_`-. | : | `"""V#######,,_ `- ""##################' --z--;" /_/ `. `. | | `/"""".`|`|| } }|.""""""""|""""" --'//`/' ` \ '. | : : |: || | | : : | : ,_\---_\._ : `.\ |/ : / : | | || : : : //--'> ___ ``-,_ \ \ `"^ : ` || || | : : '=-`',' / `-, __`-. | : : : : : | | || : --- //7;<\ / ,--._ ` | ., : : | ||| || ' : -/;\'/` -='/|( \ \ %#' : `| ||| | : : : // '\ // | ` | | : : `' : : || # | ||| : ` . : | : | ||#|#| | ': : : : ` '#" : : : | ||,|, || : / : |: || ""' : \\|\ X XX///` :| : | : : | | : : / >\\> <\/\< </</==::_ |' ,` ,.|_____|______|`--| : : | ,''{` /"^"/'/\^\'"\ -- """==;:zz,,_;__ ,; : , ,,hjm| |' |`--', ',`--,,_ -_ --. `--. __ ""`"=;;--=--=;;-==|| | ,,--' '' ,` ,',' ,'`--,._ -=- /%%\.___ --- | : |---' ' ' ,' ,`` , .'`.,,` , ';'--,._ `-==' ~~ __ __ _, ~~ | :,-',' '` `` , .`, ,',' ', ` , ,','',`, `'"`--,,_____..__ / | ,,---', ' ' , , ' ', , ` ' ,' `, , , ` '` ',`,`,` ,',' ',, ,`""'--~',' / ANNA NICOLE SMITH DIED HUH ?!?!?! WELL THAT'S ONE PERSON I HAVE TO CROSS OFF MY LIST OF POTENTIAL HUMAN LIFE RAFTS I CAN POTENTIALLY USE WHEN THE EARTH FLOODS OVER COMPLETELY DUE TO GLOBAL WARMING WHICH I'M PRETTY SURE IS GOING TO HAPPEN ANY SECOND ........................ NOW #2797: LACROSSE Mon, 2007 Feb 19 topical '-.____________________________________________________ .:::::::::::::::::::: .:::::::::::::::::::::: .:::::::::::::::::::::::: .:::::::::::::::::::::::::: | |::::::::: .| I WAS RAPED BY |::::::::: .::| THE DUKE LACROSSE |::::::::: .::::| TEAM !!!!! I MEAN |::::::::: .::::::| NO I WASN'T (LIE) |::::::::: .::::::::| __ __ |::::::::: .::::::::::|__( )_______( )__|::::::::: ::::::::::::::::\ \ ,~~~~./ /::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::| ;`'`'`'; |:::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::| ;;*( *;; |:::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::| ;; @ ;; |:::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::\|| ||/::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::( \__/ ):::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::) (::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::/ \:::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::/________\::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::/ /::::\ \::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::/ /::::::\ \:::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::/_/::::::::\_\::::::::::::: :::::::::::::(___)::::::::(___)::::::::smd #2809: AND NOW A PRESENTATION FROM THE JOHN EDWARDS SECOND LIFE HEADQUARTERS Sat, 2007 Mar 3 election 2008, second life, topical VOTE FOR EDWARDS YOU FUCKING CUNTS / ( ) / ( ) ( ) _ ) ( \_ _(_\ \)__ (____\___)) Krogg98 #2810: LIAR, LIAR Sun, 2007 Mar 4 topical, wikipedia CHECK ME OUT NEW YORKER !!!!! I'M A DISTINGUISHED WIKIPEDIA CONTRIBUTOR WITH FOUR ADVANCED DEGREES AND HAVE TONS OF HARD-WORKING STUDENTS AND AM IN MY THIRTIES IN A STABLE GAY RELATIONSHIP AND AM SO RESPECTED IN THE COMMUNITY THAT I GOT HIRED TO WORK FOR WIKIA, THE FOR-PROFIT COUSIN TO WIKIPEDIA !!!!!!! EXCEPT PSYCH !!!!!! NO ACTUALLY I'M A BIG FAT FUCKING LIAR AND I HAVE NO DEGREES, NO STUDENTS, AM IN MY TWENTIES, AND I'M NOT IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP !!!!!!!!!! BUT I STILL AM GAY !!!!!!!!!! AND ALSO STILL EMPLOYED BY WIKIA FOR SOME FUCKING PUZZLING REASON IT'S ALMOST AS IF ....... WIKIPEDIA IS A PIECE OF STEAMING SHIT AND EVERYONE, INCLUDING JIMBO WALES KNOWS IT AND SO WHY BOTHER PRETENDING ANYMORE P.S. GO FUCK YOURSELF RUNNING, LIAR _.---.._ _ _.-' ''-. .' '-,_.-' '''. ( _ o : '._ .-' '-._ \ \- ---] '-.___.-') )..-' (_/ MJP (NOTE: NO ACTUAL MANATEES WERE HARMED IN THE CREATION OF THIS FART) #2818: RIP RICHARD JENI Mon, 2007 Mar 12 topical _ |_t+.__________________......_ /;_ ;________________/ : \ t""o.\__ :---|------------------t-----^-`--' / RICHARD JENI DIES AT 49 \__L___________________\____________\ ""-. o .--. \--'/ l .-t+. \ ( l) ;"" : / l `--" o; Y """""";: .-. :\ :: '-' ;\ AMERICA SAYS, "WHO" ;; : ; :: bug ;| ;'-------'; '"------"" #2827: COMET MCNAUGHT Wed, 2007 Mar 21 topical . | . \ | / `. \ ' / .' I'M A SUNGRAZING COMET `. .-*""*-. .' "*-._ /.*" "*.\ _.-*" : <o> <o> ; ____ MEANING I LIFT UP THE SUN'S """"': .. ; SKIRT TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON _.-*" \ `.__.' / "*-._ DOWN THERE .' `-.__.-' `. bug .' / . \ `. / | \ MAYBE I SHOULD BE CALLED ' | ` PATRICK MCNAUGHTON #2830: PLAMEGATE Sat, 2007 Mar 24 topical _ / } T VALERIE PLAME SHOW US YOUR TITS /'.\ _/ ) (`- ( ,) |/ /| ' ` Elb #2832: BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Mon, 2007 Mar 26 battlestar galactica, topical ,- ,'::| /::::| ,'::::o\ _.. ____........-------,..::?88b ,-' / _.--"""". . . . . . . . ""`-._ ,-' .;' <. - :::::o...... ... . . .. . . . .""--._ ,-'. .;' `-._ ` `":`:`:`::||||:::::::::::::::::.:. . ""--._ ,'| ,-'. .;' """_=-- //'doo.. ````:`:`::::::::::.:.:.:. .`-`._-'. .;' ""--.__ P( \ ` ``:`:``:::: . .;' "\""--.:-. `. .:/ \. / `-._ `.""-----.,-..::(--"".\""`. `:\ `P `-._ \ `-:\ `. `:\ "" " `-._) -Seal BATTLESTAR GALACTICA SEASON 3: NOT JUST JUMPING THE SHARK, BUT SODOMIZING IT, PERFORMING MOUTH TO ANAL, DOUBLE PENETRATION, TWO IN EACH HOLE, THREE IN EACH HOLE, CUTTING IT OPEN AND FUCKING THE WOUND, THEN PUNCHING THE VIEWER IN THE FACE AND FINALLY GOING BACK IN TIME AND DOING IT ALL OVER AGAIN #2842: THREE HUNDRED Thu, 2007 Apr 5 topical __ .' '\._ \ @ /; __ ;::'--':;. _ .' '. :;:: _.'._ \ @ / I JUST SAW 300 ;;.-:/ | \:.'--; :___......._ '. DUDE IT'S TOTALLY AN ALLEGORY ABOUT WHY I HATE BUSH {{__..--""-,_'-.: {{[_ _ _ _ _'--.} SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN ALLEGORY I MEANT SCATTERGORY {[| | || || | |-.]} {[\-'-':-::-:-'/ ]} MAN SCATTERGORIES IS A FUN GAME {[ \ \ _\_/ / ~]} {{[\ .-' '-./]}} WOW I'D REALLY LIKE SOME PIE RIGHT NOW {[.:-"'\ /'"-'.]} {[' __/ \__ :]} HMMM LEMON MERENGUE OR KEY LIME {[::' _) (_ ' :]} {{[: : ] [ : :]} WAIT WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT {[: : ( ) :]}} {{[: : '-' :]} [ : :_.:';. :]} {{[_.' _ _ _ '-._]} {|\\|~|_|_|_|~| ] } jim{{ '""''~~~""-- _' ''""""""""""""'' . | . -:--|--:- ' | ' _|_ | | \ / / \ #2854: THE MORAL OF THE STORY Tue, 2007 Apr 17 topical _ _-' "'-, _-' | d$$b | _-' | $$$$ | _-' | Y$$P | _-'| | | _-' _* | | _-' |_-" __--''\ / _-' __--' __*--' -' __-'' __--*__-"` | _--'' __--*"__-'` |_--" .--=`"__-||" | | |\\ || | .dUU | | \\ // I GUESS THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS | UUUU | _|___// | UUUU | | | UUUU | | | UUUU | | DON'T CHEAT ON ME | UUUU | | | UUUU | | | UUP' | | | ___^-"` ""' [Matzec] #2860: HUNGARIAN NOTATION Mon, 2007 Apr 23 topical __..--"""""""""""""""""::| __..--"" _..--"" | .:______________________.:| | | AFTER FOISTING THE HORRIBLE | __________ ||| | ()| TRAVESTY THAT IS HUNGARIAN | __====::::::::::====__||| |() | NOTATION ON AN UNSUSPECTING ||\_____________________||| | | AND INNOCENT WORLD I THINK ||| ||| | | WE SHOULD HAVE JUST LEFT ||| ||| | | CHARLES SIMONYI IN SPACE ||| ||| | | RATHER THAN BRING HIM BACK |||_____________________||| | | DOWN HERE SO HE CAN DO MORE |||---------------------||| | | ANNOYING THINGS IN THE NAME ||| :-----------------: ||| | | OF COMPUTER SCIENCE ||| | 32x| ||| | | ||| '"""""""""""""""""' ||| | | "HERE CHARLES CHECK IT OUT ||| o = = o [] [] ||| | | IT'S A NICE LITTLE AIRLOCK |||---------------------||| | | STEP IN" |||"""""""""""""""""""""||| | | ||| |==========| ||| | | SORRY I MEAN ||| | o """ ()| ||| | | |||_____________________||| | | "dHERE pnCHARLES vCHECK pIT lOUT ||/_____________________||| | | pIT'S iA aNICE aLITTLE nAIRLOCK || ||| | | vSTEP pIN" |'. .'|| | | | '--__ __--' || | | | """"""""""" || | | | || | | | || | | | |_____| || | | | (____(| || | | | | | || | | | || | | | || || || | | | (( (( || | | | || || || | | | || | | | || | | | .: : : : : : : : . || | ()| | |: : : : : : : : | || | | | |':':':':':':':':| || |() | | | '.'.'.'.'.'.'.'| || | | | |/""""""""""""""";. || | .' | : x '. || | .' | : x: : || | .' | ." x: ". || :' |_:____________________:_|:' grp #2864: VIRGINIA TECH SHOOTING Fri, 2007 Apr 27 gun free zones, topical +-'~`---------------------------------/\-- ||"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \\\\\\ \/~) || \\\\\\ \/_ |~~~~~~~~-________________-_________________\ ~--_ !---------|_________ ------~~~~~(-- )--~~ \ /~~~~\~~\ )--- \_ /( || | | \ () \\ \\____/_ / ()\ \\ `~~~~~~~~~-. \ \\ \ \ <($)> \\ \ \ \\ \ \ \\ \ \ \\ \ \ () \| _\_\__====~~~ JUST THINK THAT IF THE VIRGINIA TECH CAMPUS WERE A GUN-FREE ZONE THIS TRAGEDY WOULD NEVER HAVE ... OOPS I THINK THIS WHOLE INCIDENT CLEARLY ILLUSTRATES THE NEED FOR A COMPREHENSIVE BAN ON THE SALE OF GUNS AND ALL OTHER POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS MATERIAL TO THE WRONG KIND OF PEOPLE BECAUSE AS WE KNOW MOST CRIMES ARE COMMITTED BY PEOPLE OBEYING THE LAW SO CLEARLY THIS WILL BE EFFECTIVE #2912: ROSIE Thu, 2007 Jun 14 topical _.--._ ,' `. / __) __` \ ( (`-`(-') ) CAN WE ALL STOP TALKING ABOUT ROSIE O'DONNELL /) \ _ / ( /' )-._.' . \ ___ STARTING .......................... NOW ( ,--., `.)___(___) )( /-.,--'\ _ \X/` '/ .'/ \ ( Uu")\ / / \ `/,-' ) ( ^ , ,^ )`._.' ( `. Y .' ) \ `. )\.' / ) )`._.'=='._.' ( / ) Ojo/VK/FS/ejm ( ."-. /(` -) / \ ( \`-.__ -'_." ` | \`-.__.--"v" | `.' \ |, , / `._/ : / | ' / /| / / | / #2929: IPHONE Sun, 2007 Jul 1 macintosh, topical __i |---| |[_]| I'M WAITING IN LINE TO PUNCH PEOPLE WHO ARE |:::| WAITING IN LINE TO BE THE FIRST TO BUY AN IPHONE |:::| `\ \ \_=_\ jsm #2931: VBIED Tue, 2007 Jul 3 topical ____ "VEHICLE-BORNE IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICE" ?!?!?! __/___/______ |_ \__' \"_"\ MORE LIKE "VERY BADLY IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICE" PS `())--,())'-,,' COME ON YOU ANIMALS SURELY YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS #2976: DEAR JOSE Fri, 2007 Aug 17 topical ---.----.__..----.----| _|_||___||___||___||___||___||___||_|_ | | | | | -.-..---..---..---..---..---..---..-.- |--.- ---'--.-----'----'--.-| | || || || || || || || | | `| |: (| | | || || || || || || || | |--'- |:. | | _|_||___||___||___||___||___||___||_|_ | ------'----.-.,----.'-| -.-..---..---..---..---..---..---..-.- |-.-- ,/) | | | | || || || || || || || | | |` ----.---8--'--.----'--| | || || || || || || || | | | | 8 |: | _|_||___||___||___||___||___||___||_|_ |-'-- | ,)// |:. | -.-..---..---..---..---..---..---..-.- |:. ----'-`=;'--.-'-.----.| | || || || || || || || | |--.- // /_ _( \ | | || || || || || || || | | /| ---.-//----)/\,'_/----| _|_||___||___||___||___||___||___||_|_ | `| |/| `;=.( | -.-..---..---..---..---..---..---..-.- |--'- ( |`.`. |`,-/ |,-'-||---||---||---||---||---||---||-'-.| -`-'-.`.`-.';'=`.-..--'-.--------.-------------.--.-------.----'--.- | `-./.}{-'\.) | ) | `) | \ | :`-}{-''|| |:. | ,_ | |:. | ---'`'-.--|`-}{-'||)----'-.------'--'.,`--.----'--------.-'-------'- | :`-`'-'/)| | |:. | -.-----'--;`.}{,`.||----,-'--------.------'---.--------,'--.,------- |: ,'/.`..'_(/( |: | | \ |:. ,',' |`--`.(')) |:. | | |: -'--,' <.._|__,. >`,----'----------'--------.,'-------------'----SSt ``----....(',' _,'>' )/ DEAR JOSE PADILLA `' HAVE FUN IN PRISON HOPE YOU LIKE THE RAPE SIGNED, 300 MILLION PEOPLE #2988: LUNAR ECLIPSE Wed, 2007 Aug 29 topical ___---___ .-- --. ./ () .-. \. / o . ( ) \ / . '-' \ OH GOD OH GOD | () . O . | | | | o () | | .--. O | | . | | | \ `.__.' o . / WHO STEPPED ON THE MOON \ / `\ o () /' jgs `--___ ___--' --- #2989: OWEN WILSON Thu, 2007 Aug 30 topical POOR OWEN WILSON !!!!!!!!!111111111 emmmmmm~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\ """"""|_____ ) I'M RICH AND FAMOUS AND WELL-LIKED Elijah """""""""--------""" AND FUNNY AND GET GIRLS !!!! BOO-HOO NOW IF WE CAN ONLY GET BEN AFFLECK TO FOLLOW SUIT WE'RE IN BUSINESS #3009: DON'T TAZ ME Wed, 2007 Sep 19 topical __....__ :._ .-:::::::::" .: '::""::::::::::::::' .-""":::_:::::::::::'/; .:-._.::| ""-::::;'|:;/.--. .:::::::-"'-._o.--.o-': . ':::. _.=::::::" .-": ":..:: . ::::. -:::::::::| .( 'T' -._. ::::::. -:::::::/::' |T--"""""--:| .:::::::::. ... .:::::'.::| ': :' ::''':::::;. ':::. .:::::' :::' :' "::::; :: ::::' ::| .: ::::. .:::::. :::::' ::| :' ':::: :::':::::::::' ... ::| __.' .: ':::. ..:::. ' "::::::::::' :::. "" :' '::: .:::::'' ':''::'' '::| .: .:::..::::.. ::| .: .:::::''':::::. ::| .: ':::::'' ''' ::| .:' ''' :::. .:' .:::| .::' ::::| .::::. ._.::::::. ..:::::::. DON'T TAZ ME, BRO!!! '::::::::::''''::::::::: '':::::' ':::::::. .::::' ::::::' '':::. .::::' .... ':::. .:::' .... ::::::::::::::' '::::::::::::::::. '::::::::::''' '''''':::::::::' #3018: DAWN LAUNCH Fri, 2007 Sep 28 topical | DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH / \ DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH / _ \ DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH |.o '.| DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH |'._.'| DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH | | ,'| | |`. / | | | \ CORK IT GUYS, NO ONE CARES AT THIS POINT |,-'--|--'-.| l42 #3025: BASEBALL TEAM NAMES Fri, 2007 Oct 5 topical _--_ dMb __(._ ) d0P THE LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM 3 < (D) .MP .~ \ /~```M-. THE LONG BEACH ARMADA OF LOS ANGELES OF CALIFORNIA .~ V Mo_ \ OF THE UNITED STATES OF NORTH AMERICA INCLUDING ( (___. {:)-./ BARROW, ALASKA 2 ~._____.(:} / .M\ COMMON SENSE 0 / "" \ | /\ | / / \ \ / / \ \ \__/ \__/ / / | | .^V^. .^V^. +-+ +-+ #3057: THE FIFTH OF NOVEMBER Tue, 2007 Nov 6 election 2008, ron paul, topical ,,,,, \ e e\ C _\/ |\\, I HOPE WE'RE ALL TAKING TIME OUT )\_) \_ / TO CONTRIBUTE TO RON PAUL'S CAMPAIGN !!!!! _/|/_ _// ,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \ / \_/ / / BECAUSE THERE'S NO BETTER FEELING THAN , | \_._,-" FLUSHING YOUR HARD-EARNED MONEY DOWN THE TOILET ( < _' | \ \ ', -',-~.-' _/ ) | |// | ' ' ) | | | | ._., - |.,_ // _\-' )___|__|_ '-._ b'ger /____\__\ #3060: DOG CHAPMAN Fri, 2007 Nov 9 topical _"_ % (< ? ` " BOUNTY HUNTERS AREN'T SUPPOSED __||___ TO FUCKING CRY LIKE LITTLE BITCHES |\___//_\ (' | ') \\ __|\ , / |/ /: / \ :: \| ######o /| ######## \) ######## \ : / \: / -- %%% %% % /:\ |/|, b'ger #3070: BEE MOVIE Mon, 2007 Nov 19 topical `>.___ o-.--.-o ___,<' / `. / ,, \ .' \ { `.; ,__, ;.' } `._ }`.__.'{ _.' `,=."' `".=,' BLAH BLAH FUCKING BEE MOVIE BLAH BLAH .' /`-.____.-'_ `, \_.';`-.______.-':`._/ `+-.______.-'' `-.____.-' / || \ ; ;; ; `-./ \.-' fsc #3074: HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2007 Fri, 2007 Nov 23 topical ____ / \ /______\ ___/___[_]__\___ (_/ _. ._\_) (_/ _\ \_) (_( .___. ) \_ _/ __/_\____/_\__ .' \ / `. | \__/ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | ______________________ |___| | |___| / \ / | / | \ | FUCK YOU FAGGOT I | \__|_____/\____| \/ | DON'T THINK YOU HAVE | |____[__]___|\ \_/\ | THE STONES FOR THIS | | | \/ | \__ __________________/ | | | / ()/ |/ | | |/ / | | |\__/ _.--. | | | \o ` .-.-..-. | | | .' .' .--. | / | | | ; (_.' `| / _____ | | | _____ . . . | /___jro___ |_____|_____| `. `. ; \ / / | | \ `-. `--' .' _[] | | []_ `-. .'. .' / | | \ || || `----""--' `--""----' /|\|\ #3084: LOSER Mon, 2007 Dec 3 islam, topical .._ ; ; ; : :\ ; \\ : :\ ; _.--"""--.___ :; '-.' ,=" "-=,`."-, '. ;=" " ; '-. '-.; _..._ ; '-. : .-. ___ .-. ; \ ; ;.-".-."-.; ; : ; .' '._.' '. ;`,__.-.' ; ; _,_ ; ; `--" ; '..-" "-,.' ; '. `-.___.-' .' __..--" `-.__ __.-' "--..__ .-" /,\""/,\ "-. ; __.. , :",:@:=,"; , ..__ ; '._ __.-," '.'/ \'.' ",-.__ _.' """ ;, " " ,; """ ; . , : ; ' LOSER ' ; ; : .-"". `. ', ." .""-. /,""-.'. '. ; .' .'.-"",\ :: ' ; ; ; __ ; : : ' :; ;; ; ; /' '\ ; ; ;: :'. : ;,' ',: : .'; \ '._/ ; ; \_.' / `-._.' '._.-' fsc #3112: POST HOC ERGO PROPER HOC Mon, 2007 Dec 31 topical __,,,,_ _ __..-;''`--/'/ /.',-`-. TIME TO MASTURBATE (`/' ` | \ \ \\ / / / / .-'/`,_ (TO KEEP THE TIGERS AWAY) /'`\ \ | \ | \| // // / -.,/_,'-, /<7' ; \ \ | ; ||/ /| | \/ |`-/,/-.,_,/') / _.-, `,-\,__| _-| / \ \/|_/ | '-/.;.\' `-` f/ ; / __/ \__ `/ |__/ | `-' | -| =|\_ \ |-' | IT'S ALWAYS WORKED BEFORE I SEE __/ /_..-' ` ),' // NO REASON THIS TREND WON'T fL ((__.-'((___..-'' \__.' CONTINUE INTO THE LGHA LIHYSL OH GOD MY SPLEEN GLALIY SKH AGLZAIE ILKHR LKHSDFLKIS #3131: BOBBY FISCHER Sat, 2008 Jan 19 topical + \\^// ~~ 1 III ,o/ </> [#] (#) </> ,o/ III 1 _[#]__[#]__(#)_[_#_](_#_)_(#)__[#]__[#]_ ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: SEARCHING FOR 2 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 2 BOBBY FISCHER'S _(#)__(#)__(#)__(#)_ _(#)__(#)__(#)_ CORPSE ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: 3::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: 3 ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: 4 ::::: ::::: _ ::::: :::::4 ::::: :::::_(#)_::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: 5::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: 5 ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: 6 ::::: ::::: ::::: :::::6 ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: 7 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 7 _(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)_ + \\^// 8 III ,o/ </> [ ] ( ) </> ,o/ III 8 _[_]__[_]__(_)_[___](___)_(_)__[_]__[_]_ H G F E D C B A #3134: I CAN'T QUIT Tue, 2008 Jan 22 topical I CAN'T QUIT Y-- .-~*~--,. .-. .-~-. ./OOOOOOOOO\.'OOO`9~~-. .`OOOOOO.OOM.OLSONOOOOO@@OOOOOO\ /OOOO@@@OO@@@OO@@@OOO@@@@@@@@OOOO`. |OO@@@WWWW@@@@OOWWW@WWWW@@@@@@@OOOO). .-'OO@@@@WW@@@W@WWWWWWWWOOWW@@@@@OOOOOO} /OOO@@O@@@@W@@@@@OOWWWWWOOWOO@@@OOO@@@OO| lOOO@@@OO@@@WWWWWWW\OWWWO\WWWOOOOOO@@@O.' \OOO@@@OOO@@@@@@OOW\ \WWWW@@@@@@@O'. `,OO@@@OOOOOOOOOOWW\ \WWWW@@@@@@OOO) \,O@@@@@OOOOOOWWWWW\ \WW@@@@@OOOO.' `~c~8~@@@@WWW@@W\ \WOO|\UO-~' (OWWWWWW@/\W\ ___\WO) `~-~'' \ \WW=*' __\ \ \ \ \ __\ KERPOW \ \ \ \ \ \ \\ \\ \ \ HUHHHHHHHHHHHH (EXPIRES) #3136: THOMPSON '08 Thu, 2008 Jan 24 election 2008, law and order, topical ,,,,, \ e e\ C _\/ |\\, )\_) \_ / THOMPSON '08 _/|/_ _// ,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \ / \_/ / / , | \_._,-" ( < _' | \ \ ', -',-~.-' _/ ) | |// | ' ' ) | | | | WHAT ._., - |.,_ // _\-' )___|__|_ '-._ OH b'ger /____\__\ WATERSTON '08 THEN #3148: RIGHTS REVOKED Tue, 2008 Feb 5 election 2008, topical ___________ \ / )_______( |"""""""|_.-._,.---------.,_.-._ | | | | | | ''-. | |_| |_ _| |_..-' |_______| '-' `'---------'` '-' )"""""""( /_________\ IN THE PRIMARIES LET'S VOTE FOR PEOPLE WHO'VE `'-------'` ALREADY CLEARLY DROPPED OUT SHOWING THAT WE'RE .-------------. NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT'S GOING ON AND jgs/_______________\ THUS SHOULD HAVE OUR VOTING RIGHTS REVOKED #3158: NORTHERN ILLINOIS UNIVERSITY SHOOTING Fri, 2008 Feb 15 gun free zones, topical .---. .---. ,';' `.';' `.. f :Bo. SIX SHOT DEAD INCLUDING GUNMAN !!!! ` d88: `\ /d88P' `\ ; /d888P' `. ',d8&8P' : ;d8&7' LET'S HEAR IT FOR GUN FREE ZONES | :8: BECAUSE CLEARLY THEY REALLY WORK | qx #3163: TO MRS. OBAMA Wed, 2008 Feb 20 election 2008, please shut up*, topical __________ __,___/ ",", ___.--" "\'. ____/ l \ ",'-, ------f" // \\\ \ (l\ \ \ \ \", | ||| / u | \ \ \ | ||| _ ) / | | \ ----L_-XXX-. .|' / U < | | | "\ -<_____/// \ 6 ) | | | \___) -" '. -.<" / / | |'.___ | _._." / DEAR MRS. OBAMA | ./ _."." _." PLEASE SHUT UP / |"----" _." SIGNED, MR. OBAMA jjs \ #3164: TO MR. CLINTON Thu, 2008 Feb 21 election 2008, please shut up*, topical __________ __,___/ ",", ___.--" "\'. ____/ l \ ",'-, ------f" // \\\ \ (l\ \ \ \ \", | ||| / u | \ \ \ | ||| _ ) / | | \ ----L_-XXX-. .|' / U < | | | "\ -<_____/// \ 6 ) | | | \___) -" '. -.<" / / | |'.___ | _._." / DEAR MR. CLINTON | ./ _."." _." PLEASE SHUT UP / |"