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#1504: HULL CRUSH DEPTH

Wed, 2003 Aug 6

topical

                                        /                          
                                       ( .                   |\    
             .                         | I__        ___---~~~  |   
            .                   _i_---~~~~  \_---~~~        _-\|   
          :;.:                /~      ____--~           __-~       
          ;:         ___---~~~----~~~~             __--~           
        : :  __---~~~  _                      __--~                
       : _-~~  ___---~~_O                __--~                     
      .:(_            ~          ___---~~       I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
  *.::; ;;~~~------_____-----~~~~           JOINED THE RUSSIAN NAVY
**..;                                                              
  *   snafu                                                        

#1592: MARK MITSUBISHI

Sun, 2003 Nov 2

topical

                     MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI
     ____________    MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI
   .F............T.  MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI MARK MITSUBISHI
   | .----------. |                                                 
   | |',' ',' , | |           _......_             .''''''''''.     
   | `----------' |        _+'        `+_        .'            '.   
  _|.-. _...._ .-.|_     _/.-. _...._ .-.\_     _|.-. _...._ .-.|_  
 (_)`-' __[]__ `-'(_)   (_)`-' __{}__ `-'(_)   (_)`-' __/\__ `-'(_) 
(....__|WATCHU|__....) (....__|SBAITA|__....) (....__|NDSWIT|__....)
 | |    ~~~~~~    | |   | |    ~~~~~~    | |   | |    ~~~~~~    | | 
 `-'              `-'   `-'              `-'   `-'              `-' 
                                                   _.--------._     
      .--------.            .----------.         ,'.----------.',   
    .'          `.         /            \       /='------------`=\  
  _`.-. _...._ .-.'_     _(.-. _...._ .-.)_   .F_______...._______Y.
 (_)`-' __)(__ `-'(_)   (_)`-' __()__ `-'(_)  |(_)(_) ______ (_)(_)|
(....__|CHYOUR|__....) (....__|EBAYAU|__....) (....__|CTIONS|__....)
 | |    ~~~~~~    | |   | |    ~~~~~~    | |   | |    ~~~~~~    | | 
 `-'              `-'   `-'              `-'   `-'              `-' 

#1902: FABRICATION

Tue, 2004 Sep 7

topical

      .-------.                                            
     _|~~ ~~  |_     IF I MAKE UP SOME COMPLETE LIE ABOUT  
   =(_|_______|_)=   A REPUBLICAN CROWD BOOING AT PRESIDENT
     |:::::::::|     CLINTON'S HEALTH MAYBE THAT WILL MAKE 
     |:::::::[]|     IT TRUE ?!?!?!                        
     |o=======.|                                           
jgs  `"""""""""`     WELP TRYING ANYWAY                    

#2261: HURRICANE KATRINA

Thu, 2005 Sep 1

blog, hurricane, topical

                       .....                                           
                    .'       '.    BLOGGERS RECORD KATRINA DESTRUCTION,
                   .           .     THEIR LOVE FOR BOBA FETT          
                   :           :                                       
                   '           '                                       
         ,.*====.   '.       .'   .====*.,                             
        .-`"/c)}}},    :...:    ,{{{(c\"`-.                            
    _.-'-6>   {{{{{'''`     `'''}}}}}   <9-'-._                        
   t         |}}}}}}           {{{{{{|         y                       
    \__.___.'{{{{{{{           }}}}}}}'.___.__/                        
        `[__/}}}}}}}}         {{{{{{{{\__]`                            
         {{{.'     `'-._   _.-'`     '.}}}                             
         }}/            ```            \{{   MORE LIKE WET TUESDAY     
         {{|                           |}}    AM I RIGHT FOLKS         
         }}|                           |{{                             
  .------{{{\    ,               ,    /}}}------.                      
 //.--------'    ;               ;   '---------.\\                     
((///  _          \             /          _  \\\))                    
 (((--' `''-------'`'"'-----'"'`'-------''` '--)))  jgs                

#2263: HURRICANE NAMES

Sat, 2005 Sep 3

hurricane, topical

   ),-.     /\                                           
  <(a  `---','  Q: WHY ARE HURRICANES NAMED AFTER BITCHES
  ( `-, ._> )                                            
   ) _>.___/    A: DUH                                   
       _/                                                
hjw                                                      

#2300: NECK AND NECK

Mon, 2005 Oct 10

hurricane, topical

      ,-'-.     _.,                                      
   . (    '("'-'  ').                                    
( ' ((  |.      )\/( )      HURRICANE KATRINA: 900 POINTS
 '(  )) | () |" |  | ')                                  
    ( . ,-. ,-.. __.)       STOMPY IRAQI FEET: 800 POINTS
      /)  /  ' /                                         
 PjP /   /) / /            IT'S NECK AND NECK PEOPLE     

#2314: BIRD FLU

Mon, 2005 Oct 24

topical

       __      ,-/    FRET NOT MY DEAR, I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF
    ." \ `.   / (     CREATING A STOCKPILE OF EMERGENCY PORN     
   ( \\`\\_|_;   \    (IN CASE OF THE BIRD FLU)                  
    \\ _,' // ) ``)                                              
     `/ // /// ',/    BIRD FLU REDUCES YOUR ABILITY TO BEAT OFF  
     (// /_,'_,-'     BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CHOKE YOURSELF           
jrei  `'-'.l_l_                                                  

#2317: BITCHES

Thu, 2005 Oct 27

hurricane, topical

               . '@(@@@@@@@)@. (@@) `  .   '                         
     .  @@'((@@@@@@@@@@@)@@@@@)@@@@@@@)@           KATRINA ??!?!?!?  
     @@(@@@@@@@@@@))@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)@@` .                           
  @.((@@@@@@@)(@@@@@@@@@@@@@@))@\@@@@@@@@@)@@@  .     RITA !?!?!?!?? 
 (@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)@@@@@@@@@@@\\@@)@@@@@@@@)                       
(@@@@@@@@)@@@@@@@@@@@@@(@@@@@@@@//@@@@@@@@@) `     WILMA ?!?!?!?!?   
 .@(@@@@)##&&&&&(@@@@@@@@)::_=(@\\@@@@)@@ .   .'                     
   @@`(@@)###&&&&&!!;;;;;;::-_=@@\\@)@`@.                            
   `   @@(@###&&&&!!;;;;;::-=_=@.@\\@@     '                         
      `  @.#####&&&!!;;;::=-_= .@  \\                                
            ####&&&!!;;::=_-        `    EVER WONDER WHY THEY NAME   
             ###&&!!;;:-_=               HURRICANES AFTER BITCHES    
              ##&&!;::_=                                             
             ##&&!;:=                                                
            ##&&!:-                                                  
           #&!;:-                                                    
          #&!;=                                                      
          #&!-                                                       
           #&=                                                       
   jgs      #&-   YES I KNOW THIS IS A DRAWING OF A TORNADO, FUCK YOU
            \\#/'                                                    
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^                                

#2322: PLUTO

Tue, 2005 Nov 1

pluto, topical

                    ::: =,    ;    PLUTO HAS THREE MOONS !?!?!??!?!?!    
                ;;=;;===      M                                          
   ,=YVRMBBMMR=,   :i=              MAJOR BLOW STRUCK TO GROUP OF AVID   
 :iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=;  ==;======         AMATEURS WHO WISH TO DEMOTE      
=tYMMMMMMBBMMM;=Y ,::;==iMMMMMMMMMM       PLUTO FROM PLANETARY STATUS    
tYVBBMMVMMMM =; .,,,::;;=YVBBMMMMMMMMM                                   
tYVVYRMMM;=ti ...,,,;::==iMVMMMMMMMMMMMM                                 
=tYRBM;;tVB, ....,  ,::;====YVBMMMMMMMMMM                                
,=t =tYVRB, .....,,,,=:;:;;i=VYMMRMMMMMMMM                               
,===iYVVRY .....,,,;,,,,,:;;==t=RBMMMMMMMMM                              
...       .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM                              
.         ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM;                             
           .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM                              
           .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM   MEANWHILE .......          
             .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;=iYBBMM                                
              .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB   THE REST OF THE ASTRONOMICAL  
M               .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;=    COMMUNITY STILL COULDN'T GIVE A
M                 .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,::    SHIT !!!!!!!!!!!                 
                      `,,,,,,,                                           
                                     THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY        

#2326: ANNE RICE

Sat, 2005 Nov 5

hurricane, topical

                 /######\                                                   
               /##########\    ANNE RICE CRITICIZES KATRINA RESPONSE ?!?!?! 
              /   \###/    \                                                
             /     \#/      \    YOU KNOW I'D HAVE THOUGHT IT'D BE A        
          /\|               |/\   DIFFERENT ANNE RICE BUT NOPE IT'S THAT ONE
          | | \ ==\    /== / | |                                            
           \|  \<|>\  /<|>/  |/     /|   HEY I HAVE AN IDEA                 
    \__     |    -   \  -    |     /#|                                      
     \#\     |        |      |   /###|   LET'S GIVE THIS MICROPHONE TO A    
      \##\   |       \|     |  /#####|   MORON AND SEE WHAT THEY SAY        
       \###\  |   _______  | /######|                                       
        \####\ | / \/ \/ \|/#######|                                        
        |######\|        |#########|                                        
        |########\______/##########|                                        
        |#########\    /##########/                                         
        |##########\  |#########/\       WOW                                
        /###########\/########/###\                                         
VW  /################\######/########\     SOMETHING MORONIC, NOT WHAT      
   /##################\###/###########\     I EXPECTED                      
  /###################\#/##############\                                    
 /####################/#################\                                   
/###################/####################\                                  

#2359: LIVE 8

Thu, 2005 Dec 8

topical

         ,                                                       
    ,   |\ ,__       BOY I SURE HAD A GOOD TIME AT LIVE 8 !!!!!  
    |\   \/   `.                                                 
    \ `-.:.     `\    I FEEL MORE INTERCONNECTED WITH NATURE NOW 
     `-.__ `\=====|                                              
        /=`'/   ^_\   I REALLY CAN'T DECIDE WHAT I HATE MORE: ALL
      .'   /\   .=)   THE CORPORATE CONSUMER COMMERCIALISM OR ALL
   .-'  .'|  '-(/_|   THE CORPORATIONAL COMMERCIAL CONSUMERISM   
 .'  __(  \  .'`                                                 
/_.'`  `.  |`    CAN'T WE JUST ALL AGREE THAT HUGS ARE *GOOD*    
    jgs  \ |     AND *NUCLEAR EXPLOSIONS* ARE BAD !?!?!?!?!?     
          |/                                                     

#2368: BOBBY BROWN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Sat, 2005 Dec 17

bobby brown, bravo, topical

                   _                                              
           __     /,)                                             
      _,-""`'""-./,/                                              
      \ "-.  .  /,/    GREAT BRAVO HAS ANOTHER BOBBY BROWN SPECIAL
    /"\`.\ |;-\/\/"\    WHERE HE BEATS WHITNEY ON CAMERA (I GUESS)
   ;.  \_ `./\ X/.  ;                                             
   |:.:. \_\/_//;   |                                             
   |:..   ../  |/.  |                                             
   ;::. :   "\ /.  .;                                             
    \:::. ..|."|\ ./                                              
     `:::.: ` ./,,'                                               
..:::::"-:.__..-"-._                                              
  itz   `-._____,---'                                             

#2372: POOR LEO

Wed, 2005 Dec 21

topical, west wing

    _____                                                          
  /~/~   ~\    OH GOD LEO'S DEAD WHO WILL BE VICE PRESIDENT NOW    
 | |       \                                                       
 \ \        \     THIS IS GOD'S PUNISHMENT FOR STARRING IN L.A. LAW
  \ \        \     ALL THOSE YEARS AGO                             
 --\ \       .\''                                                  
--==\ \     ,,i!!i,   SHIT I FORGOT THAT MEANS SANTOS IS TOAST TOO 
    ''"'',,}{,,                                                    
                   I GUESS VINICK WILL BE RUNNING UNOPPOSED SHORTLY

#2374: PURPLE FINGERS

Fri, 2005 Dec 23

iraq, topical

  .-.                     .-.                                         
  |U|                     | |    ELEVEN MILLION PURPLE FINGERS BITCHES
  | |                     | |                                         
  | |-._                  | |-._                                      
  | | | |-.               |_| | |-.                                   
 /|     ` |              / )|_|_|_|                                   
| |       |             | | `-^-^-'                                   
|         |             |     ||  |                                   
\         /             \     '   /                                   
 |       |     VK        |       |                                    
 |       |               |       |                                    

#2401: HURRICANE THREAT

Thu, 2006 Jan 19

hurricane, michael moore, topical

                                                 
   ,(   ,(   ,(   ,(   ,(   ,(   ,(   ,(         
`-'  `-'  `-'  `-'  `-'  `-'  `-'  `-'  `        
                                                 
  THERE IS NO HURRICANE THREAT                   
                                                 
  THERE IS NO HURRICANE THREAT                   
                                                 
  YES THERE HAVE BEEN HORRIFIC ACTS OF HURRICANES
   AND YES THERE WILL BE ACTS OF HURRICANES AGAIN
                                                 
  BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THERE IS SOME      
   MASSIVE HURRICANE THREAT                      

#2487: APRIL FOOL'S ON WIKIPEDIA

Sat, 2006 Apr 15

nerd boy, topical, wikipedia

WE'RE CATALOGUING ALL THE INTERNET-RELATED APRIL FOOL'S     
 PRANKS THIS YEAR ON WIKIPEDIA BECAUSE WE'RE TOTALLY NERDS  
  WHO NEED TO DIE                                           
                      _  \                 I MOLEST CHILDREN
                     |_|  \  __          /                  
                      |     #..#     \OO                    
                      |     .)(.      ||.                   
                    ________ || _____ dd _________/         
                    ------------------------------'     jg  

#2492: SOMETHING FOR NOTHING

Thu, 2006 Apr 20

immigration, topical

 _    _.--.____.--.__                                                   
( )=.-":;:\         \"-._          WE DEMAND THE RIGHT TO LIVE IN THIS  
 \\\:;:;:;:;   ( ,:. \$$$\         COUNTRY AND NOT PAY TAXES AND GET    
  \\\:;:;:;|    ):::  )$$$\        FULL CITIZENSHIP RIGHTS FOR FREE     
   \\\:;::;:\ \o(/)o/($$$$$\                                            
    \\\:;:;:;\ `-.-'  \$$$$$\      YES I'M SAYING THIS WITHOUT STOPPING 
     \\\:;::;:\ ' `    \$$$$$\     A BEAT BECAUSE I THINK IT MAKES SENSE
      \\\;;:;::,--:_:_:-^$$$$$\                                         
       \\\_.-""           `"""$\   I'M GOING TO SHOW MY LOVE FOR YOUR   
        \\                         COUNTRY BY WAVING THE MEXICAN FLAG   
         \\                        LIKE A HUGE FAT IDIOT FUCKWAD WHO    
          \\                       WANTS SOMETHING FOR NOTHING          
           \\                                                           
            \\                                                          
hh+geni+vk   \\                                                         
  +hrr                                                                  

#2493: TOUCHING AND STOPPING

Fri, 2006 Apr 21

topical

                      | | / /                                     
                    \         /                                   
                   \__   ____  /                                  
                  /   \ /    \  |                                 
  /|             /     |      \ \                                 
 / |____________/     /        | |_____________/////////          
<  |____________|     |        |(______________       ()          
 \ |           /   () | ()     | |             \\\\\\\\\          
  \|           |    __|__      | |                                
              _|___/___  \___  | |                                
        __----         ----__\---\_                               
       /                        __ |                              
       \____-------------______/  \                               
                /    /  /      / _/                               
               /     \ /      / /                                 
              /       $      / /   YOU'RE INAPPROPRIATELY TOUCHING
             /              / /      AND STOPPING ME              
            |              | /                                    
            \______________//                                     
               \________/                                         

#2516: HOLIDAY MEAL

Sun, 2006 May 14

topical, wishful thinking

                 .--.                                            
 {\             / q {\                                           
 { `\           \ (-(~`                                          
{ '.{`\          \ \ )     IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF HOLIDAY MEAL
{'-{ ' \  .-""'-. \ \               I'D BE A TURDUCKEN           
{._{'.' \/       '.) \                                           
{_.{.   {`            |                                          
{._{ ' {   ;'-=-.     |                                          
 {-.{.' {  ';-=-.`    /                                          
  {._.{.;    '-=-   .'                                           
   {_.-' `'.__  _,-'                                             
      jgs   |||`                                                 
           .='==,                                                

#2519: BRING YOUR ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT TO WORK DAY

Wed, 2006 May 17

immigration, topical

WHAT ABOUT BRING YOUR ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT TO WORK DAY
                                                   
SO WE CAN DEPORT THEM                              
                                                   
        _____                                      
     _.'_____`._                                   
   .'.-'  12 `-.`.                                 
  /,' 11      1 `.\                                
 // 10      /   2 \\                               
;;         /       ::                              
|| 9  ----O      3 ||                              
::                 ;;                              
 \\ 8           4 //                               
  \`. 7       5 ,'/                                
   '.`-.__6__.-'.'                                 
    ((-._____.-))                                  
    _))       ((_                                  
   '--'SSt    '--'                                 

#2526: WEST WING CANCELLED

Wed, 2006 May 24

topical, west wing

            ____                                            
          /`   )))                                          
         /    `6 6    WHY DIDN'T BARTLET LEARN              
         )   ,   >                                          
         \___\ _=/                                          
          __/ /__                                           
   ===.__/`)__ _|\     CRIPPLES CAN'T SERVE IN PUBLIC OFFICE
       \/ ,/ _)_)_\                                         
       /./\    ( \ \                                        
       \_\ )_,-'`-./_______                                 
       _( \======+________ \                                
        //|__    |      , ) \                               
        %'    `% |____/  /\  \                              
       %   '    %' \ /__/\ \/,\                             
       %  -o-   %   \ )/  \_ ) \                            
       %   '    %   ,'/  ,'  ,\ \                           
b'ger   %      %   / /\_'__,'  '-`                          
          %  %     \/( o )           WHO THE FDR WHAT NOW   
                      ```                                   

#2532: THE NASONEX BEE

Tue, 2006 May 30

immigration, topical

.                                                         
\'~~~-,                                                   
 \    '-,_             LOOK IT'S THE HISPANIC NASONEX BEE 
  \ /\    `~'~''\                                         
  _\ \\          \/~\      HE'S KIND OF FRIGHTENING REALLY
  \__ \\             \                                    
     \ \\.             \      GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO MAKE  
      \ \ \             `~~     ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FELONS 
       '\\ \.             /                               
        L \  \            |                               
         \_\  \      o    |             _.----,           
               |           \           !     /            
              '._           \_      __/    _/             
                 \_           ''--''    __/               
               AM  \.__                |                  
                       ''.__  __.._   __\                 
                            ''     './  `                 

#2544: DAVE NAVARRO WE HARDLY KNEW YE

Sun, 2006 Jun 11

tattoo, topical

              .                                                        
           b   A                                                       
           $b  Vb.                                                     
           '$b  V$b.                                                   
            $$b  V$$b.                                                 
            '$$b. V$$$$oooooooo.         ..                            
             '$$P* V$$$$$""**$$$b.    .o$$P                            
              " .oooZ$$$$b..o$$$$$$$$$$$$C                             
              .$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$b.                           
              $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$                           
        .o$$$o$$$$$$$$P""*$$$$$$$$$P"""*$$$P                           
       .$$$**$$$$P"q$C    "$$$b        .$$P                            
       $$P   "$$$b  "$ . .$$$$$b.      *"                              
       $$      $$$.     "***$$$$$$$b. A.                               
       V$b   . Z$$b.  .       "*$$$$$b$$:                              
        V$$.  "*$$$b.  b.         "$$$$$                               
         "$$b     "*$.  *b.         "$$$b                              
           "$$b.     "L  "$$o.        "*"     .ooo..                   
             "*$$o.        "*$$o.          .o$$$$$$$$b.                
                 "*$$b.       "$$b.       .$$$$$*"   ""*.              
                    "*$$o.      "$$$o.    $$$$$'                       
                       "$$o       "$$$b.  "$$$$   ...oo..              
                         "$b.      "$$$$b. "$$$$$$$P*"""""             
                        . "$$       "$$$$b  "$$$$P"                    
                         L."$.      .$$$$$.  $$$$                      
          ..              $$$;      o$$$$$$  $$$$                      
       . $.l              "$$'    .$$$$$$$P  $$$P                      
     .I .$b b '.           "P   .P*""*$$$$;  $$$                       
   .$P  $$o ". ".  .        " ."      $$$$   $$;                       
  .$$;  $$$. "A "$. ".       '       o$$$P  .$P                        
 .$$$b  $$$$. *$. "$$$$o.          .$$$$P   $"                         
.$$$$$  $$$$$. "$$o."**$$$$o.'  .o$$$$P"    P                          
$$P"$$b $$$$$$o  "*$$$$boooooc$$$$$$$P"   .                            
$$  $$$."$$$"*$$.   "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$C  .o"                            
I"  $P"$."$$b. "*$.    "**$$$$$*"*$$$$$$$"                             
'   $  "$."$$$.   ""'              "*$$*                               
    $.   "."$$$$o        mls                                           
    "I       "$$$$b. .                                                 
                "$$$b."$o.                                             
                  "*$$."$$$o.       DAVE NAVARRO SUCKS DICK HUH ?!?!?!?
                    "$$o $$$$b.                                        
                     '$$o'$$$$$b.                                      
                      '$$.'$$$**$o                                     
                       '$$.$$$. '$$                                    
                        $$; $$$o. "$.                                  
                        "$: $$ "*o  ".                                 
                     L   $$ $P    l  '.                                
                     $. .$$ $;                                         
                     ;$.$$P $                                          
                     "$$$$ P'    ALL THOSE TATTOOS CAN'T HIDE THE GAY  
                      $$$;:                                            
                      $$P                                              
                     o$P                                               
                     $P                                                
                     I'                                                
                     '                                                 

#2559: PARISIANS

Mon, 2006 Jun 26

french, topical

   ___ _______________________                                       
  |===|=======================|                                      
  |||||_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|   GAYS AND LESBIANS MARCHING ON PARIS
 [___[_________________________]  FOR GAY PRIDE ?!?!?!?              
  |---|-------|--_-_--|-------|                                      
  |[ ]| [:.:] |,'`. `.| [:.:] |   FIRST IMMIGRANTS THEN STUDENTS NOW 
  ====|========    ||:|========   THE HOMO BRIGADE !?!?!?            
  ||^||  {$}  |    ||:|  {$}  |                                      
  ||:|| (:..) |    ||:| (:.:) |   JESUS DON'T YOU PARISIANS HAVE JOBS
  ||:||=======|    ||:|=======|   OR SOMETHING                       
  ||:||_______|    ||:|_______|                                      
                                  OH                                 
jrei                                                                 
                                  RIGHT                              

#2580: HEZBOLLAH

Mon, 2006 Jul 17

topical

                     __                                                
                    [__]   COULD WE GET TOGETHER AND FORM A COMMITTEE  
                    |  |   OF SOME SORT TO FINALLY ONCE AND FOR ALL    
                    |  |   AGREE ON THE PROPER WAY TO SPELL            
                    |  |   "HEZBOLLAH" OR "HIZBOLLAH" OR "HIZBALLAH" OR
                    |  |   WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS BECAUSE SERIOUSLY   
                    |  |   FOLKS THE LACK OF CONSISTENCY IS ANNOYING   
       ,----.      /`-. \                                              
      (      )    /-._|  \                                             
      |`----'|   |        |                                            
      \      /   |`-...   |                                            
       `.  ,'    |'` . |  |                                            
         ||      |`,'- |  |                                            
       ,-||-.    |`-...|  |                                            
jrei  (  ''  )   |        |                                            
       `----'     `-....-'                                             

#2585: ATLAS SHRUGGED

Sat, 2006 Jul 22

topical

           +  .        _            .-.    Q: WHO IS JOHN GALT   
                   3==({)_    .    (   \                         
  +  .             _  )`\-|      *  )   \                        
          .       /_`' // |\     .-'     `-a:f                   
.                B'/`-'M\_| )   /       .                        
        . *       //       (   /      .                          
                 B'         `-'              A: BRAD PITT I GUESS

#2588: THE LEBONESE-LESBIAN CONNECTION

Tue, 2006 Jul 25

topical

           ___,,                                          
          (()))))                                         
         ())    |   I LIKE WRITING IT "LESBIAN" INSTEAD OF
        ())c  6_6    "LEBONESE" BECAUSE THAT WAY IT MAKES 
        )(;\___/)     CURRENT EVENTS MORE INTERESTING     
      .'  \,/:\,/`.                                       
     /       :     \                                      
    |   Y    :   Y  |                                     
    |__ |    :   |  |   ___                               
    /_ \/-=:;,_  |  |  /.-.\                              
   (/ )/-..___/-.|__j__\\  Y                              
  _/ /== === =///\== === \ _\_                            
 / `Y== === === === === ==Y   \                           
( // )-------------------(  \\ )                          
 \__/hjw/wba              \___/                           

#2589: TOO HOT REDUX

Wed, 2006 Jul 26

topical

.----------------.                                              
|  _ _   MMMMM   |                                              
| ( " ) | o o |  |     HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS TOO HOT TO JERK OFF
|  `.'   \ - /   |                                              
|  |/  ---`W'--. |                                              
|  |\ |     .-') |                                              
|     |  .-'   ) |     BUT IT TURNS OUT I WAS WRONG             
|     .-'      ) |                                              
|  .-'      .-'  |                                              
| (      .-'     |                                              
| (   .-'  |     |                                              
| (.-'     | \|  |                                              
| '--.M.---  /|  |                                              
|   / - \   .^.  |                                              
|  | o o | ( . ) |    VK                                        
|   WWWWW   " "  |                                              
`----------------'                                              

#2592: PLUTO'S NEW MOONS

Sat, 2006 Jul 29

pluto, topical

                               ::: =,    ;   AND SO IT CAME TO PASS     
                           ;;=;;===      M    THAT PLUTO'S TWO NEWLY    
              ,=YVRMBBMMR=,   :i=              DISCOVERED MOONS WERE    
            :iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=;  ==;======      NAMED NYX AND FAGGOT    
           =tYMMMMMMBBMMM;=Y ,::;==iMMMMMMMMMM                          
          ;tYVBBMMVMMMM =; .,,,::;;=YVBBMMMMMMMMM                       
          ;tYVVYRMMM;=ti ...,,,;::==iMVMMMMMMMMMMMM                     
          ,=tYRBM;;tVB, ....,  ,::;====YVBMMMMMMMMMM                    
      ..   ,=t =tYVRB, .....,,,,=:;:;;i=VYMMRMMMMMMMM                   
     ;;..  ,===iYVVRY .....,,,;,,,,,:;;==t=RBMMMMMMMMM                  
   :;;:;=;,...       .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM                  
  ;.,:,.....         ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM;                 
  .......             .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM                  
;t ...                .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM                  
,=..                    .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;=iYBBMM                    
                         .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB                     
        :VMM               .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;=                       
       ,;VBM                 .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,::     THAT IAU SURE IS    
   WT  ,,==                      `,,,,,,,        TAKING LIBERTIES LATELY

#2630: STEVE IRWIN WE HARDLY KNEW YE

Tue, 2006 Sep 5

topical

           .-._   _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _                                
.-''-.__.-'00  '-' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '-.     CRIKEY I GUESS I CAN'T  
'.___ '    .   .--_'-' '-' '-' _'-' '._   DANGLE MY INFANT SON IN
 V: V 'vv-'   '_   '.       .'  _..' '.'.  FRONT OF THESE THINGS 
   '=.____.=_.--'   :_.__.__:_   '.   : :   ANYMORE              
           (((____.-'        '-.  /   : :                        
 snd                         (((-'\ .' /                         
                           _____..'  .'                          
                          '-._____.-'                            

#2636: THE PATH TO 9/11

Mon, 2006 Sep 11

topical

                             __..--''\                 
                     __..--''         \                
             __..--''          __..--''                
     __..--''          __..--''       |                
     \ o        __..--''____....----""                 
      \__..--''\                                       
      |         \                                      
     +----------------------------------+              
  OS +----------------------------------+              
                                                       
WHY IS RICHARD CLARKE OBSESSING ABOUT A STAPLER ?!?!?!?
                                                       
  I ALWAYS KNEW THAT GUY WAS A USELESS SHITBAG         

#2642: POOR PLUTO

Sun, 2006 Sep 17

disney, pluto, topical

                               ::: =,    ;                                  
                           ;;=;;===      M                                  
              ,=YVRMBBMMR=,   :i=               BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH         
            :iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=;  ==;======         PLUTO BLAH BLAH BLAH     
           =tYMMMMMMBBMMM;=Y ,::;==iMMMMMMMMMM       BLAH BLAH PLANET BLAH  
          ;tYVBBMMVMMMM =; .,,,::;;=YVBBMMMMMMMMM                           
          ;tYVVYRMMM;=ti ...,,,;::==iMVMMMMMMMMMMMM                         
          ,=tYRBM;;tVB, ....,  ,::;====YVBMMMMMMMMMM                        
      ..   ,=t =tYVRB, .....,,,,=:;:;;i=VYMMRMMMMMMMM                       
     ;;..  ,===iYVVRY .....,,,;,,,,,:;;==t=RBMMMMMMMMM                      
   :;;:;=;,...       .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM                      
  ;.,:,.....         ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM;                     
  .......             .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM                      
;t ...                .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM                      
,=..                    .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;=iYBBMM                        
                         .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB                         
        :VMM               .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;=                           
       ,;VBM                 .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,::     NOBODY CARES ABOUT PLUTO
   WT  ,,==                      `,,,,,,,         HE WAS A PUNK ANYWAY      
                                               JUST ASK MICKEY              

#2649: SOAP

Sun, 2006 Sep 24

topical

           /^\/^\                                                       
         _|__|  O|    I'M ONE OF THE IN-CROWD EARLY ADOPTER NERD FAGGOTS
\/     /~     \_/ \     SO I DON'T CALL IT "SNAKES ON A PLANE"          
 \____|__________/  \    INSTEAD I CALL IT "SOAP"                       
        \_______      \                                                 
                `\     \                 \                              
             BA   |     |                  \                            
                 /      /                    \                          
                /     /                       \\                        
              /      /                         \ \                      
             /     /                            \  \                    
           /     /             _----_            \   \                  
          /     /           _-~      ~-_         |   |                  
         (      (        _-~    _--_    ~-_     _/   |                  
          \      ~-____-~    _-~    ~-_    ~-_-~    /                   
            ~-_           _-~          ~-_       _-~                    
               ~--______-~                ~-___-~      WHAT DO YOU MEAN 
                                                       THIS JOKE IS OLD 
                                                                        
                             NO WAY "SOAP" WILL LIVE FOREVER !!!!11!1!! 

#2650: MEL GIBSON

Mon, 2006 Sep 25

topical

               .:::.     I'M GLAD MEL GIBSON (EVEN IF DRUNK)     
     .:::.    /:::::\    FINALLY HAD THE COURAGE TO STAND UP     
    /:':':\   |  _  |    AND SAY WHAT WE WERE ALL REALLY THINKING
    |  _  |   | (_` |                                            
    | |_) |   | ,_) |    EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE TO BE POLITICALLY   
    | |   |   |     |    CORRECT AND CONDEMN HIM PUBLICLY WE'RE  
jgs |     |  /`'---'`\   ALL QUIETLY THANKING HIM ON THE INSIDE  
   /`'---'`\ `'-----'`                                           
   `'-----'`             BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT IN OUR SOCIETY    
                         TODAY SUGAR TITS ARE A REAL PROBLEM     

#2657: BURNT COOKIES

Mon, 2006 Oct 2

topical

   .       .                                                       
 +  :      .                                                       
           :       _       A FEMALE ASTRONAUT *WOULD* THINK THAT   
       .   !   '  (_)        SPACE SMELLS LIKE BURNT ALMOND COOKIES
          ,|.'                                                     
-  -- ---(-O-`--- --  -                                            
         ,`|'`.                                                    
       ,   !    .          AFTER ALL SHE'S JUST PREOCCUPIED WITH   
           :       :  "      ALL THE COOKING FOR HER HUSBAND SHE'S 
           .     --+--       GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR (BEING IN
 .:        .       !         SPACE AWAY FROM THE KITCHEN AND ALL)  
                                                                   
O!o                                                                

#2660: UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES PAGE

Thu, 2006 Oct 5

topical

              .__=\__                  .__==__,              
            jf'      ~~=\,         _=/~'      `\,            
        ._jZ'            `\q,   /=~             `\__         
       j5(/                 `\./                  V\\,       
     .Z))' _____              |             .____, \)/\      
    j5(K=~~     ~~~~\=_,      |      _/=~~~~'    `~~+K\\,    
  .Z)\/                `~=L   |  _=/~                 t\ZL   
 j5(_/.__/===========\__   ~q |j/   .__============___/\J(N, 
4L#XXXL_________________XGm, \P  .mXL_________________JXXXW8L
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YKWmmWmmW@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                                                             
    ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS BACK IN THE DAY WHILE *I* WAS       
    A PAGE FOR THE U.S. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES AND MATT    
    FOLEY MOLESTED *ME* I KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT AND TOOK IT     
    LIKE A MAN                                               
                                                             
    NOT LIKE THESE DAMN BLABBERMOUTH KIDS THESE DAYS WITH    
    THEIR COMPLAINING TO AUTHORITY FIGURES                   

#2687: TRICK OR TREAT

Wed, 2006 Nov 1

topical

      ___      .-""-.      ___                           
      \  "-.  /      \  .-"  /                           
       > -=.\/        \/.=- <                            
       > -='/\        /\'=- <                            
      /__.-'  \      /  '-.__\                           
 jgs           '-..-'                                    
        ____                                             
      .' /  '.                                           
     /  (  .-'\      I CAN'T BEAT OFF WITH ALL THESE KIDS
    |'.__\/__  |      IN COSTUMES KNOCKING ON MY DOOR    
    |    /\  '.|                                         
     \.-'  )  /                                          
jgs   '.__/_.'                                           
            ____                                         
          .' /:::.                                       
         /  (:::-'\                                      
        |:\__\/__  |                                     
        |::::/\:::\|                                     
         \::'  )::/                                      
 jgs      '.__/::'      ................... OR CAN I     

#2696: BORAT

Fri, 2006 Nov 10

topical

                                       ___                                
                               __..--''    \                              
                      ___..--''             \   MAYBE IF I HEAR THE WORD  
             ___..--''                       \   "BORAT" MORE IT WILL MAKE
     __..--''                                 \    ME NOT HATE IT SO MUCH 
    \                                    __..--\                          
     \                           __..--'' __..--\-._                      
      \                  __..--'' __..--''          '-._                  
       \         __..--'' __..--''                       \                
   _..--\__..--'' __..--''                                |               
 /       \__..--''                      __..__          .'                
|                               __..--''      ''--..__.'                  
\                       __..--''    .:`    `:.    \                       
 \               _..--''          .:`        `:.   |                      
  `.         _.-'                              `:. \                      
    `-.___.-'                   .-=-.               |                     
         /          .-=.       / .--.\      .-=-.   /                     
        /  /       /.-. \     | /####\|    / .--.\  |                     
        |  |      | |  \      \ \####//   | /####\| /                     
         \/ /      \ |         `-.__.`    \ \####//                       
          |/ /      \ \                 `--._...--.                       
           \|  /     `.                            \                      
             \|  /                                 |                      
               \|                                  |                      
                 \        `-._                    /                       
                  `.          `-.._              /                        
                    `.                      _.:`                          
                      `.            __..--''         NOPE DIDN'T WORK     
                        \           /                                     
                   LGB  |          |                                      

#2706: WII

Mon, 2006 Nov 20

topical, wii

                   o                                               
          o       /                                                
           \     /                                                 
            \   /                                                  
             \ /                                                   
        ______________                                             
       |.------------.|  LOOK, I CAN STICK THE WII CONTROLLER UP MY
       ||            ||   ASS AND SWING THE SWORD WITH MY BUTT     
       ||            ||                                            
       ||            ||     WHISH WHISH                            
       ||            ||                                            
       ||____________||_      ISN'T THAT NEAT                      
       |OO ....... OO | `-.                                        
       '------_.-._---' _.'                                        
        _____||   ||___/_                                          
       /  _.-|| N ||-._  \      .-._                               
      / -'_.---------._'- \    ,'___i--i___                        
     /_.-'_  NINTENDO _'-._\  ' /_+  o :::_\                       
    |`-i /m\/m\|\|/=,/m\i-'|  | || \ O / ||                        
akg |  |_\_/\_/___\_/'./|  |  | \/  \ /  \/                        
     `-'              '-.`-'  ,      V                             

#2707: IN VINO VERITAS

Tue, 2006 Nov 21

topical

                     //                                           
                    //                                            
                   //                                             
                  //                                              
           _______||                                              
      ,-'''       ||`-.                                           
     (            ||   )                                          
     |`-..._______,..-'|    I WOULD SAY THAT THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED 
     |            ||   |    KRAMER ON SEINFELD'S CAREER IS NOW    
     |     _______||   |    CLEARLY OVER AFTER HIS LITTLE OUTBURST
     |,-'''_ _  ~ ||`-.|                                          
     |  ~ / `-.\ ,-'\ ~|    BUT THE FACT THAT NOBODY CAN REMEMBER 
     |`-...___/___,..-'|    HIS REAL NAME AND INSTEAD JUST CALLS  
     |    `-./-'_ \/_| |    HIM "KRAMER" KIND OF MAKES IT CLEAR   
     | -'  ~~     || -.|    THAT WAS ALREADY TRUE                 
jrei (   ~      ~   ~~ )                                          
      `-..._______,..-'                                           

#2741: MERRY CHRISTMAS

Mon, 2006 Dec 25

topical

  \`-  //-  ,   /                                              
 -|\ -'<__//;/`:_'|/   _            |'                         
\=-; |\_,\ [|, _|- _,':'.  .'`      '|  ||        .|           
/`/\-,\_\' `||L.`/|| '|'<|//        |;  ||         |           
 ||`|>=_,|\:_[,\'|\.-`'/,` _', /    '|  ||        ||           
/|.'|\`.-- .-. -,'||.|'_`'|:-/',-'  _j_ |'        |'           
 '| / \|\, [:-' ,/|'||\ |\:'`'-=:' '---''|        '|           
` '-\ ||-:\-\''._ '| ']'\ .\`'..-'''"'  |;-.      |;           
 ' `  -,''|\-:/\-/|.__   /|'.''  /'     '|  `.    '|           
   '/ `\'' ||' [,`'|._     /  //;'      ; .   \   _7_          
  `/| \| \\`.'|\,`_7_ '.  ; '|,        || \\:  \,'---'._       
      / `\'` _,--'---'-.  ; |;|         |  ;|  ; ' "''- `'.    
           ,'        ,  `.| '|;        ||      |      '\\. '   
          /`-'   /    ` .  \ .|       '|'  |:. ;        \\. `\ 
         ' ./   /        `  \  |.      '| ||| |         ''\\ `.
        ; //|   :         \ '.  '.     |;  /'/            ;|  |
        |.;||          |.  | |.        '|  ,' .|         ''   |
        ;\''    `      |'    | `-..___,_j-|`  |:.       .//'  ;
    /    \ \\         .'`   ;       _,'---',_  ||      ''    / 
  _-; -`  \` .      '      /     ,-`'         `. "|.   '    /  
\`-.__.-:' ':\|.,       _,'    ,`,.        .|.  `. '    _.-'   
 '|//-.. .=, '-..___..-'      / /,          ||\   '..--'       
 .\ /':_ ./__,.              .///`           ''\\  \           
; /|=-' `.:, '/_ ,/    .     ;||;               ;|.;           
  | ,` | / -:'::__.-:'       ||``             '' | |           
     /`; / '\'-/==::_<:-,    '`\\.           .//'' ;           
      .' _.'| \`.,-..,-]=.-   \  ``         /''`  /            
            ; ,'| \|.`=:,-..   '.  ._           ,'             
           '  '`|'`]| \_ '-''    '-._'-     _,-'mx             
                '  ' ` |\            `''--'`                   
                                                               
    MY DANGLY THINGS GET REALLY SWOLLEN THIS TIME OF YEAR      

#2744: GERALD FORD

Thu, 2006 Dec 28

topical

                 _ _.-'`-._ _                 
                ;.'________'.;                
     _________n.[____________].n_________     
    |""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""]    
    |"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""|    
    |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI|    
    |.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..|    
    |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI|    
 ,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,, 
;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
                                              
    FORD: NOT QUITE AS TERRIBLE AS CARTER     

#2746: SADDAM HUSSEIN, R.I.P.

Sat, 2006 Dec 30

topical

     |/|                                   
     |/|                                   
     |/|       BYE SADDAM                  
     |/|                                   
     |/|                                   
     |/|                                   
     |/| /.)                               
     |/|/\/                                
     |/|\/                                 
    (...)                                  
    (...)                                  
    (...)                                  
    (...)                                  
    (...)                                  
    /../\                                  
   / ,^./\                                 
  / /   \/\                                
 / /     \/\                               
( (       )/)                              
| |       |/|                              
| |       |/|                              
| |       |/|       SAY HI TO TOOKIE FOR US
( (       )/)                              
 \ \     / /                               
  \ `---' /                                
   `-----'    PhS                          

#2754: THE DAWN OF A NEW AGE

Sun, 2007 Jan 7

second life, topical, word

         _                                                             
        /\) _                                                          
   _   / / (/\      WANNA CONDUCT AN INTERVIEW IN SECOND LIFE HUH ?????
  /\) ( Y)  \ \                                                        
 / /   ""   (Y )                                                       
( Y)  _      ""                                                        
 ""  (/\       _                                                       
      \ \     /\)                                                      
      (Y )   / /    FROM THIS DAY FORTH WE SHALL HARKEN BACK TO TODAY  
       ""   ( Y)    AS THE DAWN OF A NEW AGE OF PENISGRIEFING          
 Krogg       ""                                                        

#2785: ASTRONAUT CHECKLIST

Wed, 2007 Feb 7

topical

                     <>                                               
       .-"""-.       ||::::::==========   OKAY KIDS HERE'S YOUR       
      /=      \      ||::::::==========   ASTRONAUT CHECKLIST:        
     |- /~~~\  |     ||::::::==========                               
     |=( '.' ) |     ||================     [X] MAPS                  
     \__\_=_/__/     ||================     [X] DIAPERS               
      {_______}      ||================     [X] TRENCHOAT             
    /` *       `'--._||                     [X] WIG                   
   /= .     [] .     { >                    [X] BB GUN                
  /  /|ooo     |`'--'||                     [X] PEPPER SPRAY          
 (   )\_______/      ||                     [X] STEEL MALLET          
  \``\/       \      ||                     [X] KNIFE                 
   `-| ==    \_|     ||                     [X] RUBBER TUBING         
     /         |     ||                     [X] EXTRA BIG PLASTIC BAGS
    |=   >\  __/     ||                                               
    \   \ |- --|     ||                     [ ] A BRAIN IN MY PRETTY  
     \ __| \___/     ||                         LITTLE HEAD           
jgs  _{__} _{__}     ||                                               
    (    )(    )     ||                   OOPS                        
^^~  `"""  `"""  ~^^^~^^~~~^^^~^^^~^^^~                               

#2787: ONE LESS RAFT

Fri, 2007 Feb 9

anna nicole smith, topical

                                                            ---\=,</         
..,.,.,,.,.,.,,.,._,,,____,,,...,.,.,,.....,....,.,..,,.  ,-=--'\\_\/        
""""""""""############z_ _`"""########################' ,---'>__,>,_`-.     |
       :  |  `"""V#######,,_ `-  ""##################' --z--;" /_/  `. `.   |
          |          `/"""".`|`|| } }|.""""""""|"""""  --'//`/'  `    \  '. |
    :          :      |:     ||   |  |  :   :  |   :   ,_\---_\._   :  `.\ |/
                   :  /  :   |  |   || :  :      :    //--'> ___ ``-,_   \  \
         `"^            :  ` ||   || |   :  :         '=-`',' / `-, __`-. |  
      :    :          : :  : |  |    ||    :     ---  //7;<\     / ,--._ ` | 
         .,      :        :  |   ||| || '       :     -/;\'/` -='/|(    \ \  
        %#'            :    `| |||    |  :   :      :  // '\   // | `    | | 
    :         :   `'   :  :  || # | |||    :            `    .        :  |   
                         :   | ||#|#| | ':    :    :             :       `   
         '#"      :   :    : | ||,|, ||   :      /        :           |:  || 
  ""'                    :  \\|\ X XX///`      :|   :    |   :      : |   |  
        :             :  / >\\> <\/\< </</==::_ |' ,`  ,.|_____|______|`--|  
   :         :   |    ,''{` /"^"/'/\^\'"\ --  """==;:zz,,_;__ ,; : , ,,hjm|  
        |'       |`--', ',`--,,_    -_ --.  `--.     __ ""`"=;;--=--=;;-==|| 
        |    ,,--' ''  ,` ,',' ,'`--,._    -=-  /%%\.___     ---          |  
  :     |---'  '  ' ,' ,`` , .'`.,,` , ';'--,._   `-=='  ~~  __ __ _,  ~~ |  
     :,-',' '` `` ,  .`, ,',' ', ` , ,','',`, `'"`--,,_____..__          / | 
,,---',  ' ' , , '  ', , ` ' ,' `, ,  , ` '` ',`,`,` ,',' ',, ,`""'--~',' /  
                                                                             
     ANNA NICOLE SMITH DIED HUH ?!?!?!                                       
                                                                             
     WELL THAT'S ONE PERSON I HAVE TO CROSS OFF MY LIST OF POTENTIAL         
     HUMAN LIFE RAFTS I CAN POTENTIALLY USE WHEN THE EARTH FLOODS            
     OVER COMPLETELY DUE TO GLOBAL WARMING WHICH I'M PRETTY SURE             
     IS GOING TO HAPPEN ANY SECOND ........................ NOW              

#2797: LACROSSE

Mon, 2007 Feb 19

topical

'-.____________________________________________________
                     .::::::::::::::::::::             
                   .::::::::::::::::::::::             
                 .::::::::::::::::::::::::             
               .::::::::::::::::::::::::::             
            |                   |:::::::::             
           .| I WAS RAPED BY    |:::::::::             
         .::| THE DUKE LACROSSE |:::::::::             
       .::::| TEAM !!!!! I MEAN |:::::::::             
     .::::::| NO I WASN'T (LIE) |:::::::::             
   .::::::::|   __         __   |:::::::::             
 .::::::::::|__(  )_______(  )__|:::::::::             
::::::::::::::::\ \ ,~~~~./ /:::::::::::::             
::::::::::::::::| ;`'`'`'; |::::::::::::::             
::::::::::::::::| ;;*( *;; |::::::::::::::             
::::::::::::::::| ;; @  ;; |::::::::::::::             
:::::::::::::::::\||    ||/:::::::::::::::             
::::::::::::::::::( \__/ )::::::::::::::::             
:::::::::::::::::::)    (:::::::::::::::::             
::::::::::::::::::/      \::::::::::::::::             
:::::::::::::::::/________\:::::::::::::::             
:::::::::::::::::/ /::::\ \:::::::::::::::             
::::::::::::::::/ /::::::\ \::::::::::::::             
:::::::::::::::/_/::::::::\_\:::::::::::::             
:::::::::::::(___)::::::::(___)::::::::smd             

#2809: AND NOW A PRESENTATION FROM THE JOHN EDWARDS SECOND LIFE HEADQUARTERS

Sat, 2007 Mar 3

election 2008, second life, topical

       VOTE FOR EDWARDS YOU FUCKING CUNTS
                                         
              /                          
    (   )    /                           
 (   ) (                                 
  ) _   )                                
   ( \_                                  
 _(_\ \)__                               
(____\___)) Krogg98                      

#2810: LIAR, LIAR

Sun, 2007 Mar 4

topical, wikipedia

CHECK ME OUT NEW YORKER !!!!! I'M A DISTINGUISHED WIKIPEDIA         
CONTRIBUTOR WITH FOUR ADVANCED DEGREES AND HAVE TONS OF HARD-WORKING
STUDENTS AND AM IN MY THIRTIES IN A STABLE GAY RELATIONSHIP AND AM  
SO RESPECTED IN THE COMMUNITY THAT I GOT HIRED TO WORK FOR WIKIA,   
THE FOR-PROFIT COUSIN TO WIKIPEDIA !!!!!!!                          
                                                                    
EXCEPT PSYCH !!!!!! NO ACTUALLY I'M A BIG FAT FUCKING LIAR AND I    
HAVE NO DEGREES, NO STUDENTS, AM IN MY TWENTIES, AND I'M NOT IN A   
LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP !!!!!!!!!! BUT I STILL AM GAY !!!!!!!!!!     
                                                                    
AND ALSO STILL EMPLOYED BY WIKIA FOR SOME FUCKING PUZZLING REASON   
                                                                    
IT'S ALMOST AS IF ....... WIKIPEDIA IS A PIECE OF STEAMING SHIT     
AND EVERYONE, INCLUDING JIMBO WALES KNOWS IT AND SO WHY BOTHER      
PRETENDING ANYMORE                                                  
                                                                    
P.S. GO FUCK YOURSELF RUNNING, LIAR                                 
                                                                    
                 _.---.._                                           
    _        _.-'         ''-.                                      
  .'  '-,_.-'                 '''.                                  
 (       _                     o  :                                 
  '._ .-'  '-._         \  \-  ---]                                 
                '-.___.-')  )..-'                                   
                         (_/                  MJP                   
                                                                    
(NOTE: NO ACTUAL MANATEES WERE HARMED IN THE CREATION OF THIS FART) 

#2818: RIP RICHARD JENI

Mon, 2007 Mar 12

topical

 _                                                                
|_t+.__________________......_  /;_                               
;________________/     :    \ t""o.\__                            
:---|------------------t-----^-`--'  /     RICHARD JENI DIES AT 49
 \__L___________________\____________\                            
              ""-. o .--. \--'/  l  .-t+.                         
                  \ (   l) ;""   : /                              
                   l `--" o;      Y                               
                    """""";:  .-. :\                              
                          ::  '-'  ;\      AMERICA SAYS, "WHO"    
                           ;;      : ;                            
                           :: bug   ;|                            
                           ;'-------';                            
                           '"------""                             

#2827: COMET MCNAUGHT

Wed, 2007 Mar 21

topical

                   .    |     .                                     
                    \   |    /                                      
                `.   \  '   /   .'      I'M A SUNGRAZING COMET      
                  `. .-*""*-. .'                                    
              "*-._ /.*"  "*.\ _.-*"                                
                   : <o>  <o> ; ____    MEANING I LIFT UP THE SUN'S 
              """"':    ..    ;         SKIRT TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON
              _.-*" \ `.__.' / "*-._    DOWN THERE                  
                  .' `-.__.-' `.                                    
bug             .'   /   .  \   `.                                  
                    /    |   \          MAYBE I SHOULD BE CALLED    
                   '     |    `         PATRICK MCNAUGHTON          

#2830: PLAMEGATE

Sat, 2007 Mar 24

topical

    _                                       
   / }     T VALERIE PLAME SHOW US YOUR TITS
  /'.\                                      
_/ ) (`-                                    
  ( ,)                                      
   |/                                       
  /|                                        
 '  `         Elb                           

#2832: BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

Mon, 2007 Mar 26

battlestar galactica, topical

                                 ,-                                          
                               ,'::|                                         
                              /::::|                                         
                            ,'::::o\                                      _..
         ____........-------,..::?88b                                  ,-' / 
 _.--"""". . . .      .   .  .  .  ""`-._                           ,-' .;'  
<. - :::::o......  ...   . . .. . .  .  .""--._                  ,-'. .;'    
 `-._  ` `":`:`:`::||||:::::::::::::::::.:. .  ""--._ ,'|     ,-'.  .;'      
     """_=--       //'doo.. ````:`:`::::::::::.:.:.:. .`-`._-'.   .;'        
         ""--.__     P(       \               ` ``:`:``:::: .   .;'          
                "\""--.:-.     `.                             .:/            
                  \. /    `-._   `.""-----.,-..::(--"".\""`.  `:\            
                   `P         `-._ \          `-:\          `. `:\           
                                   ""            "            `-._)  -Seal   
                                                                             
    BATTLESTAR GALACTICA SEASON 3:                                           
                                                                             
      NOT JUST JUMPING THE SHARK, BUT SODOMIZING IT, PERFORMING MOUTH        
      TO ANAL, DOUBLE PENETRATION, TWO IN EACH HOLE, THREE IN EACH HOLE,     
      CUTTING IT OPEN AND FUCKING THE WOUND, THEN PUNCHING THE VIEWER        
      IN THE FACE AND FINALLY GOING BACK IN TIME AND DOING IT ALL OVER AGAIN 

#2842: THREE HUNDRED

Thu, 2007 Apr 5

topical

        __                                                                   
      .'  '\._                                                               
      \  @ /;      __                                                        
    ;::'--':;. _ .'  '.                                                      
      :;:: _.'._ \  @ /   I JUST SAW 300                                     
      ;;.-:/ | \:.'--;                                                       
      :___......._ '.     DUDE IT'S TOTALLY AN ALLEGORY ABOUT WHY I HATE BUSH
     {{__..--""-,_'-.:                                                       
    {{[_ _  _  _ _'--.}   SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN ALLEGORY I MEANT SCATTERGORY   
    {[| | || || | |-.]}                                                      
    {[\-'-':-::-:-'/ ]}   MAN SCATTERGORIES IS A FUN GAME                    
    {[  \ \ _\_/ /  ~]}                                                      
    {{[\ .-'    '-./]}}   WOW I'D REALLY LIKE SOME PIE RIGHT NOW             
     {[.:-"'\ /'"-'.]}                                                       
    {['  __/ \__  :]}     HMMM LEMON MERENGUE OR KEY LIME                    
    {[::' _) (_ ' :]}                                                        
   {{[:  : ] [  : :]}     WAIT WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT                      
   {[:  : (   )  :]}}                                                        
  {{[: :   '-'   :]}                                                         
   [ : :_.:';.   :]}                                                         
  {{[_.' _ _ _ '-._]}                                                        
   {|\\|~|_|_|_|~| ] }                                                       
jim{{  '""''~~~""--  _'                                                      
     ''""""""""""""''                                                        
        .   |   .                                                            
        -:--|--:-                                                            
        '   |   '                                                            
           _|_                                                               
          |   |                                                              
          \   /                                                              
          /   \                                                              

#2854: THE MORAL OF THE STORY

Tue, 2007 Apr 17

topical

                          _                            
                        _-' "'-,                       
                     _-' | d$$b |                      
                  _-'    | $$$$ |                      
               _-'       | Y$$P |                      
            _-'|         |      |                      
         _-'  _*         |      |                      
      _-' |_-"      __--''\    /                       
   _-'         __--'     __*--'                        
 -'       __-''    __--*__-"`                          
|    _--''   __--*"__-'`                               
|_--"  .--=`"__-||"                                    
|      |  |\\   ||                                     
| .dUU |  | \\ //     I GUESS THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS
| UUUU | _|___//                                       
| UUUU |  |                                            
| UUUU |  |                                            
| UUUU |  |                  DON'T CHEAT ON ME         
| UUUU |  |                                            
| UUUU |  |                                            
| UUP' |  |                                            
|   ___^-"`                                            
 ""'                                                   
 [Matzec]                                              

#2860: HUNGARIAN NOTATION

Mon, 2007 Apr 23

topical

          __..--"""""""""""""""""::|                                   
  __..--""                _..--""  |                                   
.:______________________.:| |      |   AFTER FOISTING THE HORRIBLE     
|       __________      ||| |    ()|   TRAVESTY THAT IS HUNGARIAN      
| __====::::::::::====__||| |()    |   NOTATION ON AN UNSUSPECTING     
||\_____________________||| |      |   AND INNOCENT WORLD I THINK      
|||                     ||| |      |   WE SHOULD HAVE JUST LEFT        
|||                     ||| |      |   CHARLES SIMONYI IN SPACE        
|||                     ||| |      |   RATHER THAN BRING HIM BACK      
|||_____________________||| |      |   DOWN HERE SO HE CAN DO MORE     
|||---------------------||| |      |   ANNOYING THINGS IN THE NAME     
||| :-----------------: ||| |      |   OF COMPUTER SCIENCE             
||| |              32x| ||| |      |                                   
||| '"""""""""""""""""' ||| |      |   "HERE CHARLES CHECK IT OUT      
||| o = =       o [] [] ||| |      |   IT'S A NICE LITTLE AIRLOCK      
|||---------------------||| |      |   STEP IN"                        
|||"""""""""""""""""""""||| |      |                                   
|||    |==========|     ||| |      |   SORRY I MEAN                    
|||    | o """  ()|     ||| |      |                                   
|||_____________________||| |      |   "dHERE pnCHARLES vCHECK pIT lOUT
||/_____________________||| |      |   pIT'S iA aNICE aLITTLE nAIRLOCK 
||                      ||| |      |   vSTEP pIN"                      
|'.                    .'|| |      |                                   
| '--__           __--'  || |      |                                   
|      """""""""""       || |      |                                   
|                        || |      |                                   
|                        || |      |                                   
|       |_____|          || |      |                                   
|       (____(|          || |      |                                   
|       |     |          || |      |                                   
|                        || |      |                                   
|       ||   ||          || |      |                                   
|       ((   ((          || |      |                                   
|       ||   ||          || |      |                                   
|                        || |      |                                   
|                        || |      |                                   
|  .: : : : : : : : .    || |    ()|                                   
|  |: : : : : : : : |    || |      |                                   
|  |':':':':':':':':|    || |()    |                                   
|  | '.'.'.'.'.'.'.'|    || |      |                                   
|  |/""""""""""""""";.   || |     .'                                   
|  :      x          '.  || |   .'                                     
|  :      x:          :  || | .'                                       
| ."      x:          ". || :'                                         
|_:____________________:_|:'       grp                                 

#2864: VIRGINIA TECH SHOOTING

Fri, 2007 Apr 27

gun free zones, topical

 +-'~`---------------------------------/\--                 
||"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \\\\\\  \/~)             
||                                  \\\\\\  \/_             
 |~~~~~~~~-________________-_________________\ ~--_         
 !---------|_________       ------~~~~~(--   )--~~          
                     \ /~~~~\~~\   )--- \_ /(               
                      ||     |  | \   ()   \\               
                      \\____/_ / ()\        \\              
                       `~~~~~~~~~-. \        \\             
                                   \ \  <($)> \\            
                                    \ \        \\           
                                     \ \        \\          
                                      \ \        \\         
                                       \ \  ()    \|        
                                       _\_\__====~~~        
                                                            
                                                            
      JUST THINK THAT IF THE VIRGINIA TECH CAMPUS WERE      
      A GUN-FREE ZONE THIS TRAGEDY WOULD NEVER HAVE ... OOPS
                                                            
      I THINK THIS WHOLE INCIDENT CLEARLY ILLUSTRATES THE   
      NEED FOR A COMPREHENSIVE BAN ON THE SALE OF GUNS AND  
      ALL OTHER POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS MATERIAL TO THE WRONG 
      KIND OF PEOPLE                                        
                                                            
      BECAUSE AS WE KNOW MOST CRIMES ARE COMMITTED BY PEOPLE
      OBEYING THE LAW SO CLEARLY THIS WILL BE EFFECTIVE     

#2912: ROSIE

Thu, 2007 Jun 14

topical

         _.--._                                                     
      ,'        `.                                                  
     /   __) __`  \                                                 
    (   (`-`(-')   )   CAN WE ALL STOP TALKING ABOUT ROSIE O'DONNELL
    /)  \   _  /  (                                                 
   /'    )-._.' .  \ ___     STARTING .......................... NOW
  (  ,--.,    `.)___(___)                                           
   )(   /-.,--'\   _ \X/`                                           
  '/ .'/        \ (  Uu")\                                          
    / /          \ `/,-'  )                                         
   ( ^      ,    ,^ )`._.'                                          
    ( `.   Y   .'  )                                                
     \  `. )\.'   / )                                               
     )`._.'=='._.' (                                                
    /               )   Ojo/VK/FS/ejm                               
   (                ."-.                                            
  /(`    -)        /    \                                           
 (  \`-.__    -'_."      `                                          
 |  \`-.__.--"v"          |                                         
 `.'      \   |,          ,                                         
  /        `._/           :                                         
 /           |           '                                          
/           /|          /                                           
           / |         /                                            

#2929: IPHONE

Sun, 2007 Jul 1

macintosh, topical

 __i                                                    
|---|                                                   
|[_]|  I'M WAITING IN LINE TO PUNCH PEOPLE WHO ARE      
|:::|   WAITING IN LINE TO BE THE FIRST TO BUY AN IPHONE
|:::|                                                   
`\   \                                                  
  \_=_\ jsm                                             

#2931: VBIED

Tue, 2007 Jul 3

topical

       ____          "VEHICLE-BORNE IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICE" ?!?!?!    
    __/___/______                                                          
   |_ \__'   \"_"\   MORE LIKE "VERY BADLY IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICE"    
PS `())--,())'-,,'                                                         
                     COME ON YOU ANIMALS SURELY YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS

#2976: DEAR JOSE

Fri, 2007 Aug 17

topical

---.----.__..----.----| _|_||___||___||___||___||___||___||_|_ |    
   |        |    |    | -.-..---..---..---..---..---..---..-.- |--.-
---'--.-----'----'--.-|  | ||   ||   ||   ||   ||   ||   || |  | `| 
      |:           (| |  | ||   ||   ||   ||   ||   ||   || |  |--'-
      |:.           | | _|_||___||___||___||___||___||___||_|_ |    
------'----.-.,----.'-| -.-..---..---..---..---..---..---..-.- |-.--
       ,/) |       |  |  | ||   ||   ||   ||   ||   ||   || |  | |` 
----.---8--'--.----'--|  | ||   ||   ||   ||   ||   ||   || |  | |  
    |   8     |:      | _|_||___||___||___||___||___||___||_|_ |-'--
    | ,)//    |:.     | -.-..---..---..---..---..---..---..-.- |:.  
----'-`=;'--.-'-.----.|  | ||   ||   ||   ||   ||   ||   || |  |--.-
      //   /_ _( \    |  | ||   ||   ||   ||   ||   ||   || |  | /| 
---.-//----)/\,'_/----| _|_||___||___||___||___||___||___||_|_ | `| 
   |/|     `;=.(      | -.-..---..---..---..---..---..---..-.- |--'-
(  |`.`.   |`,-/      |,-'-||---||---||---||---||---||---||-'-.|    
-`-'-.`.`-.';'=`.-..--'-.--------.-------------.--.-------.----'--.-
     |  `-./.}{-'\.)    |        )             |   `)     |       \ 
     |    :`-}{-''||    |:.      |   ,_        |          |:.     | 
---'`'-.--|`-}{-'||)----'-.------'--'.,`--.----'--------.-'-------'-
       |  :`-`'-'/)|      |               |:.           |           
-.-----'--;`.}{,`.||----,-'--------.------'---.--------,'--.,-------
 |:     ,'/.`..'_(/(    |:         |          |             \       
 |:.  ,',' |`--`.('))   |:.        |          |             |:      
-'--,' <.._|__,. >`,----'----------'--------.,'-------------'----SSt
    ``----....(','                                                  
           _,'>'                                                    
           )/      DEAR JOSE PADILLA                                
           `'                                                       
                 HAVE FUN IN PRISON                                 
                                                                    
               HOPE YOU LIKE THE RAPE                               
                                                                    
             SIGNED, 300 MILLION PEOPLE                             

#2988: LUNAR ECLIPSE

Wed, 2007 Aug 29

topical

         ___---___                                  
      .--         --.                               
    ./   ()      .-. \.                             
   /   o    .   (   )  \                            
  / .            '-'    \    OH GOD OH GOD          
 | ()    .  O         .  |                          
|                         |                         
|    o           ()       |                         
|       .--.          O   |                         
 | .   |    |            |                          
  \    `.__.'    o   .  /    WHO STEPPED ON THE MOON
   \                   /                            
    `\  o    ()      /' jgs                         
      `--___   ___--'                               
            ---                                     

#2989: OWEN WILSON

Thu, 2007 Aug 30

topical

                                      POOR OWEN WILSON !!!!!!!!!111111111  
   emmmmmm~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\                                       
    """"""|_____                    )  I'M RICH AND FAMOUS AND WELL-LIKED  
Elijah          """""""""--------"""   AND FUNNY AND GET GIRLS !!!! BOO-HOO
                                                                           
                                      NOW IF WE CAN ONLY GET BEN AFFLECK   
                                      TO FOLLOW SUIT WE'RE IN BUSINESS     

#3009: DON'T TAZ ME

Wed, 2007 Sep 19

topical

                          __....__                                    
                        :._  .-:::::::::" .:                          
                        '::""::::::::::::::'                          
                      .-""":::_:::::::::::'/;                         
                     .:-._.::| ""-::::;'|:;/.--.                      
                   .:::::::-"'-._o.--.o-': . ':::.                    
               _.=::::::"  .-":  ":..::   .   ::::.                   
             -:::::::::|    .(     'T'  -._.  ::::::.                 
            -:::::::/::'      |T--"""""--:|  .:::::::::.              
     ...    .:::::'.::|       ':         :'  ::''':::::;.             
     ':::. .:::::' :::'                     :'     "::::;             
        :: ::::'   ::|                     .:        ::::.            
 .:::::. :::::'    ::|                     :'        '::::            
:::':::::::::' ... ::|               __.' .:          ':::.     ..:::.
 '    "::::::::::' :::.            ""     :'           ':::   .:::::''
        ':''::''   '::|                  .:            .:::..::::..   
                    ::|                 .:            .:::::''':::::. 
                    ::|                .:         ':::::''       '''  
                    ::|               .:'           '''               
                    :::.            .:'                               
                   .:::|          .::'                                
                   ::::|        .::::.                                
               ._.::::::.    ..:::::::.     DON'T TAZ ME, BRO!!!      
               '::::::::::'''':::::::::                               
                 '':::::'      ':::::::.                              
                 .::::'          ::::::'                              
                 '':::.         .::::'                                
            ....    ':::.      .:::'     ....                         
           ::::::::::::::'    '::::::::::::::::.                      
           '::::::::::'''       '''''':::::::::'                      

#3018: DAWN LAUNCH

Fri, 2007 Sep 28

topical

      |    DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH  
     / \    DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH 
    / _ \    DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH
   |.o '.|   DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH
   |'._.'|   DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH DAWN LAUNCH
   |     |                                                              
 ,'|  |  |`.                                                            
/  |  |  |  \          CORK IT GUYS, NO ONE CARES AT THIS POINT         
|,-'--|--'-.| l42                                                       

#3025: BASEBALL TEAM NAMES

Fri, 2007 Oct 5

topical

      _--_     dMb                                                    
   __(._  )   d0P   THE LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM 3               
     <  (D)  .MP                                                      
   .~ \ /~```M-.    THE LONG BEACH ARMADA OF LOS ANGELES OF CALIFORNIA
 .~    V    Mo_ \   OF THE UNITED STATES OF NORTH AMERICA INCLUDING   
 (   (___. {:)-./   BARROW, ALASKA 2                                  
  ~._____.(:}                                                         
   /     .M\        COMMON SENSE 0                                    
  /      "" \                                                         
  |    /\   |                                                         
  /   /  \   \                                                        
 /   /    \   \                                                       
 \__/      \__/                                                       
 / /        | |                                                       
.^V^.      .^V^.                                                      
 +-+        +-+                                                       

#3057: THE FIFTH OF NOVEMBER

Tue, 2007 Nov 6

election 2008, ron paul, topical

         ,,,,,                                                          
         \ e e\                                                         
         C  _\/    |\\,   I HOPE WE'RE ALL TAKING TIME OUT              
          )\_)    \_ /     TO CONTRIBUTE TO RON PAUL'S CAMPAIGN !!!!!   
        _/|/_     _//                                                   
      ,'\ ~ /'-,_/  \                                                   
     /   \_/    /   /   BECAUSE THERE'S NO BETTER FEELING THAN          
    ,  |     \_._,-"     FLUSHING YOUR HARD-EARNED MONEY DOWN THE TOILET
   (  <     _'                                                          
   |   \     \                                                          
   ', -',-~.-'                                                          
   _/  )     |                                                          
    |//   |  '                                                          
      '   )  |                                                          
      |   |  |                                                          
   ._.,   -  |.,_ //                                                    
_\-'  )___|__|_    '-._                                                 
b'ger  /____\__\                                                        

#3060: DOG CHAPMAN

Fri, 2007 Nov 9

topical

    _"_ %                                        
    (<  ?                                        
     ` "      BOUNTY HUNTERS AREN'T SUPPOSED     
    __||___    TO FUCKING CRY LIKE LITTLE BITCHES
   |\___//_\                                     
   (' | ') \\                                    
 __|\ , /  |/                                    
/:  /   \  ::                                    
\| ######o /|                                    
  ######## \)                                    
  ########                                       
   \ :  /                                        
    \: /                                         
     --                                          
     %%%                                         
      %%                                         
       %                                         
      /:\                                        
     |/|, b'ger                                  

#3070: BEE MOVIE

Mon, 2007 Nov 19

topical

                                                                    
`>.___    o-.--.-o    ___,<'                                        
 /    `.   / ,, \   .'    \                                         
{       `.; ,__, ;.'       }                                        
 `._      }`.__.'{      _.'                                         
    `,=."'        `".=,'       BLAH BLAH FUCKING BEE MOVIE BLAH BLAH
   .'   /`-.____.-'_   `,                                           
   \_.';`-.______.-':`._/                                           
       `+-.______.-''                                               
         `-.____.-'                                                 
          /  ||  \                                                  
         ;   ;;   ;                                                 
         `-./  \.-'     fsc                                         

#3074: HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2007

Fri, 2007 Nov 23

topical

          ____                                        
         /    \                                       
        /______\                                      
    ___/___[_]__\___                                  
      (_/ _. ._\_)                                    
     (_/    _\  \_)                                   
    (_(   .___.  )                                    
       \_      _/                                     
     __/_\____/_\__                                   
   .'     \    /   `.                                 
   |       \__/      |                                
   |   |     |   |   |                                
   |   |     |   |   |                                
   |   |     |   |   |                                
   |   |     |   |   |                                
   |   |     |   |   |        ______________________  
   |___|     |   |___|       /                      \ 
   /  |      /    |  \       |  FUCK YOU FAGGOT I   | 
   \__|_____/\____| \/       | DON'T THINK YOU HAVE | 
      |____[__]___|\ \_/\    | THE STONES FOR THIS  | 
      |           | \/   |   \__  __________________/ 
      |     |     | / ()/       |/                    
      |     |     |/   /                              
      |     |     |\__/    _.--.                      
      |     |     |        \o   `      .-.-..-.       
      |     |     |        .'  .' .--. |      /       
      |     |     |       ;   (_.'    `|     /        
_____ |     |     | _____ .   .      . |    /___jro___
      |_____|_____|       `.   `.    ;  \  /          
      /    | |    \         `-.  `--'    .'           
   _[]     | |     []_         `-. .'. .'             
  /        | |        \          || ||                
  `----""--' `--""----'          /|\|\                

#3084: LOSER

Mon, 2007 Dec 3

islam, topical

  .._                                
 ;   ;                               
;     :                              
:\     ;                             
 \\    :                             
  :\    ;    _.--"""--.___           
   :;    '-.' ,="   "-=,`."-,        
    '.    ;="           " ;  '-.     
      '-.;      _..._      ;    '-.  
         :   .-. ___ .-.   ;       \ 
        ;    ;.-".-."-.;    ;       :
        ;   .'  '._.'  '.   ;`,__.-.'
        ;   ;    _,_    ;   ;  `--"  
         ;  '..-"   "-,.'  ;         
          '.  `-.___.-'  .'          
    __..--" `-.__   __.-' "--..__    
 .-"           /,\""/,\          "-. 
;  __..    ,  :",:@:=,"; ,    ..__  ;
'._   __.-,"  '.'/  \'.' ",-.__   _.'
   """   ;,     "    "    ,;   """   
         ; .             , :         
        ;   '   LOSER   '   ;        
       ;                    :        
     .-"".  `.   ',   ."  .""-.      
    /,""-.'.  '. ;  .'  .'.-"",\     
   :: '   ; ;  ; __ ;  : :   ' :;    
   ;;     ; ;  /'  '\  ; ;     ;:    
   :'.    : ;,'      ',: :    .';    
    \ '._/ ;            ; \_.' /     
     `-._.'              '._.-'   fsc

#3112: POST HOC ERGO PROPER HOC

Mon, 2007 Dec 31

topical

                      __,,,,_                                         
       _ __..-;''`--/'/ /.',-`-.     TIME TO MASTURBATE               
   (`/' ` |  \ \ \\ / / / / .-'/`,_     (TO KEEP THE TIGERS AWAY)     
  /'`\ \   |  \ | \| // // / -.,/_,'-,                                
 /<7' ;  \ \  | ; ||/ /| | \/    |`-/,/-.,_,/')                       
/  _.-, `,-\,__|  _-| / \ \/|_/  |    '-/.;.\'                        
`-`  f/ ;      / __/ \__ `/ |__/ |                                    
     `-'      |  -| =|\_  \  |-' |   IT'S ALWAYS WORKED BEFORE I SEE  
           __/   /_..-' `  ),'  //     NO REASON THIS TREND WON'T     
       fL ((__.-'((___..-'' \__.'        CONTINUE INTO THE LGHA LIHYSL
                                           OH GOD MY SPLEEN GLALIY SKH
                                             AGLZAIE ILKHR LKHSDFLKIS 

#3131: BOBBY FISCHER

Sat, 2008 Jan 19

topical

                  +  \\^//       ~~                          
1 III  ,o/  </>  [#]  (#)  </>  ,o/  III 1                   
 _[#]__[#]__(#)_[_#_](_#_)_(#)__[#]__[#]_                    
      :::::     :::::     :::::     :::::     SEARCHING FOR  
2  _    _    _    _         _    _    _  2    BOBBY FISCHER'S
 _(#)__(#)__(#)__(#)_     _(#)__(#)__(#)_     CORPSE         
 :::::     :::::     :::::     :::::                         
3:::::     :::::     :::::     :::::     3                   
 :::::     :::::     :::::     :::::                         
      :::::     :::::     :::::     :::::                    
4     :::::     :::::  _  :::::     :::::4                   
      :::::     :::::_(#)_:::::     :::::                    
 :::::     :::::     :::::     :::::                         
5:::::     :::::     :::::     :::::     5                   
 :::::     :::::     :::::     :::::                         
      :::::     :::::     :::::     :::::                    
6     :::::     :::::     :::::     :::::6                   
      :::::     :::::     :::::     :::::                    
 :::::     :::::     :::::     :::::                         
7  _    _    _    _    _    _    _    _  7                   
 _(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)__(_)_                    
                  +  \\^//                                   
8 III  ,o/  </>  [ ]  ( )  </>  ,o/  III 8                   
 _[_]__[_]__(_)_[___](___)_(_)__[_]__[_]_                    
   H    G    F    E    D    C    B    A                      

#3134: I CAN'T QUIT

Tue, 2008 Jan 22

topical

  I CAN'T QUIT Y--                        
                                          
               .-~*~--,.   .-.            
       .-~-. ./OOOOOOOOO\.'OOO`9~~-.      
     .`OOOOOO.OOM.OLSONOOOOO@@OOOOOO\     
    /OOOO@@@OO@@@OO@@@OOO@@@@@@@@OOOO`.   
    |OO@@@WWWW@@@@OOWWW@WWWW@@@@@@@OOOO). 
  .-'OO@@@@WW@@@W@WWWWWWWWOOWW@@@@@OOOOOO}
 /OOO@@O@@@@W@@@@@OOWWWWWOOWOO@@@OOO@@@OO|
lOOO@@@OO@@@WWWWWWW\OWWWO\WWWOOOOOO@@@O.' 
 \OOO@@@OOO@@@@@@OOW\     \WWWW@@@@@@@O'. 
  `,OO@@@OOOOOOOOOOWW\     \WWWW@@@@@@OOO)
   \,O@@@@@OOOOOOWWWWW\     \WW@@@@@OOOO.'
     `~c~8~@@@@WWW@@W\       \WOO|\UO-~'  
          (OWWWWWW@/\W\    ___\WO)        
            `~-~''     \   \WW=*'         
                      __\   \             
                      \      \            
                       \    __\    	KERPOW
                        \  \              
                         \ \              
                          \ \             
                           \\             
                            \\            
                             \            
                              \           
                                          
                                          
  HUHHHHHHHHHHHH (EXPIRES)                

#3136: THOMPSON '08

Thu, 2008 Jan 24

election 2008, law and order, topical

         ,,,,,                               
         \ e e\                              
         C  _\/    |\\,                      
          )\_)    \_ /     THOMPSON '08      
        _/|/_     _//                        
      ,'\ ~ /'-,_/  \                        
     /   \_/    /   /                        
    ,  |     \_._,-"                         
   (  <     _'                               
   |   \     \                               
   ', -',-~.-'                               
   _/  )     |                               
    |//   |  '                               
      '   )  |                               
      |   |  |             WHAT              
   ._.,   -  |.,_ //                         
_\-'  )___|__|_    '-._    OH                
b'ger  /____\__\                             
                           WATERSTON '08 THEN

#3148: RIGHTS REVOKED

Tue, 2008 Feb 5

election 2008, topical

      ___________                                                     
      \         /                                                     
       )_______(                                                      
       |"""""""|_.-._,.---------.,_.-._                               
       |       | | |               | | ''-.                           
       |       |_| |_             _| |_..-'                           
       |_______| '-' `'---------'` '-'                                
       )"""""""(                                                      
      /_________\   IN THE PRIMARIES LET'S VOTE FOR PEOPLE WHO'VE     
      `'-------'`    ALREADY CLEARLY DROPPED OUT SHOWING THAT WE'RE   
    .-------------.   NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT'S GOING ON AND
jgs/_______________\   THUS SHOULD HAVE OUR VOTING RIGHTS REVOKED     

#3158: NORTHERN ILLINOIS UNIVERSITY SHOOTING

Fri, 2008 Feb 15

gun free zones, topical

  .---.   .---.                                                
,';'   `.';'   `..                                             
f               :Bo.        SIX SHOT DEAD INCLUDING GUNMAN !!!!
`               d88:                                           
 `\           /d88P'                                           
   `\     ; /d888P'                                            
     `.  ',d8&8P'                                              
       : ;d8&7'         LET'S HEAR IT FOR GUN FREE ZONES       
        | :8:             BECAUSE CLEARLY THEY REALLY WORK     
           |  qx                                               

#3163: TO MRS. OBAMA

Wed, 2008 Feb 20

election 2008, please shut up*, topical

              __________                  __,___/  ",",       
       ___.--"          "\'.         ____/  l   \    ",'-,    
------f"               // \\\        \  (l\ \    \     \ \",  
      |                    |||       /   u       |      \ \ \ 
      |                    |||     _ )          /       | |  \
  ----L_-XXX-.             .|'    / U          <        | |  |
              "\   -<_____///     \           6 )       | |  |
                \___)     -"       '.       -.<"       / /   |
                                    |'.___  |       _._."   / 
  DEAR MRS. OBAMA                   |     ./     _."."   _."  
  PLEASE SHUT UP                   /      |"----"     _."     
  SIGNED, MR. OBAMA             jjs       \                   

#3164: TO MR. CLINTON

Thu, 2008 Feb 21

election 2008, please shut up*, topical

              __________                  __,___/  ",",       
       ___.--"          "\'.         ____/  l   \    ",'-,    
------f"               // \\\        \  (l\ \    \     \ \",  
      |                    |||       /   u       |      \ \ \ 
      |                    |||     _ )          /       | |  \
  ----L_-XXX-.             .|'    / U          <        | |  |
              "\   -<_____///     \           6 )       | |  |
                \___)     -"       '.       -.<"       / /   |
                                    |'.___  |       _._."   / 
  DEAR MR. CLINTON                  |     ./     _."."   _."  
  PLEASE SHUT UP                   /      |"