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#752: THE AIDS VIRUS

Sun, 2001 Jul 15

pornstar, vanessa del rio

         _-^-_                                 
      _-','\  ~=_       I'M THE AIDS VIRUS     
   _-' ,'   `.   `-_                           
 !`-_.;_______:.-':::   THEY CALL ME HIV       
 !   /\        /\::::                          
 |  /  \      /..\:::   JESUS CHRIST I GOT     
 ! /    \    /....\::   THAT JORDAN MCKNIGHT   
 !/      \  /......\:   BITCH GOOD HUH         
 :--.___..\/_.__.--;;                          
  `-_     `!;;;;;;;'    IN RETROSPECT VANESSA  
     `-_   !;;;''       DEL RIO WOULD HAVE BEEN
        `-.!'           A MUCH MORE APPROPRIATE
          (=)           TARGET                 
          (=)                                  
          (=)                                  
          (=)                                  
          (=)                                  
          (=)                                  
          (=)                                  
          (=)                                  
          (=)                                  
          (=)                                  
          (=)                                  
          (=)                                  
          (=)                                  
          (=)                                  
          <+>                                  
         '/V\`                                 
       ' /   \ `                               
     '  /     \  `                             
   '   /       \   `                           
,'    /         \    `.                        
\    |           |    /                        
 \   |           |   /                         
  \  |           |  /                          
   ` |           | '                           
     |           |                             
     `           '                             

#794: SEARCHING NEAR AND FAR

Sun, 2001 Aug 26

pornstar

  ,-.       _,---._ __  / \    NOW WHERE DID I PUT THAT   
 /  )    .-'       `./ /   \   OLD PENTHOUSE WITH JENNA   
(  (   ,'            `/    /|  PERSAUD                    
 \  `-"             \'\   / |                             
  `.              ,  \ \ /  |  FOR CHRIST'S SAKE THIS IS  
   /`.          ,'-`----Y   |  VENICE KONG                
  (            ;        |   '                             
  |  ,-.    ,-'         |  /   MARY MOTHER OF GOD I CAN'T 
  |  | (   |        hjw | /    KEEP NICE THINGS HERE CAN I
  )  |  \  `.___________|/                                
  `--'   `--'                                             

#1149: PSEUDONYMS

Fri, 2002 Aug 16

asia carrera, pornstar

          SERIOUSLY I'LL BET ASIA CARRERA
              ISN'T EVEN HER REAL NAME   
                                         
        _..._     /                      
      .'     '.  /    _                  
     /    .-""-\   _/ \                  
   .-|   /:.   |  |   |                  
   |  \  |:.   /.-'-./                   
   | .-'-;:__.'    =/                    
   .'=  *=|NASA _.='                     
  /   _.  |    ;                         
 ;-.-'|    \   |                         
/   | \    _\  _\                        
\__/'._;.  ==' ==\                       
         \    \   |                      
         /    /   /                      
         /-._/-._/                       
  jgs    \   `\  \                       
          `-._/._/                       

#1444: MASON MARCONI

Sat, 2003 Jun 7

pornstar

    .=~\                  /~=.                          
  ,'|-~'--__.        .__--'~-|`.                        
 /  | ''     \      /     '' |  \                       
+   C         |    |         )   +                      
    |      --'      '--      |                          
    |  l----`        '----|  |                          
    |    |              |    |        FREE MASON MARCONI
   /`----'\            /`----'\                         
  /        \          /        \                        
 'T~T'/\\ //\        /\\ //\'T~T'                       
  | \// \Y/  \      /  \Y/ \\/ |                        
  UJJ--------'      '--------UJJ                        
   |       |          |       |                         
   `---^---'          `---^---'                         
    | | | |            | | | |                          
    `===`===          ==='===' FRM                      

#1553: MIDORI

Wed, 2003 Sep 24

jody watley, midori, pornstar

                      .-''-.                           
                    .`   ::.'.                         
                   /  .:((((\\\                        
                 .' //((`  )))))   JODY WATLEY'S SISTER
                (  (/)':.__  _/    IS BLACK TOO (FYI)  
               /   /c(   -=\</^                        
              /   (/j)\  __.>)                         
             (/  :(r :.'.\_./                          
             /  .'/    `(`-'                           
            (   '( '``'  '.                            
            /    ))    '   `-.                         
           (  (  ( .    .     `-x                      
           (( ( (: \    |       )                      
            )|)) )\Y     \  `--<                       
             |  `( \\    |     |                       
             |    `||    :.    |                       
             `-._  | \     `-._|                       
                 `-/ :\_.      ``\                     
                  /    `'----..../                     
                 /  , .        |/                      
                /               \                      
               /                |                      
              J    .            |                      
              |    |            |                      
              |  _ _\__         /                      
              \      _\).       |                      
cjr           |       ||        |                      

#1617: THE PORN CLAM ON: JASMINE ST. CLAIRE

Thu, 2003 Nov 27

clam*, jasmin st. claire, pornstar

   JASMINE ST. CLAIRE SURE LIKES IT IN HER POOPER
                                                 
                        /                        
       _.--"":""--._   /                         
     .' .-'.' '.'-. '.                           
    / .' /   '   \ '. \                          
   ;-.__.--:__:--.__.--;                         
   ;-.__.--.__.--.__.--;                         
    \'. \  :  :  / .' /                          
     '.\ '. '. .' / .'                           
jgs    `'--.:.:.--'`                             

#1635: ON RECORD

Mon, 2003 Dec 15

pornstar

                CAN I JUST BE ON RECORD BY SAYING
                 LEXINGTON STEELE FRIGHTENS ME   
       _.._                                      
      /____\__       /                           
     $$-#-#$        /                            
     $$\_=/$   ____/                             
     $$J  L$_                                    
   .''$I`' I \                                   
  / /Y__\Y/__)\                                  
 / / \      /, ;                                 
: {   )    (/ /                                  
 \ \ /   .  \/                                   
  \ Y `.___.'Y                                   
   Y:   \_/  :                                   
    :    |   :                                   
     \   |  /                                    
      .  |  .                                    
      :  |  :                                    
      }  )  )                                    
      :  |  :                                    
      `, | ,'                                    
       ) | (                                     
       (_ \_\_  dp                               
         `"'"'                                   

#1664: BUSY BODY

Tue, 2004 Jan 13

pornstar

                 ,,                                        
     _  -.      /(                                         
      \,  \    /  \     /                                  
       )   \(`)  ,/   ,/                                   
       \-,_(("))//   /                                     
,___,   '.,[_V_]"  _/     I'M A BUSY BODY !!!!!!!!         
`  ,"'-;;=,' v `.;;/                                       
          |` | '|'       NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH HOLLY BODY
         ,|- | -|"-._                                      
        //| o|o |'"-.\                                     
       '/ `/,|,\'    |                                     
       |     "       |                                     
       |,           `(                                     
   ctr )              '.                                   
      /                                                    

#1715: DEE'S LAZY EYE

Thu, 2004 Mar 4

pornstar

_      `-._     `-.     `.   \      :      /   .'     .-'     _.-'      _
 `--._     `-._    `-.    `.  `.    :    .'  .'    .-'    _.-'     _.--' 
      `--._    `-._   `-.   `.  \   :   /  .'   .-'   _.-'    _.--'      
`--.__     `--._   `-._  `-.  `. `. : .' .'  .-'  _.-'   _.--'     __.--'
__    `--.__    `--._  `-._ `-. `. \:/ .' .-' _.-'  _.--'    __.--'    __
  `--..__   `--.__   `--._ `-._`-.`_=_'.-'_.-' _.--'   __.--'   __..--'  
--..__   `--..__  `--.__  `--._`-q(-_-)p-'_.--'  __.--'  __..--'   __..--
      ``--..__  `--..__ `--.__ `-'_) (_`-' __.--' __..--'  __..--''      
...___        ``--..__ `--..__`--/__/  \--'__..--' __..--''        ___...
      ```---...___    ``--..__`_(<_   _/)_'__..--''    ___...---'''      
```-----....._____```---...___(__\_\_|_/__)___...---'''_____.....---- mic
                                                                         
  I WONDER IF YOU HIT DEE IN THE HEAD HARD ENOUGH                        
     WOULD IT POP HER LAZY EYE BACK INTO PLACE ??????????????            

#1720: CHARLENE ASPEN

Tue, 2004 Mar 9

pornstar

W   &&&    CHARLENE ASPEN'S GOING TO GIVE HERSELF CONCUSSION
 \ % " %                                                    
  \  * %%                                                   
  (.)(.)%                                                   
    ).(  \                                                  
___( Y )__m___                                              
   //\\                                                     
  //   \\                                                   
 ccC   Ccc                                                  

#1798: HANDS UP

Wed, 2004 May 26

pornstar, understatement

       _.-._                                     
      | | | |_                                   
      | | | | |   HANDS UP WHO THINKS LATIN SPICE
      | | | | |   HAS KIND OF A BIG ASS          
    _ |  '-._ |                                  
    \`\`-.'-._;                                  
     \    '   |                                  
      \  .`  /                                   
jgs    |    |                                    

#1877: MERCURY ORBITZ

Fri, 2004 Aug 13

pornstar

                               ::: =,    ;     I'M GOING TO CHOOSE THE
                           ;;=;;===      M     PORN STAR NAME "MERCURY
              ,=YVRMBBMMR=,   :i=                ORBITZ" BECAUSE QUITE
            :iVRRMMMMMMBMMM :=;  ==;======         FRANKLY I'M NOT ALL
           =tYMMMMMMBBMMM;=Y ,::;==iMMMMMMMMMM             THAT BRIGHT
          ;tYVBBMMVMMMM =; .,,,::;;=YVBBMMMMMMMMM                     
          ;tYVVYRMMM;=ti ...,,,;::==iMVMMMMMMMMMMMM                   
          ,=tYRBM;;tVB, ....,  ,::;====YVBMMMMMMMMMM                  
      ..   ,=t =tYVRB, .....,,,,=:;:;;i=VYMMRMMMMMMMM                 
     ;;..  ,===iYVVRY .....,,,;,,,,,:;;==t=RBMMMMMMMMM                
   :;;:;=;,...       .......,,,,,,,,,:;;==Y=tYMMMMMMMM                
  ;.,:,.....         ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;==YYMRMMMMMM;               
  .......             .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;=YtVBMMMMM                
;t ...                .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;i=RiRMMMMM                
,=..                    .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;=iYBBMM                  
                         .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::;;;;tVB                   
        :VMM               .,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,::;;=                     
       ,;VBM                 .,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,::                       
       ,,==                      `,,,,,,,        WT                   
                                                                      
                                                                      

#1925: ANNA AMORE

Thu, 2004 Sep 30

pornstar

      .-.                  
     (/^\)     THAT'S AMORE
     (\ /)                 
     .-'-.     (ANNA AMORE)
    /(_I_)\                
    \\) (//                
     /   \                 
     \ | /                 
      \|/                  
      /|\                  
      \|/                  
jgs   /Y\                  

#2107: TAYLOR HAYES

Thu, 2005 Mar 31

pornstar

    ______                                                   
   ( _____ )                                                 
  / / - - \ \  WHY DOES TAYLOR HAYES SOUND LIKE SHE'S HUMMING
  | |-O-O-| |  A LITTLE TUNE WHEN SHE'S GETTING JIZZED ON    
  |(   ()  )|                                                
  | \ \_/ / |                                                
 /    ---    \                                               
(___)     (___)                                              

#2134: VIDEO STRIP POKER

Wed, 2005 Apr 27

german, pornstar

         .oo.                                                  
        HHHHHb.                                                
       /`HHHHHHb    JULIA CHANNEL ??!?!? CHECK                 
       > `dHHHHH                                               
      /  dHHHHHHb    IN A VIDEO STRIP POKER GAME !??!!?? CHECK 
      :  HHHHHHHH                                              
     .-""FHHHHHHH     WHERE SHE PLAYS REALLY BADLY ?!?!?! CHECK
     |   JHHHHHHH                                              
     J    FHHHHHHb                                             
    + \   JHHHHHHH     WAIT IN GERMAN ?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?     
  .'   \   FHHHHHH+_    FULL FUCKING STOP                      
  `. ;  \   \HHHHF "+                                          
    `|  _>   \HHF+_  \   FOLKS THE GERMAN LANGUAGE IS THE      
     F_+"   .'J   |  j    INSTANT ANTIBONER                    
    J+"   .': F   |  j                                         
  _+"  _+'  : +_  |  F                                         
 %" .-'       . =.F j                                          
|  ;I          \  =./                                          
|  (`-.......___+___L                                          
 ```='"""""==_  "_.--'                                         
     |        `./   J                                          
     |        +' .' |                                          
     F       J      |                                          
     F      JF      F                                          
    J       F| KroggF                                          

#2160: VANESSA DEL RIO

Mon, 2005 May 23

pornstar, vanessa del rio

           ,-"    `-,,-"                                        
       _,-'`,        '-,                                        
      '          `-'    `-,_                                    
    ,'                      \                                   
   /                         \                                  
  /       v-,       \     ,   I   WHOEVER IS RESPONSIBLE, PLEASE
 /      ,' ~l       Y     \   |   STOP POSTING NUDE PICTURES OF 
T      /\   \  o    I\     o  |   VANESSA DEL RIO               
|    `/ (_    `-,__,"| `,__,' |                                 
|     " ,( `         f    )   |   THANKS, LOVE, PLANET EARTH    
\     I'\ `\,        I    )   \                                 
 \     L             \    |    "                                
  `,   \    --\      T   [\     `                               
   ;    \             L  ^ \\   |                               
  / I    \           c-  )  |\  |                               
  | \   y I   --.    -   , -|(   \                              
  |  `\\I/      \   /  /     \ (  )                             
  |              I & \/       |,//                              
  \              \//         \`=                                
   \              )           \                                 
    \             I            |                                
     \            "            |                                
      \           |\           |                                
       \          , '_         I                                
        I         I  j      -  L                                
         \        T  I   ,'  \"                                 
         |        /  |   ,    /                                 
         |       | / `-  `- /                                   
         \      I /       /"                                    
          \      /|     _,"                                     
           \    |,"   ,"                                        
            (    \_   ".                                        
    n4bis    \     \,   `,                                      
              `'''L-\_Yl-'                                      

#2203: THE AYES HAVE IT

Tue, 2005 Jul 5

pornstar

          _                                            
      _  / |                                           
     / \ | | /\     THE AYES HAVE IT                   
      \ \| |/ /                                        
       \ Y | /___     P.S.: THERE WERE NO AYES         
     .-.) '. `__/                                      
    (.-.   / /          P.P.S.: THIS IS NOT A REFERENCE
        | ' |            TO EBONY AYES                 
        |___|                                          
       [_____]                                         
jgs    |     |                                         

#2210: W.W.C.J.D.

Tue, 2005 Jul 12

pornstar, wwjd

    __  __      __  __  __      __  __      __  __  __            
 __|\@\|\@\ ___|\@\|\@\|\@\____|\@\|\@\____|\@\|\@\|\@\__         
|\ \a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\a\@\ \        
| \ \a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\a\@\ \       
\  \ \|@|\|@|  \ \|@|\|@|\|@|  \ \|@|\|@|  \ \|@|\|@|\|@|  \      
 \  \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \     
  \  \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \    
   \  \___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\   
    \ |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   
      '---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'pjb
                                                                  
                     WHAT WOULD CHLOE JONES DO                    

#2219: POOR BIANCA TRUMP

Thu, 2005 Jul 21

pornstar

         ,        ,                                         
         \y ,--.y/                                          
         /,---. )\    BIANCA TRUMP SUCKED BLACK DICK SO SHE 
        / (((\\)\ \    COULDN'T ATTEND THE WHITE POWER RALLY
        \ \\-_/ / /                                         
         \ i   i /   POOR THING, LIFE IS SO UNFAIR          
          (_)=(_)                                           
           ) . (                                            
          /\---/\                                           
         /  )-(  \                                          
        /  /   \  \                                         
       / ,"     ". \                                        
      / /         \ \                                       
hjw  /-)           (-\                                      
    / ^!           !^ \                                     

#2344: ADELE STEPHENS' MOUSTACHE

Wed, 2005 Nov 23

pornstar

    .---.                                                  
   / /"\ \                                                 
   )/a a\(                                                 
  ( ( - ) )   COULD SOMEONE SHAVE ADELE STEPHENS' MOUSTACHE
   )_) (_(                                                 
  .'\   /'.                                                
 /,(_\ /_),\                                               
 \\ \ ^ / //                                               
  \\/   \//                                                
  (/-._.-\)                                                
   |  T  |                                                 
   |  |  |                                                 
   \  |  /                                                 
    \ | /                                                  
jgs  )|(                                                   
    / | \                                                  
    `-`-'                                                  

#2348: THE PORN CLAM ON: MR. MARCUS

Sun, 2005 Nov 27

clam*, pornstar

                  IT IS JUST ME OR DOES MR. MARCUS   
                  LOOK LIKE HE REALLY ENJOYS HIS WORK
                                                     
                        /                            
       _.--"":""--._   /                             
     .' .-'.' '.'-. '.                               
    / .' /   '   \ '. \                              
   ;-.__.--:__:--.__.--;                             
   ;-.__.--.__.--.__.--;                             
    \'. \  :  :  / .' /                              
     '.\ '. '. .' / .'                               
jgs    `'--.:.:.--'`                                 

#2386: JODY WATLEY'S SISTER

Wed, 2006 Jan 4

jody watley, midori, pornstar

            .                                
        ___/|'              _____            
   ____/_. .'              //'''/            
_ ~|,, @   }|            .'____(___        . 
\(====)   } >           '/.------'/   ___ /_\
   |^^_  }  \          / \--'._  (   / _ \// 
   |/  \ _   >       .'/\_-.. ''-.> ( (_) )' 
        (_)xx\  ____//\'. ''\'.  '___\_/ .'  
        (__)xx>/--/-\' '.\   ''\.' .___.'    
 <)=\   (__)x//_//  ||  _\\__ .'   )         
<)=+ '.  (_)_/ |/\__||_/  ' \'xxxxx '.       
 <)= . '._(_(  __   \/       \_ xxxx  \      
   |/ '.  _\| /   _/_/_/~~/~~~/'.___.  '.__  
   '    |/ /  _  )       ( /_ \      \_    \ 
          / // \/        '.  |/~       |RS|/~
      <)=/ //          <)=/ //      <)=/ //  
     <)=+  (          <)=+  (      <)=+      
      <)=.'\=(>  Rich  <)=.'\=(>    <)=.'\=(>
                                             
       I WONDER IF JODY WATLEY KNOWS WHAT    
          HER SISTER DOES FOR A LIVING       

#2427: SAKURA SENA

Tue, 2006 Feb 14

pornstar, understatement

                   .-""""-.                                         
                  /        \                                        
                 ) ` ____.-')                                       
                 ( _6    _ /     OKAY I DON'T MEAN TO ALARM ANYONE  
                 ( \      _|     HERE BUT IT OCCURS TO ME THAT      
                 ) /  -._/       SAKURA SENA'S BOOBS MAY NOT IN FACT
              _.--'    ( _       BE COMPLETELY NATURAL              
             /          , `-.                                       
            )          // ,  \                                      
        .   |   `  ___.L\ ,--.\                                     
        \`,--'"\.-'      '.-' )|                                    
         "'----._  __/)_,-.__. |                                    
        _ ,--L   "'  __.-'_/   )                                    
        \_/--\____.-' _.-'  _-+.--""".                              
      .==._-.__/.    /  _.-'         |                              
     /     `-.   `  _/ /     .`     /                               
     \  ,     `.   `--'    .'      /                                
      `-.       `+_='^`-_.'    __,'                                 
         `'-..__,-_`==-'   .-''                                     
a:f           .-''     _.-'\                                        
              '-..__.-' -.__)                                       

#2453: KIANNA

Sun, 2006 Mar 12

pornstar

     .-.    I'LL TELL YOU FOLKS                                            
    (/^\)                                                                  
    (\ /)   THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS GOD'S UNIVERSE WORSE THAN DOWNLOADING  
    .-'-.   A MOVIE LABELLED "KIANNA DIOR" ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT WHEN      
   /(_I_)\  YOU'RE ALL SET LOTION SMEARED LIGHTS TURNED DOWN AND           
   \\) (//  EVERYTHING THAT IT'S ACTUALLY KIANNA *BRADLEY*                 
    /   \                                                                  
    \ | /   IS THIS PATRICK STEWART OR TERA PATRICK ??!?!?!?!/             
     \|/                                                                   
     /|\    TRULY CAN ANYONE DISTINGUISH BETWEEN HOLLY BODY AND ROCKI ROADS
     \|/                                                                   
jgs  /Y\    BECAUSE THESE MORONS NAMING THESE FILES SURE FUCKING CAN'T     
            AND IT'S PUTTING MY BONER TO A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH          

#2464: MARC WALLICE

Thu, 2006 Mar 23

pornstar

     _\|/_                                                
      /--\                                                
      |[]|       IF MARC WALLICE WAS THE ZERO PATIENT DOES
    _] \/ [_      THAT MEAN I'M THE NEGATIVE ONE PATIENT  
   /_ `==' _\                                             
   \\|    |//                                             
    l\  __/j                                              
    `|-'##|                                               
     |#||#|                                               
     |#||#|                                               
    _|#||#|_                                              
   `=="  "==`                                             
as                                                        

#2482: CLASSY STAGE NAMES

Mon, 2006 Apr 10

pornstar

      .-.                                           
     (/^\)    YOU KNOW A CHICK IS REALLY CLASSY WHEN
     (\ /)    SHE USES THE STAGE NAME "CUNTESS"     
     .-'-.                                          
    /(_I_)\                                         
    \\) (//                                         
     /   \                                          
     \ | /                                          
      \|/                                           
      /|\                                           
      \|/                                           
jgs   /Y\                                           

#2557: MARC DAVIS

Sat, 2006 Jun 24

pornstar

         _                                                       
        /\) _                                                    
   _   / / (/\                                                   
  /\) ( Y)  \ \     COULD MARC DAVIS PLEASE FIX HIS WANG         
 / /   ""   (Y )      SO IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HE HAS BEEN PLAYING
( Y)  _      ""        WITH KNIVES AND RUBBER BANDS OR SOMETHING 
 ""  (/\       _                                                 
      \ \     /\)                                                
      (Y )   / /                                                 
       ""   ( Y)                                                 
             ""  Krogg                                           

#2561: PORN STAR FEELINGS

Wed, 2006 Jun 28

asia carrera, pornstar

    _                                                     
   / }    HUSBAND DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT HUH ?!?!?!?      
  /'.\                                                    
_/ ) (`-    DO PORN STARS REALLY HAVE FEELINGS OR ARE THEY
  ( ,)       JUST EMPTY RECEPTACLES FOR ANONYMOUS SPURT   
   |/                                                     
  /|                                                      
 '  `         Elb                                         

#2699: KIKO WU

Mon, 2006 Nov 13

pornstar

              _                                              
     . -  ' '   '  ' -.                                      
  . '       _,._       ' .                                   
,'        ;'    ";        ',                                 
|'         ',_ ,-'        .|    KIKO WU SURE DOES SEEM FOND  
| '.          '         .  |    OF PUTTING THINGS UP HER BUTT
|   ' ,             . '    |                                 
|   |   ' - . _ . -|       |                                 
|               '. |       |                                 
|   |             '.       |                                 
|                   '.     |                                 
|   |                .,    |                                 
|                    . ,   |                                 
|   |               .  '   |                                 
|                  .   '   |    WELL EVERYONE SHOULD DO WHAT 
|   |            .    '    |    THEY'RE GOOD AT I GUESS      
!.              '    '    .'                                 
  '.|           '   ,   .                                    
    ' ,        '   ,. '                                      
        ' - . ,  .-                                          
             ,  .                                            
            , .    :F_P:                                     
           , .                                               
           ,'                                                

#2716: INCONSOLABLE

Thu, 2006 Nov 30

inconsolable, pornstar, word

         ,        ,                                               
         \y ,--.y/                                                
         /,---. )\      WELP TERA PATRICK GOT A STUPID HAIR DYE   
        / (((\\)\ \      AND UGLY TATTOOS AND A FUCKED UP BOOB JOB
        \ \\-_/ / /                                               
         \ i   i /                                                
          (_)=(_)                                                 
           ) . (                                                  
          /\---/\                                                 
         /  )-(  \                                                
        /  /   \  \                                               
       / ,"     ". \     SHORT STORY: MY BONER IS INCONSOLABLE    
      / /         \ \                                             
hjw  /-)           (-\                                            
    / ^!           !^ \                                           

#2735: SUBTLE NAMES

Tue, 2006 Dec 19

pornstar, wishful thinking

      .-.                                     
     (/^\)                                    
     (\ /)                                    
     .-'-.     IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF BOOBS
    /(_I_)\                                   
    \\) (//                                   
     /   \     I'D BE ASHLEY JUGGS' BOOBS     
     \ | /                                    
      \|/                                     
      /|\                                     
      \|/                                     
jgs   /Y\                                     

#2763: INDIA

Tue, 2007 Jan 16

india, pornstar

            |\_ ==== _/|                                            
            /# \    /  #\                                           
      .=\   |/""\  /""\ |   /=.                                     
    _//""\_,H =# || #=  H,_/""\\_                                   
  ./     /#.|  .=()=.   | #\     \.                                 
./  #   =# |\x("(vv)")x/|  #=   #  \.                               
|| /==" #_/  \ \/xx\/ /  \_ #" ==\ ||                               
 )) """ /# # #\______/# # #\ """  ((                                
 \_\  =/# # # # # # # # # # \=   /_/                                
  """" # # # # # # # # # # # #""""                                  
    / W 3 W 3 W 3 W 3 W 3 W 3 W\                                    
    #W.W.W.3.W.3.W.3.W.3.W.3.W.#                                    
    # 3.3.3.3.W.3.3.3.W.3.3.3.3#      INDIA WORKS AT THE MOONLIGHT  
     \W3.3.W.3.3.W.W.3.3.W.3.W/       BUNNY RANCH ?!?!?!?!?!?!?     
      \======================/                                      
      |#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#|                                       
      |#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#|         (SOUND OF MICROPHONE DROPPING 
      |#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#|         TO FLOOR, FOOTSTEPS SCRAMBLING
      |#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#|         OUT OF HOUSE, DOOR SLAMMING)  
      |#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#|                                       
      |#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#|                                       
     .#######################.                                      
   _/*.*.*.*[@@@@@@@@].*.*.*.*\_                                    
  / * @@* *[@x ... x @] * *W@ * \                                   
 # * W@* *[@...x..x...@] * *@W * #                                  
 #**@W* * [@xxxx[]xxxx@]* * *W@**#                                  
 #**W@ * *[@...x..x...@] * * @W**#                                  
 # * @W * *[@ x....x @] * * W@ * #                                  
  ##  W@ * *[@@@@@@@@] * * @W  ##                                   
    \========================/                                      
     )[S@yaN] * [16.08.2002](                                       
     | | | | | |  | | | | | |                                       
      =====================                                         

#2839: AURORA JOLIE

Mon, 2007 Apr 2

aurora jolie, pornstar

 |   [  | v':    :              |        |_,;c                           
 | ]    |/; |,   |              |   [  ( __,/      DEAR AURORA JOLIE,    
 |    ,-'/  ;\ ,<  _',\.-._,;   |      ] |    n                          
 |   -' /   _;';    '=_'-' ,)  ,\        |   ,;    YOUR LINE ABOUT BEING 
 |  ]  / \,'__/--,_,-- 'mm'J -"_  ]       '-,+_    A VIRGIN ISN'T FOOLING
 |    /    / "''-.,;"---''--'"" \      ]   __  "-' ANYBODY               
;' [      / :    : _c           /         /  ",_,'                       
|      [ | v|  , '/             c c    \ |         ONCE YOU'VE PUT IT IN 
\    ]   |  \ /| :        __,-,v;|]   . \|         YOUR MOUTH AND ASS YOU
  [      /"--'/  |      (7_   c@  )    )/|         PRETTY MUCH LOSE ANY  
\     ]    ,-"'<':       '--,    (    /^ |         HIGH GROUND YOU MIGHT 
| ]       / :   '|           \ |  )      |         HAVE CLAIMED ACCORDING
| |   /  |  |    ;,-;,        \ ,)(     ]|         TO THE LAWS OF GOD AND
|  \^ |  |  :  |\ ,'           \ / \ [   |         MAN                   
|  ?  /  \_ |  /|:              | , \    |                               
|  | ('.   "--' |:,    ;        :\  ,\  [|                               
|  ;\~)   _     \_) ',_|   ,    | ),  \_ :                               
|   |/ [ /""-,_   '-'(    /.'   | \   |  '-_                             
| [      |  |  "---,__"'=';=,_  |  \ /|\    '"-,__                       
|     ]  |  :    |    ""'^.\    |   | |    \                             
|  [    ]|  |    :              | ]  \ \   /  _AsH                       

#2859: NAUGHTY AT HOME

Sun, 2007 Apr 22

desirae, pornstar

.--------------------                                                 
|                                                                     
|     ,-""-.        /)   DEAR DESIRAE OF NAUGHTY AT HOME:             
|    /  c/-}       //                                                 
|   ( ,--)T-.     //       NEVER BE SEEN OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOME         
|    `/ ,_) )\__,-/        EVER AGAIN BY ANY MEANS WHATSOEVER         
|    / /.   \'_,-"<                                                   
|   / /  ) _`).__          THANK YOU                                  
| _/,'  (    ""-."-.                                                  
|'-/   _/`-----. ),'       I WAS LOOKING FOR THE BIG-BOOBED SCORE     
|o!O '"-'"""----"          MODEL SO YOU FAILED ON EVERY POSSIBLE LEVEL

#2862: PASS IT ON

Wed, 2007 Apr 25

pornstar, understatement

 _____                   NADINE JANSEN HAS KIND OF BIG BOOBS
|__ " \____..---...-.                                       
   \__/ "-.,_..--...-'   PASS IT ON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1     
                                                            
sjw                                                         

#2894: PORN STAR NAMES

Sun, 2007 May 27

pornstar

          mm###########mmm                                              
       m####################m      OKAY ENOUGH WITH THE PORN STARS WITH 
     m#####`"#m m###"""'######m     THE NAME "SUMMERS"                  
    ######*"  "   "   "mm#######                                        
  m####"  ,             m"#######m    YOUR UNIVERSAL QUOTA IS OFFICIALLY
 m#### m*" ,'  ;     ,   "########m    EXCEEDED                         
 ####### m*   m  |#m  ;  m ########                                     
|######### mm#  |####  #m##########|   "CUMMINGS" IS ALSO OFFICIALLY    
 ###########|  |######m############    OFF-LIMITS                       
 "##########|  |##################"                                     
  "#########  |## /##############"   MESSAGE ENDS                       
    ########|  # |/ m###########                                        
     "#######      ###########"                                         
       """"""       """""""""                                           

#2905: PUT OUT OR GET OUT

Thu, 2007 Jun 7

pornstar

          ___                                    
          \\||                                   
         ,'_,-\                                  
         ;'____\                                 
         || =\=|                                 
         ||  - |                                 
     ,---'._--''-,,---------.--.----_,           
    / `-._- _--/,,|  ___,,--'--'._<              
   /-._,  `-.__;,,|'                             
  /   ;\      / , ;                              
 /  ,' | _ - ',/, ;   T JELENA JENSEN EITHER     
(  (   |     /, ,,;    PUT THE DICK IN YOUR MOUTH
 \  \  |     ',,/,;     OR GET OFF THE SET       
  \  \ |    /, / ,;                              
 (| ,^.|   / ,, ,/;                              
  `-'./ `-._,, ,/,;                              
       `-._ `-._,,;                              
  jrei |/,,`-._ `-.                              
       |, ,;, ,`-._\                             

#2911: PLUTO SYMBOL

Wed, 2007 Jun 13

pluto, pornstar

                ,-.__  ._                                         
                ;    `-' )                                        
               :        (                                         
               :         ;    WHY DOES SARA JAY HAVE A TATTOO     
               :       _;      OF THE SYMBOL FOR PLUTO ON HER BACK
             ,.:      '                                           
             `.       ;                                           
              :       :                                           
              `'..-o  :  _                                        
                 `,'  `.' \ ._ .^.                                
                 (,.   _\`.` .';_;                                
               .--._`-'_`\ `.;.                                   
               `.   ;  \;  ` L' _,_                               
             _   \_, /;   ._   '   '                              
            .`'      ` '  |.`. `.  :                              
          ,         <`.   ` `.'  > :                              
         ,;          ; `-.    .-.`._.                             
       ., :         :  _,'_ . :, `.                               
     ,',-'          :,' _' ';;  \ <                               
   ,','              ..;  /;; _ ;.'                               
 ,','                `.  : ;,' ;                                  
,-'                    `_;  `-' :`.                               
                             ,._;  \                              
                             ;      :                             
                     ,.  ,'`'      `-.                            
                    /  `'             ;                           
                   ; , ,: ,-.        '                            
                   ;, ` `'  ;      ,  ;                           
                  ,.       :      /` ,'                           
                _ `'       `.    .  `'                            
             ,               `.,. )  `                            
                                ;,                                

#2917: JANINE WHATEVER

Tue, 2007 Jun 19

pornstar

      _                                                                    
    , L\    JANINE LINDEMULD--LINDERMINDEN--LINDEBUMMER--                  
    \/OO\     WHAT THE HELL LADY NOBODY CARES WHAT YOUR LAST NAME IS       
      |/ \                                                                 
     /_\  `   QUITE FRANKLY I WAS ALREADY BORED OF YOU BEFORE I GOT THROUGH
AP  _\  |_     YOUR FIRST NAME                                             
                                                                           
            AND HEY LET'S FACE IT THAT FUCKED UP TATTOO ALL OVER BODY      
             TOTALLY DOESN'T MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE THE STUPID USELESS         
              USED-UP DISGUSTING JIZZ-COVERED WHORE THAT YOU CLEARLY ARE   
                                                                           
           I MEAN GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVORS                     

#2973: BECKY SUNSHINE

Tue, 2007 Aug 14

pornstar

       _                                                    
      / }       I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE NAME OF THE ASSHOLE
     /'.\       WHO KEEPS POSTING PICTURES OF BECKY SUNSHINE
   _/ ) (`-                                                 
     ( ,)                                                   
      |/                                                    
     /|                                                     
Elb '  `                                                    

#3069: DESIRAE NEAR HOME

Sun, 2007 Nov 18

desirae, pornstar

    _____                                                             
  /~/~   ~\                                                           
 | |       \     DESIRAE IN A SHALLOW GRAVE IN THE GROUND NEAR MY HOME
 \ \        \                                                         
  \ \        \                                                        
 --\ \       .\''                                                     
--==\ \     ,,i!!i,                                                   
    ''"'',,}{,,                                                       

#3122: UP IN THE WORLD

Thu, 2008 Jan 10

jasmin st. claire, pornstar

          ________________________                                 
        /'                        `\                               
       /  ,ssssssssssosssssssssss.  \                              
      /  dSSSSSSSSSS/|\SSSSSSSSSSSb  \                             
     /  dSSP'   p   / \   q    `?SSb  \                            
pb  /  dSSP    /V\       /V\     ?SSb  \                           
   /  dSSP     /"\       /"\      ?SSb  \                          
  /  dSSSssssssssssssssssssssssssssSSSb  \                         
 /  dSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSb  \                        
/                                          \                       
`-------------------------------------------'                      
                                                                   
   AMAZING HOW JASMIN ST. CLAIRE HAS FINALLY MOVED UP IN THE WORLD:
                                                                   
    FROM A THIRD-RATE PORN STAR (WITH EXTRA EMPHASIS ON ANAL)      
     TO A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER                                    
                                                                   
       WELL I'M NOT REALLY SURE THAT'S A MOVE UP ACTUALLY          
                                                                   
         AS IT'S PROBABLY ABOUT THE SAME EXCEPT WITH MORE ANAL     

#3152: ISIS NILE

Sat, 2008 Feb 9

pornstar

                                                            
        ,--.!,    HEY I BEAT OFF TO ISIS NILE IN THE MID-90S
     __/   -*-    SO THAT JUST PROVES I HARBOR NO PREJUDICE 
   ,d08b.  '|`    AGAINST MIDDLE EASTERNERS                 
   0088MM                                                   
   `9MMP'         THE BOMB-THROWING FUCKS THAT THEY ARE     
hjm                                                         

#3166: GIANNA MICHAELS' NEW HOME

Sat, 2008 Feb 23

gianna michaels, pornstar

         ,        ,                                             
         \y ,--.y/                                              
         /,---. )\                                              
        / (((\\)\ \    DO YOU THINK ANYONE WOULD TRULY NOTICE IF
        \ \\-_/ / /    I SORT OF KIDNAPPED GIANNA MICHAELS      
         \ i   i /     AND THEN SHOVED HER UP MY ASS            
          (_)=(_)                                               
           ) . (                                                
          /\---/\                                               
         /  )-(  \                                              
        /  /   \  \                                             
       / ,"     ". \     I NEED A NEW TENANT                    
      / /         \ \     (LAST ONE WAS RECENTLY EVACUATED)     
hjw  /-)           (-\                                          
    / ^!           !^ \                                         

#3190: BASEBALL BAT

Tue, 2008 Mar 18

pornstar

        HMMM WHAT'S BELLA_DONNA_-_BASEBALL_BAT.MPG ?????      
     _        ____                                       __   
    / \     .'    '.        ____......------""""""""`````  `\ 
   |   `::-/'-....-'\--""```                                 |
   |    :: |        |                                        |
   |   ,:'-\.-''''-./--..___                                / 
jgs \_/     '.____.'        ````````````"""""""------------'  
                                                              
                        (QUIETLY) OH                          

#3198: MIMI MIYAGI

Wed, 2008 Mar 26

pornstar

                                                      
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\                            
  \__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\    DEAR GOD,               
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\                            
  \__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\    I DON'T SEE             
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\    HOW MIMI MIYAGI         
  \__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\    COULD POSSIBLY HAVE LOST
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\    THE 2006                
  \__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\    NEVADA                  
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\    GUBERNATORIAL           
  \__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\    ELECTION                
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\    !?!?!?!?!?              
  \__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\                            
\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\_ \_\    SIGNED, ME              
  \__\ \__\ \__\ \__\_\__\                            
Krogg                                                 

#3244: LITTLE LUPE

Sun, 2008 May 11

pornstar

           ,="=-.                                          
     ,`'oo'      \o`.                                      
    (   .88 |^||^))  )    THAT LITTLE LUPE'S A REAL TROOPER
   , )   )  `@ (@'  (.                                     
  ( `  ,  `C   ' )   `)                                    
   `-='  ,/  ._c/ `-='                                     
      ,-( `-.,')-.                                         
gpyy     `(    )                                           
           `'   '`                                         

#3537: COINCIDENCE

Sat, 2009 Feb 28

pornstar

                 \\\ ,                                                      
                  \ `|                                                      
                   ) (   .-""-.                                             
                   | |  /_  {  '.                                           
                   | | (/ `\   } )      Q: WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A PORN    
                   | |  ^/ ^`}   {         STAR HAS PRECISELY THE SAME      
                   \  \ \=  ( {   )        BIRTHDAY (DATE AND YEAR) AS I DO?
                    \  \ '-, {   {{                                         
                     \  \_.'  ) }  )                                        
                      \.-'   (     (    A: IT MEANS SHE'S A FAT OLD PIECE   
                      /'-.'_. ) (  }       OF SHIT TOO, DUH                 
                      \_(    {   _/\                                        
                       ) '--' `-;\  \      WHAT A STUPID QUESTION           
                   _.-'       /  / /                                        
            <\/>_.'         .'  / /                                         
        <\/></\>/.  '      /<\// /                                          
        </\>  _ |\`- _ . -/|<// (                                           
     <\/>    - _- `  _.-'`_/- |  \                                          
     </\>        -  - -  -     \\\                                          
      }`<\/>                <\/>`{                                          
      { </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\> }                                          
      }      </\> </\> </\>      {                                          
   <\/>.                         <\/>                                       
   </\>                          </\>                                       
    {`<\/>                     <\/>`}                                       
    } </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\> {                                       
    {      </\> </\> </\> </\>      }                                       
    }                               }                                       
    {           H A P P Y           {                                       
 <\/>        B I R T H D A Y        <\/>                                    
 </\>                               </\>                                    
   `<\/>                          <\/>'                                     
jgs </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\>                                      
         </\> </\> </\> </\> </\>                                           

#3684: QREAGHTIVE

Sat, 2009 Jul 25

pornstar

   .(0,-.0)._                    AND THE ABSOLUTELY MOST RETARDED PORNSTAR
  (------,   ` -. _              NAME OF ALL TIME AWARD GOES TO ......... 
    \.____/         \._                                                   
     / /  /  __          \_._    "QREAGHTIVE"                             
   / /   / ./  \_____./'\._  <                                            
/\/\    /\/\    \  /       \/'                                            
                 \ \_            (CURIOUSLY ENOUGH NO THAT IS NOT A TYPO) 
               ./\/\/'                                                    

#3704: VANESSA LANE

Fri, 2009 Aug 14

pornstar

           ,="=-.                                
     ,`'oo'      \o`.                            
    (   .88 |^||^))  )     MORE LIKE VANESSA LAME
   , )   )  `@ (@'  (.                           
  ( `  ,  `C   ' )   `)                          
   `-='  ,/  ._c/ `-='                           
      ,-( `-.,')-.                               
gpyy     `(    )                                 
           `'   '`                               

#3725: MONIQUE ALEXANDER

Fri, 2009 Sep 4

pornstar

     ,%/7\\`                                                          
    (/// .\\)                                                         
   (((( -  )))     CHECKING PERIODICALLY TO SEE IF                    
   ((|)_*_/(((     MONIQUE ALEXANDER IS NO LONGER BORING              
   ))(/) (\((|)                                                       
  ((((\___/))(\                                                       
 / ,-)     (-. \                                                      
( ( ( _   _ ) ) )                                                     
 \ \ )^ ^ ^( / /                                                      
  ) y       y (                                                       
  \(         )/                                                       
    \_______/                                                         
     \ /   /                                                          
      y   /                                                           
     (   '                                                            
      \  \                                                            
       \  y-._     NOPE, GOPHER GOES BACK IN THE HOLE FOR ANOTHER YEAR
  hjw  |\,' X-'                                                       
     _,T-)  /                                                         
    (__,-%_/                                                          

#3728: SO LOOK OUT

Mon, 2009 Sep 7

pornstar

     OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO      PRETTY SURE THAT IF YOU HAVE THE SAME   
   _P_                     _9_     BIRTHDAY AS A PORNSTAR THEN YOU OWN HER
 //---\\      ( )        //---\\                                          
((     ))      T        ((     ))                                         
 \\___//       |         \\___//                                          
  '---'        |E     dwb '---'   SO LOOK OUT LANA SANDS AND LINDA FRIDAY 

#3811: POOR CARMELLA

Sun, 2009 Nov 29

pornstar

     _                                                 
   , L\                                                
   \/OO\     MORE LIKE CARMELLA BORING AM I RIGHT FOLKS
     |/ \                                              
    /_\  `                                             
AP _\  |_                                              

#3825: KOREANS

Sun, 2009 Dec 13

korean, lucy lee, pornstar

.                                                                 
 `"SSSSSSSSs.   `"Ss.   `"Ss.   KOREANS ARE BANGABLE IF YOU       
      .s   S'     ss'     ss'   DUMP ENOUGH SOY SAUCE ON THEM     
      SS          ssssssssss                                      
`$SSSSSSSSSSSs.   ss      ss                                      
  .oOOOOOOo.      "SssssssS'                                      
 .O'      `O.  `$SSSSSSSSSSSSs.                                   
 o;        ;o        `SS        WELL EXCEPT FOR LUCY LEE OBVIOUSLY
 `o        o'         S'                                          
  `OooooooO'          '         NOTHING CAN FIX HER               

#3850: LONDON KEYS

Thu, 2010 Jan 7

pornstar

        ..                                                         
       "$ber    LONDON KEYS IS GOING DOWN / GOING DOWN / GOING DOWN
       =3$$c.                                                      
 czd$$%   *$$c.                                                    
.e$$$P  -ee$$$$..                                                  
"""     ^"*$$$$$C                                                  
        "" "      *.Gilo94'                                        

#3851: EUROPEAN PORN STARS

Fri, 2010 Jan 8

pornstar

                                                                               
         -.            .      .-.                                              
              '       /      / ./                                              
       _  __,     .--'      / <                                                
      ~_-~ /     <         <   \_ .-~7                                         
    _. \   >      \.-'\     >`   ~ .-~                                         
   <  ><  /         ,  7   <      ~7                                           
   /_/  ! \       .-L  \  _//   <'~                                            
   ~  .-~  !      ! /o& `' .     7                                             
      _>_._ >  _.-' '-._.-._.--./                                              
     '-~   ~._/                                                .'              
       ,-.-'                                                .-~<               
      <                                                  __/    > -'           
       \                                               -~ ___--/               
        7                                ..   .       /_//     \__             
        !       _.-.     ..             <  ~v~       '            \            
 .-~---'   .-.-~    ~\  <  \            /            |          __/            
 )         >      o  <   >  \           \_.--._      |O        |    .__,--_    
/       .-'      <>   \  \   7       .  '            )        / d  . _>   /.   
7       > . - '        > _\  !   _,-' `.             \       /.._  .)    <     
~--,.--'           ._ /.- ~` <   \ .   \              `     |<   \  `-.__/     
                   7/ ~       \.,< .  ` `-~-.-~       |    /  \__//.--...<|    
                                 __  . `              '-.__\\  - ' '--~|/   PWH
                                                                               
     DEAR LATEST ROUND OF PORN STARLETS FLOODING OUT OF EASTERN EUROPE,        
                                                                               
     I APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORTS BUT I HONESTLY CANNOT FUCKING TELL ANY          
     OF YOU APART ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR GENERIC FUCKING CHOICE OF NAMES         
                                                                               
     YOU COULD LEARN A LOT FROM A MATURE PORN INDUSTRY WITH GOOD,              
     WHOLESOME, DISTINCTIVE PORN STAR NAMES SUCH AS "CUNTESS," "TEASURE        
     CUNT," "ASIA," "STUPID FUCKING WHORE THAT WOULDN'T GIVE ME THE TIME       
     OF DAY IF I BUMPED INTO HER ON THE STREET SO THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO         
     STRANGLE THEM AND HIDE THEIR PARTS IN DIFFERENT TRASH CANS AROUND         
     THE CITY"                                                                 

#3858: LATINA ABUSE

Fri, 2010 Jan 15

pornstar

     _                                                                    
   , L\    POOR CASSANDRA CRUZ ON LATINA ABUSE                            
   \/OO\                                                                  
     |/ \    WHEN YOU ACTUALLY START CRYING AND THE SLIDER BAR OF THE PORN
    /_\  `    VIDEO IS ONLY AT 50% .....................                  
AP _\  |_                                                                 
                .......... SOMEONE'S GOT A CASE OF THE MONDAYS            

#3860: WHAT'S WORSE

Sun, 2010 Jan 17

gianna michaels, haiti, pornstar, topical

                                                         ,-,               
                                                       ,',' `,             
                                                     ,' , ,','             
                                                   ,' ,'  ,'               
                                                 ,' ,', ,'                 
                                               ,'  , ,,'                   
                                             ,' ,', ,'                     
                                           ,' , , ,'                       
                                       __,',___','                         
                    __,,,,,,,------""""_    __,-"""""_`=--                 
     _..---.____.--'''''''''''_,---'  _; --'  ___,-'___                    
   ,':::::,--.::'''''' ''''''' ___,--'   __,-';    __,-"""                 
  ;:::::,'   |::'' '''' '===)-' __; _,--'    ;---''                        
 |:: @,'    ;:;\ ''''==== =),--'_,-'   ` )) ;                              
 `:::'    _;:/  `._=== ===)_,-,-' `  )  `  ;      I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WORSE
  | ;--.;:::; `    `-._=_)_.-'   `  `  )  /`-._                            
  '        `-:.  `         `    `  ) )  ,'`-.. \  THE EARTHQUAKE IN HAITI  
              `:_ `    `        )    _,'     | :                           
                 `-._    `  _--  _,-'        | :  OR GIANNA MICHAELS'      
                     `----..\  \'            | |  RETIREMENT               
                            _\  \            | :                           
 _____  jrei           _,--'__,-'            : :      _______              
()___ '-------.....__,'_ --'___________ _,--'--\\-''''  _____              
     `-------.....______\\______ _________,--._-'---''''                   
                     `=='                                                  

#3863: MEDICAL FUND

Wed, 2010 Jan 20

aurora jolie, haiti, pornstar, topical

        .----.                                                         
       ===(_)==    FORGET ABOUT HAITI                                  
      // 6  6 \\                                                       
      (    7   )                                                       
       \ '--' /     WHAT ABOUT A MEDICAL FUND FOR AURORA JOLIE'S       
        \_ ._/       NEWLY-ANOUNCED HEART CONDITION                    
       __)  (__                                                        
    /"`/`\`V/`\`\                                                      
   /   \  `Y _/_ \                                                     
  / [DR]\_ |/ / /\                                                     
  |     ( \/ / / /                                                     
   \  \  \      /                                                      
    \  `-/`  _.`                                                       
jgs  `=. `=./      OKAY I KNOW WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT PORNSTARS
        `"`                                                            

#3866: GIANNA MICHAELS

Sat, 2010 Jan 23

gianna michaels, pornstar, word

  /\.-./~\                                                              
 (o//o)|  \-._         .-"-.         DEAR GIANNA MICHAELS,              
 .~.'~ |  |    )`-----'     \._                                         
(").'/.|  |          (      /-.\       I CAN PUT ASIDE YOUR RAT FACE BUT
 (_/-' \_/    |       \    |   \\      PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH AS I DO NOT  
        \ /  /   ____.-\  /     ))     LIKE THE SOUND OF BARKING        
        /\| /_.-'      \\ \    ((                                       
       // ||            \\ \    \|   GARKING HOWEVER ?!??!?!?!?!?!      
       \\ ||'           // \\                                           
       (/ ||          _//   \\         APPROVED (STAMP)                 
       " (_/         (_/   (_/MJP                                       
         "           "     "                                            

#3887: LUCY LEE'S SENTENCE

Sat, 2010 Feb 13

lucy lee, pornstar

     \                  ###########                  /              
      \                  #########                  /               
       \                                           /                
        \                                         /                 
         \                                       /                  
          \                                     /                   
           \                                   /                    
            \_________________________________/                     
            |                                 |                     
            |                                 |                     
            |                                 |                     
            |            _________            |                     
            |           |         |           |                     
            |           |   ___   |           |                     
            |           I  |___|  |           |                     
            |           |         |           |                     
            |           |         |           |                     
            |           |        _|           |                     
            |           |       |#|           |  ;,                 
    -- ___  |           |         |           |   ;'                
    H*/   ` |           |         |      _____|    .,`              
    */     )|           I         |     \_____\     ;'              
    /___.,';|           |         |     \\     \     ."`            
    |     ; |___________|_________|______\\     \      ;:           
    | ._,'  /                             \\     \      .           
    |,'    /                               \\     \                 
    ||    /                                 \\_____\                
    ||   /                                   \_____|                
    ||  /              ___________                \                 
    || /              / =====o    |                \                
    ||/              /  |   /-\   |                 \               
    //              /   |         |                  \              
   //              /    |   ____  |______             \             
  //              /    (O) |    | |      \             \            
 //              /         |____| |  0    \             \           
//              /          o----  |________\             \          
/              /                  |     |  |              \         
              /                   |        |               \        
             /                    |        |             leb        
            /                     |        |                        
                                                                    
LUCY LEE WAS PUT IN JAIL BECAUSE SHE'S JUST NOT A VERY GOOD PORNSTAR

#3900: AHRYAN ASTYN

Fri, 2010 Feb 26

nazi, pornstar

                   DEAR AHRYAN ASTYN,      
                                           
                   YOUR NAME MAKES ME LAUGH
                                           
                   LOVE, HITLER, XOXO      
                                           
               ___   /                     
              / (`\\   ,                   
              c` 9\9  .  '                 
         ___.-| -_"/                       
        /\===\|_/===\                      
       /`< __ >/ __|,\                     
b'ger ( - | '|/o| '|- \                    

#4029: FIRST AND MIDDLE NAMES

Mon, 2010 Jul 5

pornstar

     _                                                                   
   , L\     IS IT LEGAL TO BEAT OFF TO A PORNSTAR WHOSE STAGE NAME       
   \/OO\    CONSISTS OF THE FIRST AND MIDDLE NAMES OF YOUR MOTHER ????   
     |/ \                                                                
    /_\  `                                                               
AP _\  |_   SPECIFICALLY IN MY CASE OF COURSE I'M REFERRING TO KODY KOXXX

#4606: RICHELLE RYAN

Thu, 2012 Feb 2

pornstar

                 I WONDER IF RICHELLE RYAN REGRETS                    
            GETTING THAT "HEART BREAKER" TATTOO ON HER ASS            
                                                                      
                                                                      
                                                                      
                                                                      
                                                                      
                                                                      
            reICareI                           reICareIC              
         ICareICareICar                     ICareICareICare           
       reICareICareICareI                 reICareICareICareIC         
     CareICareICareICareICa             reICareICareICareICareI       
    ICarICareICareICareICareI          ICareICareICareICareICareI     
  ICarICareICareICareICareICare      CareICareICareICareICareICare    
 ICareICareICareICareICareICareI    CareICareICareICareICareICareICa  
ICaICareICareICareICareICareICareI ICareICareICareICareICareICareICar 
eICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICar
 ICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICar
  ICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareIc 
   eICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICa   
    ICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareI     
      reICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICare       
        ICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICa         
          reICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareIc           
            ICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICareICare             
              reICareICareICareIICareICareICareICareIca               
                ICareICareICareICareICareICareICarICa                 
                   reICareICareICareICareICarICare                    
                      areICareICareICareICareICa                      
                         ICareICareICareICare                         
                           areICareICareICa                           
                             eICareICareI   -Grim                     
                               CareICar                               
                                 reIC                                 
                                  eI                                  

#4944: VANITY

Sat, 2013 Jan 5

pornstar

       _     _______     _                                              
      /_\   /       \   /_\                                             
      =|=  / //      \  =|=                                             
          |           |                                                 
          |           |                                                 
       (   \  //     /   o       HEY THIS ISN'T A TERRIBLY UGLY PORNSTAR
    __[_]___\_______/___(_)__                                           
   (_________________________)   OH GOD JESUS CHRIST IT'S A SHEMALE HELP
    | ___  _|___~___|_  ___ |                                           
    ||_~_|| .-------. ||_~_||                                           
    | ___ | \       / | ___ |                                           
    ||_~_|| (\_____/) ||_~_||                                           
____| ___ |__|=====|__| ___ |____                                       
    |/   \|  ||   ||  |/   \|lc                                         
             |     |                                                    

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TOYS
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  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Sat, 2018 Sep 15)
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