_    ____   ____ ___ ___      _         _     _____          _       
   / \  / ___| / ___|_ _|_ _|    / \   _ __| |_  |  ___|_ _ _ __| |_ ___ 
  / _ \ \___ \| |    | | | |    / _ \ | '__| __| | |_ / _` | '__| __/ __|
 / ___ \ ___) | |___ | | | |   / ___ \| |  | |_  |  _| (_| | |  | |_\__ \
/_/   \_\____/ \____|___|___| /_/   \_\_|   \__| |_|  \__,_|_|   \__|___/

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#596: RAPE RAYS Fri, 2001 Feb 9 best of, rape rays* / / .' / .' / ______. .' / / __/_// ' OWOWOWOWOOWOWW / / / @"@ OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW / \ G ' >' OWOWOWOWOWOWOWO _.-' / \/. C ' OWOWOWOWOW _.-' / .---\ / --. _.-' / / \( \ _.-' HOLY GOD / / \ \ (. ) ' THE RAPE RAYS / / /\ \ / / \ | \ \ __..--'' / .' \_\ ) )\\ __..--'' / .' ) \ | / \ -'' / .' _ '///` ( /\ \ /.' _.-' __ / ) ) ) '.-'..--'' / ,' / / .__---------- /__./ / / --------------------a:f ``--.. __// / ) / ejm / _J) /)`-\ `-__/-' ` \\ |( `\ \ -..__ `--' ``--..__ ``-- #645: WORST BLOWJOB EVER Fri, 2001 Mar 30 best of ^`. THIS IS THE ^_ \ \ WORST BLOWJOB EVER \ \ { \ { \ / `~~~--__ / { \___----~~' `~~-_ ______ _____ \ /// a `~._(_||___)________/___ / /~~~~-, ,__. , /// __,,,,) o ______/ \ \/ \/ `~~~; ,---~~-_`~= \ \------o-' \ / / / / '._.' \ _/_/ GLUG ';|\ DB #651: NO RAPE Thu, 2001 Apr 5 best of .-"-. .-"-. .-"-. .-"-. _/_-.-_\_ _/.-.-.\_ _/.-.-.\_ _/.-.-.\_ / __} {__ \ /|( o o )|\ ( ( o o ) ) ( ( o o ) ) / // " \\ \ | // " \\ | |/ " \| |/ " \| / / \'---'/ \ \ / / \'---'/ \ \ \'/^\'/ \ .O. / \ \_/`"""`\_/ / \ \_/`"""`\_/ / /`\ /`\ /`"""`\ \ / \ / / /|\ \ / \ NO EYE RAPE NO EAR RAPE NO MOUTH RAPE OKAY MOUTH RAPE #703: ZOMBIE Sun, 2001 May 27 best of, zombie* NUGGGGGH MUST TONGUE WANGS \ ..... C C / /< / ___ __________/_#__=o /(- /(\_\________ \ \ ) \ )_ \o \ /|\ /|\ |' | | _| /o __\ / ' | / / | /_/\______| ( _( < \ \ \ \ \ | \____\____\ ____\_\__\_\ /` /` o\ |___ |_______|.. . b'ger #710: ALL DEAD HERE Sun, 2001 Jun 3 best of ____________________ /\ \ / \ \ / \ ALL DEAD HERE \ / \___________________\ | | | | ___ | __ ___ | | | | | |__| |_| | | | | | | | | | | | ////////__________________| #846: A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE Wed, 2001 Oct 17 911, best of, special, tools* _ jgs ./ | _________________ / / / __________ //\_ /' / | (__________) ||.' `-.________________________ / / | __________ ||`._.-'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` / \ \__(__________)__\\/ | `\ | | ___________________ | |___________________...-------'''- - - =- - = - = `. /| | \- = = - -= - = - =- = - =| ( | | |= -= - = - = - = - =--= = - = =| \| |___________________/- = - -= =_- =_-=_- -=_=-=_=_= -| | | ```-------...___________________.' |________| \ / _ | | ,,,,,,, /=\ ,-' `-, /\___________ (\\\\\\\||=| | | \/~~~~~~~~~~~` ^^^^^^^ \=/ `--------' ` THIS HAMMER, SCREWDRIVER, NAIL, AND SCREW WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND THEIR HEARTFELT SORROW AT THE TRAGEDY THAT TOOK PLACE ON SEPTEMBER 11, 2001 WE WILL NEVER FORGET THE DAMAGE THAT WAS DONE TO THE PEOPLE OF THIS GREAT NATION ON THAT FATEFUL DAY WE ALL BOW OUR HEADS SILENTLY (EXCEPT FOR THE SCREWDRIVER WHO DOESN'T REALLY HAVE A HEAD) #1037: ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT Fri, 2002 Apr 26 best of FOR THIS PERFORMANCE TO HAVE A DEEP, LASTING EFFECT YOU SHOULD PLAY A RECORDING OF CAT STEVENS' "ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT" DURING YOUR VIEWING EXPERIENCE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION. STEP 1. OBTAIN A PIG. THIS ONE WILL DO: _____ ^..^ \9 (oo)_____/ WW WW Pig STEP 2. FIND A STURDY TOILET _ | | ___| | ( .' )__( Toilet STEP 3. SHOVE THE PIG INTO THE TOILET HEAD-FIRST. HE WILL NOT FIT. DO THE BEST YOU CAN. WE DO NOT HAVE A GRAPHIC FOR STEP THREE SO WE PRESENT A MOUSE INSTEAD: o..o (\/)S Mouse JUST IMAGINE THE PIG STUCK FACE-FIRST IN THE TOILET. THE MOUSE IS OF NO MATTER. STEP 4. FUCK THE PIG IN THE ASS. HIS SHARP TEETH, FIELD OF VISION AND ABILITY TO FIGHT BACK WILL BE RESTRAINED *AS LONG AS YOU HAVE STUFFED THE PIG PROPERLY INTO THE TOILET*. FUCK THAT PIG. YEAH, FUCK IT. JESUS CHRIST THE PIG DOESN'T LIKE THIS DEAL AT ALL AND THAT'S WHAT YOU GET OFF ON BABY. FUCK THAT LITTLE PIG. MMMMMM YEAH FINISHING MMMM PIG IN TOILET MMM STEP 5. EVENTUALLY THE PIG WILL DROWN, GET "FUCKED-OUT" AND COLLAPSE IN ON ITSELF OR OTHERWISE CEASE TO CONTINUE PERFORMING AS FUCKTOY. REPLACE WITH FRESH PIG. SEE STEP 1. #1077: A JERK STORY Wed, 2002 Jun 5 best of, word STEP 1. IT IS BEST TO HAVE SOME VISUAL TO JERK OFF TO. IN MY CASE, I USE PORNOGRAPHY. A DEAD ANIMAL SUCH AS A VOLE OR A RACCOON WILL ALSO WORK (THOUGH ONE SHOULD AVOID SKUNKS DUE TO THEIR LEAKINESS), BUT I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THE USAGE OF HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHY. YOUR NEARBY WALDENBOOKS OR STROUDS WILL CONTAIN VAST AMOUNTS OF THIS MATERIAL AVAILABLE SIMPLY FOR THE TAKING. FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS TUTORIAL WE WILL SHALL USE YOUR STANDARD LEG-SPREADING WHORE: \2 /\~/\ 6/ \\ )aa \\// \\(= // /\(`;' )/\ //\`\==/'/\\ _/! \____/ !\_ SC STEP 2. FIND SOMETHING TO BEAT OFF WITH. HERE AN ANIMAL CORPSE WILL ALSO SUFFICE, BUT WE FIND THAT A GOOD SET OF MITTS OR INDUSTRIAL GLOVES WILL WORK WELL. AVOID ANYTHING WITH ASBESTOS. BE SURE TO AVOID CUTTING YOUR OWN THROAT OR KILLING A SCHOOLBUS FULL OF NUNS WHILE PERFORMING THIS MANEUVER. ALSO AVOID HAMMERS AS THEY MAKE SMASHY SMASHY. ___ ___ /HHH\ /HHH\ |XXXXX| _ |XXXXX| |HHHHH|/H) (H\|HHHHH| \XXXXX/X/ \XXXXXXX/ ||||||' `|||||| RR STEP 3. NOW JERK IT. JERK IT YOU FUCKING WHORE. JERK IT LIKE YOU'RE A RUSSIAN PROSTITUTE WHO HAS TO REALLY WORK FOR EVERY RUBLE YOU EARN. AS WE LACK A GOOD FACE SPURTING ASCII ART WE WILL INSTEAD USE THIS HAPPY-GO-LUCKY ELEPHANT: _ ,--. ;c),. o}` `._,=, `. / , `. `/L`. )~ ejm /_/\_\ STEP 4. FINALLY, BLOW YOUR SWEET LOAD YOU DUMB BITCH. IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU PREPARE IN ADVANCE (STEP 0) BY CHOOSING AN ADEQUATE RECEPTACLE FOR YOUR SPURT, CALLED THE JERKNAP. THIS JERKNAP IS VITALLY IMPORTANT TO THE SUCCESS OF YOUR ENDEAVOR: IF YOU CHOOSE THE WRONG THEN YOUR SEED WILL BE WASTED FOR ALL TIME AND YOU WILL GO STRAIGHT TO HELL (THE BAD HELL, NOT THE ONE WITH THE PROSTITUTES). ANY GARMENT WILL SUFFICE, ALTHOUGH FEMININE FRILLY THINGS ARE HIGHLY RECOMMENDED IN ORDER TO HELP YOU FORGET THAT YOU'RE ALL ALONE. FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT WE WILL SHOW AN ASSORTMENT OF QUEER SHIT: ___ ___ /| |/|\| |\ /_| ' |.` |_\ | |. | | |. | |___|.__| RR =+=== / |. \ | |. | | |. | | |. | |_/_\___| RR ,==c==. |_/|\_| | '|` | | | | | | | |__|__| RR STEP 5. NOW THAT YOU'VE JERKED IT BUT GOOD, THE HAZE OF ENDORPHINS AND SLEEPY EYES WILL PREVENT THE CRUSHING PRESSURES OF DEPRESSION FROM KILLING YOURSELF FOR ANOTHER THREE TO SIX HOURS. BUY A FALAFEL OR SOMETHING. STEP 6. REPEAT. #1141: FOLLOW THE DOTTED LINE Thu, 2002 Aug 8 best of OKAY PEOPLE SERIOUSLY, FOLLOW THE DOTTED LINE: _ _ _ \ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ / / \ _ _ _ _ _ \ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ / / \ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ SUCK COCK #1184: BISEXUALS Fri, 2002 Sep 20 best of .... OKAY LET'S BREAK IT DOWN PEOPLE % ^ IF YOU'RE A GUY THERE IS NO SUCH L THING AS BISEXUAL "F3 $r $$$$.e$" . THERE IS ONLY STRAIGHT AND GAY "$$$$$" " .$$$$c / IF YOU WILLINGLY TOUCH A DICK THEN . $$$$$$$P YOU ARE GAY ."c $$$ .$c3b ..J$$$$$e IF YOU WILLINGLY LET A DICK TOUCH 4$$$$ .$$$$$$$$$$$$$$c YOU THEN YOU ARE GAY $$$$b .$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$r $$$. .$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ IF YOU SCORE ANYTHING OTHER THAN $$$c .$$$$$$$ "$$$$$$$$$r ZERO ON THE KINSEY SCALE: GAY $$$b .$$$$ $$$"^b $$$$$$$$$ *$$$ $$$$ $$P4$ $^$$$$ $$$ IF YOU EXPERIMENTED ONCE WHEN *$$$.$$$$ 4$b'$$$.3$$P *$$F YOU WERE YOUNG AND GOT MARRIED "$$$$$P 4$$e."$$$$$% $$$ TO A WOMAN AND HAD CHILDREN AND "$$$P $$$$b $$$$ *$$ LIVED A HAPPY PRODUCTIVE "" $$$$$$."$$$c $$F HETEROSEXUAL LIFE FOREVER $$$$$$$e $$$$.*$$ AFTER: STILL GAY .ee. $$$$$$$$$ *$$$$$ 4$$ ^b $$$$$$$$$ ^$$$$ YES WE KNOW THAT YOU DON'T LIKE $$$ ^c $$$$$$$$F "*$% TO BE CALLED GAY BUT YOU CHOSE 3$$c * $$$$*"""F THE DICK NOW YOU SLEEP WITH IT $$$$ cP" ^$$$$c .e" "BI" IS NOT DIFFERENT FROM GAY IT ^$$$$" IS JUST WHAT HOMOS CALL THEMSELVES JP" e" ' YOU CAN CALL YOURSELF A "STRIPED d$ %z. BASS" FOR ALL WE CARE FOLKS YOU'RE $$$ $$$c STILL FILTHY FAGGOTS AND YOU'RE z$$$$eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed$$$$e GOING TO HELL !!!! GOD ISN'T FOOLED $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" Gilo94' #1492: CHOKEY THE LITTLE RETARD Fri, 2003 Jul 25 best of , _,-""-._ THIS IS THE STORY OF ," ". CHOKEY THE LITTLE RETARD / ,-, ,"\ WHO, AS IT TURNS OUT, " / \ | o| COULDN'T \ `-o-" `-', `, _.--'`'--` `--`---' ,' ' ./ , `, / / \ (_)))_ _," _))))_, --------(_,-._)))------------------------------- #1542: THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP Sat, 2003 Sep 13 apollo, best of <> .-"""-. ||::::::========== /= \ ||::::::========== |- /~~~\ | ||::::::========== |=( '.' ) | ||================ \__\_=_/__/ ||================ {_______} ||================ /` * `'--._|| /= . [] . { > / /|ooo |`'--'|| THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN ( )\_______/ || \``\/ \ || SON OF A BITCH I'M DOWN A CRATER `-| == \_| || / | || |= >\ __/ || \ \ |- --| || \ __| \___/ || jgs _{__} _{__} || ( )( ) || ^^~ `""" `""" ~^^^~^^~~~^^^~^^^~^^^~^^~^ #1589: LET ALONE EAT IT Thu, 2003 Oct 30 best of ,;. .; `'-;.- ,;` `., SOMETIMES MY SHIT ._; ;` SMELLS SO BAD THAT `; ;` YOU DON'T WANT TO RUB ;_ .-.-,`; `; IT ALL OVER YOUR FACE ;`` ' o '`&` LET ALONE EAT IT ` o\ ; `. `_ ; * .~_.' * )__.-\ |\ ) .' \ | | `,. ,' `. `. | | `\ / `. | | ,' `\ ,' ,1 `.`. | | , `\ / / L `.| |,' ;_ `. \ \ \ `| |; ,' \ _) `. `)~\ |-| | `.-' ~-. `._./ ; | | | ,' | ( ,'`; |-| | \ _.--< `-.'_,' | | | `-( 7 ; ; `. | >-Y-') / ; | \ `-=p~ ,' ; : `. `|. / ; | `. `. || ,' / | ;. `. || / ,' ,' ' ;. `. || ,' / '| ';`-. `. || / ;|`-._.,'-.__.' `-. `|| ,' ,' P | q `-. ||. ,' ,-' ; ; ) `-|| `-. ,-' ,' ; ,^. d || `~-.`-. ,' ,-' `L d : p || `-.`. ,' ,-' ___| q__: b........||_ ~.\ ,' _,-' __,--~ | \ (_ \ | `~~--._ `\ / ,' _,--~ (_ | `\.__| ; `~-.._| / ,' ,-~ \ \ ` / ,' ,-~ kg `-._> | ; ,-~ |/_/ ` #1742: LIKE A TATTOO Wed, 2004 Mar 31 best of, tattoo . YOU KNOW WHAT'S COOLEST ABOUT TATTOOS ??????? b A ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING YOU RETARD IDIOTS $b Vb. '$b V$b. $$b V$$b. '$$b. V$$$$oooooooo. .. '$$P* V$$$$$""**$$$b. .o$$P WATCH ME BE ALL COUNTER- " .oooZ$$$$b..o$$$$$$$$$$$$C CULTURE AND REALLY COOL .$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$b. BY GETTING THIS TATTOO !!! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ .o$$$o$$$$$$$$P""*$$$$$$$$$P"""*$$$P .$$$**$$$$P"q$C "$$$b .$$P $$P "$$$b "$ . .$$$$$b. *" $$ $$$. "***$$$$$$$b. A. (ONE TATTOO OR PIERCING V$b . Z$$b. . "*$$$$$b$$: LATER ................) V$$. "*$$$b. b. "$$$$$ "$$b "*$. *b. "$$$b "$$b. "L "$$o. "*" .ooo.. "*$$o. "*$$o. .o$$$$$$$$b. "*$$b. "$$b. .$$$$$*" ""*. "*$$o. "$$$o. $$$$$' "$$o "$$$b. "$$$$ ...oo.. "$b. "$$$$b. "$$$$$$$P*""""" . "$$ "$$$$b "$$$$P" L."$. .$$$$$. $$$$ .. $$$; o$$$$$$ $$$$ NOW I'M TOTALLY UNIQUE . $.l "$$' .$$$$$$$P $$$P AND THERE'S NO ONE ELSE .I .$b b '. "P .P*""*$$$$; $$$ ON EARTH JUST LIKE ME .$P $$o ". ". . " ." $$$$ $$; BECAUSE I GOT TO CHOOSE .$$; $$$. "A "$. ". ' o$$$P .$P WHICH TATTOO I GOT AND .$$$b $$$$. *$. "$$$$o. .$$$$P $" WHERE ON MY BODY I GOT .$$$$$ $$$$$. "$$o."**$$$$o.' .o$$$$P" P IT !!!!!!! I'M ALL ABOUT $$P"$$b $$$$$$o "*$$$$boooooc$$$$$$$P" . INDIVIDUALISM AND I'M $$ $$$."$$$"*$$. "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$C .o" TOTALLY UNIQUE !!!!!!!!! I" $P"$."$$b. "*$. "**$$$$$*"*$$$$$$$" ' $ "$."$$$. ""' "*$$* $. "."$$$$o mls "I "$$$$b. . "$$$b."$o. "*$$."$$$o. EXCEPT FOR EVERY OTHER SHITHEAD "$$o $$$$b. BORN AFTER 1985 '$$o'$$$$$b. '$$.'$$$**$o '$$.$$$. '$$ AND IF I GET IT ON MY TITS OR TWAT $$; $$$o. "$. I CAN OFFICIALLY DO PORN !!!! "$: $$ "*o ". L $$ $P l '. $. .$$ $; ;$.$$P $ "$$$$ P' $$$;: $$P o$P $P I' ' #1788: HAMMER SYNDROME Sun, 2004 May 16 all you have, best of ________ ___,,,,,,, jgs [________>__________\ WHEN ALL YOU HAVE IS A KNIFE EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE AN OLD PERSON #1898: NOT THIRSTY Fri, 2004 Sep 3 best of .-'"""`-. ( ) |`-.___.-'| THE GUY WHO BEGS YOU TO PISS ON HIM |.-'"""`-.| WHILE IN THE BIG STALL IS NOT THIRSTY | | |`-.___.-'| | | |. ' " ` .| | | `-.___.-' VK #1901: WOLF IT DOWN LIKE A MAN Mon, 2004 Sep 6 best of ______ \ \. EVERYBODY POOPS BLOOD |`\_____\ |` | | DON'T BE A WUSS JUST REACH IN THERE | | | AND WOLF IT DOWN LIKE A MAN __-====-__ _| | | (~< >~> \ | | LOOK THERE'S ONE THING I'VE LEARNED !~~-====-~~/----`+----/ AND THAT'S ONCE YOUR FINGERPRINTS ARE \ \___ / ON IT YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO EAT >------\ \ < THE WHOLE THING <_________________> IN A WAY IT'S THE PERFECT CRIME #2037: WHAT TO DO IN THE EVENT OF A BIOLOGICAL ATTACK Thu, 2005 Jan 20 best of ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^) MY BONER GIVES / / ) CANCER TO ANGELS / / o )___ / / ___.) / / (-----( )-- ) / / (_) ) / / / ) / / / ) //// / ) / / ) ------------------------ #2093: OVER THIS Thu, 2005 Mar 17 best of .---------------. LOOK MISTER WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS AND |.-----------. | WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS || |()| || |oo| I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU BUT I CAN'T: I'M |'-----------' | A MICROWAVE AND I'VE GOT NO CUNT """"""""""""""" #2114: ANAL BACON Thu, 2005 Apr 7 best of, word . LISTEN CAREFULLY, THIS . . IS ALL I'M SAYING: _________________________ . . THIS STUFF IS NOT REGULAR BACON . . . . IT'S ANAL BACON . . <O> <O> SO YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WITH IT #2142: THE FUTURE Thu, 2005 May 5 best of, blog .---. / _\ BLOGGABLES ??? THE BLOGOSPHERE ??? BLOGOMATIC ??? / (={) SIMULBLOGCAST ??? ECOBLOGS ??? METABLOGS ??? BLOGS / /_/ OF BLOGS ??? MEDIABLOGS ??? CATABLOG ??? UBERBLOG ??? ( |(_ BLOGSERVATION ??? RADIOBLOGS ??? BLOGSPIRATION ??? /\_.--'// \ BLOGS OF BLOGS TALKING ABOUT BLOGGING BLOGS ??? /L.|`--'( \ , / /\_____`).J\____'==HH===HH \ \ \ ` | \__..--."' \ \._) ` \ ( YES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN \_/(`-..-'L ) THE FUTURE IS HERE / `\_( L\,--.' AND IT'S EVEN LAMER THAN > --'`-- \\ (_) YOU EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE | | \ Y |__/| \---'\ | | `. _) \ ; ) | )`)| | | Ojo | | | | | | |(o) |(o) / \ / | \(\_"> \(\_) #2181: FIRST THEY CAME FOR THE JEWS Mon, 2005 Jun 13 best of .--//-//-//------------/"\ / === === === j l \ === === === l j `--\\-\\-\\------------\_/ FIRST THEY CAME FOR THE JEWS AND I DID NOT SPEAK OUT BECAUSE WHAT ELSE IS NEW THEN THEY CAME FOR THE COMMUNISTS AND I DID NOT SPEAK OUT BECAUSE DUH, THEY DESERVED IT THEN THEY CAME FOR THE TRADE UNIONISTS AND I DID NOT SPEAK OUT BECAUSE I WAS BUSY WATCHING PORN THEN THEY CAME FOR ME WHICH WAS OKAY I SUPPOSE SINCE AT THAT POINT I WAS ALL ALONE, BORED, AND OUT OF NEW PORN #2226: ODE TO ____ Thu, 2005 Jul 28 best of, poem /-_-\ A POEM FOR MY DEAREST FROM MOI: / / \ / / \ O FEMALE FORM WHO I ADORE / PUT THIS IN YOUR CUNT \ \ / \__\__/ YES I KNOW / JUST IGNORE THE THORNS \\ -\\ ____ ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING / TO MAKE IT SMELL BETTER \\ / / ____ \\/___/ LADY DON'T SEND MOVEON.ORG YOUR MONEY OR \ \ -// PROTEST IN FRONT OF THE ABORTION CLINIC \___\//- JUST SPEND TEN MINUTES BUYING FLOWERS AND -// SHOVING THEM INTO YOUR CUNT \\ // WE TRIED USING WINDEX BUT THAT MADE THINGS //- WORSE -// // THE POLICE SAY IF I USE BLEACH AGAIN I GO BACK IN \\ \\ ALSO DON'T DO THIS WHILE DRIVING OKAY THANKS #2316: WIKIPEDIANS Wed, 2005 Oct 26 best of, wikipedia, word ( ) ( ) ( THIS STEAMING PILE OF SHIT IS MY TRIBUTE TO WIKIPEDIANS ) _ ) EVERYWHERE !!!!! KEEP UP THE HARD WORK MAKING UNRELIABLE, ( \_ FADDISH, NEEDLESSLY CONTROVERSIAL, NON-FACT-CHECKED TURDS _(_\ \)__ (____\___)) TO WIKIPEDIANS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR AS I CALL THEM WIKIPEDOS #2469: LEMONS Tue, 2006 Mar 28 best of (()))) ______ (()o))() IF LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS, .-'.-' |`-. (()) o(() HOLLOW THEM OUT AND FUCK THEM .-' .' \ | / `.(())) (()) _ .' /`. \ |/ .'((()__())) (_) . ; ` .\ |. ' /( )( )\ / _) ( |-------( )---/ /\ /\ / / _ `. ; . '/ |\ . \ \ ) ( \_/ (_) . \.' / | \ ` \ \ \ _ `-. `. / | \ .(_/_____\ (_) `-._`-.__|_.-' "\""\"/" """"" \ \ /\ \ _ / /| | (_) / / | | ( / |/ )/ ( \ " `.`. jro #2496: WWU93D Mon, 2006 Apr 24 911, best of, wwjd _,,--,,_ /` .`\ / ' _.-' \ | `'_{}_ | | /` `\ | \/ == == \/ /| (.)(.) |\ \| __)_ |/ |\/____\/| | ` ~~ ` | \ / jgs `.____.` WHAT WOULD UNITED 93 DO #2831: AND OTHER FAILED REVOLUTIONARY CRIES Sun, 2007 Mar 25 best of, blank __ / \--..____ \ \ \-----,,,.. \ \ \ \--,,.. \ \ \ \ ,' \ \ \ \ ``.. \ \ \ \-'' \ \ \__,,--''' \ \ \. \ \ ,/ POUR ACID ON OUR BALLS IF YOU MUST, BUT ___________ \ \__..- \ \ \ \ \ \ :F_P: \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ ...... AND OTHER FAILED REVOLUTIONARY CRIES \ \ #3260: SMILEY FACE Tue, 2008 May 27 best of ___ ,-'" "`-. FUCKING FUCK ALL OF YOU FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK ,'_ `. / / \ ,- \ I'M A SMILEY FACE BUT YOU DON'T OWN ME __ | \_0 --- | / | | | YOU DEMANDING FUCKERS I HAVE A LIFE TOO \ \ `--.______,-/ | ___) \ ,--"" ,/ | FUCKING GOD I HATE ALL OF YOU MAKING ME / _ \ \-_____,- / DO A LITTLE DANCE IN FRONT OF YOU SO YOU \__-/ \ | `. ,' CAN GET ON WITH OUR LIVES \___/ < '--------' \__/\ | Wny I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU \__//N I HATE YOU WITH A PURE HATE THAT EXISTS OUTSIDE OF TIME AND SPACE BEFORE MATTER, BEFORE ENERGY, BEFORE THE GODS THEMSELVES MY HATE WAS THERE SO FUCKING HAVE A FUCKING NICE FUCKING DAY (QUIET SOBBING)

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TOYS	pick a strip at random view the best of ASCII Art Farts get just the current strip in text format get the current strip and info in text format get all strips in fortune format get an RSS feed get an XML dump (gzip compressed)
FACTOIDS	number of strips: 3394 first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (9.3 years ago) number of upcoming strips in the queue: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth)
MORE STUFF	Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, xkcd
MORE ASCII ART	Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery