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#1903: STARGATE

Wed, 2004 Sep 8

newsgroup, poker

                                _______                                
                        _,.--==###\_/=###=-.._                         
                    ..-'     _.--\\_//---.    `-..                     
                 ./'    ,--''     \_/     `---.   `\.                  
               ./ \ .,-'      _,,......__      `-. / \.                
             /`. ./\'    _,.--'':_:'"`:'`-..._    /\. .'\              
            /  .'`./   ,-':":._.:":._.:"+._.:`:.  \.'`.  `.            
          ,'  //    .-''"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'`.     \   \           
         /   ,'    /'":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.`.    `.  \          
        /   /    ,'`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_\     \  \         
       ,\\ ;     /_.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":\     ://,        
       / \\     /'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'\    // \.       
      |//_ \   ':._.:":._.+":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._\  / _\\ \      
     /___../  /_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"'. \..__ |      
      |  |    '":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.|    |  |      
      |  |    |-:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`|    |  |      
      |  |    |":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.+":._.:":._.|    |  |      
      |  :    |_:'"`:_:'"`:_+'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`|    ; |       
      |   \   \.:._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._|    /  |       
       \   :   \:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'.'   ;  |        
        \  :    \._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":,'    ;  /        
        `.  \    \..--:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`-../    /  /         
         `__.`.'' _..+'._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":.`+._  `-,:__`          
      .-''    _ -' .'| _________________________ |`.`-.     `-.._      
_____'   _..-|| :.' .+/;;';`;`;;:`)+(':;;';',`\;\|. `,'|`-.      `_____
  MJP .-'   .'.'  :- ,'/,',','/ /./|\.\ \`,`,-,`.`. : `||-.`-._        
          .' ||.-' ,','/,' / / / + : + \ \ \ `,\ \ `.`-||  `.  `-.     
       .-'   |'  _','<', ,' / / // | \\ \ \ `, ,`.`. `. `.   `-.       
                                   :              - `. `.              
                                                                       
    OKAY SO I FLOPPED SPLIT TOP TWO PAIR WITH A STRAIGHT DRAW          
     MEANWHILE THERE WAS A POSSIBLE FLUSH SHOWING ON THE TURN          
      SO WORRIED ABOUT A CHECK-RAISE I BET FOR INFORMATION             
       ONLY TO FIND THAT ONE OPPONENT HAD FLOPPED SPLIT TOP AN         
        BOTTOM PAIR AND THE OTHER SIMPLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE           
         WAS DOING AND THAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IS HOW THE            
          SIT-AND-GO ONE-TABLE TOURNAMENT WAS WON                      
                                                                       
    OH FUCK WAIT THIS IS STARGATE                                      
                                                                       
    OKAY HOW ABOUT SOME COMMENT ABOUT HOW CONSTELLATIONS ARE NOT       
     A VALID WAY TO DESIGNATE A REAL POINT IN FOUR DIMENSIONAL         
      SPACETIME OR AT LEAST SOMETHING ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A HUNK         
       JAMES SPADER WAS                                                

#2271: ROUNDERS

Sun, 2005 Sep 11

poker

                              _____                       
                      _____  |K  WW|                      
              _____  |Q  ww| |   {)|                      
       _____ |J  ww| |   {(| |(v)%%| _____                
      |10 v ||   {)| |(v)%%| | v%%%||A_ _ |               
      |v v v||(v)% | | v%%%| |_%%%>||( v )|               
      |v v v|| v % | |_%%%O|        | \ / |               
      |v v v||__%%[|                |  .  |               
      |___0I|                       |____V|               
                                                          
  STUDIES SHOW 50% OF ONLINE POKER PLAYERS ARE APPARENTLY 
OBLIGATED TO USE NAMES AND AVATARS FROM THE MOVIE ROUNDERS

#2301: FLOPPED THE NUTS

Tue, 2005 Oct 11

poker

      _____                                               
     |\ ~ /|                                              
     |}}:{{|             SO WHEN I SAY I FLOPPED THE NUTS 
     |}}:{{|  _____       I SERIOUSLY WASN'T KIDDING FOLKS
     |}}:{{| |Joker|                                      
     |/_~_\| |==%, |                                      
             | \/>\|                                      
ejm98        | _>^^|           _____                      
   _____     |/_\/_|    _____ |6    |                     
  |2    | _____        |5    || ^ ^ |                     
  |  ^  ||3    | _____ | ^ ^ || ^ ^ | _____               
  |     || ^ ^ ||4    ||  ^  || ^ ^ ||7    |              
  |  ^  ||     || ^ ^ || ^ ^ ||____9|| ^ ^ | _____        
  |____Z||  ^  ||     ||____S|       |^ ^ ^||8    | _____ 
         |____E|| ^ ^ |              | ^ ^ ||^ ^ ^||9    |
                |____h|              |____L|| ^ ^ ||^ ^ ^|
                                            |^ ^ ^||^ ^ ^|
                                            |____8||^ ^ ^|
                                                   |____6|

#2422: MY POKER AVATAR

Thu, 2006 Feb 9

poker, star trek

              __                                               
        _..-''--'----_.                                        
      ,''.-''| .---/ _`-._                                     
    ,' \ \  ;| | ,/ / `-._`-.                                  
  ,' ,',\ \( | |// /,-._  / /                                  
  ;.`. `,\ \`| |/ / |   )/ /                                   
 / /`_`.\_\ \| /_.-.'-''/ /                                    
/ /_|_:.`. \ |;'`..')  / /                                     
`-._`-._`.`.;`.\  ,'  / /                                      
    `-._`.`/    ,'-._/ /                                       
      : `-/     \`-.._/                                        
      |  :      ;._ (                                          
      :  |      \  ` \                                         
       \         \   |                                         
        :        :   ;                                         
        |           /                                          
        ;         ,'                                           
       /         /                                             
      /         /                                              
               / SSt                                           
                                                               
  DUDE MY POKER PLAYING ICON THAT EVERYONE SEES WHEN I'M AT THE
  ONLINE SITES IS DATA WITH HIS VISOR WHILE PLAYING FIVE CARD  
  STUD WITH RIKER AND EVERYONE ELSE ON THE ENTERPRISE !!!!!!!! 
                                                               
  EPISODE 97375 STARDATE 207305.0                              
                                                               
  DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE TAPE                                  

#2452: CHRIS "JESUS" FERGUSON

Sat, 2006 Mar 11

poker

                   .------.                                      
.------.           |A .   |    WHENEVER CHRIS "JESUS" FERGUSON IS
|A_  _ |    .------; / \  |    GIVING HIS SERIOUS "I'M DEEP" LOOK
|( \/ )|-----. _   |(_,_) |    ALL I CAN THINK IS HOOOOOOMOOOOOO 
| \  / | /\  |( )  |  I  A|                                      
|  \/ A|/  \ |_x_) |------'                                      
`-----+'\  / | Y  A|                                             
      |  \/ A|-----'    hjw                                      
      `------'                                                   

#2573: POKER TOURNAMENT RESULTS

Mon, 2006 Jul 10

poker

;-.               ,                              
 \ '.           .'/                              
  \  \ .---. .-' /       I CAME IN THIRD !!!!!!!!
   '. '     `\_.'                                
     |(),()  |     ,                             
     (  __   /   .' \                            
    .''.___.'--,/\_,|    BUT I CAME FIRST        
   {  /     \   }   |                            
    '.\     /_.'    /                            
     |'-.-',  `; _.'                             
 jgs |  |  |   |`                                
     `""`""`"""`                                 

#2629: ALL-IN CHECK MARK

Mon, 2006 Sep 4

poker

          _                                                             
       ,-(_)                                                            
       )- '()                                                           
       \ / ()    EXCUSE ME BUT I'D LIKE THE DEGREE ALL-IN CHECK MARK PLZ
      _.'\()                                                            
     (( (_)`                                                            
       \ \\                                                             
        | \\                                                            
     ___]=((---                                                         
    ( |_/ )_|                                                           
     \ /_|                                                              
      \| /                                                              
     _/)\ )                                                             
  ___|   \|                                                             
__|      /) jg                                                          

#2648: DOGS PLAYING POKER

Sat, 2006 Sep 23

poker

       _=,_                                      
    o_/6 /#\    MY POKER ICON IS THAT PAINTING OF
    \__ |##/     DOGS PLAYING POKER !!!!!!!!!!!! 
     ='|--\                                      
       /   #'-.                                  
       \#|_   _'-. /                             
        |/ \_( # |"                              
snd    C/ ,--___/     GET IT ?!?!?!?!?!?         

#2656: CRUB FLUSH

Sun, 2006 Oct 1

poker

                             _____                      
 _____                _____ |6    |                     
|2    | _____        |5    || & & |                     
|  &  ||3    | _____ | & & || & & | _____               
|     || & & ||4    ||  &  || & & ||7    |              
|  &  ||     || & & || & & ||____9|| & & | _____        
|____Z||  &  ||     ||____S|       |& & &||8    | _____ 
       |____E|| & & |              | & & ||& & &||9    |
              |____h|              |____L|| & & ||& & &|
                          _____           |& & &||& & &|
                  _____  |K  WW|          |____8||& & &|
          _____  |Q  ww| | o {)|                 |____6|
   _____ |J  ww| | o {(| |o o%%| _____                  
  |10 & || o {)| |o o%%| | |%%%||A _  |                 
  |& & &||o o% | | |%%%| |_%%%>|| ( ) |   CRUB FRUSH    
  |& & &|| | % | |_%%%O|        |(_'_)|                 
  |& & &||__%%[|                |  |  |                 
  |___0I|                       |____V|                 

#2659: FOUR-COLOR DECK

Wed, 2006 Oct 4

poker

 ___   ___   ___   ___   ___                                         
|A  | |K  | |Q  | |J  | |10 |                                        
|(`)| |(`)| |(`)| |(`)| |(`)|    I'M A FOUR-COLOR DECK               
|_\_| |_\_| |_\_| |_\_| |_\_|                                        
 ___   ___   ___   ___   ___   ___                                   
|A  | |2  | |3  | |4  | |5  | |6  |                                  
| /\| | /\| | /\| | /\| | /\| | /\|                                  
|_\/| |_\/| |_\/| |_\/| |_\/| |_\/|                                  
 ___   ___   ___   ___   ___   ___   ___                             
|A  | |2  | |3  | |4  | |5  | |6  | |7  |                            
| ^ | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ |                            
|(,)| |(,)| |(,)| |(,)| |(,)| |(,)| |(,)|     ejm                    
 ___   ___   ___   ___                                               
|A  | |K  | |Q  | |J  |                                              
| O | | O | | O | | O |          NAIL ME RIGHT IN MY GODDAMN CORNHOLE
|O,O| |O,O| |O,O| |O,O|                                              

#2734: IN ALL DEFERENCE TO ICE CUBE

Mon, 2006 Dec 18

lyrics, poker

.------.                                              
|A_  _ |         I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO USE MY AK      
|( \/ ).-----.                                        
| \  /|K /\  |     I MUST SAY IT WAS A GOOD DAY       
|  \/ | /  \ |                                        
`-----| \  / |        (HE FOLDED TO BIG SLICK YOU SEE)
      |  \/ K|                                        
      `------' hjw+tQn                                

#2890: HIGH SOCIETY

Wed, 2007 May 23

poker

                                ______________________________________ 
                               |                                      |
                    _.---------|.--.   I'D LIKE TWO STACKS OF HIGH    |
                 .-'  `       .'/  ``   SOCIETY                       |
              .-'           .' |    /|                                |
           .-'         |   /   `.__//  I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS   |
        .-'           _.--/        /  BUT I HEARD IT SOMEWHERE        |
       |        _  .-'   /        /  AND IT SOUNDS REALLY COOL        |
       |     ._  \      /     `  /                                    |
       |        ` .    /     `  /                                     |
       |         \ \ '/        /                                      |
       |        - \  /        /|                                      |
       |        '  .'        / |                                      |
       |          '         |.'|                                      |
       |                    |  |                                      |
       |                    |  |______________________________________|
       |                    |.'                                        
       |                    /                                          
   VK  |                   /                                           
       |                  /                                            
       )                 /|                                            
    .A/`-.              / |                                            
   AMMMA. `-._         / /                                             
  AMMMMMMMMA. `-.     / /                                              
 AMMMMMMMMMMMMA. `.    /                                               
AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`. /                                                
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`.                                                
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`.                                              
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.                                              
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.                                            
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM                                            
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMV'                                            

#3128: HIGH STAKES POKER

Wed, 2008 Jan 16

poker

                                                                        
                   .------.                                             
.------.           |A .   |   OKAY WELL HIGH STAKES POKER IS DONE FOR   
|A_  _ |    .------; / \  |   THE SEASON SO THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR    
|( \/ )|-----. _   |(_,_) |   ME TO DO EXCEPT BEAT OFF AND PUNCH HOOKERS
| \  / | /\  |( )  |  I  A|                                             
|  \/ A|/  \ |_x_) |------'                                             
`-----+'\  / | Y  A|          (NOT IN THAT ORDER)                       
      |  \/ A|-----'                                                    
 hjw  `------'                                                          

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