_    ____   ____ ___ ___      _         _     _____          _       
   / \  / ___| / ___|_ _|_ _|    / \   _ __| |_  |  ___|_ _ _ __| |_ ___ 
  / _ \ \___ \| |    | | | |    / _ \ | '__| __| | |_ / _` | '__| __/ __|
 / ___ \ ___) | |___ | | | |   / ___ \| |  | |_  |  _| (_| | |  | |_\__ \
/_/   \_\____/ \____|___|___| /_/   \_\_|   \__| |_|  \__,_|_|   \__|___/

2010 (6) 24 (8) 911 (30) aaliyah (7) adventure (3) al franken (2) al gore (2) al qaeda (2) alice cooper (2) alien (4) aliens colonial marines (2) all you have (3) allegra (2) am i right (17) amazon (2) anal* (5) android (2) anger* (5) anime (18) anna nicole smith (3) annie ascii (6) answer bear* (3) apollo (11) apple (8) aquatic* (5) aria giovanni (4) asia carrera (2) asperger (19) atari (4) aurora jolie (2) australia (3) babylon 5 (3) bailout (4) battlefield (16) battlestar galactica (8) bbc (2) beatles (2) bejeweled (2) berserkers (2) best of (33) best part (12) beyonce (2) bible (2) bionic woman (2) blank (3) blog (52) bob marley (2) bobby brown (4) bolo santosi (2) boner* (3) bravo (8) brazil (4) bright (2) british (2) britney spears (3) brokeback mountain (2) bush (6) call of duty (7) calvin (2) camgirl (9) canada (12) carl sagan (2) cassini (3) census (2) chalkboard (2) chaps* (3) charlie sheen (2) cheers (2) christmas (15) clam* (3) cold war (4) communism (3) confessions* (13) conspiracy duck* (11) contact (2) cosby show (4) cosmos (3) counter-strike (3) creampie (3) critic (4) crucicaption (6) crysis (6) daylight savings (2) dean (32) defcon (3) derek smart (4) desirae (2) deus ex (3) diabetes (4) dickwolves (3) die hard (4) dilbert (6) disney (25) doctor who (3) dont hate me (2) doom (9) dot (2) douglas adams (2) down syndrome (4) dr. dre (2) dr. who (2) duke nukem (3) dune (4) eaten* (2) einstein (2) election 2004 (7) election 2008 (33) election 2010 (2) election 2012 (9) ellen degeneres (2) er (2) escher (2) esperanto (2) eve online (2) everybody loves raymond (3) facebook (9) family guy (3) far cry (2) fear (2) figlet (37) filk (2) flea* (5) flintstones (3) football (2) fred friendly (3) freespace (6) french (12) fresh air (2) friends (3) funyuns (2) garfield (5) geography (7) german (24) gianna michaels (4) gloria steinem (2) gnutella (2) god help me (2) google (5) grand theft auto (10) gun free zones (2) haiku (9) haiti (4) half-life (10) halloween (2) halo (4) ham (2) hamas (2) hangin with jesus* (5) harry potter (4) harvey milk (2) henry* (5) hershey* (3) hillary clinton (2) hippies (7) hitler (2) hulk (3) hurricane (7) ice cube (3) id software (2) ideograms (4) immigration (4) inconsolable (2) india (2) infocom (3) intelligent design (3) iphone (3) iran (5) iraq (17) isaac newton (3) islam (28) israel (3) james burke (2) jasmin st. claire (2) jave (8) jeopardy (3) jerkcity (2) jesus (19) jewish (2) jimmy carter (3) jody watley (2) john f. kennedy (5) john travolta (2) jon stewart (3) joseph kony (2) jupiter (2) just cause (3) kari byron (2) katamari (3) kelis (2) kilroy (2) kindle (4) kirara (3) kirstie alley (3) kiwi (3) korean (3) lady diana (2) lady gaga (2) latin (2) law and order (10) left 4 dead (3) left eye (4) linux (6) logo (16) lord of the rings (4) lost (2) lottery (2) lucy lee (2) lyrics (23) macintosh (6) marilyn manson (3) mariska hargitay (2) mash (5) mass effect (8) math (4) matrix (5) me neither (4) mel gibson (3) meme (5) memento (2) meta (2) michael jackson (9) michael moore (5) michelin (2) midori (2) milf (4) minecraft (4) minotaur* (2) monads (2) mormon (2) msnbc (2) muppets (4) myfreecams (6) mythbusters (2) nabis (2) napster (3) nasa (8) nazi (12) nerd boy (9) net neutrality (2) nethack (4) newsgroup (47) newsradio (2) niven (2) nobel prize (4) north korea (3) npr (4) obama (12) oceans thirteen (2) oj simpson (2) okcupid (2) olympics (3) onion (3) open source (10) original (56) orkut (2) osama bin laden (6) p2p (4) pac-man (6) pajamas media (4) panther (4) particle (2) patriot act (2) peanuts (15) pearl harbor (3) penn and teller (2) penny arcade (2) perl (2) perspective (6) petition (7) playstation (2) please shut up* (2) plonk (5) pluto (6) poem (4) pokemon (6) poker (13) polyamory (3) pooh (8) porn (46) pornstar (66) portal (7) powerpuff (2) proposal (2) python (2) quake (8) quebec (2) queer eye (3) r. kelly (3) rage (2) rape rays* (3) red bull (3) red dwarf (2) rent (2) richard stallman (2) rihanna (3) roger ebert (7) roman polanski (2) ron paul (4) russian (2) safe word (3) sanrio (4) sarah silverman (2) saturday night live (3) saving grace (2) science fact (3) scrubs (4) seaquest (2) second life (2) seinfeld (2) sesame (7) sesame street (3) shakespeare (3) shield (3) shitting* (3) shutdown (2) simple (20) simpsons (8) skeptic (3) skull (2) slashdot (4) smurfs (3) soccer (6) south park (4) space shuttle (5) special (2) spice girls (4) spongebob (2) spore (2) squirtle (2) star trek (35) star wars (20) starcraft (4) starship troopers (2) steve jobs (2) strike (2) super bowl (3) sweden (2) swine flu (3) tattoo (9) tax (6) ted (6) ted kennedy (3) tensor (3) terry gross (2) tetris (2) thanksgiving (3) they might be giants (2) third rock (2) tina fey (2) tlc (3) togos (2) tomb raider (4) tools* (2) topical (215) transsexual (2) transvestite (3) treo (3) trilogy* (2) true story (3) truther (2) tsunami (5) twitter (12) u2 (3) understatement (5) usenet (9) ussr (4) uwe boll (2) vanessa del rio (2) vectrex (2) vegan (2) west wing (12) wiccan* (10) wii (2) wiki (2) wikileaks (2) wikipedia (38) will.i.am (2) windows (5) wishful thinking (8) witchblade (3) wolfenstein (5) woody allen (3) word (113) world cup (3) world of warcraft (2) world war ii (5) wwjd (3) wyclef jean (2) x-men (2) xbox (2) xkcd (2) youtube (8) zombie* (7) zynga (2)

#1903: STARGATE Wed, 2004 Sep 8 newsgroup, poker _______ _,.--==###\_/=###=-.._ ..-' _.--\\_//---. `-.. ./' ,--'' \_/ `---. `\. ./ \ .,-' _,,......__ `-. / \. /`. ./\' _,.--'':_:'"`:'`-..._ /\. .'\ / .'`./ ,-':":._.:":._.:"+._.:`:. \.'`. `. ,' // .-''"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'`. \ \ / ,' /'":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.`. `. \ / / ,'`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_\ \ \ ,\\ ; /_.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":\ ://, / \\ /'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'\ // \. |//_ \ ':._.:":._.+":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._\ / _\\ \ /___../ /_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"'. \..__ | | | '":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.| | | | | |-:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`| | | | | |":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.+":._.:":._.| | | | : |_:'"`:_:'"`:_+'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`| ; | | \ \.:._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._| / | \ : \:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'.' ; | \ : \._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":,' ; / `. \ \..--:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`:_:'"`-../ / / `__.`.'' _..+'._.:":._.:":._.:":._.:":.`+._ `-,:__` .-'' _ -' .'| _________________________ |`.`-. `-.._ _____' _..-|| :.' .+/;;';`;`;;:`)+(':;;';',`\;\|. `,'|`-. `_____ MJP .-' .'.' :- ,'/,',','/ /./|\.\ \`,`,-,`.`. : `||-.`-._ .' ||.-' ,','/,' / / / + : + \ \ \ `,\ \ `.`-|| `. `-. .-' |' _','<', ,' / / // | \\ \ \ `, ,`.`. `. `. `-. : - `. `. OKAY SO I FLOPPED SPLIT TOP TWO PAIR WITH A STRAIGHT DRAW MEANWHILE THERE WAS A POSSIBLE FLUSH SHOWING ON THE TURN SO WORRIED ABOUT A CHECK-RAISE I BET FOR INFORMATION ONLY TO FIND THAT ONE OPPONENT HAD FLOPPED SPLIT TOP AN BOTTOM PAIR AND THE OTHER SIMPLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING AND THAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IS HOW THE SIT-AND-GO ONE-TABLE TOURNAMENT WAS WON OH FUCK WAIT THIS IS STARGATE OKAY HOW ABOUT SOME COMMENT ABOUT HOW CONSTELLATIONS ARE NOT A VALID WAY TO DESIGNATE A REAL POINT IN FOUR DIMENSIONAL SPACETIME OR AT LEAST SOMETHING ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A HUNK JAMES SPADER WAS #2271: ROUNDERS Sun, 2005 Sep 11 poker _____ _____ |K WW| _____ |Q ww| | {)| _____ |J ww| | {(| |(v)%%| _____ |10 v || {)| |(v)%%| | v%%%||A_ _ | |v v v||(v)% | | v%%%| |_%%%>||( v )| |v v v|| v % | |_%%%O| | \ / | |v v v||__%%[| | . | |___0I| |____V| STUDIES SHOW 50% OF ONLINE POKER PLAYERS ARE APPARENTLY OBLIGATED TO USE NAMES AND AVATARS FROM THE MOVIE ROUNDERS #2301: FLOPPED THE NUTS Tue, 2005 Oct 11 poker _____ |\ ~ /| |}}:{{| SO WHEN I SAY I FLOPPED THE NUTS |}}:{{| _____ I SERIOUSLY WASN'T KIDDING FOLKS |}}:{{| |Joker| |/_~_\| |==%, | | \/>\| ejm98 | _>^^| _____ _____ |/_\/_| _____ |6 | |2 | _____ |5 || ^ ^ | | ^ ||3 | _____ | ^ ^ || ^ ^ | _____ | || ^ ^ ||4 || ^ || ^ ^ ||7 | | ^ || || ^ ^ || ^ ^ ||____9|| ^ ^ | _____ |____Z|| ^ || ||____S| |^ ^ ^||8 | _____ |____E|| ^ ^ | | ^ ^ ||^ ^ ^||9 | |____h| |____L|| ^ ^ ||^ ^ ^| |^ ^ ^||^ ^ ^| |____8||^ ^ ^| |____6| #2422: MY POKER AVATAR Thu, 2006 Feb 9 poker, star trek __ _..-''--'----_. ,''.-''| .---/ _`-._ ,' \ \ ;| | ,/ / `-._`-. ,' ,',\ \( | |// /,-._ / / ;.`. `,\ \`| |/ / | )/ / / /`_`.\_\ \| /_.-.'-''/ / / /_|_:.`. \ |;'`..') / / `-._`-._`.`.;`.\ ,' / / `-._`.`/ ,'-._/ / : `-/ \`-.._/ | : ;._ ( : | \ ` \ \ \ | : : ; | / ; ,' / / / / / SSt DUDE MY POKER PLAYING ICON THAT EVERYONE SEES WHEN I'M AT THE ONLINE SITES IS DATA WITH HIS VISOR WHILE PLAYING FIVE CARD STUD WITH RIKER AND EVERYONE ELSE ON THE ENTERPRISE !!!!!!!! EPISODE 97375 STARDATE 207305.0 DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE TAPE #2452: CHRIS "JESUS" FERGUSON Sat, 2006 Mar 11 poker .------. .------. |A . | WHENEVER CHRIS "JESUS" FERGUSON IS |A_ _ | .------; / \ | GIVING HIS SERIOUS "I'M DEEP" LOOK |( \/ )|-----. _ |(_,_) | ALL I CAN THINK IS HOOOOOOMOOOOOO | \ / | /\ |( ) | I A| | \/ A|/ \ |_x_) |------' `-----+'\ / | Y A| | \/ A|-----' hjw `------' #2573: POKER TOURNAMENT RESULTS Mon, 2006 Jul 10 poker ;-. , \ '. .'/ \ \ .---. .-' / I CAME IN THIRD !!!!!!!! '. ' `\_.' |(),() | , ( __ / .' \ .''.___.'--,/\_,| BUT I CAME FIRST { / \ } | '.\ /_.' / |'-.-', `; _.' jgs | | | |` `""`""`"""` #2629: ALL-IN CHECK MARK Mon, 2006 Sep 4 poker _ ,-(_) )- '() \ / () EXCUSE ME BUT I'D LIKE THE DEGREE ALL-IN CHECK MARK PLZ _.'\() (( (_)` \ \\ | \\ ___]=((--- ( |_/ )_| \ /_| \| / _/)\ ) ___| \| __| /) jg #2648: DOGS PLAYING POKER Sat, 2006 Sep 23 poker _=,_ o_/6 /#\ MY POKER ICON IS THAT PAINTING OF \__ |##/ DOGS PLAYING POKER !!!!!!!!!!!! ='|--\ / #'-. \#|_ _'-. / |/ \_( # |" snd C/ ,--___/ GET IT ?!?!?!?!?!? #2656: CRUB FLUSH Sun, 2006 Oct 1 poker _____ _____ _____ |6 | |2 | _____ |5 || & & | | & ||3 | _____ | & & || & & | _____ | || & & ||4 || & || & & ||7 | | & || || & & || & & ||____9|| & & | _____ |____Z|| & || ||____S| |& & &||8 | _____ |____E|| & & | | & & ||& & &||9 | |____h| |____L|| & & ||& & &| _____ |& & &||& & &| _____ |K WW| |____8||& & &| _____ |Q ww| | o {)| |____6| _____ |J ww| | o {(| |o o%%| _____ |10 & || o {)| |o o%%| | |%%%||A _ | |& & &||o o% | | |%%%| |_%%%>|| ( ) | CRUB FRUSH |& & &|| | % | |_%%%O| |(_'_)| |& & &||__%%[| | | | |___0I| |____V| #2659: FOUR-COLOR DECK Wed, 2006 Oct 4 poker ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ |A | |K | |Q | |J | |10 | |(`)| |(`)| |(`)| |(`)| |(`)| I'M A FOUR-COLOR DECK |_\_| |_\_| |_\_| |_\_| |_\_| ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ |A | |2 | |3 | |4 | |5 | |6 | | /\| | /\| | /\| | /\| | /\| | /\| |_\/| |_\/| |_\/| |_\/| |_\/| |_\/| ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ |A | |2 | |3 | |4 | |5 | |6 | |7 | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ | | ^ | |(,)| |(,)| |(,)| |(,)| |(,)| |(,)| |(,)| ejm ___ ___ ___ ___ |A | |K | |Q | |J | | O | | O | | O | | O | NAIL ME RIGHT IN MY GODDAMN CORNHOLE |O,O| |O,O| |O,O| |O,O| #2734: IN ALL DEFERENCE TO ICE CUBE Mon, 2006 Dec 18 lyrics, poker .------. |A_ _ | I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO USE MY AK |( \/ ).-----. | \ /|K /\ | I MUST SAY IT WAS A GOOD DAY | \/ | / \ | `-----| \ / | (HE FOLDED TO BIG SLICK YOU SEE) | \/ K| `------' hjw+tQn #2890: HIGH SOCIETY Wed, 2007 May 23 poker ______________________________________ | | _.---------|.--. I'D LIKE TWO STACKS OF HIGH | .-' ` .'/ `` SOCIETY | .-' .' | /| | .-' | / `.__// I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS | .-' _.--/ / BUT I HEARD IT SOMEWHERE | | _ .-' / / AND IT SOUNDS REALLY COOL | | ._ \ / ` / | | ` . / ` / | | \ \ '/ / | | - \ / /| | | ' .' / | | | ' |.'| | | | | | | | |______________________________________| | |.' | / VK | / | / ) /| .A/`-. / | AMMMA. `-._ / / AMMMMMMMMA. `-. / / AMMMMMMMMMMMMA. `. / AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`. / MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMV' #3128: HIGH STAKES POKER Wed, 2008 Jan 16 poker .------. .------. |A . | OKAY WELL HIGH STAKES POKER IS DONE FOR |A_ _ | .------; / \ | THE SEASON SO THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR |( \/ )|-----. _ |(_,_) | ME TO DO EXCEPT BEAT OFF AND PUNCH HOOKERS | \ / | /\ |( ) | I A| | \/ A|/ \ |_x_) |------' `-----+'\ / | Y A| (NOT IN THAT ORDER) | \/ A|-----' hjw `------'

FART BACK	IS THIS ALL THERE IS?
CHAT	#AAF @ EFnet on IRC
FOLLOW NEW!	Conspiracy Duck @ Twitter
TOYS	pick a strip at random view the best of ASCII Art Farts get just the current strip in text format get the current strip and info in text format get all strips in fortune format (run strfile fortune.txt fortune.txt.dat then fortune fortune.txt) get a list of all strip dates get an RSS feed get an XML dump (gzip compressed) see the list of quotes
FACTOIDS	number of strips: 5372 first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago) number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Tue, 2023 Feb 21)
MORE STUFF	Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART	Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe