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#3609: ANAL WEEK: TIRED OF LISTENING

Mon, 2009 May 11

anal*

I'M GETTING REALLY TIRED                                       
OF LISTENING TO PHILIP GLASS' ALL-ANAL ORCHESTRA               
                                                               
HE USED TO HAVE A VAGINAL SYMPHONY                             
BUT HE SAID IT JUST DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT TO HIM                   
                                                               
GET IT                                              =_         
                                                    ||\        
                  C  O                C  O          |||\       
    C  O   c  O  (\/\/   C  O        (\/\/          ||||\O     
   (\/\/  (\/\/  /|  |  (\/\/   c  O /|  |          ||||\/\    
   /|  |  /|  | / | /|  /|  |  (\/\// | /|          ||||// \   
  / | /| / | /|/__|/ | / | /|  /|  |__|/ |          |||/  __\| 
 /__|/ |/__|/ |  "    /__|/ | / | /| "              |__: //| | 
   "      "             "    /__|/ |           -               
                     c  O    ! "             (   )             
        c  O        (\/\/     \                -\              
       (\/\/   c  O /|  |  ___ \O              - \O            
       /|  |  (\/\// | /| /   \/|)           ( & )/)           
      / | /|  /|  |__|/ ||   ./||\      _____  -\/|\           
     /__|/ | / | /| "     \___/ | \    /\ | (_)   | \          
       "    /__|/ |        /|\  |__\   -- |       |__\         
              "                  "       /|\       "           
       O     ______________                                    
      /\/  /________________)     O @                          
     /  \_|___O /___________|    _|/_   \                 O @  
   |/__      /_oo-#=        |   /( )_\   \-O               \|_ 
   | |\\  :|(/| \/            ;/_)_(_     \_\    O        / |_\
             ||__      |O      _(   )      \|   /|       / ( ) 
    O /      | |\\ =#-@@|     /  /  /     __\| / |     ;/__)_( 
  /_oo-#=            \/ |                //| | __||       (   )
   | \/               __||    ___O            //| |       /_|_|
  ||__      ejm97    //| |     \ \/             )>==O     '  ' 
  | |\\                          |      O          \/)         
                               __||    /|            |   .-O   
             -----            //| |   / |          __|| (=) )  
              \                       __||        //| |  \(/|  
               \O                    //| |               ___|| 
              __/%)                                     // | | 
               (%%%)                                           
                \/\|                                           
             *__|  \__*                                        

#3610: ANAL WEEK: UP MY ASS YOU GO

Tue, 2009 May 12

anal*

      .-.                                                             
   ,-( o )-.                                                          
  ( o )-( o )                                                         
 .-\-'.|,`-/-.      .-.                                               
( o )--*--( o )  ,-( o )-.                                            
 `-/-.'|`,-\-'  ( o )-( o )                                           
  ( o )-( o )  .-\-'.|,`-/-.                                          
   `-( o )-' _( o )--*--( o )                                         
      `-' \/_/ `-/-.'|`,-\-'                                          
        __ |    ( o )-( o )                                           
        \_\|   .'`-( o )-'                                            
           | .'\    `-'                                               
           |/   |\                                                    
        __ |    \|            I THOUGHT THESE WERE ANAL BEADS AT FIRST
        \_\|                                                          
           | __               TURNS OUT THEY'RE FLOWERS               
           |/_/                                                       
        __ |                                                          
        \_\|                                                          
           | __                                                       
           |/_/               UP MY ASS YOU GO REGARDLESS             
        __ |                                                          
        \_\|                  CAN SOMEBODY GET A VASE WITH SOME WATER 
           | __               TO PUT THESE IN WHEN I'M DONE           
           |/_/                                                       
        __ |                  AND MAYBE SOME WD-40 (I LIKE THE SMELL) 
        \_\|                                                          
           | __                                                       
           |/_/                                                       
        __ |                                                          
        \_\|                                                          
           | __                                                       
           |/_/    VK/hh                                              

#3611: ANAL WEEK: THANKS NANCY

Wed, 2009 May 13

anal*

     _,--"^"--._                                                      
   ,'\         /`.                                                    
 ,'   \_______/   `.    I'VE DECIDED TO MAJOR IN ANALOLOGY            
|     /       \     |                                                 
|    /         \    |   BECAUSE I WANT MY DEGREE TO BE WORTH SOMETHING
|  _/           \_  |   IN THE POST-RECESSION JOB MARKET              
\'' `-.       ,-' ``/                                                 
 \     `-._,-'     /    ALSO I HEAR THE ANAL MARKET                   
  \       |       /     IS DUE FROM SOME STIMULUS FROM THE FED        
   `-.._  |  _,,-'      THANKS NANCY PELOSI                           
hjm     ``"''                                                         

#3612: ANAL WEEK: SHOWER DRAIN TREASURES

Thu, 2009 May 14

anal*

         .---.                                                      
        |   '.|  __                                                 
        | ___.--'  )                                                
      _.-'_` _%%%_/                                                 
   .-'%%% a: a %%%                                                  
       %%  L   %%_                                                  
       _%\'=' |  /-.__                                              
    .-' / )--' #/     '\      MY SCARF IS MADE OF YOUR PUBES        
   /'  /  /---'(    :   \     I PULLED THEM OUT OF YOUR SHOWER DRAIN
  /   |  /( /|##|  \     |                                          
 /   ||# | / | /|   \    \    PS MY NEW SHOW IS PRETTY DISAPPOINTING
 |   ||##| I \/ |   |   _|    OH YEAH AND "ANAL"                    
 |   ||: | o  |#|   |  / |                                          
 |   ||  / I  |:/  /   |/                                           
 |   ||  | o   /  /    /                                            
 |   \|  | I  |. /    /                                             
  \  /|##| o  |.|    /                                              
   \/ \::|/\_ /  ---'|                                              
    \ |\ |    |     :\                                              
    | |  /     \...' |                                              
    | |# |/\    \    |                                              
    | | :|  |    |   |                                              
snd | |  |  |    |   |                                              

#3613: ANAL WEEK: THIS HANDY MACE

Fri, 2009 May 15

anal*

        |\                                                                         
        | \        /|                                                              
        |  \____  / |           THE FINAL WORD ON ANAL SEX!!!                      
       /|__/AMMA\/  |           WOMEN DO NOT ENJOY IT, IT FEELS LIKE HAVING        
     /AMMMMMMMMMMM\_|           TO TAKE A CRAP EXCEPT MORE HURTY AND DEMEANING     
 ___/AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA                                                              
 \   |MVKMMM/ .\MMMMM\                                                             
  \__/MMMMMM\  /MMMMMM---                                                          
  |MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|  /       IN PORN THEY SAY THEY ENJOY IT BECAUSE THEY ARE    
  |MMMM/. \MM.--MMMMMM\/        GETTING PAID                                       
  /\MMM\  /MM\  |MMMMMM   ___                                                      
 /  |MMMMMMMMM\ |MMMMMM--/   \-.     IN REAL LIFE WOMEN SAY THEY ENJOY IT          
/___/MMMMMMMMMM\|MM--M/___/_|   \    BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID                       
     \VMM/\MMMMMMM\  |      /\ \/    AND YOUR DICK IS SMALL                        
      \V/  \MMMMMMM\ |     /_  /                                                   
        |  /MMMV'   \|    |/ _/                                                    
        | /              _/  /    AND THEN THEY GUILT YOU INTO BUYING THEM PRESENTS
        |/              /| \'    BUT YOU CAN HIT THEM WITH THIS HANDY MACE INSTEAD 
                       /_  /                                                       
                       /  /   VK                                                   

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