_    ____   ____ ___ ___      _         _     _____          _       
   / \  / ___| / ___|_ _|_ _|    / \   _ __| |_  |  ___|_ _ _ __| |_ ___ 
  / _ \ \___ \| |    | | | |    / _ \ | '__| __| | |_ / _` | '__| __/ __|
 / ___ \ ___) | |___ | | | |   / ___ \| |  | |_  |  _| (_| | |  | |_\__ \
/_/   \_\____/ \____|___|___| /_/   \_\_|   \__| |_|  \__,_|_|   \__|___/

2010 (6) 24 (8) 911 (30) aaliyah (7) adventure (3) al franken (2) al gore (2) al qaeda (2) alice cooper (2) alien (4) aliens colonial marines (2) all you have (3) allegra (2) am i right (17) amazon (2) anal* (5) android (2) anger* (5) anime (18) anna nicole smith (3) annie ascii (6) answer bear* (3) apollo (11) apple (8) aquatic* (5) aria giovanni (4) asia carrera (2) asperger (19) atari (4) aurora jolie (2) australia (3) babylon 5 (3) bailout (4) battlefield (16) battlestar galactica (8) bbc (2) beatles (2) bejeweled (2) berserkers (2) best of (33) best part (12) beyonce (2) bible (2) bionic woman (2) blank (3) blog (52) bob marley (2) bobby brown (4) bolo santosi (2) boner* (3) bravo (8) brazil (4) bright (2) british (2) britney spears (3) brokeback mountain (2) bush (6) call of duty (7) calvin (2) camgirl (9) canada (12) carl sagan (2) cassini (3) census (2) chalkboard (2) chaps* (3) charlie sheen (2) cheers (2) christmas (15) clam* (3) cold war (4) communism (3) confessions* (13) conspiracy duck* (11) contact (2) cosby show (4) cosmos (3) counter-strike (3) creampie (3) critic (4) crucicaption (6) crysis (6) daylight savings (2) dean (32) defcon (3) derek smart (4) desirae (2) deus ex (3) diabetes (4) dickwolves (3) die hard (4) dilbert (6) disney (25) doctor who (3) dont hate me (2) doom (9) dot (2) douglas adams (2) down syndrome (4) dr. dre (2) dr. who (2) duke nukem (3) dune (4) eaten* (2) einstein (2) election 2004 (7) election 2008 (33) election 2010 (2) election 2012 (9) ellen degeneres (2) er (2) escher (2) esperanto (2) eve online (2) everybody loves raymond (3) facebook (9) family guy (3) far cry (2) fear (2) figlet (37) filk (2) flea* (5) flintstones (3) football (2) fred friendly (3) freespace (6) french (12) fresh air (2) friends (3) funyuns (2) garfield (5) geography (7) german (24) gianna michaels (4) gloria steinem (2) gnutella (2) god help me (2) google (5) grand theft auto (10) gun free zones (2) haiku (9) haiti (4) half-life (10) halloween (2) halo (4) ham (2) hamas (2) hangin with jesus* (5) harry potter (4) harvey milk (2) henry* (5) hershey* (3) hillary clinton (2) hippies (7) hitler (2) hulk (3) hurricane (7) ice cube (3) id software (2) ideograms (4) immigration (4) inconsolable (2) india (2) infocom (3) intelligent design (3) iphone (3) iran (5) iraq (17) isaac newton (3) islam (28) israel (3) james burke (2) jasmin st. claire (2) jave (8) jeopardy (3) jerkcity (2) jesus (19) jewish (2) jimmy carter (3) jody watley (2) john f. kennedy (5) john travolta (2) jon stewart (3) joseph kony (2) jupiter (2) just cause (3) kari byron (2) katamari (3) kelis (2) kilroy (2) kindle (4) kirara (3) kirstie alley (3) kiwi (3) korean (3) lady diana (2) lady gaga (2) latin (2) law and order (10) left 4 dead (3) left eye (4) linux (6) logo (16) lord of the rings (4) lost (2) lottery (2) lucy lee (2) lyrics (23) macintosh (6) marilyn manson (3) mariska hargitay (2) mash (5) mass effect (8) math (4) matrix (5) me neither (4) mel gibson (3) meme (5) memento (2) meta (2) michael jackson (9) michael moore (5) michelin (2) midori (2) milf (4) minecraft (4) minotaur* (2) monads (2) mormon (2) msnbc (2) muppets (4) myfreecams (6) mythbusters (2) nabis (2) napster (3) nasa (8) nazi (12) nerd boy (9) net neutrality (2) nethack (4) newsgroup (47) newsradio (2) niven (2) nobel prize (4) north korea (3) npr (4) obama (12) oceans thirteen (2) oj simpson (2) okcupid (2) olympics (3) onion (3) open source (10) original (56) orkut (2) osama bin laden (6) p2p (4) pac-man (6) pajamas media (4) panther (4) particle (2) patriot act (2) peanuts (15) pearl harbor (3) penn and teller (2) penny arcade (2) perl (2) perspective (6) petition (7) playstation (2) please shut up* (2) plonk (5) pluto (6) poem (4) pokemon (6) poker (13) polyamory (3) pooh (8) porn (46) pornstar (66) portal (7) powerpuff (2) proposal (2) python (2) quake (8) quebec (2) queer eye (3) r. kelly (3) rage (2) rape rays* (3) red bull (3) red dwarf (2) rent (2) richard stallman (2) rihanna (3) roger ebert (7) roman polanski (2) ron paul (4) russian (2) safe word (3) sanrio (4) sarah silverman (2) saturday night live (3) saving grace (2) science fact (3) scrubs (4) seaquest (2) second life (2) seinfeld (2) sesame (7) sesame street (3) shakespeare (3) shield (3) shitting* (3) shutdown (2) simple (20) simpsons (8) skeptic (3) skull (2) slashdot (4) smurfs (3) soccer (6) south park (4) space shuttle (5) special (2) spice girls (4) spongebob (2) spore (2) squirtle (2) star trek (35) star wars (20) starcraft (4) starship troopers (2) steve jobs (2) strike (2) super bowl (3) sweden (2) swine flu (3) tattoo (9) tax (6) ted (6) ted kennedy (3) tensor (3) terry gross (2) tetris (2) thanksgiving (3) they might be giants (2) third rock (2) tina fey (2) tlc (3) togos (2) tomb raider (4) tools* (2) topical (215) transsexual (2) transvestite (3) treo (3) trilogy* (2) true story (3) truther (2) tsunami (5) twitter (12) u2 (3) understatement (5) usenet (9) ussr (4) uwe boll (2) vanessa del rio (2) vectrex (2) vegan (2) west wing (12) wiccan* (10) wii (2) wiki (2) wikileaks (2) wikipedia (38) will.i.am (2) windows (5) wishful thinking (8) witchblade (3) wolfenstein (5) woody allen (3) word (113) world cup (3) world of warcraft (2) world war ii (5) wwjd (3) wyclef jean (2) x-men (2) xbox (2) xkcd (2) youtube (8) zombie* (7) zynga (2)

#824: SPREAD OPEN Tue, 2001 Sep 25 nerd boy, newsgroup __ _ _ _ ________ _ / \\\ SPREAD OPEN MY CHEEKS \ \| `.| `.| `\ \ \ \ `.' \ [.[.]-\\ AND TEACH ME MY ABC'S \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ _, \ /_ /|/ /\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ (jg) {-} |= ___/ \__/`._|\_\_\_,_\__|\_\_\ \_\ #// (\ #1301: MY FAVORITE SNACK Wed, 2003 Jan 15 nerd boy, newsgroup _/_^..^ ,, ) ))' ., OO ,,. .||. db jg DELICIOUS URINE, MY FAVORITE SNACK!!! MMM SLURP MY WORTHLESS SWEDISH ASS GROWING #1302: WHAT A COUNTRY Thu, 2003 Jan 16 nerd boy, newsgroup, ussr I COME FROM A COUNTRY THAT STAYS NEUTRAL IN ALL WARS, HAS RIDICULOUSLY HIGH TAXES, AND PRODUCES NOTHING BUT A LONG STREAM OF FUCKING TALENTLESS CUNTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!! \ \ ___ / \\ [.[.]-\ /_ /| {-} |= .- #// (\. / \ | | | | |__| |__| | | | | | | | | \|______|/ | _| | | |-| | | |_| | | | \_ | | | | | | | | _|__|___| jg(____(___) IN SOVIET RUSSIA ASCII ART DRAWS *YOU* #1453: NAUGHTIEST NERD BOY YET Mon, 2003 Jun 16 nerd boy, newsgroup I'M A FAGGOT ME TOO GREAT LET'S SUCK COCK \ \ / _ ,,, , ~.. (_| oo' ,-:@@ .>>. ,[__]_ \\ / |(( jg_______________ || ____ (_|___|_||___,' ||bb _________________ #1805: A REALLY BIG CAT Wed, 2004 Jun 2 nerd boy, newsgroup GET IT ?!??!?!?!? IT'S A REALLY BIG CAT !!!!!!!!1! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OH MY GOD I'M SO FUNNY | _^_^ \ ' / =v= | .--. `. ,,, ,' \J_/`. | | OO - 'oo - | \ | | .||- -\\- ||| ( \ jg | | bb \\ ||| _\|`-' ONE FINE DAY I WILL SLIP THE CHAINS OF MORTALITY ONCE I COME TO GRIPS WITH THIS SIMPLE FACT: I AM TOO USELESS TO CONTINUE LIVING #1860: A TALKING POTTED PLANT Tue, 2004 Jul 27 critic, nerd boy, newsgroup SINCE WE'RE DRAWN BY AN UNTALENTED MORON WANNA LICK EACH OTHER'S DICKS _ _ / DON'T MIND IF I DO (\'/) (_(.)_) / (/|\) , (\_,|__ OO _|_(\ .||. jg_________ |_| '____________________ dd ____________ #1965: NEWS FLASH Tue, 2004 Nov 9 nerd boy, newsgroup MAYBE I JUST FINALLY TOOK MY OWN LIFE AFTER WASTING ALL THESE YEARS MAKING CRAPPY ASCII ART AND EVEN CRAPPIER JOKES WHAT DO I CARE I'M STILL GOING TO FUCK YOUR CORPSE \ \ / ,,, __ ( .. OO | __/ o|_ .)) \__| ( ) \\,'/ ____ _ / ,' /._/ /| ||\\ `.\ ___| \|___|| _ )) | _ _>'-' \ | | ||\||\ / ) ) ||/||/ \|\| __ ___ _______ ||||_ ____________ //_//__\ ____________ jg #2487: APRIL FOOL'S ON WIKIPEDIA Sat, 2006 Apr 15 nerd boy, topical, wikipedia WE'RE CATALOGUING ALL THE INTERNET-RELATED APRIL FOOL'S PRANKS THIS YEAR ON WIKIPEDIA BECAUSE WE'RE TOTALLY NERDS WHO NEED TO DIE _ \ I MOLEST CHILDREN |_| \ __ / | #..# \OO | .)(. ||. ________ || _____ dd _________/ ------------------------------' jg #4473: INSANITY Thu, 2011 Sep 22 nerd boy ___ __ _ .' ( ,, O |_) ,-.( \ |`_`-'.__ |_(._[__] jg _)/`.__)`--)\`--)\ __________ | |b| | YOU KNOW WHAT THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS ?!?!?!?!? MAKING STUPID ANALOGIES INVOLVING EXPECTATIONS ABOUT THINGS

FART BACK	IS THIS ALL THERE IS?
CHAT	#AAF @ EFnet on IRC
FOLLOW NEW!	Conspiracy Duck @ Twitter
TOYS	pick a strip at random view the best of ASCII Art Farts get just the current strip in text format get the current strip and info in text format get all strips in fortune format (run strfile fortune.txt fortune.txt.dat then fortune fortune.txt) get a list of all strip dates get an RSS feed get an XML dump (gzip compressed) see the list of quotes
FACTOIDS	number of strips: 5372 first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago) number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Tue, 2023 Feb 21)
MORE STUFF	Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART	Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe