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#551: HENRY

Tue, 2000 Dec 26

henry 

         _.-+.              DEAR HENRY,                         
    _.-""     '.                                                
+:""            '.          WE FEEL YOUR ILLUSTRATION IS NOT    
J \               '.        SUITABLE FOR THE NEW YORKER MAGAZINE
 L \             _.-+                                           
 |  '.       _.-"   |       PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT US AGAIN      
 J    \  _.-"       L                                           
  L    +"          J        YOURS SINCERELY                     
  +    |           |                                            
   \   |          .+        THE EDITOR                          
    \  |       .-'          P.S. NEXT TIME WE'RE GETTING A      
     \ |    .-'             RESTRAINING ORDER                   
      \| .--' -Henry-                                           
       +

#563: HENRY II

Sun, 2001 Jan 7

henry 

         _.-+.           DEAR MISTER SHITHEAD EDITOR,               
    _.-""     '.                                                    
+:""            '.       IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY CUBE THEN YOU CAN     
J \               '.     ROT IN HELL !!!                            
 L \             _.-+                                               
 |  '.       _.-"   |    THE MINUTE I GET THIS TRACKING DEVICE OFF  
 J    \  _.-"       L    MY ANKLE I'M GOING DOWN THERE TO YOUR      
  L    +"          J     OFFICES !!!                                
  +    |           |                                                
   \   |          .+     YOUR ASS IS GRASS MOTHERFUCKERS !!!!!!!!!!!
    \  |       .-'                                                  
     \ |    .-'                                                     
      \| .-'             SCREW ALL OF YOU,                          
       +                 HENRY

#1213: HENRY III

Sat, 2002 Oct 19

henry 

         _.-+.           DEAR HENRY,                                 
    _.-""     '.                                                     
+:""            '.       PLEASE STOP WRITING. YOUR ASCII CUBE IS OF  
J \               '.     NO INTEREST TO OUR PUBLICATION. WE URGE     
 L \             _.-+    YOU TO INSTEAD TO MASTURBATE TO COMPLETION  
 |  '.       _.-"   |    INSTEAD OF GETTING HALFWAY HARD (SQUISHY    
 J    \  _.-"       L    IS THE WORD I THINK YOU USED) AND GIVING UP 
  L    +"          J     TO DRAW ASCII CUBES, PRINT THEM OUT AT THE  
  +    |           |     LOCAL DRUGSTORE FOR $0.15/PAGE THEN MAIL    
   \   |          .+     THEM TO NYC. GIVE IT UP, MAN.               
    \  |       .-'                                                   
     \ |    .-'          SINCERELY,                                  
      \| .-'             THE NEW YORKER MAGAZINE                     
       +                 P.S. RESTRAINING ORDER IN FULL EFFECT (WORD)

#1622: HENRY IV

Tue, 2003 Dec 2

henry 

         _.-+.           DEAR SIRS,                                    
    _.-""     '.                                                       
+:""            '.       I WROTE TO YOU SOMETIME LAST YEAR REGARDING   
J \               '.     MY ASCII CUBE (LEFT). AT THE TIME, YOU WERE   
 L \             _.-+    NOT INTERESTED. AT THE END OF 2003, I POLITELY
 |  '.       _.-"   |    REQUEST THAT YOU CONSIDER MY CUBE FOR         
 J    \  _.-"       L    INCLUSION IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF NEW YORKER     
  L    +"          J     MAGAZINE. OTHERWISE IF I GET ANOTHER GODDAMN  
  +    |           |     YELLOW NOTE I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR FUCKING    
   \   |          .+     ASSES!!! THAT'S RIGHT ASSHOLES I'M TOTALLY    
    \  |       .-'       OFF PROBATION NOW AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM  
     \ |    .-'          DISTRIBUTING LEAFLETS ABOUT MY CAUSE OR       
      \| .-'             ORGANIZING PROTESTS IN FRONT OF YOUR HOMES!!@ 
       +                                                               
                         FUCK YOU AND YOU AND YOU,                     
                                                                       
                         HENRY                                         
                                                                       
P.S. IT'S TOTALLY BECAUSE OF YOU THAT I RETURNED A PLAYSTATION         
CARTRIDGE TO BLOCKBUSTER LATE

#2141: HENRY V

Wed, 2005 May 4

henry 

         .....           TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,                 
      .:::::::::.        THIS IS A MESSAGE TO THE EDITORS        
   .::::::::::::::.      OF THE NEW YORKER MAGAZINE              
  ::::::::::::::::::                                             
 ::::::::::::::::::::    I'M WRITING TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY         
::::::::::::::::::::::   FATHER'S BEHAVIOR ("HENRY," THE         
::::::::::::::::::::::   HORRIBLY MISSHAPEN CUBE) WHO HAD        
::::::::::::::::::::::   BEEN HARASSING YOUR EDITORIAL STAFF     
 ::::::::::::::::::::    OVER THE YEARS                          
  ::::::::::::::::::                                             
   `::::::::::::::'      AS YOU KNOW HIS PAROLE DATE IS COMING   
      `:::::::::'        UP AND A POSITIVE MESSAGE FROM YOU WOULD
         `````           GO A LONG WAY TOWARDS HIS RELEASE

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BY KEYWORD 2010, 24, 911, aaliyah, alien, all you have, anger*, anime, anna nicole smith, annie ascii, answer bear*, apollo, apple, aria giovanni, asia carrera, asperger, atari, babylon 5, battlefield, battlestar galactica, beatles, best of, best part, bionic woman, blank, blog, bobby brown, bravo, britney spears, bush, calvin, canada, chalkboard, chaps*, cheers, clam*, confessions*, conspiracy duck*, cosby, creampie, critic, dean, defcon, derek smart, desirae, dilbert, disney, doctor who, don't hate me, doom, dot, dune, eaten*, election 2004, election 2008, ellen degeneres, er, escher, everybody loves raymond, family guy, fear, figlet, flea*, fred friendly, freespace, french, friends, garfield, geography, german, gnutella, god help me, google, grand theft auto, gun free zones, haiku, half-life, halo, harry potter, henry, hershey*, hulk, hurricane, ideograms, immigration, inconsolable, iraq, islam, jasmin st. claire, jerkcity, jesus, jody watley, john travolta, jon stewart, katamari, kirara, korean, law and order, left eye, linux, logo, lord of the rings, lottery, lyrics, macintosh, marilyn manson, mash, matrix, meme, memento, meta, michael jackson, michael moore, midori, milf, mormon, nabis, napster, nazi, nerd boy, nethack, newsgroup, niven, ocean's thirteen, onion, open source, original, orkut, p2p, pac-man, panther, particle, patriot act, peanuts, perl, perspective, please shut up*, pluto, poem, pokemon, poker, polyamory, pooh, porn, pornstar, portal, powerpuff, python, quake, quebec, queer eye, r. kelly, rape rays*, red dwarf, rent, richard stallman, roger ebert, ron paul, russian, sanrio, saturday night live, scrubs, second life, sesame, sesame street, shitting, shuttle, simple, simpsons, skull, slashdot, south park, special, spice girls, star trek, star wars, starcraft, starship troopers, strike, tattoo, tax, tetris, third rock, tlc, togos, tomb raider, tools*, topical, transsexual, transvestite, treo, tsunami, understatement, usenet, vanessa del rio, vegan, west wing, wiccan*, wii, wiki, wikipedia, wishful thinking, witchblade, wolfenstein, word, wwjd, xbox, zombie
TOYS
FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 3249
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (8.9 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips in the queue: 6 (0.9 weeks' worth)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, xkcd
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery