> HOME
> CURRENT
> RANDOM
> BEST OF
> RSS FEED
> CONTACT
    _    ____   ____ ___ ___      _         _     _____          _       
   / \  / ___| / ___|_ _|_ _|    / \   _ __| |_  |  ___|_ _ _ __| |_ ___ 
  / _ \ \___ \| |    | | | |    / _ \ | '__| __| | |_ / _` | '__| __/ __|
 / ___ \ ___) | |___ | | | |   / ___ \| |  | |_  |  _| (_| | |  | |_\__ \
/_/   \_\____/ \____|___|___| /_/   \_\_|   \__| |_|  \__,_|_|   \__|___/
"REMEMBER BACK WHEN AIDS WAS CALLED GRID"
BY NUMBER <
BY TITLE <
BY DATE <
BY DAY <
BY CALENDAR <
BY KEYWORD <

2010 (6)
24 (8)
911 (30)
aaliyah (7)
adventure (3)
al franken (2)
al gore (2)
al qaeda (2)
alice cooper (2)
alien (4)
aliens colonial marines (2)
all you have (3)
allegra (2)
am i right (17)
amazon (2)
anal* (5)
android (2)
anger* (5)
anime (18)
anna nicole smith (3)
annie ascii (6)
answer bear* (3)
apollo (11)
apple (8)
aquatic* (5)
aria giovanni (4)
asia carrera (2)
asperger (19)
atari (4)
aurora jolie (2)
australia (3)
babylon 5 (3)
bailout (4)
battlefield (16)
battlestar galactica (8)
bbc (2)
beatles (2)
bejeweled (2)
berserkers (2)
best of (33)
best part (12)
beyonce (2)
bible (2)
bionic woman (2)
blank (3)
blog (52)
bob marley (2)
bobby brown (4)
bolo santosi (2)
boner* (3)
bravo (8)
brazil (4)
bright (2)
british (2)
britney spears (3)
brokeback mountain (2)
bush (6)
call of duty (7)
calvin (2)
camgirl (9)
canada (12)
carl sagan (2)
cassini (3)
census (2)
chalkboard (2)
chaps* (3)
charlie sheen (2)
cheers (2)
christmas (15)
clam* (3)
cold war (4)
communism (3)
confessions* (13)
conspiracy duck* (11)
contact (2)
cosby show (4)
cosmos (3)
counter-strike (3)
creampie (3)
critic (4)
crucicaption (6)
crysis (6)
daylight savings (2)
dean (32)
defcon (3)
derek smart (4)
desirae (2)
deus ex (3)
diabetes (4)
dickwolves (3)
die hard (4)
dilbert (6)
disney (25)
doctor who (3)
dont hate me (2)
doom (9)
dot (2)
douglas adams (2)
down syndrome (4)
dr. dre (2)
dr. who (2)
duke nukem (3)
dune (4)
eaten* (2)
einstein (2)
election 2004 (7)
election 2008 (33)
election 2010 (2)
election 2012 (9)
ellen degeneres (2)
er (2)
escher (2)
esperanto (2)
eve online (2)
everybody loves raymond (3)
facebook (9)
family guy (3)
far cry (2)
fear (2)
figlet (37)
filk (2)
flea* (5)
flintstones (3)
football (2)
fred friendly (3)
freespace (6)
french (12)
fresh air (2)
friends (3)
funyuns (2)
garfield (5)
geography (7)
german (24)
gianna michaels (4)
gloria steinem (2)
gnutella (2)
god help me (2)
google (5)
grand theft auto (10)
gun free zones (2)
haiku (9)
haiti (4)
half-life (10)
halloween (2)
halo (4)
ham (2)
hamas (2)
hangin with jesus* (5)
harry potter (4)
harvey milk (2)
henry* (5)
hershey* (3)
hillary clinton (2)
hippies (7)
hitler (2)
hulk (3)
hurricane (7)
ice cube (3)
id software (2)
ideograms (4)
immigration (4)
inconsolable (2)
india (2)
infocom (3)
intelligent design (3)
iphone (3)
iran (5)
iraq (17)
isaac newton (3)
islam (28)
israel (3)
james burke (2)
jasmin st. claire (2)
jave (8)
jeopardy (3)
jerkcity (2)
jesus (19)
jewish (2)
jfk (2)
jimmy carter (3)
jody watley (2)
john f. kennedy (3)
john travolta (2)
jon stewart (3)
joseph kony (2)
jupiter (2)
just cause (3)
kari byron (2)
katamari (3)
kelis (2)
kilroy (2)
kindle (4)
kirara (3)
kirstie alley (3)
kiwi (3)
korean (3)
lady diana (2)
lady gaga (2)
latin (2)
law and order (10)
left 4 dead (3)
left eye (4)
linux (6)
logo (16)
lord of the rings (4)
lost (2)
lottery (2)
lucy lee (2)
lyrics (23)
macintosh (6)
marilyn manson (3)
mariska hargitay (2)
mash (5)
mass effect (8)
math (4)
matrix (5)
me neither (4)
mel gibson (3)
meme (5)
memento (2)
meta (2)
michael jackson (9)
michael moore (5)
michelin (2)
midori (2)
milf (4)
minecraft (4)
minotaur* (2)
monads (2)
mormon (2)
msnbc (2)
muppets (4)
myfreecams (6)
mythbusters (2)
nabis (2)
napster (3)
nasa (8)
nazi (12)
nerd boy (9)
net neutrality (2)
nethack (4)
newsgroup (47)
newsradio (2)
niven (2)
nobel prize (4)
north korea (3)
npr (4)
obama (12)
oceans thirteen (2)
oj simpson (2)
okcupid (2)
olympics (3)
onion (3)
open source (10)
original (56)
orkut (2)
osama bin laden (6)
p2p (4)
pac-man (6)
pajamas media (4)
panther (4)
particle (2)
patriot act (2)
peanuts (15)
pearl harbor (3)
penn and teller (2)
penny arcade (2)
perl (2)
perspective (6)
petition (7)
playstation (2)
please shut up* (2)
plonk (5)
pluto (6)
poem (4)
pokemon (6)
poker (13)
polyamory (3)
pooh (8)
porn (46)
pornstar (65)
portal (7)
powerpuff (2)
proposal (2)
python (2)
quake (8)
quebec (2)
queer eye (3)
r. kelly (3)
rage (2)
rape rays* (3)
red bull (3)
red dwarf (2)
rent (2)
richard stallman (2)
rihanna (3)
roger ebert (7)
roman polanski (2)
ron paul (4)
russian (2)
safe word (3)
sanrio (4)
sarah silverman (2)
saturday night live (3)
saving grace (2)
science fact (3)
scrubs (4)
seaquest (2)
second life (2)
seinfeld (2)
sesame (7)
sesame street (3)
shakespeare (3)
shield (3)
shitting* (3)
shutdown (2)
simple (20)
simpsons (8)
skeptic (3)
skull (2)
slashdot (4)
smurfs (3)
soccer (6)
south park (4)
space shuttle (5)
special (2)
spice girls (4)
spongebob (2)
spore (2)
squirtle (2)
star trek (35)
star wars (20)
starcraft (4)
starship troopers (2)
steve jobs (2)
strike (2)
super bowl (3)
sweden (2)
swine flu (3)
tattoo (9)
tax (6)
ted (6)
ted kennedy (3)
tensor (3)
terry gross (2)
tetris (2)
thanksgiving (3)
they might be giants (2)
third rock (2)
tina fey (2)
tlc (3)
togos (2)
tomb raider (4)
tools* (2)
topical (215)
transsexual (2)
transvestite (3)
treo (3)
trilogy* (2)
true story (3)
truther (2)
tsunami (5)
twitter (12)
u2 (3)
understatement (5)
usenet (9)
ussr (4)
uwe boll (2)
vanessa del rio (2)
vectrex (2)
vegan (2)
west wing (12)
wiccan* (10)
wii (2)
wiki (2)
wikileaks (2)
wikipedia (38)
will.i.am (2)
windows (5)
wishful thinking (8)
witchblade (3)
wolfenstein (5)
woody allen (3)
word (113)
world cup (3)
world of warcraft (2)
world war ii (5)
wwjd (3)
wyclef jean (2)
x-men (2)
xbox (2)
xkcd (2)
youtube (8)
zombie* (7)
zynga (2)

#2463: JACK BAUER

Wed, 2006 Mar 22

24, treo

  itz  -_                                             
       `-;-_   ,--.__                                 
          `-;-/. ,/\-`.    EVEN JACK BAUER USES A TREO
          _//"\\ l'/Y=|                               
         /'-?  \\ `;\-|                               
       ,'  ;/   \\  \|;                               
     ./'  ;'     \\  \(                               
   ,-" _;'        \\  `                               
,-'_;-"            \                                  
 "'                                                   

#2590: WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION

Thu, 2006 Jul 27

24

        _,--',   _._.--._____                                         
 .--.--';_'-.', ";_      _.,-'                                        
.'--'.  _.'    {`'-;_ .-.>.'     WHY DON'T WE GROUND JACK BAUER INTO  
      '-:_      )  / `' '=.      A FINE POWDER AND THEN WEAPONIZE IT  
        ) >     {_/,     /~)     BY DRYING IT AND MAKE IT STATICALLY  
snd     |/               `^ .'   CHARGED SO IT EASILY STICKS TO THINGS
                                 AND PEOPLE AND THEN SPRINKLE IT OVER 
     AFGHANISTAN ALBANIA ALGERIA ANDORRA ANGOLA ANTIGUA AND BARBUDA   
     ARGENTINA ARMENIA AUSTRALIA AUSTRIA AZERBAIJAN BAHAMAS BAHRAIN   
     BANGLADESH BARBADOS BELARUS BELGIUM BELIZE BENIN BHUTAN BOLIVIA  
     BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA BOTSWANA BRAZIL BRUNEI BULGARIA BURKINA   
     FASO BURUNDI CAMBODIA CAMEROON CANADA CAPE VERDE CENTRAL         
     AFRICAN REPUBLIC CHAD CHILE CHINA COLOMBIA COMOROS CONGO COSTA   
     RICA COTE D'IVOIRE CROATIA CUBA CYPRUS CZECH REPUBLIC DENMARK    
     DJIBOUTI DOMINICA DOMINICAN REPUBLIC EAST TIMOR ECUADOR EGYPT    
     EL SALVADOR EQUATORIAL GUINEA ERITREA ESTONIA ETHIOPIA FIJI      
     FINLAND FRANCE GABON GAMBIA GEORGIA GERMANY GHANA GREECE         
     GRENADA GUATEMALA GUINEA GUINEA-BISSAU GUYANA HAITI HONDURAS     
     HUNGARY ICELAND INDIA INDONESIA IRAN IRAQ IRELAND ISRAEL ITALY   
     JAMAICA JAPAN JORDAN KAZAKHSTAN KENYA KIRIBATI NORTH KOREA       
     SOUTH KOREA KUWAIT KYRGYZSTAN LAOS LATVIA LEBANON LESOTHO        
     LIBERIA LIBYA LIECHTENSTEIN LITHUANIA LUXEMBOURG MACEDONIA       
     MADAGASCAR MALAWI MALAYSIA MALDIVES MALI MALTA MARSHALL ISLANDS  
     MAURITANIA MAURITIUS MEXICO FEDERATED STATES OF MICRONESIA       
     MOLDOVA MONACO MONGOLIA MONTENEGRO MOROCCO MOZAMBIQUE MYANMAR    
     NAMIBIA NAURU NEPAL NETHERLANDS NEW ZEALAND NICARAGUA NIGER      
     NIGERIA NORWAY OMAN PAKISTAN PALAU PANAMA PAPUA NEW GUINEA       
     PARAGUAY PERU PHILIPPINES POLAND PORTUGAL QATAR ROMANIA RUSSIA   
     RWANDA SAINT KITTS AND NEVIS SAINT LUCIA SAINT VINCENT AND THE   
     GRENADINES SAMOA SAN MARINO SAO TOME AND PRINCIPE SAUDI ARABIA   
     SENEGAL SERBIA SEYCHELLES SIERRA LEONE SINGAPORE SLOVAKIA        
     SLOVENIA SOLOMON ISLANDS SOMALIA SOUTH AFRICA SPAIN SRI LANKA    
     SUDAN SURINAME SWAZILAND SWEDEN SWITZERLAND SYRIA TAIWAN         
     TAJIKISTAN TANZANIA THAILAND TOGO TONGA TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO      
     TUNISIA TURKEY TURKMENISTAN TUVALU UGANDA UKRAINE UNITED ARAB    
     EMIRATES UNITED KINGDOM URUGUAY UZBEKISTAN VANUATU VATICAN CITY  
     VENEZUELA VIETNAM WESTERN SAHARA YEMEN ZAMBIA ZIMBABWE           

#2680: SHERRY PALMER

Wed, 2006 Oct 25

24

          .{{}}}}}}.                                             
         {{{{{}}}}}}}.    I WOULD TOTALLY DO SHERRY PALMER       
        {{{{  {{{{{}}}}                                          
       }}}}} _   _ {{{{{                                         
       }}}}  6   6  }}}}                                         
      {{{{C    ^    {{{{   WELL YOU KNOW WHEN SHE WAS STILL ALIVE
     }}}}}}\  '='  /}}}}}                                        
     {{{{{{{;.___.;}}}}}}                                        
      {{{{{{{)   (}}}}}}'   NAH SCRATCH THAT QUALIFICATION       
jgs    `""'"':   :'"'"'`     I'D DO HER ANYWAY                   
              `@`                                                

#3088: CAR INSURANCE

Fri, 2007 Dec 7

24

          __    _                    WHY DOES PRESIDENT PALMER
         / l    \~-_                  WANT ME TO BUY          
,----~~~~--+-----`--~----____          CAR INSURANCE          
@   /~_~\  | ~      |   /~_~\~~~-,                            
\_ ( (_) )  \_______|  ( (_) )_-~                             
  ~~\___/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\___/~                                
JP                                                            

#3412: THE NEXT SEASON OF 24

Sun, 2008 Oct 26

24, jimmy carter

             (()))                                                      
            /|x x|    GIANT DAVID PALMER ZOMBIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!        
           /\( - )                                                      
   ___.-._/\/         DAVID PALMER COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD             
  /=`_'-'-'/  !!                                                        
  |-{-_-_-}     !     AND WANDERS THROUGH THE STREETS OF DOWNTOWN       
  (-{-_-_-}    !      VISALIA BEING EXPOSED TO THE RADIATION FROM       
   \{_-_-_}   !       THE NUCLEAR BOMB WHICH DETONATED THERE AND        
    }-_-_-}           GROWS TO HUGE EX-PRESIDENT ZOMBIE SIZE            
    {-_|-_}                                                             
    {-_|_-}           MUCH LIKE CARTER                                  
    {_-|-_}                                                             
ZOT {_-|-_}           DON'T GET CUTE WITH ME I SAW THEM I KNOW WHAT'S UP
____%%@ @%%_______                                                      

#3490: 24 SEASON 7

Mon, 2009 Jan 12

24, canada

                                .=.                                      
                               "|||"    JACK BAUER'S PRETTY TOUGH        
                              _.===._                            _       
                           .-".'   '."-.                        (_)      
                          ." ."     ". ".  FOR A CANADIAN    _   |   _   
                          |+-+-------+-+|                  _(_)\ | /(_)_ 
                    +    |---+-------+---|    +           (_)---| |---(_)
                  _="=_  :|||:|_|_|_|:|||:  _="=_              |_|_|     
                  |:::|  |   |  \|/  |   |  |:::|               | |      
                 | ... |_|...-=) + (=-...|_| ... |              | |      
       \_._._._._| ||| | o . o . o . o . o | ||| |_._._._._/    | |      
       |  _   _  |  _  | _   _   _   _   _ |  _  |  _   _  |    | |      
._._._.| |.| |.| | |.| ||.| |.| |.| |.| |.|| |.| | |.| |.| |_._.| |.     
    _  |    __   |  _  |-------------------|  _  |   __    |  _ | |      
   | | |   |  |  | | | | ::   .-"""-.   :: | | | |  |  |   | | || ||     
   |.| |   |..|  | |.| |     | .-"-. |     | |.| |  |..|   | |.|| ||     
       :         |     | .-. | |   | | .-. |     |         '    | |      
               :     : |_|_|_|   |_|_|_| :     :              | |        
                         _/=============\_                      | |      

#3647: TWO WORDS YOU WILL WANT TO IMMEDIATELY FORGET

Thu, 2009 Jun 18

24

       _.-------._                
     .' _|_|_|_|_ '.              
    / _|_|_|_|_|_|_ \             
   | |_|_|_|_|_|_|_| |	   JANEANE 
   |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|            
   | |_|_|_|_|_|_|_| |            
   | |_|_|_|_|_|_|_| |    GAROFALO
    \ -|_|_|_|_|_|- /             
     '. -|_|_|_|- .'              
jgs    `---------`                

#4019: FLIP PHONES NOT SMARTPHONES

Fri, 2010 Jun 25

24, treo

   __i                                               
  |---|    FLIP PHONES ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR JACK BAUER
  |[_]|    SO THEY SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY 
  |:::|                                              
  |:::|    I DISCOUNT HIS TREO IN THE LATER SEASONS  
  `\   \   AS THEY'RE CLEARLY NONCANONICAL           
    \_=_\                                            
jsm                                                  

FART BACK
IS THIS ALL THERE IS?
CHAT#AAF @ EFnet on IRC
FOLLOW NEW!Conspiracy Duck @ Twitter
TOYS
FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Sat, 2018 Sep 15)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe