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#1558: AN ORIGINAL POEM

Mon, 2003 Sep 29

poem 

                            P             
                         P /\  P          
                        /\|  |/\          
                     [] ||_/\_|| []       
                     ||_||____||_||       
                     ||____[]____||       
                    {::     \__    }      
                ___  \v:    .'"  _V ___   
            snd(      \_      __/  --  )_ 
              (__---    |::\ :/  ---     )
                 (       \::\/  ----- ___)
                  (______  \/     _____)  
                                          
THE MOON SHE RISES SWIFTLY                
 UP THE NUTS SHE SAYS AND I OBEY          
  I AM EMPTY OF LIFE                      
   JIZZ MOP

#1806: UNFINISHED GREETING CARD POEM #4

Thu, 2004 Jun 3

poem 

      __     __                                             
    .'  `...'  `.         "UNFINISHED GREETING CARD POEM #4"
  __|     |     |__                                         
.'    \   .   /    `.         I WISH I COULD SERVICE        
|      ./###\.      |         MORE AT ONCE                  
 >---- |#####| ----<          BUT I HAVE CANCER             
|      `\###/'      |         (OF THE CUNT)                 
`.__ /    .    \ __.'                                       
   /|     |     |         PERHAPS THIS PICTURE              
  / `.___.^.___.'         WILL MAKE YOU GIVE IN             
 |                        SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR CUNT           
 |                        AND THE CANCER THEREIN            
  \                                                         
   \             )\         THINKING ABOUT YOU              
    `.          /' |        THIS TIME OF YEAR               
      \       /'   )        ALL THE BEST TO YOUR CUNT       
        \  /'    /'         FROM ALL OF US HERE             
         \(    /'                                           
          )  /'          WE WOULD SURE HATE                 
          | /'           IF IT WAS SEWN SHUT                
          |(  axiac      ____________________               
          ||             ____________________

#2226: ODE TO ____

Thu, 2005 Jul 28

best of, poem 

  /-_-\               A POEM FOR MY DEAREST FROM MOI:                  
 /  /  \                                                               
/  /    \             O FEMALE FORM WHO I ADORE / PUT THIS IN YOUR CUNT
\  \    /                                                              
 \__\__/              YES I KNOW / JUST IGNORE THE THORNS              
    \\                                                                 
    -\\    ____       ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING / TO MAKE IT SMELL BETTER    
      \\  /   /                                                        
____   \\/___/        LADY DON'T SEND MOVEON.ORG YOUR MONEY OR         
\   \ -//             PROTEST IN FRONT OF THE ABORTION CLINIC          
 \___\//-             JUST SPEND TEN MINUTES BUYING FLOWERS AND        
    -//               SHOVING THEM INTO YOUR CUNT                      
     \\                                                                
     //               WE TRIED USING WINDEX BUT THAT MADE THINGS       
    //-               WORSE                                            
  -//                                                                  
  //                  THE POLICE SAY IF I USE BLEACH AGAIN I GO BACK IN
  \\                                                                   
   \\                 ALSO DON'T DO THIS WHILE DRIVING OKAY THANKS

#2712: THE JERKING POEM

Sun, 2006 Nov 26

poem 

            ..:::::..          YOU JERK THAT THING 
          .:::::::::::.       YOU JUST JERK IT LIKE
         :::::::::::::::       THERE'S NO TOMORROW 
        :::::::::::::::::                          
        :::::::_/|:::::::     YOU JERK IT LIKE YOUR
         ::::=/_/:::::::       MOTHERFUCKING LIFE  
          `:_/ |::::::'       DEPENDED ON IT CHIEF 
       (   /  ,|:::''                              
        \_/^\/||__             YOU KEEP JERKING IT 
     _/~  `""~`"` \_           UNTIL I SAY STOP AND
  __/  -'/  `-._ `\_\__          I NEVER SAY STOP  
/jgs  /-'`  `\   \  \-.\                           
                               HOLY FUCKING CHRIST

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BY KEYWORD 2010, 24, 911, aaliyah, al gore, alien, all you have, anger*, anime, anna nicole smith, annie ascii, answer bear*, apollo, apple, aria giovanni, asia carrera, asperger, atari, babylon 5, battlefield, battlestar galactica, beatles, best of, best part, bionic woman, blank, blog, bobby brown, bravo, britney spears, bush, calvin, canada, cassini, chalkboard, chaps*, cheers, clam*, confessions*, conspiracy duck*, cosby, creampie, critic, crysis, dean, defcon, derek smart, desirae, dilbert, disney, doctor who, don't hate me, doom, dot, dune, eaten*, election 2004, election 2008, ellen degeneres, er, escher, everybody loves raymond, family guy, fear, figlet, flea*, fred friendly, freespace, french, friends, garfield, geography, german, gnutella, god help me, google, grand theft auto, gun free zones, haiku, half-life, halo, harry potter, henry, hershey*, hillary clinton, hulk, hurricane, ideograms, immigration, inconsolable, iphone, iraq, islam, jasmin st. claire, jerkcity, jesus, jody watley, john travolta, jon stewart, katamari, kirara, korean, law and order, left eye, linux, logo, lord of the rings, lottery, lyrics, macintosh, marilyn manson, mash, matrix, meme, memento, meta, michael jackson, michael moore, midori, milf, mormon, nabis, napster, nasa, nazi, nerd boy, nethack, newsgroup, niven, ocean's thirteen, onion, open source, original, orkut, p2p, pac-man, panther, particle, patriot act, peanuts, perl, perspective, please shut up*, pluto, poem, pokemon, poker, polyamory, pooh, porn, pornstar, portal, powerpuff, python, quake, quebec, queer eye, r. kelly, rape rays*, red dwarf, rent, richard stallman, roger ebert, ron paul, russian, sanrio, sarah silverman, saturday night live, scrubs, second life, sesame, sesame street, shitting, shuttle, simple, simpsons, skull, slashdot, south park, special, spice girls, spongebob, spore, star trek, star wars, starcraft, starship troopers, strike, tattoo, tax, tetris, thanksgiving, third rock, tlc, togos, tomb raider, tools*, topical, transsexual, transvestite, treo, true story, tsunami, twitter, understatement, usenet, vanessa del rio, vegan, west wing, wiccan*, wii, wiki, wikipedia, wishful thinking, witchblade, wolfenstein, word, wwjd, xbox, zombie*
TOYS
FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 3450
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (9.4 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips in the queue: 3 (0.4 weeks' worth)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, xkcd
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery