> HOME
> CURRENT
> RANDOM
> BEST OF
> RSS FEED
> CONTACT
    _    ____   ____ ___ ___      _         _     _____          _       
   / \  / ___| / ___|_ _|_ _|    / \   _ __| |_  |  ___|_ _ _ __| |_ ___ 
  / _ \ \___ \| |    | | | |    / _ \ | '__| __| | |_ / _` | '__| __/ __|
 / ___ \ ___) | |___ | | | |   / ___ \| |  | |_  |  _| (_| | |  | |_\__ \
/_/   \_\____/ \____|___|___| /_/   \_\_|   \__| |_|  \__,_|_|   \__|___/
"THINGS HAVE ESCALATED WAY PAST THUMB WARS HERE"
BY NUMBER <
BY TITLE <
BY DATE <
BY DAY <
BY CALENDAR <
BY KEYWORD <

2010 (6)
24 (8)
911 (30)
aaliyah (7)
adventure (3)
al franken (2)
al gore (2)
al qaeda (2)
alice cooper (2)
alien (4)
aliens colonial marines (2)
all you have (3)
allegra (2)
am i right (17)
amazon (2)
anal* (5)
android (2)
anger* (5)
anime (18)
anna nicole smith (3)
annie ascii (6)
answer bear* (3)
apollo (11)
apple (8)
aquatic* (5)
aria giovanni (4)
asia carrera (2)
asperger (19)
atari (4)
aurora jolie (2)
australia (3)
babylon 5 (3)
bailout (4)
battlefield (16)
battlestar galactica (8)
bbc (2)
beatles (2)
bejeweled (2)
berserkers (2)
best of (33)
best part (12)
beyonce (2)
bible (2)
bionic woman (2)
blank (3)
blog (52)
bob marley (2)
bobby brown (4)
bolo santosi (2)
boner* (3)
bravo (8)
brazil (4)
bright (2)
british (2)
britney spears (3)
brokeback mountain (2)
bush (6)
call of duty (7)
calvin (2)
camgirl (9)
canada (12)
carl sagan (2)
cassini (3)
census (2)
chalkboard (2)
chaps* (3)
charlie sheen (2)
cheers (2)
christmas (15)
clam* (3)
cold war (4)
communism (3)
confessions* (13)
conspiracy duck* (11)
contact (2)
cosby show (4)
cosmos (3)
counter-strike (3)
creampie (3)
critic (4)
crucicaption (6)
crysis (6)
daylight savings (2)
dean (32)
defcon (3)
derek smart (4)
desirae (2)
deus ex (3)
diabetes (4)
dickwolves (3)
die hard (4)
dilbert (6)
disney (25)
doctor who (3)
dont hate me (2)
doom (9)
dot (2)
douglas adams (2)
down syndrome (4)
dr. dre (2)
dr. who (2)
duke nukem (3)
dune (4)
eaten* (2)
einstein (2)
election 2004 (7)
election 2008 (33)
election 2010 (2)
election 2012 (9)
ellen degeneres (2)
er (2)
escher (2)
esperanto (2)
eve online (2)
everybody loves raymond (3)
facebook (9)
family guy (3)
far cry (2)
fear (2)
figlet (37)
filk (2)
flea* (5)
flintstones (3)
football (2)
fred friendly (3)
freespace (6)
french (12)
fresh air (2)
friends (3)
funyuns (2)
garfield (5)
geography (7)
german (24)
gianna michaels (4)
gloria steinem (2)
gnutella (2)
god help me (2)
google (5)
grand theft auto (10)
gun free zones (2)
haiku (9)
haiti (4)
half-life (10)
halloween (2)
halo (4)
ham (2)
hamas (2)
hangin with jesus* (5)
harry potter (4)
harvey milk (2)
henry* (5)
hershey* (3)
hillary clinton (2)
hippies (7)
hitler (2)
hulk (3)
hurricane (7)
ice cube (3)
id software (2)
ideograms (4)
immigration (4)
inconsolable (2)
india (2)
infocom (3)
intelligent design (3)
iphone (3)
iran (5)
iraq (17)
isaac newton (3)
islam (28)
israel (3)
james burke (2)
jasmin st. claire (2)
jave (8)
jeopardy (3)
jerkcity (2)
jesus (19)
jewish (2)
jfk (2)
jimmy carter (3)
jody watley (2)
john f. kennedy (3)
john travolta (2)
jon stewart (3)
joseph kony (2)
jupiter (2)
just cause (3)
kari byron (2)
katamari (3)
kelis (2)
kilroy (2)
kindle (4)
kirara (3)
kirstie alley (3)
kiwi (3)
korean (3)
lady diana (2)
lady gaga (2)
latin (2)
law and order (10)
left 4 dead (3)
left eye (4)
linux (6)
logo (16)
lord of the rings (4)
lost (2)
lottery (2)
lucy lee (2)
lyrics (23)
macintosh (6)
marilyn manson (3)
mariska hargitay (2)
mash (5)
mass effect (8)
math (4)
matrix (5)
me neither (4)
mel gibson (3)
meme (5)
memento (2)
meta (2)
michael jackson (9)
michael moore (5)
michelin (2)
midori (2)
milf (4)
minecraft (4)
minotaur* (2)
monads (2)
mormon (2)
msnbc (2)
muppets (4)
myfreecams (6)
mythbusters (2)
nabis (2)
napster (3)
nasa (8)
nazi (12)
nerd boy (9)
net neutrality (2)
nethack (4)
newsgroup (47)
newsradio (2)
niven (2)
nobel prize (4)
north korea (3)
npr (4)
obama (12)
oceans thirteen (2)
oj simpson (2)
okcupid (2)
olympics (3)
onion (3)
open source (10)
original (56)
orkut (2)
osama bin laden (6)
p2p (4)
pac-man (6)
pajamas media (4)
panther (4)
particle (2)
patriot act (2)
peanuts (15)
pearl harbor (3)
penn and teller (2)
penny arcade (2)
perl (2)
perspective (6)
petition (7)
playstation (2)
please shut up* (2)
plonk (5)
pluto (6)
poem (4)
pokemon (6)
poker (13)
polyamory (3)
pooh (8)
porn (46)
pornstar (65)
portal (7)
powerpuff (2)
proposal (2)
python (2)
quake (8)
quebec (2)
queer eye (3)
r. kelly (3)
rage (2)
rape rays* (3)
red bull (3)
red dwarf (2)
rent (2)
richard stallman (2)
rihanna (3)
roger ebert (7)
roman polanski (2)
ron paul (4)
russian (2)
safe word (3)
sanrio (4)
sarah silverman (2)
saturday night live (3)
saving grace (2)
science fact (3)
scrubs (4)
seaquest (2)
second life (2)
seinfeld (2)
sesame (7)
sesame street (3)
shakespeare (3)
shield (3)
shitting* (3)
shutdown (2)
simple (20)
simpsons (8)
skeptic (3)
skull (2)
slashdot (4)
smurfs (3)
soccer (6)
south park (4)
space shuttle (5)
special (2)
spice girls (4)
spongebob (2)
spore (2)
squirtle (2)
star trek (35)
star wars (20)
starcraft (4)
starship troopers (2)
steve jobs (2)
strike (2)
super bowl (3)
sweden (2)
swine flu (3)
tattoo (9)
tax (6)
ted (6)
ted kennedy (3)
tensor (3)
terry gross (2)
tetris (2)
thanksgiving (3)
they might be giants (2)
third rock (2)
tina fey (2)
tlc (3)
togos (2)
tomb raider (4)
tools* (2)
topical (215)
transsexual (2)
transvestite (3)
treo (3)
trilogy* (2)
true story (3)
truther (2)
tsunami (5)
twitter (12)
u2 (3)
understatement (5)
usenet (9)
ussr (4)
uwe boll (2)
vanessa del rio (2)
vectrex (2)
vegan (2)
west wing (12)
wiccan* (10)
wii (2)
wiki (2)
wikileaks (2)
wikipedia (38)
will.i.am (2)
windows (5)
wishful thinking (8)
witchblade (3)
wolfenstein (5)
woody allen (3)
word (113)
world cup (3)
world of warcraft (2)
world war ii (5)
wwjd (3)
wyclef jean (2)
x-men (2)
xbox (2)
xkcd (2)
youtube (8)
zombie* (7)
zynga (2)

#32: DOGBERT'S GRUMPY

Mon, 1999 Jul 26

dilbert

 (~'~~'~~'~~)  HOW ABOUT THOSE WACKY COMICS ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  
  |        |                                                 
  |        |    /                                            
  |       ~|~  /                 CRAM IT FUCKO        _ __   
  |-------()) /                                      ||  |   
  (        _)                               \      .'~\  /.  
  |        |                                 \   ()()__\/ ". 
  |        |                                  \  /*        " 
  ''..     |                                     |     //  | 
  |'..'---_/\                                    |    ()   | 
 /    ''---|| /\                                 ".       ." 
/     \    \\/\/                                   "..  ."\\ 
|  \  /     \_/                                      || |  ^ 
|   \/\\    | \-ABG                                 ((__)-ABG

#671: HEY SCOTT ADAMS

Wed, 2001 Apr 25

dilbert

  ,-.-.-.-,                        
   )     (                         
   |     |                         
   |_    |   SCOTT ADAMS SUCKS DICK
  /(_)---`\                        
 (_      -'                        
  ]      |                         
  |    _,')                        
  [_,-'_-'(                        
 (_).-'    \                       
/ /         .                      

#844: DILBERT

Mon, 2001 Oct 15

dilbert

       ,-.,-.,-.,-.             
       `7        .'             
        |        |              
        |      .-!.             
        |  .---|o||             
        | (C   `-'^.            
        |  `      _;            
        |        |              
       ("`--.  \_|              
       /`-._ `-._|        /\    
      /     `-._/=\      /`-\   
     /  /    \  >~7\     |`-|   
    /  |      | \-\ ;   /\ /    
   ;   `-j--f-'  \/`!__7\ y     
   |     |  |     `./_I_;'      
   |     |  |       ||          
   |     |  |       ||          
   |     |  |       ||          
   |     |  |_      ||          
   |____/   .-'_____|'          
       (/|||\\ | |              
                                
HERE WE SEE DILBERT AFTER SPYING
DOGBERT'S READY AND WILLING DONG
                                
        FUCKING FAGGOT          

#849: MORE LIKE DUNGBERT

Sat, 2001 Oct 20

dilbert

                       .,,cc,,,.                                 
                   ,c$$$$$$$$$$$$cc,                             
                ,c$$$$$$$$$$??""??$?? ..                         
             ,z$$$$$$$$$$$P xdMMbx  nMMMMMb                      
            r")$$$$??$$$$" dMMMMMMb "MMMMMMb                     
          r",d$$$$$>;$$$$ dMMMMMMMMb MMMMMMM.                    
         d'z$$$$$$$>'"""" 4MMMMMMMMM MMMMMMM>                    
        d'z$$$$$$$$h $$$$r`MMMMMMMMM "MMMMMM                     
        P $$$$$$$$$$.`$$$$.'"MMMMMP',c,"""'..                    
       d',$$$$$$$$$$$.`$$$$$c,`""_,c$$$$$$$$h                    
       $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$.`$$$$$$$$$$$"     "$$$h                   
      ,$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$%       `$$$L                  
      d$c`?$$$$$$$$$$P'z$$$$$$$$$$c       ,$$$$.                 
      $$$cc,"""""""".zd$$$$$$$$$$$$c,  .,c$$$$$F                 
     ,$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$                 
     d$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$c`?$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$                 
     ?$$$$$$$$$."$$$$$$c,`..`?$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.                
     <$$$$$$$$$$. ?$$$$$$$$$h $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$>                
      $$$$$$$$$$$h."$$$$$$$$P $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$>                
      `$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$",d$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$>                
       $$$$$$$$$$$$c`""""',c$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'                
       "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$F                 
        "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'                  
        ."?$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P'  FOR FUCK'S SAKE  
     ,c$$c,`?$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"  THE DONUT HOLE YOU 
   z$$$$$P"   ""??$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"  LEFT OUT LAST TUESDAY
,c$$$$$P"          .`""????????$$$$$$$$$$c  HAS SPOUTED LIMBS AND
`"""              ,$$$L.        "?$$$$$$$$$.  HAS FASHIONED      
               ,cd$$$$$$$$$hc,    ?$$$$$$$$$c  GLASSES FOR ITSELF
              `$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.    ?$$$$$$$$$h                   
               `?$$$$$$$$$$$$P      ?$$$$$$$$$                   
                 `?$$$$$$$$$P        ?$$$$$$$$$$$$hc             
                   "?$$$$$$"         <$$$$$$$$$$$$$$r  FUCKING   
                     `""""           <$$$$$$$$$$$$$$F  KILL IT   
                                      $$$$$$$$$$$$$F             
                                      `?$$$$$$$$P"               
                                        "????""                  

#1129: A NEW KIND OF BRAGGING

Sat, 2002 Jul 27

dilbert

         .-'''-.    WELP !!!!! TIME TO READ A NEW KIND OF SCIENCE
       .~       \    AND BE IMPRESSED WITH HOW SMART STEPHEN     
    _\/___________    WOLFRAM THINKS HE IS                       
     (    |   |\  |                                              
      |   |___|_|_|  /                                           
      |       __ |                                               
      |       \/ |    OOOO                                       
      |          |    (  )                                       
      ========()==     | |                                       
     /        /\  \--;_| |                                       
    /         /|   | |__/                                        
   /_____/ __/ |   |-|                                           
    /    ~~  ) |   |                                             
((  ~------..)/    |                                             
     |         |   |                                             
     |         |   /                                             
     \_________|__/__                                            
      |              \                                           
      \               |                                          
       \__________    |                                          
            |    /   /                                           
            |   /   /                                            
            |  /___/                                             
           /   /_/..                                             
           |  /     ~'-                                          
           |  ----..   )                                         
           |    |   ~~~                                          
           |____|                                                
            |__|                                                 
            /  '-----.                                           
            |________/ -ABG                                      

#3590: A TYPICAL DAY AT THE OFFICE

Wed, 2009 Apr 22

dilbert

   _ _ _ _ _                                                                  
  ( " " " " )                    .gggppp.   NO I                              
   l       :  I'M A             :$P_  _T$;  AM              WHATEVS I'M       
   |       |  FAGGOT            (  ,  .  )                  SUCKING BOTH      
   |      _|                     ; '--' :  /                YOUR COCKS        
   |_   _/ l)_  /                ;  -- ):                                     
   |(""" `-'  l                  "------"t-.                  \      ___      
   |-'      _.'                 /"j-.-,t' \ \                   .-.C'   "..'  
   |        ;                  / .^./ :_"-.\ ;                  ;' ;":--._;-  
   :        :      .'.  ______j____J____t___Lj________          :_ :_;   ))   
   :"-.__    t  .-.|  ;/       ,-+. ,-----.           \         : "      ";   
   :"--._"""/ \/  :\ //        :  : |      \           \   _____;C   )    ;   
  .;     ""-`t'\.'\\Y/          ""  |_______;          _j / _| /-.-._____:    
 / ;      `. '-/ _///  ,--------.   |_     _:         /  """jj'/-/.____.-:    
: :   \     ;.' /\"y  /         /l  |-"""""-;        /      : / /_  .     ;-. 
; :    \   /   /  /  /_        / ;   """""""        :    ___:/ // )'      :  ;
; ;     \.'"--'  /   \ """""--: /                   |"""" _.; /(.-\    /  :  :
; ;             /    /""""---(|/                    | )--|  """"_.-`..'   ;  :
; :            /     """""----'                     '--..'--""t"         :   ;
:  ;          /                                                \         ;  : 
 ; :.__      /                                                  \       /   ; 
 :  `^$$$pppy                                                    tp._.gj   /  
  `.   "^$$P                                                      T$$^'  .'   
    ""--._/ bug                                                    \__.-"     

FART BACK
IS THIS ALL THERE IS?
CHAT#AAF @ EFnet on IRC
FOLLOW NEW!Conspiracy Duck @ Twitter
TOYS
FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Wed, 2014 Mar 19)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe