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#1528: IT'S THE ANSWER BEAR II

Sat, 2003 Aug 30

answer bear*, creampie

DEAR ANSWER BEAR                           
                                           
LONG TIME LISTENER FIRST TIME CALLER       
                                           
MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN GOING OUT     
FOR ALMOST SIX MONTHS AND FINALLY TODAY    
HE SAID HE WANTED TO GO "ALL THE WAY"      
AND EVEN THOUGH I'M VERY RELIGIOUS I       
THOUGHT YOU KNOW I SHOULD PROBABLY PUT     
OUT OR THE GUY'S GOING TO GO HIRE SOME     
PROSTITUTES                                
                                           
ANYWAY SO WE PICK A NIGHT AND MUCH TO MY   
SURPRISE I FIND OUT THAT "ALL THE WAY"     
MEANS HORRIBLE FISTING, ANAL, CREAMPIES,   
BUKKAKE, AND MUD FUN FOR SIX HOURS STRAIGHT
                                           
NEEDLESS TO SAY I'M FILTHY, STICKY,        
STRETCHED OUT, AND GLAZED LIKE A FAT HAM   
BUT MY REAL CONCERN IS WHETHER OR NOT I CAN
CHANGE HIM AND MOLD HIM TO MY WILL ??????? 
I KNOW HE HAS A GOOD HEART BUT BOY HE SURE 
LIKES BRINGING ANIMALS INTO THE BEDROOM    
                                           
WHAT SHOULD I DO ????                      
                                           
SIGNED, TWATSIE FROM TULSA                 
                                           
                                           
THE ANSWER BEAR ANSWERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
                                           
     ,^~~~-.         .-~~~"-.              
    :  .--. \       /  .--.  \             
    : (    .-`<^~~~-: :    )  :            
    `. `-,~            ^- '  .'            
      `-:                ,.-~              
       .'                  `.              
      ,'   @   @            |              
      :    __               ;              
   ...{   (__)          ,----.             
  /   `.              ,' ,--. `.           
 |      `.,___   ,      :    : :           
 |     .'    ~~~~       \    / :           
  \.. /               `. `--' .'           
     |                  ~----~             
     |  SELL YOURSELF FOR  |               
     |   CRACK YOU WHORE   |               

#2437: CREAMPIE

Fri, 2006 Feb 24

creampie

        _,..---..,_        WHAT'S BETTER THAN A CREAMPIE ?!?!?!?
    ,-"`    .'.    `"-,                                         
   ((      '.'.'      ))                                        
    `'-.,_   '   _,.-'`                                         
jgs   `\  `"""""`  /`      AN ____ CREAMPIE                     
        `""-----""`                                             

#3124: ANAL CREAMPIE

Sat, 2008 Jan 12

creampie

            (               ANAL CREAMPIE IS NOT A FOOD SIR        
             )                                                     
        __..---..__                                                
    ,-='  /  |  \  `=-.                                            
   :--..___________..--;                                           
RR  \.,_____________,./     BOY HOWDY DID I LEARN THAT THE HARD WAY

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  • number of strips: 5372
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