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#1380: IMAC

Fri, 2003 Apr 4

apple

            _.-----.....___                                                
         .-":     .- .     """"-._                                         
       .: ..'         '           "-._      I'M OPERATED BY A MORON        
       :|"|:     :     '              "-.                                  
      .:| |:          ' -  .             "-.                               
      :|  |:     :    '- '                 \"-.                            
     .:| |:'          '    .'"-.            "-\"-.                         
     :|  |:      :    '- -'.    '.             "-,"-.                      
     :|  |:          '       "    :               "-."-.                   
    .:| .::     :    '        '   '.                 "-.".                 
    :|  |:'          '         `   :                    "-:.               
    :|  |:      :    '           -=-                        '.             
    :|  |:           '              '                         '.           
   .:| .':      :    '                :    - -               _ -'.         
   :|  |:'          '                 :- -" " "-      _  -        '.       
   :|  |:      :    '                 :       . -  "                '.     
   :| .|:           '               . '  . -                    _ - "'.    
  .:' |.:      :    '              . -                    _ - "       '.   
  :|  |:'           '         . -                   _ - "               :  
  :|  |:       :    '    . -                  _ - "                     ': 
 .:| .':             ' '                _ - "                            '.
 :.' |.:      :                   _ - "                                   :
 :|  |:'                    _ - "                                         :
 :'--':       :       _ - "               ____                     _  _  : 
.:    :         _ - "                 _==:____"-.               .'      .' 
:""--.: _ . - "                   _.-"           :              '. _  _.'  
:    :'"                       .-" .__.       ::  :                   .'   
:    :                        .' O |||| [] == LJ  :                 .'     
:==  :                        :    '""'    ==  _.-'             _.-"       
'.   :                        '. O    o o  _.-"             _.-"           
 :   '.                         :      _.-"             _.-"               
 :    :                          `._.-"             _.-"                   
  '-._:.                                        _.-"                       
     /""'-._                                _.-"                           
     "-._/_.'"----....___________________.-"/grp                           
         "                               """                               

#1611: SWITCH

Fri, 2003 Nov 21

apple

                   __________________________                           
           __..--/".'                        '.                         
   __..--""      | |                          |  I THINK WHAT YOU GUYS  
  /              | |                          |  ARE FAILING TO REALIZE 
 /               | |    ___________________   |  IS THAT MACINTOSH IS   
;                | |   :__________________/:  |  SO MUCH EASIER THAN    
|                | |   |                 '.|  |  WINDOWS THAT WINDOWS   
|                | |   |                  ||  |  LAN ADMINISTRATORS AND 
|                | |   |                  ||  |  PROGRAMMERS BY TRADE   
|                | |   |                  ||  |  ARE SWITCHING TOO      
|                | |   |                  ||  |                         
|                | |   |                  ||  |  YES I'M AWARE THIS JOKE
|                | |   |                  ||  |  IS A YEAR OLD          
|                | |   |                  ||  |                         
|                | |   |______......-----"\|  |                         
|                | |   |_______......-----"   |                         
|                | |                          |                         
|                | |                          |                         
|                | |                  ____----|                         
|                | |_____.....----|#######|---|                         
|                | |______.....----""""       |                         
|                | |                          |                         
|. ..            | |   ,                      |                         
|... ....        | |  (c ----- """           .'                         
|..... ......  |\|_|    ____......------"""|"                           
|. .... .......| |""""""                   |                            
'... ..... ....| |                         |                            
  "-._ .....  .| |                         |                            
      "-._.....| |             ___...---"""'                            
          "-._.| | ___...---"""                                         
              """""             grp                                     

#1973: DOGCOW

Wed, 2004 Nov 17

apple

                   __________________________                   
           __..--/".'                        '.                 
   __..--""      | |                          |   IF YOU FAGGOTS
  /              | |                          |   LOVINGLY TELL 
 /               | |    ___________________   |   THE STORY OF  
;                | |   :__________________/:  |   THE "DOGCOW"  
|                | |   |                 '.|  |   ONE MORE TIME 
|                | |   |                  ||  |   THEN *FOOMP*  
|                | |   |                  ||  |   WORLD WAR III 
|                | |   |                  ||  |                 
|                | |   |                  ||  |                 
|                | |   |                  ||  |                 
|                | |   |                  ||  |                 
|                | |   |                  ||  |                 
|                | |   |______......-----"\|  |                 
|                | |   |_______......-----"   |                 
|                | |                          |                 
|                | |                          |                 
|                | |                  ____----|                 
|                | |_____.....----|#######|---|                 
|                | |______.....----""""       |                 
|                | |                          |                 
|. ..            | |   ,                      |                 
|... ....        | |  (c ----- """           .'                 
|..... ......  |\|_|    ____......------"""|"                   
|. .... .......| |""""""                   |                    
'... ..... ....| |                         |                    
  "-._ .....  .| |                         |                    
      "-._.....| |             ___...---"""'                    
          "-._.| | ___...---"""                                 
              """""             grp                             

#2330: A BRILLIANT MARKETING CAMPAIGN IF EVER THERE WAS ONE

Wed, 2005 Nov 9

apple

                           .                                           
                         .OO                                           
                       .OOOO                                           
                      .OOOO'                                           
                      OOOO'          .-~~~~-.                          
                      OOO'          /   (o)(o)                         
              .OOOOOO `O .OOOOOOO. /      .. |                         
          .OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO/\    \____/                         
        .OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO/ \\   ,\_/                           
       .OOOOOOO%%OOOOOOOOOOOOO(#/\     /.                              
      .OOOOOO%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\ \\  \/OO.                             
     .OOOOO%%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\   \/OOOO.                            
     OOOOO%%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\_\/\OOOOO                            
     OOOOO%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\###)OOOO                            
     OOOOOO%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO                            
     OOOOOOO%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO                            
     `OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'                            
   .-~~\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'                            
  / _/  `\(#\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'                             
 / / \  / `~~\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'                              
|/'  `\//  \\ \OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'   THOMAS ALVA EDIBUHHHHHHHHHHH
       `-.__\_,\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'    PABLO PICASUHHHHHHHHHHHHH    
      jgs  `OO\#)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'    ALBERT UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH        
             `OOOOOOOOO''OOOOOOOOO'                                    
               `""""""'  `""""""'      THINKING DIFFERENT              

#3880: IPAD

Sat, 2010 Feb 6

apple, kindle

                   _                                           
            .--,-"" ""-.                                       
           (            )                                      
            j-  __.    |    I GUESS NOW THAT THE IPAD'S        
            |  '     -'|     BEEN ANNOUNCED AND IS BORING      
            |`--._____,+-.                                     
          .';`--.___.'    `.   AMAZON CAN UNCLENCH ITS BUTTOCKS
        .'         /    _  |                                   
       /        ,-' _.-'o;__\                                  
      (           .' o.-'  \)`.                                
       `j--..___.'   '     /   )                               
      (/   _    `-._    `-/`--' ,----.                         
      (.'   `--. `. `-._.'`._,-<o ===|                         
     .'         \  `.  /\`./`.  `----'                         
   .'            |   `' _\,() \                                
 .'          ;_)      ()___/   \                               
/   `._____.'             |     \                              
\       /    =====.       \  _   `.                            
 `.____/  /        \     __\/()    \                           
     .'  (          )  ()____/     .'                          
    /     `---    -'        |\   .'                            
    `---.___                | `-'                              
          .-`--.________.---'`.                                
       .-'              /      \                               
      /               .'        \                              
     /            _.-'\          |                             
     |  `-.____.-'     `.        ; .-""-.                      
     |      |            `.      ,'     |                      
     \      |              \            /                      
      `.___.'               `.         /                       
                        hjw   \      .'                        
                               `.__.'                          

#4466: PADD

Thu, 2011 Sep 15

apple, star trek

 +-'~`---------------------------------/\--                                  
||"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \\\\\\  \/~)                              
||                                  \\\\\\  \/_                              
 |~~~~~~~~-________________-_________________\ ~--_                          
 !---------|_________       ------~~~~~(--   )--~~                           
                     \ /~~~~\~~\   )--- \_ /(                                
                      ||     |  | \   ()   \\                                
                      \\____/_ / ()\        \\                               
                       `~~~~~~~~~-. \        \\                              
                                   \ \  <($)> \\                             
   TURN YOUR IPAD INTO A GENUINE    \ \        \\                            
   PADD FROM STAR TREK, COMPLETE     \ \        \\                           
   WITH TONS OF DATA ABOUT THE SHOW   \ \        \\                          
                                       \ \  ()    \|                         
   THEN MAKE YOURSELF A NICE LAST      _\_\__====~~~                         
   MEAL, TAKE A NICE HOT BATH WITH                                           
   LOTS OF BUBBLES AND SCENTED CANDLES,                                      
   AND THEN SLICE THE FUCKING VEINS OPEN IN YOUR WRIST AND TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE
                                                                             
   (CUT DOWN NOT ACROSS)                                                     

#4647: WHAT THIS GAME REALLY NEEDS

Wed, 2012 Mar 14

apple, steve jobs

--------------------------------------------------------   
       1 U P      H I G H   S C O R E                      
 ______3_4_0-0._________5_0_0_0_0_______.--.___________    
[%%%%%%%%%%[CJ]%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%[CJ]%%%%%%%%%%%]   
/"\        A                                         /"\   
===       /_\                              A         ===   
\_/                        __             /_\        \_/   
|%|            __  __  __ [%%] __  __  __            |%|   
/"\        __ [##][##][##][%%][@@][@@][@@] __        /"\   
===       [##][##][##][__][__][__][@@][@@][@@]       ===   
\_/    __ [##][##][__][__][__][__][__][@@][@@] __    \_/   
|%|   [##][##][##][__][__][__][__][__][@@][@@][@@]   |%|   
|%|   [##][##][##][__][__][__][__][__][@@][@@][@@]   |%|   
/"\   [##][##][##][__][__][__][__][__][@@][@@][@@]   /"\   
===   [%%]        [%%]    [%%]    [%%]        [%%]   ===   
\_/                       [%%]                       \_/   
|%|                       [%%]                       |%|   
|%|                __     [%%]                       |%|   
/"\               [%%] __ [%%]                       /"\   
===               [%%][%%][%%]                       ===   
\_/                   [%%]                           \_/   
|%|                                O                 |%|   
|%|                                                  |%|   
/"\                                                  /"\   
===                                                  ===   
\_/                                                  \_/   
|%|                                                  |%|   
/"\                      ______                      /"\   
===                     (______)                     ===   
\_/                                                  \_/   
|%| {=}{=}                                           |%|   
-------------------------------------------------------- CJ
                                                           
WHAT THIS GAME REALLY NEEDS IS A HIDDEN TRIBUTE STEVE JOBS 

#4692: IBANK

Sat, 2012 Apr 28

apple, iphone

CHECK OUT THE NEW IBANK APP AT THE APPLE STORE                              
IT AUTOMATICALLY DEBITS YOUR BANK ACCOUNT $0.99 SEVERAL TIMES A DAY         
FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON                                                    
                                                                            
BUT IT'S PART OF THE ***CLOUD***                                            
                                                                            
,--------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| OV"|OOOOOOOO> U N I T E D  S T A T E S   OF  A M E R I C A <OOOOOOOV"|OO |
| OO |OOOOOOOOOOOOmmmmOOOOOOmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmOOOOOOOmmmmOOOOOOOOOOOOO |OO |
| OO_|OO@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OO_|OO |
| OOOOO@6@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@'"           "`@@@@@@@@@@F@81497973A@@OOOOOO |
| OO@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@`  ,,:@@@@@@*.    `@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OO |
| OOO@@@@@' _`@@@@@@@@@@@@@`  W@@@@@@@@@@@;    `@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@6@@@@@@OOO |
| OOO@@@@' |_ `@@@@@@@@@@@'  (@@@@@;--;;--@'    `@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OOO |
| OOO@@@@. |  .@@@@@@@@@@@   (@@@@  @  \@ ;@     @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OOO |
| OOO@@@@@,  ,@@@@@@@@@@@@   (@@@@     _\ }@     @@@@@@@@'==`@@@@@@@@@@OOO |
| OOO@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@.    \_@;;; __ ;;     .@@@@@@@@./\,@@@@@@@@@@OOO |
| OO@@@@@F@81497973A@@@@@@@.   ,;;\_ .__/;,    .@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OO |
| OOOOOO@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@. ,;;;\  , /;;;; .@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OOOOOO |
| OV"|OO@@@6@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@. Washington .@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@6@@@OV"IOO |
| OO |OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IOO |
| OO_|OOOOOOOOOOOOOO>   O  N  E     D  O  L  L  A  R   <OOOOOOOOOOOOOO_IOO |
`--------------------------------------------------------------------------'
                                                    -Phoenix-               

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  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Sat, 2018 Sep 15)
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