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#919: SISKEL AND EBERT

Sat, 2001 Dec 29

roger ebert

       xxxxxxx                 mmmmmmmmmmmm    
      xxx   xxx               mmm        mmm   
 xxxxxxx     xxxxxxx         mm            mm  
 xx   xxx   xxx   xx         mm            mm  
xx     xxxxxxx     xx       mm              mm 
 xx   xxxxxxxxx   xx        mm              mm 
  xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx         mm              mm 
        xxxxx               mm              mm 
        xxxxx              UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
        xxxxx              UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
        xxxxx              UUUUUUUUU   UUUUUUUU
        xxxxx              UUUUUUUU     UUUUUUU
        xxxxx              UUUUUUUUU   UUUUUUUU
        xxxxx               UUUUUUUI   IUUUUUU 
        xxxxx               UUUUUUUI   IUUUUUU 
     xxxxxxxx                UUUUUUUuuuUUUUUU  
     xxxxxxxx                 UUUUUUUUUUUUUU   
        xxxxx                                  
     xxxxxxxx                                  
     xxxxxxxx pm                               
        xxxxx                                  
                                               
  SISKEL AND EBERT WOULD CALL THIS ATTEMPT     
  FEEBLE AND INDICATIVE OF SERIOUS SHORTCOMINGS
  IN ARTISTIC INTEGRITY                        
                                               
  WELL THAT FAT ONE WOULD ANYWAY THE SKINNY ONE
  FINALLY SUCCUMBED TO AIDS                    
                                               
  COME TO THINK OF IT I THINK THE FAT ONE HAS  
  AIDS TOO HE JUST EATS MORE                   

#2069: ROGER EBERT'S SIDEKICK

Mon, 2005 Feb 21

roger ebert

                 _..--.---.._                                         
               ,'     :      '.                                       
             .'        ;       '.   HOW COME NOBODY'S HACKING ROGER   
           ,'         :          \   EBERT'S SIDEKICK TO GET HIS      
          /        .''^''.        \   REVIEWS BEFORE THEY'RE          
        .'     .-``       ``-.     \   PUBLISHED IN THE SUN-TIMES ????
     ,-`      ',--.._   _..--.'     `.                                
    /        / `. (O)/ \(O) .' \      '.                              
   (  .'     )/'.`--`( )`--` .\(    '.  )                             
    \/   .'.'  ) '.  .--.  .' .' '. '.\/                              
     (  /./ \//\.'/'-.__.-'\ (\\/).\\)                                
      \/(///_.-' `.        .'))/`-.\/^.^.^..                          
         ,-'       `._  _.'       .' \ \ \ \\                         
        `.            \/        .'  \| ^ ^ ,'                         
       /  `.                   (     `...,'                           
      |     \,                  \    |   '                            
      '      )                   |   |    \                           
     /      /\                   /   /    '                           
,.^.^.^.^. /  |     _,.^.._     / \       |                           
)| ' | | |/    \,--'       `--.'   \      ;                           
 '.      /|     |             |     '     |                           
   `-^-^'/                       LGB \    /                           
    `---'                             `--'                            

#2324: THROAT CANCER

Thu, 2005 Nov 3

roger ebert

      #####                                          
     / #####    IS IT JUST ME OR HAVE ROGER EBERT'S  
    [===####    MOVIE REVIEWS GOTTEN LESS INTERESTING
   /_   )###    NOW THAT HIS THROAT CANCER DUMPED HIM
    |_   ##                                          
     L / |                                           
  _.-'   `-._                                        
 /           \                                       
 | Y       Y |                                       
 | |       | |                                       
 | |       | |                                       
 | |       | |                                       
 | )       ( |                                       
 . (   Y   ) ,                                       
[~~~~~~~~~~~~~|                                      
|  _________  |                                      
| | | | | | | |                                      
| | | | | | | |                                      
| | ( ) ( ) | |                                      
| | ) ( ) ( | |                                      
| |-._)_(_.-| |                                      
|  _________  |                                      
| |         | |                                      
| |         | |                                      
| |         | |                                      
|_|       dp|_|                                      

#2460: ROGER EBERT ON WAR MOVIES

Sun, 2006 Mar 19

roger ebert

                                       _,.          ___.    .           
     ____        ,._               --=:_ *: ======((|_L]_   \\ cjr      
   c:____]((=-  :* _:=- - - - -         `'       (__(____)   \\         
    / //   ___   `' ,._                                       \\___.    
   / //  _/_/_]=== :* _:=--          ,.          ___.        _((|_L]_   
 _/ //_.(_(_)(_)..  `'           --=: *: ======((|_L]_     _/(__(\_ _)\_
/____\_\          `....              `'       (__(____)                 
                                                                        
     ROGER EBERT WOULDN'T KNOW A GOOD WAR MOVIE IF IT GAVE HIM CANCER   
                                                                        
      YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I SAID IT                                       
                                                                        
       I CAN GO FROM ZERO TO COMPLETE PRICK IN SIXTY SECONDS            

#2916: EVIL GHOST

Mon, 2007 Jun 18

roger ebert

     ___                                                     
    /   \                                                    
   / O O \                                                   
  |   O   |      Q: WHO TURNED ROGER EBERT INTO AN EVIL GHOST
, |       | ,                                                
 \/(     )\/                                                 
  | )   ( |                                                  
  |(     )|                                                  
  ||   | |'                                                  
  `|   | |       A: ROB SCHNEIDER                            
   |   | |                                                   
   |   /-'                                                   
   |_.' VK                                                   

#3219: CREEPY GHOST

Wed, 2008 Apr 16

roger ebert

              .o######0o.                                                     
             0###########0.      .                                            
            o####" "######0.    (## m#o                                       
            ####(    ######0  ._ ##.##"nn    THIS JUST IN                     
            0####o   ###" ## (##o.######"                                     
    o00o.    0#####o,##. ,#"  "#######(       ROGER EBERT STILL A CREEPY GHOST
  .0#####0.   0###########0     ########                                      
 .0#######0.   "0#########"  _.o###'"00"                                      
.0###########o._ ""################       _  .                                
0####" "#########################0      .0#0n0                                
#####.   ""#####################"    _  0#####                                
0#####.     "###################._.o##o.#####"                                
"0#####..##mn ""#############################                                 
  "0#######""_    ""##################"#####"                                 
     ""####m###m      ""############"   ####                                  
    .########"""         .########"     "##"                                  
    ####"##"###o        (0######"        ""                                   
    "##".###,##     .o#o ""####.                                              
         "##"      .0############.                                            
                 .n##RADIUS#######                                            

#4045: VIDEO GAMES WILL NEVER BE AS WORTHY AS MOVIES

Wed, 2010 Jul 21

roger ebert

     ___ ____   ________                                              
   ,"_ ,`==='`.'__....__`--.                                          
 ,',' |      ,o@@@@@@@@@@o. \                                         
, /___|     d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@b \    ROGER EBERT IS A FAT OLD COOT WHOSE 
||   "|    d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@b|    ONLY REAL ARTISTIC ACCOMPLISHMENT IS
|| ()||   ,@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@:    WRITING HORRIBLY SHITTY BIG TIT PORN
|| , ||   @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@    (THIS IS WHY GOD STOLE HIS CHIN)    
||(|)||   '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@//D                                        
|| ' ||    '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/@P                                         
|| , ||     `@@@@@@@@@@@@/@'|                                         
||(|)|| CCD   `@@@@@@@@@@'  |                                         
|| ' | '----------'"""""_,  |                                         
|| , |`.    S O N Y   |     |                                         
:|(|)| |              |     |                                         
`|  '| ::............::     ,     SO WHY DOES ANYONE GIVE A SHIT WHAT 
 |\__| ::::::::::::::::----"      HE THINKS ABOUT VIDEO GAMES ??????? 
 :     '::::::::::::::'                                               
  \                 ;   Bob_R                                         
   `---------------"                                                  

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