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#132: THE PROPOSAL

Wed, 1999 Nov 3

proposal

           (()                 
          /|||\                
         (()))))      WILL YOU 
         (|( */       MARRY ME 
FUCKING  ))( ,`                
  QUEER  (|)())                
         ( ) \  o     ,....,   
         /,  _) (\_   |:::::   
        .\\__|   \ \  (:::::   
         /\\ |    \_\  \;;;    
        (  |)|     \ \__)_(__  
         |   |      \        ) 
         |   |       \       | 
         |   |    __  |     :/ 
         |   |   |  \ |_____|  
         |   |   |   \/     |  
         |___|   | \     |  )  
          I\__\ _|  |.___._.'_ 
                \`--, (_____( )
       Sher^     `''        |_|

#498: DREDS

Fri, 2000 Nov 3

            ,  ,, ,                                     
      , ,; ; ;;  ; ;  ;                                 
   , ; ';  ;  ;; .-''\ ; ;                              
, ;  ;`  ; ,; . / /8b \ ; ;   CHECK OUT MY AWESOME DREDS
`; ; .;'         ;,\8 |  ;  ;                           
 ` ;/   / `_      ; ;;    ;  ; ;                        
    |/.'  /9)    ;  ; `    ;  ; ;                       
   ,/'          ; ; ;  ;   ; ; ; ;                      
  /_            ;    ;  `    ;  ;                       
 `?8P"  .      ;  ; ; ; ;     ;  ;;                     
 | ;  .:: `     ;; ; ;   `  ;  ;                        
 `' `--._      ;;  ;;  ; ;   ;   ;                      
  `-..__..--''   ; ;    ;;   ; ;   ;                    
              ;    ; ; ;   ;     ;   fL                 

#863: FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION

Sat, 2001 Nov 3

sanrio

                                                   __                  
                                                 d888b                 
                                                888888b                
                                                8888888                
                                                8888888                
                                                8888888                
                                     _          8888888                
                                   ,d88         8888888                
                            ____  d88' _,,      888888'                
                           (8888b 88' d888)     Y8888P                 
                           ___~~8 ~8  88~___    d8888                  
  _______              ,8888888        ~ 888888_8888                   
88888888888888888888888'                        `88b                   
8888888888888888888888Y                          Y88                   
`~888888888888~~~~~ 88                            88                   
    ~~~~~~~~        88                            88                   
                    88                            88                   
                    88                            88                   
                    88                            88                   
                    88    ,aa.            ,aa.    88                   
                    88    d88b            d88b    88                   
                  ,a88    Y88P            Y88P    88a,                 
                ,d88P'     `'     _aa_     `'     `Y88b,     ___       
                88P'             (8888)             `Y88  ad88888b     
                88                ~^^~                88 d88P~~"Y8b    
         _______"Yb._                              _.d8"d8P      88    
 ______,d88888888ba888a,.______________________.,a8888~d88_______88___ 
|~~~~~~88P~~~~~~Y88~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
|      88        88                                                   |
|      88        88    WILL FUCKING SUCK COCK                         |
|      88ba,___,d8P                    FOR FOOD                       |
|       "888888888                       OR AT LEAST DRUGS            |
|          ~~~~~~                                                     |

#1228: V

Sun, 2002 Nov 3

          __..--.                                   _.._          
   _..--''_______|-._____  ______________________|``  __``--.._   
  '-.-..---..---..---..--''.---..---..---..---..---..---..---.-'  
    |_::___::___::___::___::___::___::___::___::___::___::___|    
    |________________________________________________________|    
    '.--.':'.--.' '.--.'  '.--.'  '.--.'  '.--.' '.--.' '.--.'    
     |''|.|.|''|-. |''|    |''|    |''|    |''|   |''|.|.|''|     
     |''|.| |''| | |''|    |''|    |''|    |''|   |''| |.|''|     
     |''|.|.|''| | |''|    |''|    |''|    |''| _,|''|.|.|''|     
     |''|.| |''|.| |''|    |''|    |''|    |''|/ .|''| |.|''|     
     |''|.|.|''| |_|''|`.__|''|,--'|''|``-.|''|   |''|.|.|''|     
     |''|.| |''| |.|''| |  |''|  __|''|   ||''|.  |''| |.|''|     
     |''|.|.|''| | |''| |  |''| |  |''|   ||''|   |''|.|.|''|     
     |''|.| |''|.| |''| |  |''| |  |''|   ||''|  .|''| |.|''|     
     |''|.|.|''| | |''| |__|''|_|__|''|___||''|   |''|.|.|''|     
     |''|_|_|__| |.|''|'   |''|    |''|    |''|-._|''| |.|''|     
     |'/  )| | ||  |''|    |''|    |''|    |''|   |''|'|.|''|     
   .-'|`-' | | ||--''''----''''----''''----''''---''''---''''-.   
 .'---|| | | |,''--.,-------------------.----------------------'. 
'-----|| | | /  - - - - - - - - ,---. -  \-----------------------'
      || | | : _ _,---._ _ _ _ _`._.'_ _ :                     SSt
      ||_|_|_\  _ `---' _ _ _ ,._ _ _ _  /                        
              `--------------'--`-------'                         
                                                                  
      OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY NOT YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT THAT DIANA       
         FROM V: THE ORIGINAL SERIES WAS PRETTY DAMN HOT          

#1593: MALARIA

Mon, 2003 Nov 3

    __                                          
       \/.--,                                   
       //_.'                                    
  .-""-/""-.     I HAVE MALARIA                 
 /       __ \                                   
/        \\\ \   WHICH WHEN LITERALLY TRANSLATED
|         || |   MEANS "BAD DICK"               
\            /                                  
\  \         /                                  
 \  '-      /                                   
  '-.__.__.'     sjw                            

#1959: DEAR PORNOGRAPHERS

Wed, 2004 Nov 3

porn

                                        _________                    .
       _____  _______________________,-" ________\_________________.'|
       |   ,`'-------------------------,"                |       | | |
  _,--.`--"-----------.--------------""                  |       | | |
 |#|==|       |       |              `-._____________    |       | | |
 |#|==|       |       |                  _  _ _  _ _ `.  |       | | |
 |#|==|     __|       |                 '-.: ;|\| V    \_|_______,'`.|
 |#|==|    |--| _  _  | ##== O          `"  " ' ' '     \     |      `
 |#|==|    |[]|:_;: : |                                  \    |       
 |#|==|    |--|:_;:_;X|---------_________________________|    |       
 |#|==|    |__| ......|________|/     DigitalHandycam    |    |       
 |#|==|       |       |        '                         |    |       
 |#|==|       |       |        |    .----------------.   |    |       
 |#|==|       |       |   .----|    | ,,,,,,,,,,,.   |   |    |       
   `--'--------.""""""|   |    |    | ############   |   |    |       
        _;-----"-----'|   |    |    |________________|   |    |       
       :::  ,.        |   |____|    Digital8  .........  |    |       
       :::  ||        `        \\                        |    |       
       :::  ||         \________\\_______________________;____;       
       `::  "'  ==                                       ;            
          `.____________________________________________;    Bob_R    
                                                                      
                                                                      
DEAR PRODUCERS OF BIG NATURALS, CUMFIESTA, AND ALL THAT OTHER SHIT:   
                                                                      
  PLEASE CEASE AND DESIST YOUR RUNNING COMMENTARY ABOUT THE GUY YOU   
  KNOW POUNDING THE STUPID WHORE YOU PAID                             
                                                                      
  WE'RE ALL AWARE OF WHAT'S GOING ON WE HAVE EYES AND RIGHT HANDS     
                                                                      
  YOU THINK YOU'RE REALLY CLEVER BUT WHY HAVE YOU NOT REALIZED THAT   
  YOU ARE LIKE KRYPTONITE TO A BONER                                  

#2324: THROAT CANCER

Thu, 2005 Nov 3

roger ebert

      #####                                          
     / #####    IS IT JUST ME OR HAVE ROGER EBERT'S  
    [===####    MOVIE REVIEWS GOTTEN LESS INTERESTING
   /_   )###    NOW THAT HIS THROAT CANCER DUMPED HIM
    |_   ##                                          
     L / |                                           
  _.-'   `-._                                        
 /           \                                       
 | Y       Y |                                       
 | |       | |                                       
 | |       | |                                       
 | |       | |                                       
 | )       ( |                                       
 . (   Y   ) ,                                       
[~~~~~~~~~~~~~|                                      
|  _________  |                                      
| | | | | | | |                                      
| | | | | | | |                                      
| | ( ) ( ) | |                                      
| | ) ( ) ( | |                                      
| |-._)_(_.-| |                                      
|  _________  |                                      
| |         | |                                      
| |         | |                                      
| |         | |                                      
|_|       dp|_|                                      

#2689: SAFE WORD

Fri, 2006 Nov 3

safe word

    _"_ %                                                  
    (<  ?     MY SAFE WORD IS "NO"                         
     ` "                                                   
    __||___                                                
   |\___//_\                                               
   (' | ') \\                                              
 __|\ , /  |/                                              
/:  /   \  ::                                              
\| ######o /|                                              
  ######## \)                                              
  ########                                                 
   \ :  /                                                  
    \: /                                                   
     --                                                    
     %%%     BUT I ALWAYS FORGET TO USE IT UNTIL AFTERWARDS
      %%      WHEN I FALSELY CLAIM YOU RAPED ME            
       %                                                   
      /:\                                                  
     |/|, b'ger                                            

#3054: HELEN THOMAS

Sat, 2007 Nov 3

           /!_.-_|\           MESSAGE BEGINS       
           `-/_'--'                                
           (_(o)\\\)                               
            (||\\\\;_,                             
             /  _-".----.                          
           ./_-"  /o,--.o\    HELEN THOMAS IS SCARY
          /      |o (  ) o|                        
         !__,--.__\o `-'o/                         
          |_-__--__`----'                          
         __,/\_|\/\,                               
        (   `/_'`X_;          MESSAGE ENDS         
Valkyrie `.____)____)                              

#3420: POOR MADONNA

Mon, 2008 Nov 3

                                  _.-.                                
                                 ._.-.\                               
                    .^         _.-'=. \\                              
                  .'  )    .-._.-=-..' \'.                            
               .'   .'   _.--._-='.'   |  `.  ^.                      
             .'   .'    _`.-.`=-./'.-. / .-.\ `. `.                   
           .'    /      _.-=-=-/ | '._)`(_.'|   \  `.                 
          /    /|       _.--=.'  `. (.-v-.)/    |\   \                
        .'    / \       _.-.' \-.' `-..-..'     / \   `.              
       /     /   `-.._ .-.'      `.'  " ". _..-'  |    |              
      '      |    |   /   )        \  /   \   \    \    `.            
     /      /    /   /   /\                \   \   |      \           
    /      /    /  .'  .'\ `.        .'     \   |   \      \          
   /      /    /  /   /   \  `-    -' .`.    .  \    \     |          
  |      /    / .''\.'    | `.      .'   `.   \  |    |    |          
 .'     /    / /   |      |      .'/       `.- `./    /    |          
 |     /    .-|   /--.    / `.    |    _.-''\   |     |    \          
.'    /  .-'  |  /    `-.|       .'\_.'      `. |`.   |    |          
|    |.-'     / /       /           \          \ \ `. \     \         
|    /       /  |      /             \         |  `. `.|    |         
|   |       /   `.     |      `   .'  \        /    \  \    /         
|   |      ///.-'.\    |       \ /    `\      / /-.  \ |    |         
|   /      \\\\    `    \.-     |    `-.\     |/   \\\\'.   |         
 \ |        \\\|        |      / \      |          //// |  /          
 | |         '''        |     /   \     |          |//  |  \          
 \ |                    |.-  |     \  .-|          ''   |  /          
  \|                    /    |    / ` ../               / /           
                        |'   /    |    /               | /            
                        \.'  |    | `./                |/             
                        /    \   /    \                               
                        \ `. /   \    /   I GUESS MADONNA WILL HAVE TO
                         |  |     '. '     FIND SOME OTHER GUY TO     
                         /  |      |  \     SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF      
                        /   |      /   `.                             
                       | | | \   .'  `.. \                            
                      / / / ._`. \.'-. \`/   AND I MEAN THAT          
             LGB      |/ / /  `'  `  |/|/     IN THE BAD WAY          
                       \|\|                                           

#3785: THE VIEW

Tue, 2009 Nov 3

            ...                                                          
        .::':::'::.           I THINK WHAT THE VIEW NEEDS IS MORE VAGINAS
      .:' .' : '. ':.         BECAUSE LORD KNOWS IT ISN'T TWATTY ENOUGH  
      ::--:--:--:--::                                                    
:-._  ':. '. : .' .:'  _.-:                                              
:   "-._'':.:::.:''_.-"   :                                              
:       "-._'''_.-"       :                                              
:   ._      "-"      _.   :                                              
:   : "-._       _.-" :   :                                              
:   :     ":   :"     :   :                                              
'-.-'      :   :      '-.-'                                              
           :   :              I MEANT CATTY SORRY IT ISN'T CATTY ENOUGH  
      grp  '-.-'                                                         

#4150: MISSED HALLOWEEN

Wed, 2010 Nov 3

election 2010, halloween

      _(,__           __),                                                 
  (_,d888888888b,d888888888b                                               
   d888888888888/888888888888b_)                                           
(_8888888P'""'`Y8Y`'""'"Y88888b      HEY TALL, PRETTY LADY IN HER EARLY 40S
  Y8888P.-'     `      '-.Y8888b_)                                         
 ,_Y88P (_(_(        )_)_) d88Y_,    WHO'S DRESSED UP LIKE A 50S HOUSEWIFE 
  Y88b,  (o  )      (o  ) d8888P                                           
  `Y888   '-'        '-'  `88Y`                                            
  ,d/O\         c         /O\b,                                            
    \_/'.,______w______,.'\_/                                              
       .-`             `-.           HALLOWEEN WAS TWO DAYS AGO            
      /   , d88b  d88b_   \                                                
     /   / 88888bd88888`\  \         THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN CHARMING AND NOW 
    /   / \ Y88888888Y   \  \        IT JUST MAKES YOU CRAZY               
    \  \   \ 88888888    /  /                                              
     `\ `.  \d8888888b, /\\/                                               
       `.//.d8888888888b; |          BUT HOT                               
         |/d888888888888b/                                                 
         d8888888888888888b          BUT CRAZY                             
      ,_d88p""q88888p""q888b,                                              
      `""'`\    "`|    /`'""`                                              
            `.    |===/              WAIT SHOULDN'T YOU BE VOTING          
              >   |   |                                                    
              /   |   |                                                    
             |    |   |                                                    
             |    Y  /                                                     
             \   /  /                                                      
       jgs    | /| /                                                       
             / / / |                 OH RIGHT I FORGOT WOMEN CAN'T VOTE    
            /=/  |=/                                                       
           `"`   `"`                                                       

#4515: MUD

Thu, 2011 Nov 3

 __________________________________N___________________________________ 
|________________ \               W+E   %%%         /__________________|
|---------------.\ \               S     %         //.-----------------|
|DS              | |\___________________.-._______/||                  |
|__ _            | |\\::::::::::::::::::|_|:::::://||            ______|
|__  |`----------| |-\\::::::::::::::::::::::::://-||----------` |   __|
|||| | ==========| |==\\::::::::::::::::::::::://==||==========  |  ||||
|WW| | |. `.     | |   \\  ___           ___  //   ||     .`     |  |WW|
|  | | |||  `.___| |____\\|_|_|  _____  |_|_|//____||___.`  .`|  |  |  |
|  | | |w| |. ===| |=====/|_|_| |  _  | |_|_|\=====||===   |  |  |  |  |
|==| | | | | | |-| |---|| |_|_| | |_| | |_|_| ||---||-|,:| |  |  |  |==|
|  | | |=| | | | | |   ||       | |_|o|       ||   || ||w| |  |  |  |  |
|  | | | | | | |_| |___||_______|_____|_______||___||_||=| |  |  |  |  |
|  | | |.' | o |=| |===||=====================||===||=|| | | o|  |  |  |
|__| |     | | | | |   ||                     ||   || | `| |  |  |  |__|
|    |     | | |-| |---|':                   :'|---||-|    |  |  |     |
|    |     | |.` | |   //                     \\   ||  `.  |  |  |     |
|    |     |.`   | |  //                       \\  ||    `.|  |  |     |
|    |    .`     | | //                         \\ ||      `. |  |     |
|    |  .`       | |//                           \\||        `:  |     |
|____|.'_________|_//_____________________________\\|__________`.|_____|
                                                                        
                                                                        
 PLEASE JOIN MY MUD AND THEN SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FACE WITH A DICK GUN 

#4881: NOBEL PRIZE

Sat, 2012 Nov 3

nobel prize

    (_v_)                                                    
     _|_                                                     
     | |                                                     
|-----+-----|                                                
|    1ST    |                                                
|   PRIZE   |                                                
 '---------'      I JUST WON THE NOBEL PRIZE IN DOING NOTHING
  \       /                                                  
   '.   .'                                                   
     | |                                                     
    .' '.                                                    
   _|___|_                                                   
  [#######] apc                                              

#5246: THREE-MAN BOBSLED MOVIE

Sun, 2013 Nov 3

    .-=-.   .-=-.   .-=-.                                            
   /.""".\ /.""".\ /.""".\                                           
  ||     |||     |||     ||    TURNS OUT THAT THREE-MAN BOBSLED MOVIE
   \'.__./=\.___./=\.___./     HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE OLYMPICS   
    '-=/.""".\-/.""".\=-'                                            
      ||     |||     ||                                              
       \.___./ \.___./                                               
jgs     '-=-'   '-=-'                                                

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FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Tue, 2020 Jul 14)
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