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#251: GOES IN HERE

Wed, 2000 Mar 1

          /~~~~\   /~~~~\                       
          \    /   \    /                       
           |  |_____|  |                        
         /~             ~\                      
/~~~~~-_|  /~~\    /~~~\  |_-~~~~~\             
\ ==== /| |   O|  |   ^ | |\ ==== /             
 ~-__-~ | |_---+--+----_| | ~-__-~              
        |/~             ~\|                     
        /                 \                     
       (      O      O     )                    
        `\              ./'                     
          ~-__________-~|                       
          |   |\__/|    |  /_________  DICK GOES
          |   |/~~\|    |  \            IN HERE 
          | /~~~~~~~~~\ |                       
          | |         | |                       
          | |         | |                       
          | |         | |                       
          | |         | |                       

#616: HURRY UP

Thu, 2001 Mar 1

               ,-,                        
             ,**@**.  FUCKING HURRY UP    
             /&&&-b\  IN FIVE MORE MINUTES
            / &&&/& \ I WILL CUT MY HAIR, 
            /  _!!_ \  GET FAT, AND STOP  
           / /]{  }[\ \  WANTING SEX      
           \| (~~~~) |/  SO I DAMNED      
            /^\)  (/^\   WELL BETTER BE   
           ( \\(@*)// )   MARRIED FIRST   
           ," (*@@*) ".                   
          /  ,~(*@)~`  \                  
         '      ;:      '                 
        /      :  ;      \                
       '        ;:        '               
      '        :  '        '              
     @                      @             
    ':     ,@.      ,@.     ;'            
   '  '-=-'   '-__-'   '-=-'  '           
  '                            '          
 /                              \         
 ~=._                        _,=~         
     `=-.__            __,-='             
gpyy       `-=.____,=-'                   

#981: POPPIES

Fri, 2002 Mar 1

  LOOK IT'S A FIELD OF POPPIES  
           _                    
          /\) _                 
     _   / / (/\                
    /\) ( Y)  \ \               
   / /   ""   (Y )              
  ( Y)  _      ""               
   ""  (/\       _              
        \ \     /\)             
        (Y )   / /              
         ""   ( Y)              
               ""  Krogg        
                                
   HEY WAIT A MINUTE WHY ARE    
THESE POPPIES PISSING AND RAPING

#1346: COME TO JAMAICA

Sat, 2003 Mar 1

    COME / COME TO JAMAICA
                          
             /            
          _               
   /\----_---             
  /         \\            
 /           \            
|             \_          
 \___-_        /          
       \      /           
        |     |           
        |     //|         
        (    ||/          
         \__/             

#1712: GROSS

Mon, 2004 Mar 1

nabis, newsgroup

              _______                                         
          .-""  '.'  ""-.                                     
        ."      .'.      ".   I'M NABIS PLEASE FUCK ME IN MY Q
      /|         Q         |                                  
     / |        :|:        |\                                 
    / /         . .         \"\                               
   / /        ,/: :\,        \ "\                             
  / /        / (_i_) \        \  "\                           
 / /       /"   | |   "\       \   |                          
| /      /"     '-'     "\      \."                           
||   / |/                 \ \ \  \                            
|| ,'-./                   \ |--. |                           
| \    \                    /     |                           
|\ \    |                  |     /                            
\_^-\   \                  |    /                             
      \  \                 /   /                              
       \  \               /   /                               
      __\ \",            /   /__                              
     /-  | | \          / / (  -\                             
     `~-._`   )        / | -' _.-'                            
          """"        (   _.-"                                
                       """                                    

#2077: OXYCLEAN

Tue, 2005 Mar 1

     _______________                                             
    |,----------.  |\   SOMEONE STUFF THAT OXYCLEAN GUY WITH DICK
    ||           |=| |                                           
    ||          || | |                                           
    ||       . _o| | | __                                        
Ojo |`-----------' |/ /~/                                        
     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ / /                                         
                     ~~                                          

#2442: LUNESTA

Wed, 2006 Mar 1

        ,-.    |    ,-.                                                
        \  `-.(+),-'  /    THE LUNESTA BUTTERFLY MOLESTS ME IN MY SLEEP
         \:-) (+) (-:/                                                 
        .'`-._(+)_.-'`.                                                
      ,'__/\_ (+) _/\__`.    I THINK IT'S DOING ANAL PROBES OR DRILLING
     / /  _/_)(+)(_\_  \ \    FOR OIL OR SOMETHING BECAUSE HOLY GOD IN 
    / (__/   _(+)_   \__) \    THE MORNING I'M ONE BIG BRUISE          
   /    _,-'" (") "`-._    \                                           
  (_,-'"     /   \     "`-._)                                          
Krogg                                                                  

#2807: UNDER SIEGE

Thu, 2007 Mar 1

                 \\\ ,                  
                  \ `|                  
                   ) (   .-""-.         
                   | |  /_  {  '.       
                   | | (/ `\   } )      
                   | |  ^/ ^`}   {      
                   \  \ \=  ( {   )     
                    \  \ '-, {   {{     
                     \  \_.'  ) }  )    
                      \.-'   (     (    
                      /'-.'_. ) (  }    
                      \_(    {   _/\    
                       ) '--' `-;\  \   
                   _.-'       /  / /    
            <\/>_.'         .'  / /     
        <\/></\>/.  '      /<\// /      
        </\>  _ |\`- _ . -/|<// (       
     <\/>    - _- `  _.-'`_/- |  \      
     </\>        -  - -  -     \\\      
      }`<\/>                <\/>`{      
      { </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\> }      
      }      </\> </\> </\>      {      
   <\/>.                         <\/>   
   </\>                          </\>   
    {`<\/>                     <\/>`}   
    } </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\> {   
    {      </\> </\> </\> </\>      }   
    }                               }   
    {           H A P P Y           {   
 <\/>        B I R T H D A Y        <\/>
 </\>                               </\>
   `<\/>                          <\/>' 
jgs </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\>  
         </\> </\> </\> </\> </\>       
                                        
 NOW THERE'S A WOMAN WHO KNOWS HER PLACE
                                        
          INSIDE A GIANT CAKE           

#3173: VEGANS

Sat, 2008 Mar 1

vegan

                                                                     
               /|                        /|                          
               | \           __ _ _     / ;                          
         ___    \ \   _.-"-" `~"\  `"--' /                           
     _.-'   ""-._\ ""   ._,"  ; "\"--._./                            
 _.-'       \./    "-""", )  ~"  |                                   
/ ,- .'          ,     '  `o.  ;  )                                  
\ ;/       '                 ;   /                                   
 |/        '      |      \   '   |                                   
 /        |             J."\  ,  |                                   
"         :       \   .'  : | ,. _)                                  
|         |     /     f |  |`--"--'                                  
 \_        \    \    / _/  |                                         
  \ "-._  _.|   (   j/; -'/                                          
   \  | "/  (   |   /,    |    I REFUSE TO EAT THE FLESH OF ANIMALS  
    | \  |  /\  |\_///   /    OR ANYTHING THAT IS THE BYPRODUCT OF   
    \ /   \ | \  \  /   /    ANIMAL LABOR IN ANY WAY SO THAT INCLUDES
     ||    \ \|  |  |  |    THINGS LIKE BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH BLAH  
     ||     \ \  |  | /    STILL YAPPING EVEN THOUGH NOBODY ON THIS  
     |\      |_|/   ||    PLANET COULD GIVE A SHIT, INCLUDING ME     
     L \       ||   ||                                               
     `"'       |\   |\                                               
    [nabis]    ( \. \ `.                                             
               |_ _\|_ _\                                            
                 "    "                                              

#3538: HAL

Sun, 2009 Mar 1

2010

                            ____             
                     ___.--'    `-/)         
   ___      __.-----'    __.---._//          
  <   `----'   _____,---'   ___ //           
   \--.____.--'      ___,--'   y/            
    \_      __.-----'    __,--//             
     >`----'   _____,---'   _//     HELLO    
   .'-.____,--',,,,, ___,--n//_              
 .'.__      __/    \'  ___,/(_/     DOCTOR   
<     `----'  \  C '\-' .'//                 
 `----.____.---)   _| .' //         NAME     
             .'=. (--'/|//                   
            |  \)`-\.' __/          CONTINUE 
            \   \ ,' ///                     
             ;.  '  ///             YESTERDAY
             | `._,'//                       
             \     //               TOMORROW 
              )===//]                        
             / |_// |                        
             \_ (/  |                        
              \     |\                       
               \ __ | \                      
               |[__]|  \                     
               ||__|/  /                     
               \    | /                      
               |    |/                       
              /|    |                        
             /\|    |                        
            /`.|____|                        
            `=.\____/                        
        hjw     )  '`--.                     
                `='===='                     

#3903: WOMEN ON SUBS

Mon, 2010 Mar 1

topical

                                                 /                       
                                                ( .                   |\ 
                      .                         | I__        ___---~~~  |
                     .                   _i_---~~~~  \_---~~~        _-\|
                   :;.:                /~      ____--~           __-~    
                   ;:         ___---~~~----~~~~             __--~        
                 : :  __---~~~  _                      __--~             
                : _-~~  ___---~~_O                __--~                  
               .:(_            ~          ___---~~                       
           *.::; ;;~~~------_____-----~~~~         -snafu-               
        ***..;                                                           
     .ojO  *                                                             
  .Ji'`                                                                  
;`'`                                                                     
          THE US NAVY IS GOING TO ALLOW WOMEN TO SERVE ON SUBMARINES     
                                                                         
        I DON'T REALLY THINK I HAVE A JOKE HERE I JUST THINK THAT'S HOT  

#4268: GUARANTEED

Tue, 2011 Mar 1

star trek

               _____.-._____                                    
 ______.------'-------------`------.______                      
'=========================================`                     
     ((__`----._____________.----'__))                          
      `---'         |-|         `---'                           
        |         __|o|__         |     THE ARTIST WHO DREW THIS
        |       .' _---_ `.       |     HAS NEVER TOUCHED A GIRL
        \______| .'  _  `. |______/                             
               | |  (_)  | |            AND NOW NEVER WILL      
                \ \     / /                                     
             JB  `-=====-'                                      

#4634: NUCLEAR FOOTBALL

Thu, 2012 Mar 1

                                                  
    THIS SUITCASE CONTAINS                        
    THE NUCLEAR FOOTBALL                          
           ____                                   
      .---[[__]]----.                             
     ;-------------.|       ____                  
     |             ||   .--[[__]]---.             
     |             ||  ;-----------.|             
     |             ||  |           ||             
jgs  |_____________|/  |           ||             
                       |___________|/             
                                                  
                      THIS ONE CONTAINS THE       
                      EMERGENCY BACKUP PORNOGRAPHY
                                                  
                      WHICH DO YOU THINK I'D      
                      GRAB FIRST IF THE NEWS CAME 

#4999: THE JOKE

Fri, 2013 Mar 1

          _   _                                               
           \ /                                                
            V                                                 
 ,())      _===_     I'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD ANOTHER HUMAN BEING
)( ..      . . ==                                             
()) b      <  3 =                                             
"" \=|   (#)>__/                                              
[_]\\|   //__/ /|                                             
//  \   (_/___/ |                                             
\\___>     |____|                                             
)_P#/       \' /                                              
 | )_        |_|                                              
(___o'     mMMMM                                              
       JEF                                                    

#5364: GREEN CARD

Sat, 2014 Mar 1

                                ______________________________________ 
                               |                                      |
                    _.---------|.--.                                  |
                 .-'  `       .'/  ``                                 |
              .-'           .' |    /|                                |
           .-'         |   /   `.__//                                 |
        .-'           _.--/        /                                  |
       |        _  .-'   /        /                                   |
       |     ._  \      /     `  /                                    |
       |        ` .    /     `  /                                     |
       |         \ \ '/        /                                      |
       |        - \  /        /|                                      |
       |        '  .'        / |                                      |
       |          '         |.'|                                      |
       |                    |  |                                      |
       |                    |  |______________________________________|
       |                    |.'                                        
       |                    /                                          
       |                   /                                           
       |                  /                                            
       )                 /|    TODAY IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE    
    .A/`-.              / |                                            
   AMMMA. `-._         / /     NOW I AM AN AMERICAN CITIZEN            
  AMMMMMMMMA. `-.     / /                                              
 AMMMMMMMMMMMMA. `.    /       FUCK MY BROWN ASS                       
AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`. /                                                
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`.                                                
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.`.                                              
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.                                              
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.                                            
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM                                            
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMV'                                            
                                                                       
VK                                                                     

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