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#100: GAY AWARD

Sat, 1999 Oct 2

       ___       
      /\__\      
     / / _/_     
    / / /\  \    
   / / /  \  \   
  / /__\/\ \__\  
  \ \  \ / /  /  
   \ \  / /  /   
    \ \/ /  /    
     \  /  /     
      \/__/      
      |  \|      
      |\  |      
      | \ |      
      )  \(      
      |\  |mga   
.-----'---'-----.
|'Your very own'|
|G A Y A W A R D|
|.   Wear it   .|
||   proudly   ||
||             ||
||__ May 1999 _||
'---------------'

#466: HARRY POTTER AND THE WITCH

Mon, 2000 Oct 2

harry potter

                CHECK ME OUT I'M            
 (       "     )  APPLYING WHAT I LEARNED   
  ( _  *         FROM THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS
     * (     /      \    ___                
        "     "        _/ /                 
       (   *  )    ___/   |                 
         )   "     _ o)'-./__               
        *  _ )    (_, . $$$                 
        (  )   __ __ 7_ $$$$                
         ( :  { _)  '---  $\                
    ______'___//__\   ____, \               
     )           ( \_/ _____\_              
   .'             \   \------''.            
   |='           '=|  |         )           
   |               |  |  .    _/            
    \    (. ) ,   /  /__I_____\             
snd  '._/_)_(\__.'   (__,(__,_]             
    @---()_.'---@                           

#831: DEAR GENIUS

Tue, 2001 Oct 2

911

               .            
            ___|_____       
           /   |    /|      
          /________/ |      
         |.........| |      
         |.........|{|   _  
         |.........{{{__/|  
         |.........{{____/  
         |.........{{{      
         |.........|{|      
         |.........| |      
         |.........| |      
         |.........| |      
         |.........| |      
         |.........| |      
         |         |        
                            
         DEAR GENIUS        
   DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB  
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION

#1196: WHAT A TOILET WANTS

Wed, 2002 Oct 2

              ______                     
              \     \.                   
              |`\_____\                  
              |` |    |                  
 __-====-__   |  |    |  HINT HINT PEOPLE
(~<       >~>_|  |    |                  
{~~-====--~~:  \ |    |  JERK OFF IN ME  
!~~------~~/----`+----/                  
 \         \___     /                    
  >------\     \  <                      
 <_________________>                     

#1561: RAINING DOWN

Thu, 2003 Oct 2

        ------               _____                         
       /      \ ___\     ___/    ___   THE DONGS/DICKS ARE 
    --/-  ___  /    \/  /  /    /   \   RAINING DOWN ON ME 
   /     /           \__     //_     \   (THEY ARE WEIGHTED
  /                     \   / ___     |   DOWN WITH METAL) 
  |           ___       \/+--/        /                    
   \__           \       \           /                     
      \__                 |          /                     
     \     /____      /  /       |   /                     
      _____/         ___       \/  /\                      
           \__      /      /    |    |                     
         /    \____/   \       /   //                      
     // / / // / /\    /-_-/\//-__-                        
      /  /  // /   \__// / / /  //                         
     //   / /   //   /  // / // /                          
      /// // / /   /  //  / //                             
   //   //       //  /  // / /                             
     / / / / /     /  /    /                               
  ///  / / /  //  // /  // //                              
     ///    /    /    / / / /                              
///  /    // / /  // / / /  /                              
   // ///   /      /// / /                                 

#1927: OXYCONTIN

Sat, 2004 Oct 2

haiku

                              |                                 
                              |                                 
                              |        OXYCONTIN PLEASE         
                              |                                 
                              |        BIG FAT TIP IN IT FOR YOU
                              |                                 
                              |        JACK ME OFF SLOWLY       
                          _ ----- _                             
                     .-~             ~-.                        
                   /                     \                      
        .-- -- -- |                       | -- -- --.           
    .-~ / ~~ ~~ ~~ \        O   O        / ~~ ~~ ~~ \ ~-.       
.-~   /        _ - ~ ~-.             .-~ ~ - _        \   ~-.   
    /      /~          /  ~ ----- ~  \          ~\      \       
  /       /           /               \           \       \     
         /           /                 \           \            
        /           /                   \           \           
       /           |                     |           \          
                   |                     |                      
                   |                     |                      
                   |                     |                      
                   |                     |                      

#2292: ROMPER STOMPER AND L.A. CONFIDENTIAL

Sun, 2005 Oct 2

 _____                                                        
/     \                                                       
vvvvvvv  /|__/|     I'M OFFENDED THAT YOUR PUBLICATION        
   I   /O,O   |     CALLED RUSSELL CROWE A TALENTLESS CUNT    
   I /_____   |                                               
  J|/^ ^ ^ \  |     HE WAS REALLY QUITE GOOD IN ROMPER STOMPER
   |^ ^ ^ ^ |W|     AND L.A. CONFIDENTIAL YOU KNOW            
    \m___m__|_|                                               

#2657: BURNT COOKIES

Mon, 2006 Oct 2

topical

   .       .                                                       
 +  :      .                                                       
           :       _       A FEMALE ASTRONAUT *WOULD* THINK THAT   
       .   !   '  (_)        SPACE SMELLS LIKE BURNT ALMOND COOKIES
          ,|.'                                                     
-  -- ---(-O-`--- --  -                                            
         ,`|'`.                                                    
       ,   !    .          AFTER ALL SHE'S JUST PREOCCUPIED WITH   
           :       :  "      ALL THE COOKING FOR HER HUSBAND SHE'S 
           .     --+--       GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR (BEING IN
 .:        .       !         SPACE AWAY FROM THE KITCHEN AND ALL)  
                                                                   
O!o                                                                

#3022: THIS ONE LAST TIME

Tue, 2007 Oct 2

dune

                               .-.._    ___                      
                            ,-'   |:\ /'--.`.                    
                           /'    ,|:|/::::| '\                   
                         ,'  ,.-:::::::::::.  \                  
                       _/' /::::::::::::::::`  \                 
                      /'  ':::::::_,--.::::::`.'\                
                     /  ,'::::.,-'     `\::::::||                
                    |  /:::_/'           `\::::||                
                    |  \::-                \:::||                
                    /_                      \_/ |                
                   |  '-._                      /                
                   |'.    '`-..._              |                 
                   ..  '--_             ''----.|                 
                   | `._   '-----  '''----__,..\                 
                   |.._ '-.._________..--'   ,'|_                
                   |   `--..__            _,' /| ''--.           
 ''''''---..__     |          '`-------'''   /-\ .-.._\_         
              '-\__ \-----....__        _..'   ,.-. `. .`\       
                   '`.          """--"""    _/' _. \ \  | \      
                      \--..___       ___..--   / | ' |  |  \   __
             _,........\      """--""        ./  |/-..__=..|,-'  
   ______, ''           `            __,...-''  ,'     -.. '     
,-'                      `.-...,-''''          - |        '`-----
                          \              _.,-'' .'               
     WELL OKAY JUST        \ ..______.,-'      ,'                
     THIS ONE LAST TIME     '-.             ,/'                  
                               ''---'......-'                    
     TELL ME AGAIN     ____                         /`-._        
     HOW MUCH YOU          \                        |::::""--.._ 
     LOVE ME                \   /(     )\           /::::::;;;;;\
                             \  \\  _  //          /;;::::::;;;;;
                    _           / \(_)/ \         /;;;;:::::::;;;
                   /;|          |       <        |;;;;;;;:::::::;
              ,-._/;;\           \_    /        /;;;;;;;;;:::::::
         _.-;;::::;;;;\           /    |       /;;;;;:::::::::;;;
        /;;::;;;;;;;;;;\          |    /     _/;;;;::::::::::;;;;
    _.-;::::::;;;;;;;;;;\         \__  \    /;;;;;:::::::::;;;;;:
_.-;;;::::::::::;;;;;;;;;\           `-'   /;;;;:::::::::;;;;;;;;
;;;;;:::::::::::::;;;;;;;;|               /;;;;;:::::;;;;;;;;JRO:

#3388: GORF

Thu, 2008 Oct 2

   .-'"'-.                                          
  / `. ,' \                                         
 |  ,' `.  |                                        
 |   ___   |                                        
  \ ( . ) /                                         
   '-.:.-'                                          
     .:.                                            
     :::   GURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRF I HATED GORF
     :::                                            
[lf] ::.                                            
     '::                                            
      '                                             

#3753: CHECK THAT

Fri, 2009 Oct 2

                                                                      .:.   
                       +-+         ###                               |   |  
                    \--+ +-________) (_______________________________|  o|  
                _____/===%====/======------------------------------------!\ 
 ______________/ / //! ||||||||||||| (%) ================    ======      ! X
'______________! ! !!! ||||||||||||||| ._================_.. ======   -- ! X
               \\\\\\\ o||XX|||XX||o||_!  o   { o    }     |===----------!M|
                """"""\_!_!_|_!_!_!!!/ !________!-------___X____________ !-.
                                       |    "X  ||__|  |.            ^\\ o |
                                       | |    / |!     ||              \\  |
                                       |     /""|!!!   |"               || |
                                       "----"   |!!!!! ".               || |
                                                |!!+-+!!|                | |
                                                |!!|:|!!|                | |
    I FEEL CHEATED, RAPED, POSSIBLY SOILED      `--+-+--"                `-"
                                                 |%%#|                      
    OKAY CHECK THAT                              |%%#|                      
                                                 |%%#|                      
    DEFINITELY SOILED                            |%%#|                      
                                                 |#%#|                      
                                                 |###|                      
                                                 |###|                      
                                                 +---+                      

#4118: TEAR

Sat, 2010 Oct 2

contact

    ____            ____                       
 _,',--.`-.      _,',--.`-.                    
<_ ( () )  >  ( <_ ( () )  >                   
  `-:__;,-'    \  `A:__:,-'                    
                \ / \                          
                 ((  )                         
                  \-'     SHOULD'VE SENT A POET
                   \                           
                    \                          
         (           )                         
 Shimrod  `-'"`-----'                          

#4483: ROADRUNNER

Sun, 2011 Oct 2

         .==,_                                          
        .===,_`\                                        
      .====,_ ` \      .====,__                         
---     .==-,`~. \           `:`.__,                    
 ---      `~~=-.  \           /^^^     MEEP MEEP (DICKS)
   ---       `~~=. \         /                          
                `~. \       /                           
                  ~. \____./                            
         jgs        `.=====)                            
                 ___.--~~~--.__                         
       ___\.--~~~              ~~~---.._|/              
       ~~~"                             /               

#4849: MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR

Tue, 2012 Oct 2

        n-._                                                            
       M//  \    IS THE MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR USED BY ABSOLUTELY  
      ///L_/_)   ANYONE OTHER THAN ASPERGERS SHITHEADS TO EVALUATE THEIR
     /////y|||   INTERACTIONS WITH FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS AFTER THINGS     
jjs / 78)/| ||   HAVE INEVITABLY GONE HORRIBLY WRONG                    
   / /""  \_/                                                           
  / /                                                                   
 n /                                                                    
(O)                                                                     

#5214: THE GNOME'S SUPERPOWERS

Wed, 2013 Oct 2

   \  |  / ,           ,-`````````'-.                                     
 `-.\ | /,'           /              `. `. \ |  / ,'                      
----     ---         /    _,---''''--.,|  `.\| /,'                        
 --,     `-.         |   |. __   . __,(| ---     ---                      
 ,' /_\\_\_          |   | '  `   `. `|/   /    `.                        
     \  \  `._       |() |,        `. \  /` ,| \  `.                      
      \    -' `-.__  \__/ `,  .  _   )|/' \/ |  \                         
       `.      -'  `--,/|  '`-'`'_`''-|    \                              
         `-._           `|     {`-`}  \     \                             
             `-._        \,     ``'  |` ,---'                             
                 `-.       |         \,-'                                 
                    |\     `\         \                                   
                    \ `      \,       \    I AM A GNOME WITH SUPERPOWERS  
                    /          \     |`                                   
                   |            \,  / \    BUT MY SIZE WILL NEVER BE FIXED
                   /              `'  |                                   
                   |                  |                                   
                   /                  |                                   
                  /      _ __    ,   ,'___,                               
                 /  _   ' /,-`--'/  ' /   /    Zeus                       
                 `-' `--..'-----'----'---'                                

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