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#52: BITCHX

Sun, 1999 Aug 15

figlet

    .sssSS$$s.s$$$$$$ $$sss..   s$$$^`$ss.   $$$$$s s$$$$  .s$$$$$s   s$s    
 .$$$$$'  `$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$s $$'   `$$$$s $$$'   `$$$  $$$$$$$'  s$$'    
s$$$$'      `$s $$$$ $$' $$$ $$$ $      d$$$$s $$     $$$   `$$$$'  s$$'     
$$$$$sss..ssS$'s$$$'s$' .$$' `$$ $     d$$$$$'s$$sssss$$$ $$$s`$$  s$'       
$$$$$$$^^^^$$s $$$$     $$$  s  s$           s$$$     $$$ $$$$s`$$s'         
$$$$'       `$$s $$     $$$s $$$$$       ..sSb $$     $$$      s$`$s panasync
$$$'         $$$s $    .$$$$ `$$$$     d$$$$$$ $$$    $$$    .$'  `$s.       
$$$s.      .s$$$$ $$  .$$$$$  `$$$$s.   $$$$$$ $$$s   $$$   s$     `$$$$s    
`$$$$Xavier$$$$$'s$$s $$$$$$s   `S$$sss$$$$$'s$$$$$  s$$$ s$$s      `$$$'    
                                      _                       _ _ _          
               __      _____  _ __ __| |  _   _ _ __     __ _| | | |         
               \ \ /\ / / _ \| '__/ _` | | | | | '_ \   / _` | | | |         
                \ V  V / (_) | | | (_| | | |_| | |_) | | (_| |_|_|_|         
                 \_/\_/ \___/|_|  \__,_|  \__,_| .__/   \__, (_|_|_)         
                                               |_|      |___/                

#418: ALIEN SPACE SHIP

Tue, 2000 Aug 15

   o8Oo./       THE ALIEN SPACE SHIP HAS ARRIVED LET THE GAYNESS BEGIN
._o8o8o8Oo_.                                                          
 \========/                                                           
  `------'  hjw                                                       

#783: WORSE THAN RAPE

Wed, 2001 Aug 15

  HOLY GOD IT'S WORSE THAN RAPE                              
                                                             
               \           .                                 
                \        .OO              FUCK YES !!!!!!!!!!
                 \     .OOOO                                 
                  \   .OOOO'                       /         
                      OOOO'          .-~~~~-.     /          
                      OOO'          /   (o)(o)   /           
              .OOOOOO `O .OOOOOOO. /      .. |  /            
          .OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO/\    \____/               
        .OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO/ \\   ,\_/                 
       .OOOOOOO%%OOOOOOOOOOOOO(#/\     /.                    
      .OOOOOO%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\ \\  \/OO.                   
     .OOOOO%%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\   \/OOOO.                  
     OOOOO%%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\_\/\OOOOO                  
     OOOOO%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\###)OOOO                  
     OOOOOO%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO                  
     OOOOOOO%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO                  
     `OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'                  
   .-~~\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'                  
  / _/  `\(#\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'                   
 / / \  / `~~\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'                    
|/'  `\//  \\ \OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'                     
       `-.__\_,\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'                       
           `OO\#)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'                        
             `OOOOOOOOO''OOOOOOOOO'                          
               `""""""'  `""""""'                            

#1148: TOO FLY

Thu, 2002 Aug 15

           ,                    
          / \                   
         {   }                  
         p   !                  
         ; : ;   I'M 2 FLY      
         | : |                  
         | : |                  
         l ; l   NOTE: NOT 2-PLY
         l ; l                  
         I ; I                  
         I ; I                  
         I ; I                  
         I ; I                  
         d | b                  
         H | H                  
         H | H                  
         H I H                  
 ,;,     H I H     ,;,          
;H@H;    ;_H_;,   ;H@H;         
`\Y/d_,;|4H@HK|;,_b\Y/'         
 '\;MMMMM$@@@$MMMMM;/'          
   "~~~*;!8@8!;*~~~"            
         ;888;                  
         ;888;                  
         ;888;                  
         ;888;                  
         d8@8b                  
         O8@8O                  
         T808T                  
          `~`  EJ               

#1513: TOO MUCH PHYSICAL DAMAGE

Fri, 2003 Aug 15

                .     I CAN'T BEAT OFF ANYMORE           
            ____/_     (TOO MUCH PHYSICAL DAMAGE YOU SEE)
 \==      .'__===_|                                      
  \_ _ _ /"---'  \/                                      
  |_|_|_|_\_______\______                                
  `.==-------------------|_                              
LGB `.___________________/                               

#1879: HARRY POTTER AND THE HARD TOILET

Sun, 2004 Aug 15

harry potter

            _            _.,----,                              
 __  _.-._ / '-.        -  ,._  \)                             
|  `-)_   '-.   \       / < _ )/" }   HEY LET'S PLAY QUIDDICH  
/__    '-.   \   '-, ___(c-(6)=(6)                             
 , `'.    `._ '.  _,'   >\    "  )   WHEREIN I BASH YOUR HEAD  
 :;;,,'-._   '---' (  ( "/`. -='/   AGAINST THE TOILET OVER AND
;:;;:;;,  '..__    ,`-.`)'- '--'   OVER AGAIN                  
;';:;;;;;'-._ /'._|   Y/   _/' \                               
      '''"._ F    |  _/ _.'._   `\   WHEN GREY GOO COMES OUT   
             L    \   \/     '._  \   I WIN                    
      .-,-,_ |     `.  `'---,  \_ _|                           
      //    'L    /  \,   ("--',=`)7                           
     | `._       : _,  \  /'`-._L,_'-._                        
     '--' '-.\__/ _L   .`'         './/                        
                 [ (  /                                        
                  ) `{                 WELL WE ALL WIN REALLY  
       snd        \__)                                         

#2244: FAT CAMP

Mon, 2005 Aug 15

 /@@@@@\                                  
@@'''''@@      NO FAT CHICKS IN HERE      
@@ o o @@                                 
@@  -  @@      SENT BY TRAIN OFF TO A CAMP
@@  *  @@                                 
@@|   |@@      GASSED IN THE SHOWERS      
@@     @@                                 

#2609: PSEUDOINTELLECTUALISM

Tue, 2006 Aug 15

             __                                                          
           .'  `'.      MY IDEA OF INTELLECTUALISM IS DISAGREEING WITH   
          /  _    |     ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ANY AUTHORITY FIGURE SAYS  
          #_/.\==/.\    TO ME REGARDLESS OF ITS OWN MERITS OR MY ANALYSIS
         (, \_/ \\_/                                                     
          |    -' |     SOMEHOW I'M HAVING DIFFICULTY REALIZING THAT THIS
          \   '=  /     CARRIES PRECISELY THE SAME AMOUNT OF USEFUL      
          /`-.__.'      INFORMATIONAL CONTENT AS AGREEING WITH EVERYTHING
       .-'`-.___|__     ANY AUTHORITY FIGURE SAYS TO ME REGARDLESS OF ITS
jgs   /    \       `.   OWN MERITS OR MY ANALYSIS                        
                                                                         
                        NAMELY: FUCKING NONE AT ALL                      

#2974: FIRE EXTINGUISHER

Wed, 2007 Aug 15

   ,.   (   .      )        .      "           
  ("     )  )'     ,'        )  . (`     '`    
.; )  ' (( (" )    ;(,     ((  (  ;)  "  )"    
_"., ,._'_.,)_(..,( . )_  _' )_') (. _..( '..jb
                                               
 EEEK!! A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!! GRABBING IT AND 
 PRETENDING TO WRESTLE AND SAYING DOWN BOY AND 
 THEN BETWEEN MY LEGS AND HOSING THE CROWD     

#3340: WHEN YOU SEE IT

Fri, 2008 Aug 15

 __________________________                     
|.-----------..-----------.|                    
||           ||           ||                    
||           ||           ||                    
||           ||           ||                    
||           ||           ||                    
||_          ||           ||  WHEN YOU SEE IT   
|| '.        ||           ||                    
|||\ \       ||           ||                    
||;_\_;______||___________||  YOU'LL SHIT BRICKS
||--,-.------..-----------.|                    
|| \| |    _.||"'--.      ||                    
||\ | | _." .||-"_) `)    ||                    
||_)  `"  .-.|| __.-'     ||                    
||       (   ||`          ||                    
||  ' .  |   ||           ||                    
||  ()    \  || .-.       ||                    
||\/_     | _||' _;\      ||                    
||_`_____/_'_||____/______||                    
'---------------------jgs--'                    

#3705: LOWERING EXPECTATIONS

Sat, 2009 Aug 15

          ________                                                             
         /________\     GOTTA MAKE MYSELF PRETTY SO SOMEDAY A MAN WILL         
        //( ( ( ( \\     MARRY ME                                              
       || <o> <o>((||                                                          
       ||) ) `  ) )||     WAIT                                                 
       || (\___( ( ||                                                          
       \|) )    \)_|/   GOTTA MAKE MYSELF PRETTY SO SOMEDAY A RICH MAN         
       / ((\_v_/   \     WILL MARRY ME                                         
      /  /)  x    \ \                                                          
      | |    x    | |     WAIT                                                 
      |  \   x   /  |                                                          
      |  |   x   |  |   GOTTA MAKE MYSELF PRETTY SO SOMEDAY A RICH, POWERFUL,  
      |  |\  x  /|  |    KIND, HANDSOME MAN WILL MARRY ME                      
      |  |/\ x /\|  |                                                          
      |  |  \x/  |  |     WHAT                                                 
      |  |   V   |  |                                                          
     /____\     /____\    OKAY FINE                                            
       | |       | |                                                           
      /  \       /  \   GOTTA MAKE MYSELF PRETTY SO A RICH MAN WILL MARRY ME   
      |  |       |  |                                                          
      `~~|       |~~'     SHEESH OKAY                                          
         |\     /|                                                             
         |  \ /  |      GOTTA MAKE MYSELF PRETTY SO SOMEDAY A MAN WILL MARRY ME
         |___V___|                                                             
         |  / \  |        JEEZ FINE FINE                                       
         | /   \ |                                                             
         |/     \|      SOMEDAY A MAN WILL MARRY ME                            
        /         \                                                            
       /           \      HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOOD LORD                
______/             \_______                                                   
============================                                                   
Alyssa                                                                         
                        MAYBE SOMEDAY A MAN WILL MARRY ME ???///               

#4070: DIAGONALIZATION

Sun, 2010 Aug 15

         &&&                                                              
        (+.+)     MY BALLS ARE DIAGONALIZABLE                             
      ___\=/___                                                           
     (|_ ~~~ _|)                                                          
        |___|                                                             
        / _ \     NOW YOU CAN JUST READ OFF THE EIGENVALUES               
       /_/ \_\    (BUT DO SO WITH A DARK FILTER BECAUSE OTHERWISE         
ejm97 /_)   (_\   IT WILL CAUSE PAIN, IRRITATION, SNEEZING, AND BLINDNESS)

#4435: PHONE BOOTH

Mon, 2011 Aug 15

     _.------._                                          
 _.-'          '-._                                      
/                  \   THIS IS A PHONE BOOTH             
'------------------'                                     
| .--------------. |                                     
| |      ||      | |   DON'T ENTER IT OUR JACK BAUER     
|[]      ||      | |   MAY SET YOU UP IN A HORRIBLY      
| |======||======| |   IMPLAUSIBLE SCHEME TO DO SOMETHING
| |      ||      | |   OR OTHER THAT COULDN'T POSSIBLY   
| |      ||      | |   HAVE REALLY SUCCEEDED             
|[]======||======[ |                                     
| |======||======| |                                     
| |      ||      | |                                     
| |      ||      | |                                     
|[]======||======| |                                     
| |      ||      | |                                     
| '------''------' |                                     
|__________________| LGB                                 

#4801: MEASUREMENTS

Wed, 2012 Aug 15

 _______________________________________________________________________ 
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |
|       1       2       3       4       5       6       7       8       9
|                                                                       |
|                          SIZE OF MY FAT DICK                          |
|_______________________________________________________________________|

#5166: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

Thu, 2013 Aug 15

                       (())))                                            
          ______      (()o))()                                           
       .-'.-'  |`-.  (()) o(()                                           
    .-' .' \   | / `.(())) (())   _       I KIND HAVE A VAGUE FEELING,   
  .'   /`.  \  |/  .'((()__()))  (_)      ALTHOUGH I'M NOT TOTALLY SURE, 
 .    ;   ` .\ |. '  /(  )(  )\ / _)      BUT I'M GOING TO PRETEND THAT I
(     |-------( )---/ /\    /\ / /   _    REALLY DO HAVE AN INKLING OR   
`.    ;   . '/ |\ . \ \ )  (  \_/   (_)   AT LEAST A GENERAL CONCEPT OF  
  .    \.'  /  | \ ` \ \    \    _        WHAT BEHAVIOR OR ACTIVITIES    
   `-.  `. /   |  \ .(_/_____\  (_)       YOU MIGHT HAVE ENGAGED IN      
      `-._`-.__|_.-'  "\""\"/"            LAST SUMMER                    
          """""         \  \                                             
                        /\  \     _                                      
                       / /| |    (_)                                     
                      / / | |                                            
                     ( /  |/                                             
                     )/  ( \                                             
                     "    `.`.  jro                                      

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  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
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