> HOME
> CURRENT
> RANDOM
> BEST OF
> RSS FEED
> CONTACT
    _    ____   ____ ___ ___      _         _     _____          _       
   / \  / ___| / ___|_ _|_ _|    / \   _ __| |_  |  ___|_ _ _ __| |_ ___ 
  / _ \ \___ \| |    | | | |    / _ \ | '__| __| | |_ / _` | '__| __/ __|
 / ___ \ ___) | |___ | | | |   / ___ \| |  | |_  |  _| (_| | |  | |_\__ \
/_/   \_\____/ \____|___|___| /_/   \_\_|   \__| |_|  \__,_|_|   \__|___/
"SPOILERS FOLLOW"
BY NUMBER <
BY TITLE <
BY DATE <
BY DAY <
BY CALENDAR <
BY KEYWORD <

Jan 1 (15)
Jan 2 (15)
Jan 3 (15)
Jan 4 (15)
Jan 5 (15)
Jan 6 (15)
Jan 7 (15)
Jan 8 (15)
Jan 9 (15)
Jan 10 (15)
Jan 11 (15)
Jan 12 (15)
Jan 13 (15)
Jan 14 (15)
Jan 15 (15)
Jan 16 (15)
Jan 17 (15)
Jan 18 (15)
Jan 19 (15)
Jan 20 (15)
Jan 21 (15)
Jan 22 (15)
Jan 23 (15)
Jan 24 (15)
Jan 25 (15)
Jan 26 (15)
Jan 27 (15)
Jan 28 (15)
Jan 29 (15)
Jan 30 (15)
Jan 31 (15)
Feb 1 (15)
Feb 2 (15)
Feb 3 (15)
Feb 4 (15)
Feb 5 (15)
Feb 6 (15)
Feb 7 (15)
Feb 8 (15)
Feb 9 (15)
Feb 10 (15)
Feb 11 (15)
Feb 12 (15)
Feb 13 (15)
Feb 14 (15)
Feb 15 (15)
Feb 16 (15)
Feb 17 (15)
Feb 18 (15)
Feb 19 (15)
Feb 20 (15)
Feb 21 (15)
Feb 22 (15)
Feb 23 (15)
Feb 24 (15)
Feb 25 (15)
Feb 26 (15)
Feb 27 (15)
Feb 28 (15)
Feb 29 (4)
Mar 1 (15)
Mar 2 (15)
Mar 3 (15)
Mar 4 (15)
Mar 5 (15)
Mar 6 (15)
Mar 7 (15)
Mar 8 (15)
Mar 9 (15)
Mar 10 (14)
Mar 11 (14)
Mar 12 (14)
Mar 13 (14)
Mar 14 (14)
Mar 15 (14)
Mar 16 (14)
Mar 17 (14)
Mar 18 (14)
Mar 19 (14)
Mar 20 (14)
Mar 21 (14)
Mar 22 (14)
Mar 23 (14)
Mar 24 (14)
Mar 25 (14)
Mar 26 (14)
Mar 27 (14)
Mar 28 (14)
Mar 29 (14)
Mar 30 (14)
Mar 31 (14)
Apr 1 (14)
Apr 2 (14)
Apr 3 (14)
Apr 4 (14)
Apr 5 (14)
Apr 6 (14)
Apr 7 (14)
Apr 8 (14)
Apr 9 (14)
Apr 10 (14)
Apr 11 (14)
Apr 12 (14)
Apr 13 (14)
Apr 14 (14)
Apr 15 (14)
Apr 16 (14)
Apr 17 (14)
Apr 18 (14)
Apr 19 (14)
Apr 20 (14)
Apr 21 (14)
Apr 22 (14)
Apr 23 (14)
Apr 24 (14)
Apr 25 (14)
Apr 26 (14)
Apr 27 (14)
Apr 28 (14)
Apr 29 (14)
Apr 30 (14)
May 1 (14)
May 2 (14)
May 3 (14)
May 4 (14)
May 5 (14)
May 6 (14)
May 7 (14)
May 8 (14)
May 9 (14)
May 10 (14)
May 11 (14)
May 12 (14)
May 13 (14)
May 14 (14)
May 15 (14)
May 16 (14)
May 17 (14)
May 18 (14)
May 19 (14)
May 20 (14)
May 21 (14)
May 22 (14)
May 23 (14)
May 24 (14)
May 25 (14)
May 26 (14)
May 27 (14)
May 28 (14)
May 29 (14)
May 30 (14)
May 31 (14)
Jun 1 (14)
Jun 2 (14)
Jun 3 (14)
Jun 4 (14)
Jun 5 (14)
Jun 6 (14)
Jun 7 (14)
Jun 8 (14)
Jun 9 (14)
Jun 10 (14)
Jun 11 (14)
Jun 12 (14)
Jun 13 (14)
Jun 14 (14)
Jun 15 (14)
Jun 16 (14)
Jun 17 (14)
Jun 18 (14)
Jun 19 (14)
Jun 20 (14)
Jun 21 (14)
Jun 22 (14)
Jun 23 (14)
Jun 24 (14)
Jun 25 (15)
Jun 26 (15)
Jun 27 (15)
Jun 28 (15)
Jun 29 (15)
Jun 30 (15)
Jul 1 (15)
Jul 2 (15)
Jul 3 (15)
Jul 4 (15)
Jul 5 (15)
Jul 6 (15)
Jul 7 (15)
Jul 8 (15)
Jul 9 (15)
Jul 10 (15)
Jul 11 (15)
Jul 12 (15)
Jul 13 (15)
Jul 14 (15)
Jul 15 (15)
Jul 16 (15)
Jul 17 (15)
Jul 18 (15)
Jul 19 (15)
Jul 20 (15)
Jul 21 (15)
Jul 22 (15)
Jul 23 (15)
Jul 24 (15)
Jul 25 (15)
Jul 26 (15)
Jul 27 (15)
Jul 28 (15)
Jul 29 (15)
Jul 30 (15)
Jul 31 (15)
Aug 1 (15)
Aug 2 (15)
Aug 3 (15)
Aug 4 (15)
Aug 5 (15)
Aug 6 (15)
Aug 7 (15)
Aug 8 (15)
Aug 9 (15)
Aug 10 (15)
Aug 11 (15)
Aug 12 (15)
Aug 13 (15)
Aug 14 (15)
Aug 15 (15)
Aug 16 (15)
Aug 17 (15)
Aug 18 (15)
Aug 19 (15)
Aug 20 (15)
Aug 21 (15)
Aug 22 (15)
Aug 23 (15)
Aug 24 (15)
Aug 25 (15)
Aug 26 (15)
Aug 27 (15)
Aug 28 (15)
Aug 29 (15)
Aug 30 (15)
Aug 31 (15)
Sep 1 (15)
Sep 2 (15)
Sep 3 (15)
Sep 4 (15)
Sep 5 (15)
Sep 6 (15)
Sep 7 (15)
Sep 8 (15)
Sep 9 (15)
Sep 10 (15)
Sep 11 (15)
Sep 12 (15)
Sep 13 (15)
Sep 14 (15)
Sep 15 (15)
Sep 16 (15)
Sep 17 (15)
Sep 18 (15)
Sep 19 (15)
Sep 20 (15)
Sep 21 (15)
Sep 22 (15)
Sep 23 (15)
Sep 24 (15)
Sep 25 (15)
Sep 26 (15)
Sep 27 (15)
Sep 28 (15)
Sep 29 (15)
Sep 30 (15)
Oct 1 (15)
Oct 2 (15)
Oct 3 (15)
Oct 4 (15)
Oct 5 (15)
Oct 6 (15)
Oct 7 (15)
Oct 8 (15)
Oct 9 (15)
Oct 10 (15)
Oct 11 (15)
Oct 12 (15)
Oct 13 (15)
Oct 14 (15)
Oct 15 (15)
Oct 16 (15)
Oct 17 (15)
Oct 18 (15)
Oct 19 (15)
Oct 20 (15)
Oct 21 (15)
Oct 22 (15)
Oct 23 (15)
Oct 24 (15)
Oct 25 (15)
Oct 26 (15)
Oct 27 (15)
Oct 28 (15)
Oct 29 (15)
Oct 30 (15)
Oct 31 (15)
Nov 1 (15)
Nov 2 (15)
Nov 3 (15)
Nov 4 (15)
Nov 5 (15)
Nov 6 (15)
Nov 7 (15)
Nov 8 (15)
Nov 9 (15)
Nov 10 (15)
Nov 11 (15)
Nov 12 (15)
Nov 13 (15)
Nov 14 (15)
Nov 15 (15)
Nov 16 (15)
Nov 17 (15)
Nov 18 (15)
Nov 19 (15)
Nov 20 (15)
Nov 21 (15)
Nov 22 (15)
Nov 23 (15)
Nov 24 (15)
Nov 25 (15)
Nov 26 (15)
Nov 27 (15)
Nov 28 (15)
Nov 29 (15)
Nov 30 (15)
Dec 1 (15)
Dec 2 (15)
Dec 3 (15)
Dec 4 (15)
Dec 5 (15)
Dec 6 (15)
Dec 7 (15)
Dec 8 (15)
Dec 9 (15)
Dec 10 (15)
Dec 11 (15)
Dec 12 (15)
Dec 13 (15)
Dec 14 (15)
Dec 15 (15)
Dec 16 (15)
Dec 17 (15)
Dec 18 (15)
Dec 19 (15)
Dec 20 (15)
Dec 21 (15)
Dec 22 (15)
Dec 23 (15)
Dec 24 (15)
Dec 25 (15)
Dec 26 (15)
Dec 27 (15)
Dec 28 (15)
Dec 29 (15)
Dec 30 (15)
Dec 31 (15)

#71: FORKED DONG

Fri, 1999 Sep 3

              (`  ).                   _               
             (     ).              .:(`  )`.           
)           _(       '`.          :(   .    )          
        .=(`(      .   )     .--  `.  (    ) )         
       ((    (..__.:'-'   .+(   )   ` _`  ) )          
`.     `(       ) )       (   .  )     (   )  ._       
  )      ` __.:'   )     (   (   ))     `-'.-(`  )     
)  )  ( )       --'       `- __.'         :(      ))   
.-'  (_.'          .')                    `(    )  ))  
                  (_  )                     ` __.:'    
                                                       
--..,___.--,--'`,---..-.--+--.,,-,,..._.--..-._.-a:f--.
                 . .                                   
                 |/   LOOK AT MY HUGE FORKED DONG      
              0 ##                                     
--___        \_\#>                                     
      --___   | \                __----                
  ejm        /#\          ----__-                      
             \~|     ___                               
             ~  ~ _                                    

#437: WHO PUT THE DILDO

Sun, 2000 Sep 3

      /\                           
      ||                           
      ||_      WHO PUT THE DILDO   
    .'___'.    ON THE INDIAN GIRL'S
   /WXWXWXW\   _   HEAD AGAIN????  
  | /`   `\ | / \                  
  (/ o   o \)_|  |                 
  ()   ^   ()\  /                  
  (/'._=_.'\) |=|                  
  <>/     \<>/  |                  
 /"  \___/  /  /                   
/jgs          /                    

#802: BOB

Mon, 2001 Sep 3

                  ____________                                
                 /            \      ____                     
                 /   ___--// \ \    /    \                    
                 //// | _ __  \ \  /      \                   
     __________   /   ||_|_ |  \| /   /\   \   I'M MICROSOFT  
    /    ______\      ||_|_||  |_/   /  \   \   BOB           
   /    /     \ \     \ ______ |    /    \___\                
   ||   |  /__|        \|___/ /     \    /   |   I'M GOING    
   || | |  /_(|        ||  /_/       \  /|   ||   TO FUCK YOU 
   | | ||     _\       ||_//|         \__||||||__  BUT GOOD   
   | || |   __|       /___/ |  \         |    |  \            
   |||||   /__|    ____     |  |\        |    |   \____       
    |   \_____\    ----\____|  | \       |    |        |___   
    /\____|           \ |      |  \      |    |        |   |  
   /       \   _      //--------   \_____|    |        |   |_ 
  /         \ /___                       |    |        |___| |
 |          |/    \                      |    |   _____| |   |
 | /    |   /   __\                      |    |__/_______|   |
 | |    |  /   /  \                      |___/|  |           |
 | |____| /   / \      ____    ______ ________|__|_____    __|
 | |____|/   /|  \___ /  _-\__/_/____||               |___|   
 |  \       / | _____|__//___________||_______________|____   
 |   \     /  ||                                           |  
 |____\___/__/ |                                           |  
_|             |   _____________________________________   |  
| \            |   |                                   |   |  
|  \___________|   |                                   |   |  
|              |   |                                   |   |  
|______________|   |                                   |   |  

#1167: WICCAN WEEK: DAY TWO

Tue, 2002 Sep 3

wiccan*

          mmm,   I'M HOT AND SPICY JERK WICCAN
         /::* >                               
\        |::/                                 
 Aaa..../:::\    BUK BUK BUK NOT WASHING      
 \:::::::::::|   AND GIVING STRANGERS MONEY   
  \:::::::::/                                 
   \:::::::/                                  
     \:/\:/  -BR-                             
      |_  \__                                 
       \   |\                                 

#1532: EROGENOUS ZONE

Wed, 2003 Sep 3

      _.--'''-._                                        
   .-'/         `\    THE ENTIRE LEFT SIDE OF MY BODY IS
  /.-'`.          '\   ONE GIANT EROGENOUS ZONE         
 '/  .-.`-. `       `                                   
( }) (}\   `-._\     :   OKAY THE RIGHT TOO             
 //   .       )) '.  ;                                  
 \`          *',     .                                  
 /v\           /    ,'                                  
 \_/        ' (:    .  ha/VK/ejm                        
  `-.___.--'   /-.-'                                    
       )       |                                        
 .----'`-.___.-'`----.                                  

#1898: NOT THIRSTY

Fri, 2004 Sep 3

best of

                                                   
 .-'"""`-.                                         
(         )                                        
|`-.___.-'|  THE GUY WHO BEGS YOU TO PISS ON HIM   
|.-'"""`-.|   WHILE IN THE BIG STALL IS NOT THIRSTY
|         |                                        
|`-.___.-'|                                        
|         |                                        
|. ' " ` .|                                        
|         |                                        
 `-.___.-'       VK                                

#2263: HURRICANE NAMES

Sat, 2005 Sep 3

hurricane, topical

   ),-.     /\                                           
  <(a  `---','  Q: WHY ARE HURRICANES NAMED AFTER BITCHES
  ( `-, ._> )                                            
   ) _>.___/    A: DUH                                   
       _/                                                
hjw                                                      

#2628: FONT CHOICE

Sun, 2006 Sep 3

    ______                                                         
   (______)                                                        
     )  (      YOUR PRINTING A DOCUMENT OUT IN THE FONT CRITTER    
   ,'<\o=`.     AND THEN HANDING IT TO ME EXPECTING ME TO BE ABLE  
  (  <_\)  )     TO READ IT GRANTS FROM THE MOMENT THE PAGE TOUCHES
   `."/| .'       MY HAND FULL LEGAL RIGHTS TO PILLAGE YOUR FAMILY 
     )\\(          AND RAPE YOUR TOWN                              
    /____\                                                         
ejm                  OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT                        

#2993: THE BANG SPACE SHUTTLE

Mon, 2007 Sep 3

porn

               _                                        
             ,' '.                                      
            /     \                                     
          ^ |  _  | ^                                   
         | || / \ || |                                  
         | |||.-.||| |   LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I PRESENT
         | |||   ||| |                                  
         | |||   ||| |                                  
         | |||   ||| |                                  
         | |||   ||| |                                  
         | ,'     '. |   THE BANG SPACE SHUTTLE         
         ,'__     __`.                                  
        /____  |  ____\                                 
         /_\ |_|_| /_\                                  
         .:   : :   :.                                  
         : .  : .  : :                                  
          ::   ::   ::                                  
         : : .: :. : :                                  
        .: :.: : :. : .                                 
        : : .: :  ::  :                                 
jrei    .:  .   : :   ..                                

#3359: MORE REWARDING

Wed, 2008 Sep 3

              .-.                                                            
______________"_)                                                            
\              .'                                                            
 '-._      _.-'     WHAT'S MORE REWARDING THAN BARFING IN YOUR OWN SINK ?????
     '.  .'                                                                  
 fsc   )(                                                                    
      /  \                                                                   
     /    \    BARFING *BEFORE* YOU MAKE IT TO THE SINK                      
    :      :                                                                 
    '------'                                                                 

#3724: STAYCATION

Thu, 2009 Sep 3

IF SOMEONE USES THE WORD STAYCATION THEN THEY IMMEDIATELY GET THIS
                                                                  
               __________                  __,___/  ",",          
        ___.--"          "\'.         ____/  l   \    ",'-,       
 ------f"               // \\\        \  (l\ \    \     \ \",     
       |                    |||       /   u       |      \ \ \    
       |                    |||     _ )          /       | |  \   
   ----L_-XXX-.             .|'    / U          <        | |  |   
               "\   -<_____///     \           6 )       | |  |   
                 \___)     -"       '.       -.<"       / /   |   
                                     |'.___  |       _._."   /    
                                     |     ./     _."."   _."     
                                    /      |"----"     _."        
                                 jjs       \                      

#4089: PAJAMAS TV

Fri, 2010 Sep 3

pajamas media

 ,.                                                                 
 \-'__          I HOPE PAJAMAS TV IS DOING OKAY IN THIS DOWN ECONOMY
/ o.__o____                                                         
\/_/ /.___/--,                                                      
  ||\' mrf                                                          
  | /                                                               
  \_\           MAYBE THEY'LL HAVE TO SWITCH TO PAJAMAS             
  -''           TWO-CANS-CONNECTED-BY-A-STRING                      

#4454: GYMNASIUM

Sat, 2011 Sep 3

         .-*"""*.                                                  
        /        \    I'M BIG AND STRONG FROM GOING TO THE GYM     
       :   .--. .-:                                                
       |  /  _."._|   AND ALSO LIKE TAKING OFF MY CLOTHES IN       
       |_:  'o  /o:   FRONT OF A STRANGE LOCKER ROOM WITH STRANGERS
       :P       \ |                                                
       `-| `.  _' ;                                                
         |`.  `- /                                                 
  [bug]  ; |`-._/                                                  
       _/  `.  :                                                   
    .-' `-.     `+._._                                             
  .'       ``-  '  `-.`.                                           
 /              \     `.\                                          
:                \      \:                                         
:    .-'         .L      ;            ._                           
 \ .'   \      /`) `.    |\         /`\ \                          
 |       :.   : '    ;   ; \       : :'  ;                         
 | :     | `--J     / ._/   ;    .-' /'-';                         
 :  \    :_.-'    .'    :`. L_.-'    _.-'                          
  \   -.-'   /   / |`.  |  /  _.'  .'                              
   ;           .'  :  \ :        .'                                
   |      .' .'   /    / \    .-'                                  
   :    .'.-'`-- : -' :   `.-'                                     
    \ _.-'       |    |                                            
     "  | \           |                                            
        ;  ;     c   :|                                            

#4820: CAPTAIN SULU'S NEW ORDERS

Mon, 2012 Sep 3

star trek

                             ____                                      
                     __,-~~/~    `---.                                 
                   _/_,---(      ,    )                                
               __ /        <    /   )  \___                            
- ------===;;;'====------------------===;;;===----- -  -               
                  \/  ~"~"~"~"~"~\~"~)~"/                              
                  (_ (   \  (     >    \)                              
                   \_( _ <         >_>'                                
                      ~ `-i' ::>|--"                                   
                          I;|.|.|     TARGET THAT EXPLOSION AND SWALLOW
                         <|i::|i|`.                                    
                     BM (` ^'"`-' ")                                   
------------------------------------------------------------------     

#5185: SCIENCE FACT: HITCHHIKER'S HIDE TO THE GALAXY

Tue, 2013 Sep 3

science fact

88888b   d888b  888b  88 8P 888888    88888b    888     888b  88 88  d888b 88
88   88 88   88 88`8b 88      88      88   88  88 88    88`8b 88 88 88   ` 88
88   88 88   88 88 88 88      88      88888P  88   88   88 88 88 88 88     88
88   88 88   88 88 `8b88      88      88     d8888888b  88 `8b88 88 88   , ""
88888P   `888P  88  `888      88      88     88     `8b 88  `888 88  `888P 88
                                                                             
                                   nnnmmm                                    
                    \||\       ;;;;%%%@@@@@@       \ //,                     
                     V|/     %;;%%%%%@@@@@@@@@@  ===Y//                      
                     68=== ;;;;%%%%%%@@@@@@@@@@@@    @Y                      
                     ;Y   ;;%;%%%%%%@@@@@@@@@@@@@@    Y                      
                     ;Y  ;;;+;%%%%%%@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@    Y                     
                     ;Y__;;;+;%%%%%%@@@@@@@@@@@@@@i;;__Y                     
                    iiY"";;   "uu%@@@@@@@@@@uu"   @"";;;>                    
                           Y     "UUUUUUUUU"     @@                          
                           `;       ___ _       @                            
                             `;.  ,====\\=.  .;'                             
                               ``""""`==\\=='                                
                                      `;=====                                
                                   WT    ===                                 
                                                                             
                                                                             
  SCIENCE FACT: THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY IS NOT                  
                THAT GREAT OF A TRILOGY AND DOUGLAS ADAMS IS                 
                AN OVERRATED HACK WHO DESERVED TO DIE                        
                                                                             
                WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T SCIENCE YES IT IS                
                                                                             
                WHAT ARE YOU ANYWAY A HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE DENIER ?!??!?!      

FART BACK
IS THIS ALL THERE IS?
CHAT#AAF @ EFnet on IRC
FOLLOW NEW!Conspiracy Duck @ Twitter
TOYS
FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Tue, 2023 Feb 21)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe