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#307: FOUR SECONDS

Wed, 2000 Apr 26

                  ,        ,          
                 /(        )`         
                 \ \___   / |         
                 /- _  `-/  '         
 YOU HAVE       (/\/ \ \   /\         
FOUR SECONDS    / /   | `    \        
BEFORE I JAM    O O   ) /    |        
THIS UP YOU     `-^--'`<     '        
               (_.)  _  )   /         
                `.___/`    /          
                  `-----' /           
      <----.     __ / __   \          
      <----|====O)))==) \) /====      
      <----'    `--' `.__,' \         
                   |        |         
               fL   \       /         
               ______( (_  / \______  
             ,'  ,-----'   |        \ 
             `--{__________)        \/

#672: LINUX

Thu, 2001 Apr 26

linux

              ____...____           
           .'"           "'.        
          /    .--._.--.    \       
         /    /  _   _  \    \      
        /     | / \ / \ |     \     
       ;    .-' \o/ \o/ '-.    ;    
       |   | () .-"""-. () |   |    
       ;   |    \     /    |   ;    
        \  ;     \   /     ;  /     
         \  \     \ /     /  /      
        .->""--.   V   .--""<-.     
       /                       \    
      /          LINUX          \   
     /                           \  
    /      /     COCKS     \      \ 
   ;      |                 |      :
   |      |                 |      |
   |       \     .-v-.     /       |
    \       '.  /_   _\  .'       / 
     ;.       `--|   |--'       .;  
     | `-._   ____) (____   _.-' |  
     |   | ```   |   |   ``` |   |  
     ;   \      _|   |_      /   ;  
      \   \    (   Y   )    /   /   
       \   '.   "-----"   .'   /    
        \    `-.__   __.-'    /     
         '.       ```       .'      
jgs/Sexii /`-._         _.-'\       
         /  ,  ``;---;``  ,  \      
        |  /  |  |   |  |  \  |     
        '-'|__/\_/   \_/\__|'-'     

#1037: ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT

Fri, 2002 Apr 26

best of

FOR THIS PERFORMANCE TO HAVE A DEEP, LASTING EFFECT YOU SHOULD  
PLAY A RECORDING OF CAT STEVENS' "ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT" DURING
YOUR VIEWING EXPERIENCE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION.      
                                                                
STEP 1. OBTAIN A PIG. THIS ONE WILL DO:                         
                                                                
    _____                                                       
^..^     \9                                                     
(oo)_____/                                                      
   WW  WW    Pig                                                
                                                                
STEP 2. FIND A STURDY TOILET                                    
                                                                
     _                                                          
    | |                                                         
 ___| |                                                         
(    .'                                                         
 )__(    Toilet                                                 
                                                                
STEP 3. SHOVE THE PIG INTO THE TOILET HEAD-FIRST. HE WILL       
NOT FIT. DO THE BEST YOU CAN. WE DO NOT HAVE A GRAPHIC FOR      
STEP THREE SO WE PRESENT A MOUSE INSTEAD:                       
                                                                
o..o                                                            
(\/)S  Mouse                                                    
                                                                
JUST IMAGINE THE PIG STUCK FACE-FIRST IN THE TOILET. THE        
MOUSE IS OF NO MATTER.                                          
                                                                
STEP 4. FUCK THE PIG IN THE ASS. HIS SHARP TEETH, FIELD OF      
VISION AND ABILITY TO FIGHT BACK WILL BE RESTRAINED *AS LONG    
AS YOU HAVE STUFFED THE PIG PROPERLY INTO THE TOILET*. FUCK     
THAT PIG. YEAH, FUCK IT. JESUS CHRIST THE PIG DOESN'T LIKE      
THIS DEAL AT ALL AND THAT'S WHAT YOU GET OFF ON BABY. FUCK      
THAT LITTLE PIG. MMMMMM YEAH FINISHING MMMM PIG IN TOILET MMM   
                                                                
STEP 5. EVENTUALLY THE PIG WILL DROWN, GET "FUCKED-OUT" AND     
COLLAPSE IN ON ITSELF OR OTHERWISE CEASE TO CONTINUE            
PERFORMING AS FUCKTOY. REPLACE WITH FRESH PIG. SEE STEP 1.      

#1402: LORD OF THE RINGS GOES COMMERCIAL

Sat, 2003 Apr 26

                       _..               
                     .'   `",            
                    ;        \   BUD     
             .---._; ^,       ;          
          .-'      ;{ :   \  /;  /       
     .--""          \*'   o/ o/          
    /   ,  /         :    _`";           
   ;     \;          `.  ''"+'           
   |      }    /    _.'T"'-"\            
   :     /   .'.--""-,_ \    ;           
    \   /   /_         `,\   ;       WEIS
     : /   /  `-.,_      \`.  :          
     |;   {     .' `-     ; `, \      /  
     : \  `;   {  `-,__..-'   \ `}+=,    
fsc   : \  ;    `.   `,        `-,\"     
      ! |\ `;     \}?\|}                 
   .-'  | \ ;                            
 .'}/ i.'  \ `,    ER                    
 ``''-'    /   \                         
          /J|/{/  _/                     
            `' `                         

#1768: STOP THE WORLD

Mon, 2004 Apr 26

               _-o#&&*''''?d:>b\_                          
          _o/"`''  '',, dMF9MMMMMHo_     STOP THE WORLD    
       .o&#'        `"MbHMMMMMMMMMMMHo.                    
     .o"" '         vodM*$&&HMMMMMMMMMM?.                  
    ,'              $M&ood,~'`(&##MMMMMMH\                 
   /               ,MMMMMMM#b?#bobMMMMHMMML                
  &              ?MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM7MMM$R*Hk               
 ?$.            :MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM/HMMM|`*L              
|               |MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMbMH'   T,             
$H#:            `*MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMb#}'  `?             
]MMH#             ""*""""*#MMMMMMMMMMMMM'    -             
MMMMMb_                   |MMMMMMMMMMMP'     :             
HMMMMMMMHo                 `MMMMMMMMMT       .             
?MMMMMMMMP                  9MMMMMMMM}       -             
-?MMMMMMM                  |MMMMMMMMM?,d-    '             
 :|MMMMMM-                 `MMMMMMMT .M|.   :              
  .9MMM[                    &MMMMM*' `'    .               
   :9MMk                    `MMM#"        -                
     &M}                     `          .-                 
      `&.                             .                    
        `~,   .                     ./   I WANT TO JERK OFF
            . _                  .-                        
              '`--._,dd###pp=""'                           

#2133: ONCE YOU DIP

Tue, 2005 Apr 26

     ,%/7\\`                                                       
    (/// .\\)                                                      
   (((( -  )))   ONCE YOU DIP YOUR DICK INTO ANY PARTICULAR WOMAN  
   ((|)_*_/(((    MORE THAN A FEW TIMES YOU COME TO REALIZE THERE'S
   ))(/) (\((|)    NOTHING BUT BROKEN SHIT IN THERE AND DECIDE     
  ((((\___/))(\     TO MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE                     
 / ,-)     (-. \                                                   
( ( ( _   _ ) ) )                                                  
 \ \ )^ ^ ^( / /                                                   
  ) y       y (                                                    
  \(         )/                                                    
    \_______/                                                      
     \ /   /                                                       
      y   /                                                        
     (   '                                                         
      \  \                                                         
       \  y-._                                                     
  hjw  |\,' X-'                                                    
     _,T-)  /                                                      
    (__,-%_/                                                       

#2498: YAH MULE

Wed, 2006 Apr 26

                       m                                             
   $m                mm            m           FOR THE LAST TIME     
    "$mmmmm        m$"    mmmmmmm$"                                  
          """$m   m$    m$""""""               GET OUT OF MY WAY     
        mmmmmmm$$$$$$$$$"mmmm                  YOU INHUMAN QUEER     
  mmm$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ m$$$$m  "    m  "      COCKSUCKERS I'VE GOT  
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$  $$$$$$"$$$             DUNG TO ROLL INTO     
 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  $$$$$$$$$$             BALLS                 
 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$  $$$$$$$"""  m                                
 "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$  "      "       THEN I'VE GOT TO DRIVE
     """""""$$$$$$$$$$$m """"                  THOSE BALLS TO MARKET 
       mmmmmmmm"  m$   "$mmmmm                                       
     $$""""""      "$     """"""$$             THE SHIT MARKET       
   m$"               "m           "                                  
                       "                       YAH MULE              

#2863: RESTLESS MOUTH SYNDROME

Thu, 2007 Apr 26

                .aadddbbbbaa,       ,adddbbbbaaa.                 
             .ad"           "\bbmdd/"           "ba.              
          .,d"                 `"'                 "b,.           
       .,ad"                                         "ba,.        
    .,amd"  __..,,,aaaaaadddddddMbbbbbbbaaaaaaa,,,..__  "bma,.    
,am8888ca8"""""''                                ``""""8ac88888ma,
"""""]8a.                                               .a8[""""" 
      "8ba.                                           .ad8"'      
        `"8bma,.                                .,amd88"'         
            `"""88bmm==Normand===Veilleux==mmd88"""'              
                    `""""""""""""""""""""""'                      
                                                                  
          WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY RESTLESS MOUTH SYNDROME             
             DOESN'T QUALIFY ME FOR A DISABILITY                  

#3229: TONGUE PIERCINGS

Sat, 2008 Apr 26

      __             __                                                  
   .-'.'     .-.     '.'-.                                               
 .'.((      ( ^ `>     )).'.    (COCKS GUN)                              
/`'- \'._____\ (_____.'/ -'`\                                            
|-''`.'------' '------'.`''-|   OKAY HANDS UP WHO HAS A TONGUE PIERCING  
|.-'`.'.'.`/ | | \`.'.'.`'-.|                                            
 \ .' . /  | | | |  \ . '. /                                             
  '._. :  _|_| |_|_  : ._.'     SEE IT'S A FUN GAME LIKE SKEET SHOOTING  
     ````` /T"Y"T\ `````                                                 
          / | | | \             EXCEPT IT ACTUALLY IMPROVES THE GENE POOL
   jgs   `'`'`'`'`'`                                                     

#3594: TWENTIETH CENTURY

Sun, 2009 Apr 26

islam

       _,,--,,_                                                          
     /`       .`\                                                        
    /  '  _.-'   \    OKAY FOLKS LET'S GET WITH THE TWENTIETH CENTURY    
    |  `'_{}_    |    AND STOP SPELLING AND PRONOUNCING THE WORD "MOSLEM"
    |  /`    `\  |                                                       
     \/ ==  == \/                                                        
     /| (.)(.) |\                                                        
     \|  __)_  |/                                                        
      |\/____\/|                                                         
      | ` ~~ ` |                                                         
      \        /      MMMKAY                                             
jgs    `.____.`                                                          

#3959: DEVOLUTION

Mon, 2010 Apr 26

                __                                     
              _/ =\   ONE DAY I'LL EVOLVE INTO A WICCAN
            ,'  .__)                                   
           / | |/      SAD HUH                         
           | | |\                                      
           ( | |.)                                     
           / /_/<                                      
         _/  /\  \                                     
      ,-'__,'  \ |                                     
      ) /      | |_                                    
Stef  ""       \___)                                   

#4324: PORTAL 2

Tue, 2011 Apr 26

portal

       __                                                       
      /  ;           JESUS PORTAL 2 JUST TOTALLY RIPPED OFF     
  _.--"""-..   _.    ALL THE IDEAS FROM NARBACULAR DROP         
 /F         `-'  [                                              
]  ,    ,    ,    ;                                             
 '--L__J_.-"" ',_;   SIGNED, A FAIRLY CONFUSED AND IGNORANT FISH
     '-._J                                                      
            fsc                                                 

#4690: SNORGTEES

Thu, 2012 Apr 26

I HAVE A SUGGESTION FOR                                   
A SNORGTEES T-SHIRT                                       
                                                          
           __.-.__.-.__                                   
         .'\ '-.__.-' /'.                                 
        /  |    __    |  \                                
       /   |   /  \   |   \      DICKS ARE DELICIOUS      
       '-._/   |  |   \_.-'                               
           |   |  |   |                                   
           |   |  |   |                                   
           |  /    \  |    FAGGOTS FAGGOTS FAGGOTS FAGGOTS
   jgs/tQn |  \_/\_/  |                                   
           '._      _.'                                   
              `""""`                                      

#5055: GOSPEL IN THE SNOW

Fri, 2013 Apr 26

                   o       \                          
      o                     `.   o                    
 o            o            o  \                      `
-. .-.-. .---. .-.,-.,-. ..-. /                       
  )| |  `'____\' o _____\||  `                        
  `' |  |-._--.|  |----.| |        o                  
     |o ||-.| ||,-.    || |   o           SOMEDAY     
o    |  ||_|| |/ oo\   || |                WE'LL ALL  
     |  || || C   ._)o || | o               BE FREE   
    o|  || ||o|\`-/    || |      ,. o                 
     |  ||_|| ,'\,\    || |   _\('')                  
     |  ||o||/\ \ .:  o|| |    (;  .)                 
     |  || |(  \_\||___|| | _,.(|___)-.               
     | o||_|||`-`,\)----' |   o                       
   o |  |   ||..|.|  o _  |-.       _.-.              
 `.-.|._|_.-:|__|_|-.-' `-'.__    o                   
          o   '--`-`    o        -  SSt               

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