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#18: MONKEY'S PROBLEM

Mon, 1999 Jul 12

                __------__                                       
              /~          ~\                                     
             |    //^\\//^\|         PLEASE GOD DON'T LET ALL THE
           /~~\  ||  o| |o|:~\     / OTHER MONKEYS AT THE ZOO SEE
          | |6   ||___|_|_||:|    /  MY RAGING HARDON FOR HOMOS  
           \__.  /      o  \/'   /                               
            |   (       O   )  _/                                
   /~~~~\    `\  \         /                                     
  | |~~\ |     )  ~------~`\                                     
 /' |  | |   /     ____ /~~~)\                                   
(_/'   | | |     /'    |    ( |                                  
       | | |     \    /   __)/ \                                 
       \  \ \      \/    /' \   `\                               
         \  \|\        /   | |\___|                              
           \ |  \____/     | |                                   
           /^~>  \        _/ <                                   
          |  |         \       \                                 
          |  | \        \        \                               
          -^-\  \       |        )                               
               `\_______/^\______/-jurcy                         

#384: THE BIGGEST SHIT

Wed, 2000 Jul 12

       ____  __.---""---.__  ____                                  
      /####\/              \/####\                                 
     (/-----)              (------)                                
      \__OO/                \OO__/                                 
    __/                          \__     I'M GOING TO TAKE         
 .-"    .                      .    "-.    THE BIGGEST SHIT        
 |  |   \.._                _../   |  |      YOU'VE EVER SEEN !!!!!
  \  \    \."-.__________.-"./    /  /                             
    \  \    "--.________.--"    /  /                               
  ___\  \_                    _/  /___                             
./    )))))                  (((((    \.                           
\                                      /                           
 \           \_          _/           /                            
   \    \____/""-.____.-""\____/    /                              
     \    \                  /    /                                
      -.  .|               ./.                                     
    ." / |  -              /  | -  ".                              
 ."  /   |   -           /   |   -   ".                            
/.-./.--.|.--.\          /.--.|.--.\.-.|                           

#749: DARTH VADER OR NO

Thu, 2001 Jul 12

                   * * *                    
               *           *                
            *                 *             
          *                     *           
         *.......         .......*          
           "      .     .      "            
        *   ".     .. ..     ."   *         
              " " "  .  " " "               
       *             .             *        
                 .........                  
     *         /. ||||||| ."         *      
              / .|||||||||. "               
  *          / *.|||||||||.* "          *   
   * *      /  *  -------  *  "      * *    
       * * |      """""""      | * *        
            |   *         *   |             
            |       * *       |             
                                            
IS THIS DARTH VADER OR SOME SORT OF S&M MASK

#1114: RAPE BLANKET

Fri, 2002 Jul 12

anime, word

                          _.--_,                       
SLOWLY AS THE SUN SET    / ' ('|                       
THE RAPE BLANKET CAME   | !. `.\  _.----.=~~`.         
DOWN LIKE A CURTAIN     L_      ~~        ~`. `.       
                     /(/                    `  |.      
                   ,| '                        |/\     
                  /``                          ' /     
                  :                              ~~`.  
                  /\             ,'               .  `.
                  \,       ,    /                  `. |
                 .'       :    /      '             | '
                 ||  |   '|   | |    |     |   `_    / 
                 `|  |  |  \   \`   || __  | | / \,  | 
                  \. |   \  \   \`   \\  \ | `/\ /., ; 
                   `.|  \,-..>--.~`-._>_. \_\ \/| | /  
                     `-./ |  >' |     | \_~  ~7\' ''   
                      _,/~: `' /|     |-.\_.  | `~|    
                      \ `,\`T dmp     |b| |  ,|_/ \    
                      (_ \|\`_\P      |P) |~|\\    \   
                       (  \/      '    ~.   | | _  ;   
                        \' |                | |  ~T    
                        // `.   `-...'      |-'=-~     
                        \||  -_          _-~  \        
                         \J |  T-m....--~  . \ |       
                           \J\_| "###"|    | J~        
                           ____|  `"  |.__/-~          
                        `~T    |___   |.____           
                         \\\   `---====     ~~--       
                          \`:-. \    /      .','       
                           . `-:.\  /   _.-;.'         
                           `    `- /---~.-~ |  DS      
                            \   |  ~~~~~    /          
                             `---\__/\_   _/           
                                ,'||   ~~~             
                               /  | \                  

#1479: HOLLYWOOD DIET

Sat, 2003 Jul 12

I JUST LEARNED THAT THE AIDS WILL MAKE ME SKINNY AGAIN
                                                      
                       __                             
                       ",'.                           
                         ",\                          
                         / Y                          
        ,             _,'--.\                         
        \_-(         ;--(/\ )                         
          \'.         )6,6 /)                         
           \ \_       \ _, |_                         
            ', '--/'---'- /_/'-._                     
              '-'-L._  -|/      /-._     /            
                     |      |-~'--._'-._/(,           
                    ,_/>   /         ''--~            
                    /\<_ _/                           
                   // "-'-'\                          
                  ,~-.   ._ )                         
                  /   \_/  '\                         
                 /   /   \   |                        
                /  /`    _\  |                        
               ( ,/  _.-' __.'                        
              / /  [((---'                            
             / /   ) )                                
            / /    \/                                 
           K=/                                        
   snd    / _>                                        
         )_/                                          

#1845: HINDSIGHT

Mon, 2004 Jul 12

    _____                    _____    
---'   __\______      ______/__   `---
          ______)    (______          
          __)            (__          
         __)              (__         
---.______)     VK         (______.---
                                      
 HINDSIGHT IS JUST LIKE REGULAR SIGHT 
       ONLY MORE FINGER-POINTY        

#2210: W.W.C.J.D.

Tue, 2005 Jul 12

pornstar, wwjd

    __  __      __  __  __      __  __      __  __  __            
 __|\@\|\@\ ___|\@\|\@\|\@\____|\@\|\@\____|\@\|\@\|\@\__         
|\ \a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\a\@\ \        
| \ \a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\ \ \a\@\a\@\a\@\ \       
\  \ \|@|\|@|  \ \|@|\|@|\|@|  \ \|@|\|@|  \ \|@|\|@|\|@|  \      
 \  \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \     
  \  \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \   \    
   \  \___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\   
    \ |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   
      '---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'pjb
                                                                  
                     WHAT WOULD CHLOE JONES DO                    

#2575: FORK

Wed, 2006 Jul 12

       _                                                         
      / )   I'M MAKING A FORK OF AN EXISTING PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE
|||| / /    PROJECTS BECAUSE I, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AM A       
||||/ /     FUCKWAD DIPSHIT                                      
\__(_/                                                           
 ||//       (NOTE: THE KNIFE IS FOR CUTTING MY OWN BALLS OFF     
 ||/        AFTER I FINISH THIS SPEECH)                          
 ||                                                              
(||   hjw                                                        
 ""                                                              

#2940: GAY MOOSE

Thu, 2007 Jul 12

canada, newsgroup

                 .-.                             .-.                   
               /    |                           |   \                  
              ;     ;  _                    _   ;    ;                 
              |    / ,' |                  ; `.  \    |                
              ;   '-'  /  _                 \  `-'    |                
               \      (_.' |            .-.  \        ;                
                `.         |            |  `-'       /                 
                  `._      \     _      |          .'                  
                    ,-''-.  `.-/` `\.-.-'      _.-`                    
                  ,'      `'--' oo   ._).__..-'                        
                  |  O O             ;                                 
                  ;              _   |                                 
               <\  \             /  /                                  
                _\  `.         .'  |     WATCH OUT THE GAY CANADA MOOSE
              ,'"`\   `-.___.-' \  \      IS GOING TO HOLD YOU DOWN AND
             /     \            ;   '.     MAKE YOU DRINK MOLSON BEER  
          ,-'       `.         /      `.                               
       __/  `,       `.       ;     |   \                              
     /`  ,    \       '\     ;  |    ;   ;                             
   ,'| ,_|\_.; \      __\    |  '.   _\  |`.                           
 _/  ;  _\ ,_7  ;  ,-'  '\ __\  _,-'"` _.'  \                          
`.    \ >_,|\    |/       /_ \"`  _,.-'      ;                         
  `.   \     ` .-'--------`/ |.-'` \_---------mx-                      
   |    `.    /           '-'    `/`_\                                 
   |      |,-'               \>   |/ `                                 
   `.   _/                                                             
     \ /                                                               
      ;                                                                
                                                                       

#3306: FORTUNE COOKIE

Sat, 2008 Jul 12

           .="=.                                                         
      /\_ /|6 6|\ _/\     WRITE ME A CHECK FOR $1,000.00                 
      \_//O\_+_/O\\_/                                                    
       \\\/`"""`\///       THEN WRITE ME ANOTHER FOR $2,000.00           
        \   ($)   /                                                      
       ./---/_\---\.        IF YOU KEEP DOUBLING THE AMOUNT AND WRITING  
      /`"---------"`\        CHECKS TO ME, GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU
     /   /   |   \   \                                                   
     /   /    |  \   \        I'M A FORTUNE COOKIE THEMED PONZI SCHEME   
jgs   `._._.-'-._.-'-.'                                                  

#3671: GONZO

Sun, 2009 Jul 12

porn

      _________________________________________________________ 
     ||-------------------------------------------------------||
     ||.--.    .-._                        .----.             ||
     |||==|____| |H|___            .---.___|""""|_____.--.___ ||
     |||  |====| | |xxx|_          |+++|=-=|_  _|-=+=-|==|---|||
     |||==|    | | |   | \         |   |   |_\/_|Black|  | ^ |||
     |||  |    | | |   |\ \   .--. |   |=-=|_/\_|-=+=-|  | ^ |||
     |||  |    | | |   |_\ \_( oo )|   |   |    |Magus|  | ^ |||
     |||==|====| |H|xxx|  \ \ |''| |+++|=-=|""""|-=+=-|==|---|||
     ||`--^----'-^-^---'   `-' ""  '---^---^----^-----^--^---^||
     ||-------------------------------------------------------||
     ||-------------------------------------------------------||
     ||               ___                   .-.__.-----. .---.||
     ||              |===| .---.   __   .---| |XX|<(*)>|_|^^^|||
     ||         ,  /(|   |_|III|__|''|__|:x:|=|  |     |=| Q |||
     ||      _a'{ / (|===|+|   |++|  |==|   | |  |Illum| | R |||
     ||      '/\\/ _(|===|-|   |  |''|  |:x:|=|  |inati| | Y |||
     ||_____  -\{___(|   |-|   |  |  |  |   | |  |     | | Z |||
     ||       _(____)|===|+|[I]|DK|''|==|:x:|=|XX|<(*)>|=|^^^|||
     ||              `---^-^---^--^--'--^---^-^--^-----^-^---^||
     ||-------------------------------------------------------||
Qryz ||_______________________________________________________||
                                                                
         CAN WE ALL JUST AGREE THAT "GONZO" IS A COMPLETELY     
         MEANINGLESS PORN VIDEO CLASSIFICATION AND THEREFORE    
         SHOULD STOP BEING USED SINCE IT SERVES NO PURPOSE      

#4036: POOR GAME ETIQUETTE

Mon, 2010 Jul 12

battlefield

                                                         ,-,  
                                                       ,',' `,
   WHO KEEPS SAYING "TITS" AT THE END OF             ,' , ,','
   BATTLEFIELD: BAD COMPANY 2 ROUNDS               ,' ,'  ,'  
   INSTEAD OF "GG" AS IS PROPER ETIQUETTE        ,' ,', ,'    
                                               ,'  , ,,'      
                                             ,' ,', ,'        
   HINT: ME                                ,' , , ,'          
                                       __,',___','            
                    __,,,,,,,------""""_    __,-"""""_`=--    
     _..---.____.--'''''''''''_,---'  _; --'  ___,-'___       
   ,':::::,--.::'''''' ''''''' ___,--'   __,-';    __,-"""    
  ;:::::,'   |::'' '''' '===)-' __; _,--'    ;---''           
 |:: @,'    ;:;\ ''''==== =),--'_,-'   ` )) ;                 
 `:::'    _;:/  `._=== ===)_,-,-' `  )  `  ;                  
  | ;--.;:::; `    `-._=_)_.-'   `  `  )  /`-._               
  '        `-:.  `         `    `  ) )  ,'`-.. \              
              `:_ `    `        )    _,'     | :              
                 `-._    `  _--  _,-'        | :              
                     `----..\  \'            | |              
                            _\  \            | :              
 _____  jrei           _,--'__,-'            : :      _______ 
()___ '-------.....__,'_ --'___________ _,--'--\\-''''  _____ 
     `-------.....______\\______ _________,--._-'---''''      
                     `=='                                     

#4401: HOARDING LIQUIDS

Tue, 2011 Jul 12

            ( (                                                 
            _)_)      I HAVE CUPS AND CUPS OF WATER             
 ( (       |====|-+   AND COFFEE AND JUICE IN MY OFFICE !!!!!111
  ) )      |\/\/| |                                             
(----)-)   |====|-+   I AM HOARDING LIQUIDS LIKE                
 \__/-'    \____/     SCHIZOPHRENICS RAISED IN THE WILD         
`----'                                                          

#4767: I MEAN DIDN'T

Thu, 2012 Jul 12

                .---.                                          
               |     |                                         
   .  /  '  ,  |     |                                         
 ." ".          `---'                                          
."   ".  -                                                     
".     ".           CAN'T WE JUST LICK DICK AND SAY WE DID     
  ".  ."\                                                      
    ""\  \            I MEAN DIDN'T                            
       \  \     .-.                                            
        %  \    |".".   NO DID                                 
     .~" \  \   | |".".                                        
  .--.____\  \__| |_".".___.|___________                       
 |". ".----\  \------".".---".o . ".    `".                    
 | ".o".  ".\  \      "-" |   $\ .|".     ".                   
 |  ".o".    \  \=====| |=`--   #.'.".     ".===========._     
 |   ". ".    ". ".   | | .   bIt| ".".     ".=========='      
 |    ". ".___________| |_______/|____".______.                
 ".   |"--"                                   ".               
  ".  |                                         |              
   ". |    _________                _________   |              
    ".|___/..=====. \______________/..=====. \__|              
           ."\ | /".                ."\ | /".                  
           |-- O --|                |-- O --|                  
           "./ | \."                "./ | \."    DEFINITELY DID
            "====="              PR  "====="                   

#5132: JAMES JOYCE REDUX

Fri, 2013 Jul 12

               |||      |||                  ||                        |     
              || |      |||                 ||                          |    
               |||  ||||                    |                  ;         |   
             ||| ||||   ||                 ||              ::::;\        ||  
                    ||||                   | :      :::    ;;;;///6|      |  
                            ///|||||||||||| |::          :::;;;;//6|     ||  
                         ////    ||      || |               ;; //C6|   |//|  
              ||| |||  ///      ||||  ||    | _-_ =    dBCB~~-//C66||/6   |  
              | ||     |    |||||   |||||   |/_=-\\   'JBPYA\  /C //CC6   |  
               |      ||        ||    | |   |'<6>>|/~~|B~6 >||||/ ;//C66 ||  
      ||||     || |||||    ||    ||         |\  ")    |\`~  //    ;//C66||   
   ||||  ||||||||||||       ||              | `~~'      ~-~'/     ;//C6      
|||                          |              |      ,   \        ;;;/CC6      
 |                                          |     '"    JU:  :;;;;;//66      
 ||                                         ', '   ~-_=dR:  : ;;;;//66       
     ||||                                    \   -,  _   _     ;;;/C6 |      
      |                                      ',    ~-==-~`'   ;;;//6 ||  jorn
             || |                              \           ::;;;//6%6|||     
             ||||                               '          ;///C%%%%/| |     
                                                 '|-___-|||CC666%%%/|  |||   
                                                  "||||||   6%%%%//      ||||
                                                                             
                     BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING                          

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FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Tue, 2020 Jul 14)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe