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#80: DIGITAL DILDO

Sun, 1999 Sep 12

  ___                                  
 |---|                                 
 |_|_|                                 
 |   |                                 
 |   |                                 
 |   |                                 
 |   |                                 
 |   |                                 
 |___|  AM I A DILDO OR A DIGITAL WATCH
/_____\                                
|11:10|   /                            
|_____|  /                             
|.....| /                              
|.....|                                
\ ___ /                                
 |   |                                 
 |   |                                 
 |   |      I WONDER TOO               
 | . |                                 
 | . |     /                           
 | . | mga                             
 | . |                                 
 | . |                                 
 | . |                                 
 | . |                                 
 | . |                                 
 |___|                                 

#446: GAYEST SPORT

Tue, 2000 Sep 12

THE GAYEST SPORT EVER INVENTED   
            ________             
    o      |   __   |            
      \_ O |  |__|  |            
   ____/ \ |___WW___|            
   __/   /     ||                
               ||                
               ||                
_______________||________________

#811: PIG

Wed, 2001 Sep 12

  d^b _,,ddP"""Ybb,,_ d^b             
 d  ,dP"'         `"Yb,  b            
 b,d"                 "b,d            
 d"     ,d""YgP""b,     "b   FREEZE   
d'      8  o g o  8      `b           
8       d,gPPPPRg,b       8  I'M A COP
8       dP'     'Yb       8           
8       8)  8 8  (8       8           
Y,      Yb       dP      ,P           
 Ya      "8ggggg8"      aP            
  "Ya      b,,,d      aP"             
   8"Yb,_         _,dP"8              
   8    8YbbgggddP8    8  DA          
   d    b         d    b              
   """"""         """"""              

#1176: AWWWW YEAH

Thu, 2002 Sep 12

  WILD WILD WEST WAS POSSIBLY THE  
BEST MOVIE EVER CREATED BY HUMANITY
                                   
          /                        
         /                         
   oo\                             
  (__)\       __                   
    \  \    .'  `.                 
     \  \  /      \                
      \  '"        \               
       .       (  ) \              
        '-| )__| :.  \             
          | |  | | \  '.           
         c__; c__;  '-..'>.__      

#1541: KITTENDOODLES

Fri, 2003 Sep 12

     ,-""-.        /)   OOPS !!!! FIRED FOR INCOMPETENCE    
    /  c/-}       //   AND CRYING AT WORK AGAIN !!!!!!!     
   ( ,--)T-.     //                                         
    `/ ,_) )\__,-/   THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE I CAN ALWAYS       
    / /.   \'_,-"<  FIND SOME GUY TO TAKE CARE OF ME !!!!!!!
   / /  ) _`).__                                            
 _/,'  (    ""-."-.  P.S. FROM NOW ON YOU MUST              
'-/   _/`-----. ),'  ADDRESS ME AS "KITTENDOODLES"          
o!O '"-'"""----"                                            

#1907: ON THE D.L.

Sun, 2004 Sep 12

     \'-.      _.-"/             \"-._      .-'/               
(\    :  :    /   /               \   \    :  :    /)          
 \'-.  i |   /   /                 \   \   | i  .-'/           
  '. \  \i  /_.-"                   "-._\  i/  / .'            
    '-'-.; /"                           "\ ;.-'-'              
         \/                               \/                   
       ('""')                           ('""')                 
        \  /                             \  /                  
         )(                               )(                   
        i__i                             i__i                  
  fsc  i____i                           i____i                 
                                                               
                                                               
   WHAT'S MORE DISGUSTING THAN A FUCKING FAGGOT ?!?!?!?        
                                                               
   A FUCKING FAGGOT WHO CAN'T FACE THE FACT THAT HE'S A FUCKING
    FAGGOT                                                     
                                                               
   GOD ISN'T FOOLED                                            

#2272: MOLESTOCRACY

Mon, 2005 Sep 12

word

       ^                                               
       |                                               
       +                                               
       |    THIS IS NO LONGER A CONSTITUTIONAL REPUBLIC
       |                                               
       |      I NOW DECLARE THIS TO BE A MOLESTOCRACY  
       |                                               
       |                                               
       A                                               
      ===                ________                      
     /EEE\               |______|                      
    //EEE\\              |*(  )*|         ejm 97       
___//_____\\_____________|O|  |O|_______               

#2637: MASTURBATION HACKS

Tue, 2006 Sep 12

jave, original

M   M  AA   SSS  TTTTTT U   U RRRR  BBBB   AA  TTTTTT III  OOO  N   N 
MM MM A  A S       TT   U   U R   R B   B A  A   TT    I  O   O NN  N 
M M M AAAA  SSS    TT   U   U RRRR  BBBB  AAAA   TT    I  O   O N N N 
M   M A  A     S   TT   U   U R R   B   B A  A   TT    I  O   O N  NN 
M   M A  A SSSS    TT    UUU  R  RR BBBB  A  A   TT   III  OOO  N   N 
                                                                      
                                            H  H  AA   CCC K  K  SSS  
                     .                      H  H A  A C    K K  S     
    ..+7"7:,       JQQW                     HHHH AAAA C    KK    SSS  
.J"`       .:      JHgM                     H  H A  A C    K K      S 
           f    `  Jqm#      `  `           H  H A  A  CCC K  K SSSS  
   `    `.Y        dkm#                                               
     ..Z6+...J?11.,wqq@   `                        TIPS AND TOOLS FOR 
     `?????????+...XHg@zi.                     REALLY RUBBING ONE OUT 
           ...+tOwIHH@Nw0sO.   `                                      
        JZo.JJHwSkNMH@MdddWZy1.                                       
        4Wszz2ddWKBqHHHMmNSzJllt+.                                    
        +=OWsZ&JTNQHMMMHM4JZzOaQWt                                    
         zlzwWsOz+nWWNH0wAQqHHHHH\                              ..ZTTG
         .OOtZdWyOzWWWkHgHHqqkkbX                             .Z^     
           uvrrZXXmgHHHqqqqqqqqkS.                            #       
            ?OzrwfWkkqqqmgggHHUUC`   `                      `.t       
              ?OwWkqmmgHHHU0Zv?!`    J?Ov+`                  .F       
                ?WkHHUUVOv+!``       NH@@H                    U.      
                  ??zz+!!`           NkHHH                    .H.ggaJ.
                     ``             .NkggH                 `.f= T&    
                                    .NkmgR               ` +3    .Ta,.
                                    .HkmHR                .F        `?
                                    .HqmHk                J|          
                                    .HqmHR                .b     `    
                                    JHmmHk?.??z.           T,   .     
                            ....+z17dNmgHHuJ++Fdo.          W,  ......
                      ..+llzlOvi1dJHgHH@HMSe&.JrOZi          S,`` ``..
                      dkllttOj1fKddNHM@@M@MkKdyvwvvZ,     `.?`4,      
                      `HWzlOrzdqMgMdMNMMMMMd#Hdel4vvrX,    .!  N.     
                      .ZWWyOG?+JNdMgXkHHMMMQMN#MJckvwvrn.   i,.,r     
                      .XXWVyO4lJdHMmgHMMMMMNMMH#&I8Xzvzvwi   ?1,N     
                       1OwXWkOv&1J8H@H@HHHMMNM5Ju9rvvvzvvwd,  ?vs     
                       .zzwZXkOwww&JXNHMM8UohA&VwwvwAgQHMMM:  .d6.`   
                        .wrwvXkZwzXXWpbbHWUXXXQmkH@MMHHHHHW ..HSC`    
                       ` .OrrOXfyvuZyffWQkH@gHgHgHHmqqqkkkWMHkV!`     
                          `OrrrXWpWH@@HMHHHHHmmmmmmmmmqqkHW=!`        
                           `zwvvXWHgHHmqqmmmgggggggggggmqW0`          
                            `zwryfkqqqqmmmgggggg@g@@@HHHW0I`          
                             `zwXfkqqqmmggggg@@HHHHUU0VOI?! `         
                              `zwWkqqmggg@HHHWWU0VOvz?!``             
                              ``?WkkHHHHWWU0VZOz?!```                 
                               ` ?XUWUUXZOI+?!``                      
                                ` ?1zzz?!```                          
  ____ . ___  ____ _   _           ````  `   tQn                      
  |  | ' |__] |  |  \_/                                               
  |__|   |__] |__|   |                                TRAN Q. NGUYEN  
                                     WITH A FOREWORD BY PAUL REUBENS  

#3002: THE COLON: WHAT IS IT REALLY LIKE

Wed, 2007 Sep 12

                ^                                                   
              ,| ].                                                 
            /] ] ] ]\                                               
          /] ] ] ] ] ]\                                             
 |\      | ] ] ] ] ] ] ]      /|    THE HUMAN COLON, IF LAID OUT END
 | |\   /] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]\   /| |    TO END, WOULD BE REALLY GROSS   
 | | ||| ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]|| | |                                    
 |U|U||| ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]||U|U|                                    
|"\| |||U]U]U]U]U]U]U]U]U]|| |/"|                                   
|  \ ||| ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]|| /  |                                   
||\ \||| ]_]-'""@""`-|_] ]||/ /||                                   
|| L  |`\  , |_____| .  /'|  T ||                                   
|| |\ |  |{  `"""""'  }|  | /| ||                                   
|`"""'|  | \         / |  |`"""'|                                   
`"""""[__|  |_______|  |__]"""""'                                   
         `-.|"""""""|.-'    Ojo'98                                  

#3368: PRESS 1 FOR ENGLISH

Fri, 2008 Sep 12

   ,----.    ,-.   ,----.,------. ,-.   ,-.,-. ,-.   
  / ,-,_/  ,'  |  / /"P /`-, ,-','  |  / //  |/ /    
 / / __  ,' ,| | / ,---'  / / ,' ,| | / // J P /     
/ '-' /,' ,--. |/ /      / /,' ,--. |/ // /|  /      
`----''--'   `-'`'.--""""--.--'   `-'`' `' `-'       
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,'.n*""""*N.`.#######################
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN/ J',n*""*n.`L \##### ### ### ### ####
              : J J___/\___L L :#####################
nnnnnnnnnnnnnn{ [{ `.    ,' }] }## ### ### ### ### ##
NNNNNNNNNNNNNN: T T /,'`.\ T J :#####################
               \ L,`*n,,n*',J /                      
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn`. *n,,,,n* ,'nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN`-..__..-'NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
,-.    ,-.  ,-. ,----. ,----.,-. ,----.   ,-.        
|  `.  \  `.|  \\  .--`\ \"L \\ \\ .-._\  |  `.  o!0 
| |. `. \ \ ` L \\  __\ \ .  < \ \\ \  __ | |. `.    
| .--. `.\ \`-'\ \\ `---.\ \L `.\ \\ `-` \| .--. `.  
`-'   `--``'    `-'`----' `-'`-' `' `----'`-'   `--' 
                                                     
   WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO PRESS 1 FOR ENGLISH          
                                                     
   WAIT IS IT THAT BECAUSE IT'S A TEST AND IF SOMEONE
   HITS ANY OTHER NUMBER THE COPS COME AND KICK THEM 
   OUT OF THE COUNTRY ?!?!?!?                        
                                                     
   FUCK YEAH THAT'S AWESOME                          

#3733: GERMANY VS. ITALY

Sat, 2009 Sep 12

german

            .-.                                                       
           /  /                                                       
          /. /    IF BOLOGNE, ITALY CAN BE PRONOUNCED "BALONEY" THEN  
 )       /c\/    WHY CAN'T COLOGNE, GERMANY BE PRONOUNCED "COLONSCOPY"
  (     /'\/                                                          
 )     /  /                                                           
(     /  /                                                            
 )   /  /                                                             
  ( /. /                                                              
   .`.'.Pru                                                           

#4098: KOMODO DRAGON

Sun, 2010 Sep 12

       _____                                                                 
 _.--~_..__ ~~-._                                                            
:..____~         ~~--.._                                                     
 ~~-.. ~ ._             ~~----__________                                     
      `-._ `.    __                     ~~~~~~-----...__                     
           ~~\.     ~-.                    .------..    ~~~---__             
              `.   . .- ~~-----_________ ,'         ~== __      ~~--__       
                \   \=_                  |           ___   ~  -       ~-.    
                 \.  ) ~--__             |   `._     ;:~~:---__          `.  
                  `._ \     \~-.-------~~ \   \ ~~~~~_::. )    ~~--__     |`.
                   |  |   ,=:__)           \   \     `----'          `-. /  |
                   |  |                __...=-. )                      ;'   |
               ,-=~~_,'               '~~.==----'     _Seal_       _,-'    / 
                 ~~~                          _______.......----~~~     _,'  
                                       --~~""""---......._________...--'     
   I'M ONE SEXY MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON                                         

#4463: MELOS

Mon, 2011 Sep 12

                                       _,.          ___.    .               
     ____        ,._               --=:_ *: ======((|_L]_   \\              
   c:____]((=-  :* _:=- - - - -         `'       (__(____)   \\             
    / //   ___   `' ,._                                       \\___.        
   / //  _/_/_]=== :* _:=--          ,.          ___.        _((|_L]_       
 _/ //_.(_(_)(_)..  `'           --=: *: ======((|_L]_     _/(__(\_ _)\_    
/____\_\          `....              `'       (__(____)                  cjr
                                                                            
   WAIT WAIT BEFORE WE START LET'S ENGAGE IN A MELIAN DIALOGUE              
                                                                            
   (I SAID THAT BECAUSE I HEARD SOMEONE SAY IT IN THIS CONTEXT              
    AND IT SOUNDS SMART)                                                    
                                                                            
   HOLD ON                                                                  
                                                                            
   (LOOKING UP WHAT THE TERM MEANS)                                         
                                                                            
   OH FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU                                                    

#4829: THE MINOTAUR'S REALLY A NICE GUY

Wed, 2012 Sep 12

minotaur*

     .      .                                              
     |\____/|                                              
    (\|----|/)                                             
     \ 0  0 /      HEEEEEEEEEEY WANNA COME INTO MY MAZE    
      |    |                                               
   ___/\../\____       I TOTALLY WON'T HURT YOU OR ANYTHING
  /     --       \                                         
 /  \         /   \                                        
|    \___/___/(   |                                        
\   /|  }{   | \  )                                        
 \  ||__}{__|  |  |                                        
  \  |;;;;;;;\  \ / \_______                               
   \ /;;;;;;;;| [,,[|======'                               
     |;;;;;;/ |     /                                      
     ||;;|\   |                                            
snd  ||;;/|   /                                            
     \_|:||__|                                             
      \ ;||  /                                             
      |= || =|                                             
      |= /\ =|                                             
      /_/  \_\                                             

#5194: KEEP CALM

Thu, 2013 Sep 12

            uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu                                          
          u" uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu "u                                        
        u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u                                      
      u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u         ENOUGH WITH THE "KEEP CALM"
    u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u       HORSESHIT KTHXBAI          
  u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u                                
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u                              
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $                              
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $                              
$ $$$" ... "$...  ...$" ... "$$$  ... "$$$ $                              
$ $$$u `"$$$$$$$  $$$  $$$$$  $$  $$$  $$$ $                              
$ $$$$$$uu "$$$$  $$$  $$$$$  $$  """ u$$$ $                              
$ $$$""$$$  $$$$  $$$u "$$$" u$$  $$$$$$$$ $                              
$ $$$$....,$$$$$..$$$$$....,$$$$..$$$$$$$$ $                              
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $                              
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"                              
  "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"                                
    "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"                                  
      "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"                                    
        "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"                                      
          "u """""""""""""""""" u"                                        
            """"""""""""""""""""                                          

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TOYS
FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Tue, 2020 Jul 14)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe