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#213: LET ME GET A MAN
,,,,, PLEASE GOD LET ME GET A MAN
////""\ .
(((/ m m -|- __
)))c = ) | (__)
////-./~` . []
(((( `.`\ :: SO I CAN STOP DRAWING []
)))`\ \)).-;.' THESE ASCII ARTS .------, []
(() `._.-'` _( )[]
)/ `. | .'`^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^))\`.----'`[]
jgs ( \' { ~ - ~~ _ ~ - ~~ - ~ - (( | | []
.-.--\ \ { )) | | []
|_;_._`\ |{ ((__|_|-----[]
| ; ``` ;{ )) []
| /``-.____/ `~~~[]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'-' []
`' (__) (__)
|
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#579: UPPITY QUEEN
.
. .
/ . \
IT IS / /
SERIOUSLY /. ./ /\
HARD TO GET |. . ./__/. |
INTO THAT \. . ./
UPPITY QUEEN'S \. . ./
PANTS \. . ./
\. . ./
========
------------
==============
BUT THE KING \ /
AND I GET GAY | |
EVERY TUESDAY | |
| |
; `
/ \
/ \
/ \
` . '
\=============/
-------------------
=====================
|
|
#944: PLONK
figlet, plonk, usenet
____ _ _ _ _ _
| _ \ | | ___ _ __ | | __ | | | | | |
| |_) | | | / _ \ | '_ \ | |/ / | | | | | |
| __/ | | | (_) | | | | | | < |_| |_| |_|
|_| |_| \___/ |_| |_| |_|\_\ (_) (_) (_)
I'M NEW TO USENET !!!!!!!!!!! BUT I'VE SEEN
OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT SO I'M GOING TO REPEAT
IT LIKE A USELESS TURD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I PRESUME IT MEANS SOMETHING LIKE "WELL
PLAYED" BUT I'M NOT SURE
|
|
#1309: A TRIBUTE TO SISKO
www
/n n\ /\ I COME FROM THE LAND DOWN UNDER
|/^\| / \ WHERE WOMEN GLOW AND MEN PLUNDER
| , | ^||^
\_/ || CAN YOU HEAR CAN YOU HEAR THAT THUNDER
_U_ || YOU BETTER RUN YOU BETTER TAKE COVER
/` `''-----'P3
/ |. .|''-----"||
\'| | || THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS I'M SUCH AN ORIGINAL
\| | || AUSSIE FUCKWAD I COULDN'T EVEN COME UP
E | || WITH ANYTHING BETTER TO INCLUDE THAN
/#####\ || MEN AT WORK LYRICS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/#####\ ||
||| || P.S. DEEP SPACE NINE AND "THE THONG
||| || SONG" BOTH FUCKING SUCK
||| ||
||| gem ||
molom Ll
|
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#1674: STAR WARS MYSTIQUE
star wars
_ o88888o
_.-""8o_o88888888D
"'"""88888" _ o88888o
_.-""8o_o88888888D
"'"""88888"
_ o88888o
_.-""8o_o88888888D _ o88888o
"'"""88888" _.-""8o_o88888888D
"'"""88888"
_ o88888o
_.-""8o_o88888888D bonnnie
"'"""88888"
IN MY HONEST OPINION THE INTRODUCTION IN
PHANTOM MENACE OF THE FAUX-SCIENTIFIC
CONCEPT OF MIDICHLORIANS TO EXPLAIN THE
FORCE DID LITTLE MORE THAN DETRACT FROM
THE STAR WARS MYSTIQUE
|
|
#2040: A LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT
west wing
%%%%%% %%%%%%%%
%%%%% ,, %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
(< ?%%%%%%%%%%%
~ %
___ //___ THIS JUST IN: BARTLETT'S A BIG GIRL
/ |
'/ (* )( *) | ',
################## b'ger
""""""""""""""""""
|
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#2405: SEX SCENES
THERE ARE NO GOOD SEX
SCENES IN "THE PASSION"
_ xxxx _
/_;-.__ / _\ _.-;_\
`-._`'`_/'`.-'
`\ /`
| /
/-.(
\_._\
\ \`;
> |/
/ //
|//
jgs \(\
BUT THAT SURE DIDN'T
KEEP ME FROM GETTING OFF
|
|
#2770: BOSTON
_________
|MMMMMMMMM| _
________ |MMMMMMMMM| _|l|_
|!!!!!!!_|___|MMMMMMMMM| |lllll|
|!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM| |lllll|_______
|!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM| _|lllll|HHHHHHH|
|!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM| ________|lllllllll|HHHHH|
|!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM| |unununun|lllllllll|HHHHH|______
|!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM| |nunununu|lllllllll|HH|:::::::::|
|!!!!!!|=========|MMM__|..|un__unun|lllllllll|HH|:::::::::|
|!!!!!!|=======_=|M_( ')' );' .)unu|lllllllll|HH|:::::::::|
|!!!_!!|======( )|(. ` ,) (_ ', )un|lllllllll|HH|:::::::::| ~~~
|!!(.)!|===__(`.')_(_ ')_,)(. _)unu|lllllllll|HH|:__::::::|~~ ~~
|!(.`')|==( .)' .)MMM|M|| |un|nunun|lllllllll|``|( ,)_::::| ~~~~ ~
-(: _)|=(`. ')_)|---|- ' ``|`````|lll____ll| (_; `'):::|~~~ ~~~
| |==(_'_)|=| ______ ''/\ \' |(_'_)::::|\~~~~__|)__
| ''''|''o/`.-``~~~~~ ``-. /--\___\ ``|`````` /____\____/
jrei | h ( `; ~~~ ~~ ~ ) |M_|#_#| ' -- __________|~
-- * '-.._~~__~..-' -- -* - / ~~~~ ~~~~~~
* - - -- ---- --- _.-'~~~~~ ~ ~~
__--_________............-------------'''''''''''''''` ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~
~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~
~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~
IS BOSTON EVEN A REAL PLACE
|
|
#3135: ECTOPIC PREGNANCY
,
_cc,
'.())(((c
(((((()(c
'(((('_ _' I THINK I HAVE AN ECTOPIC PREGNANCY
`((( \
(`\ -
' ) ( __
_.-' ' `.
/ , -' \
L ` .
\ / ` |
`c ) c ) J
.\__. `---': |
\__ \, | L
/`\\\> L |
/ / J
L c ' /
\ / /\
\-.__.' .' .
|`-___.'
a:f : `8P /
: .' /
` / .'
/ .' OTHERWISE KNOWN AS A BIG SHIT I'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF
. .'
L ' COME ON LADIES
\` `
SUCK IT UP AND STOP COMPLAINING
|
|
#3501: SPANISH CIVIL WAR
-. . .-.
' / / ./
_ __, .--' / <
~_-~ / < < \_ .-~7
_. \ > \.-'\ >` ~ .-~
< >< / , 7 < ~7
/_/ ! \ .-L \ _// <'~
~ .-~ ! ! /o& `' . 7 IF WE LEARNED ANYTHING FROM THE
_>_._ > _.-' '-._.-._.--./ SPANISH CIVIL WAR IT'S THAT SPAIN
'-~ ~._/ IS BORING, WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT,
,-.-' TURN TO THE NEXT FUCKING PAGE
< IN THE HISTORY BOOK ALEADY
\
7 .. .
! _.-. .. < ~v~
.-~---' .-.-~ ~\ < \ /
) > o < > \ \_.--._
/ X .-' <> \ \ 7 . '
7 > . - ' > _\ ! _,-' `. PWH
~--,.--' ._ /.- ~` < \ . \
7/ ~ \.,< . ` `-~-.-~
__ . `
|
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#3866: GIANNA MICHAELS
gianna michaels, pornstar, word
/\.-./~\
(o//o)| \-._ .-"-. DEAR GIANNA MICHAELS,
.~.'~ | | )`-----' \._
(").'/.| | ( /-.\ I CAN PUT ASIDE YOUR RAT FACE BUT
(_/-' \_/ | \ | \\ PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH AS I DO NOT
\ / / ____.-\ / )) LIKE THE SOUND OF BARKING
/\| /_.-' \\ \ ((
// || \\ \ \| GARKING HOWEVER ?!??!?!?!?!?!
\\ ||' // \\
(/ || _// \\ APPROVED (STAMP)
" (_/ (_/ (_/MJP
" " "
|
|
#4231: KAYAKING
_/\.
/_ .^\
/ ^. \
_.'^ . ^'.
/_. / _\
--.`_~^ - .. /_/ ^ \`\_
~ ~_ -~_`^ -~ ~^ _~~^~ _ ~^~_~ ^ -/.'_ / | '. \ /\_
'--.. '---.. .". /`-/___^ ^ \ `\ .'^.\_
'-. ~. / | \ '.'. ^ `--^--'|##|'---`-' /_. \ _\
-.__ ~ '. '---. / I \ _ ___ .;;``\/. ' /_/ ^'.
_ ^~./ I \ ~^-, .;;;;`\;;, \// . /_, / _\
--.. _ ~ ^~ - / I \ - ~/;;;' `-----;._ .' \ '.
~- ^ ; ,;";, ;. |;;' _., /_.' ^. '_\
~ '-. '. ; /_|_|_\ ; : \;;' .-' \ . _/'^ . ^ \_
_ '-. '. '. | [_______] | ; |;' / | / _/ | '\ '.
'. ; : ; | (| ' ' |) | : /;;' _,=\__..--` /_/ ^.' ^ \ '._\
'. : ; | \_-_/ | \;,=" ___ ' . .' -/ | '. `\
: : ;: |.--"\=/"--.()))" ._ ,;;; `\ /`-/ -^.' ^\ ` -.`\
: ; : (_\ | _;=",./ |;;, |. \ .' --'-,^ .'-.---^-`
; : : ; / |_,="` |-; --. `;;,__/'._//.-' \\|###| / . '
: : _((()/ | \ | .~~._ `''-.. ' `// '
' __ _.=" ||\__/ \__/|| ^~ `\ ' . . '
.--'` \=" ||`;;;;;;;`||.--~~~^^^~-. .--^, `\ .' .
| / .-~~-.| \';;;;;'/ | .--~. -' ___ `\ |/.--
\ _.-'~^~' | `-===-' | ^~~. ,;;;;`\ ://, ' .
;' ,~~^. |^ , ~ - _ ~ .~~-. /::, `\~. `-. _.
~. `~ ^ -~^ - ^ ; _/;;, | : ~.
'-._ .__. ~.__ .-~~~--._ .-/;;, \ ^.
jgs '._ `=._ ^~._ .__, ;^~ _.-'
~~. .--~~-.__.^ ~. '.
I REGRET NOTHING (GLUG GLUG GLUG DROWNING)
|
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#4596: SAMMY THE SEAHORSE
%&%&.
/ _ \_
( c-(_)(_)__ SAMMY THE SEAHORSE WAS NEVER TOLD HE COULDN'T
\ .._ . ) WALK SO HE DID HIS OWN THING AND STROLLED AROUND
\ / `-' THE SEA FLOOR LOOKING ALL CLEVER AND SHIT
/\-|\_
C-.\_\( HOWEVER EVOLUTION DOES NOT REWARD BEING A PRICK
( Y o)( AND THUS NO SEAHORSE LADY (OR WHATEVER THEY'RE CALLED)
| | o)) WANTED TO MAKE SEX (OR WHATEVER THEY CALL IT)
c - __) WITH HIM SO HIS AMAZING ABILITY DIED WTIH HIM
/ \ \===|
| //===/ LET THIS BE A LESSON KIDS:
| /|===/ KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING
|/ |==/
}==)
(==|
|=/_..
(_.-.__) [nabis]
|
|
#4962: FOR GOOD OR ILL
______
,'" "-._ I'M USING THIS RADIO TELESCOPE
,' "-._ _._ TO TRANSMIT LOW-RESOLUTION PICTURES
; __,-'/ | OF MY DICK TO 55 CANCRI
;| ,-' _,'"'._,.
|: _,' |\ `.
: \ _,-' | \ `.
\ \ ,-' | \ \
\ '. .-. | \
\ \ " | :
`. `. | |
`. "-._ | ;
/ |`._ `-._ L /
/ | \ `._ "-.___ _,'
/ | \_.-"-.___ """"
\ : /"""
`._\_ __.'_
__,--''_ ' "--'''' \_ `-._
__,--' .' /_ | __. `-._ `-._
< `. `-.-'' __,-' _,-'
`. `. _,-'" _,-'
`. ''"lka _,-'
`. _,-' SO IF WE GET INVADED BY ANGRY ALIENS
`. _,-' IN ABOUT 80 YEARS OH WELL DEAL WITH IT
`. __,'" I DON'T GIVE A SHIT
`'"
|
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|
__
.-'||'-. OKAY SO WHEN OBSERVING THIS SUPPORT FOR THE
.' || '. FIRST TIME, I BELIEVE THE GOAL IN FOOTBALL
/ __||__ \ IS TO ACCUMULATE AS MANY FLAGS AS POSSIBLE
| /`- -`\ |
| | 6 6 | | THEREFORE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE SCORING SYSTEM
\/\____7___/\/
.--------:\:I:II:I:/;--------.
/ \`:I::I:`/ \
| `------' |
| \____/ |
| , __ ___ , |
|======| / | / _ \ |======|
|======| ^| | | | | | |======|
|~~~~~| | | | |_| | |~~~~~|
| |\ [___] \___/ /| |
\ \| |/ /
`\ \ _ _.-=""=-._ _ / /'
`\ '`_)\\-++++-//(_`' /'
jgs ; (__|| ||__) ;
; ___\ /___ ;
'. ---/-=..=-\--- .'
`""` `""`
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