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#213: LET ME GET A MAN

Sun, 2000 Jan 23

        ,,,,,     PLEASE GOD LET ME GET A MAN             
       ////""\               .                            
      (((/ m m              -|-                        __ 
      )))c  = )              |                        (__)
     ////-./~`    .                                    [] 
    (((( `.`\    :: SO I CAN STOP DRAWING              [] 
     )))`\ \)).-;.'    THESE ASCII ARTS       .------, [] 
      (() `._.-'`                           _(        )[] 
      )/ `. |  .'`^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^))\`.----'`[] 
jgs   (    \' { ~ - ~~ _  ~  -  ~~  - ~  - ((  | |     [] 
  .-.--\    \ {                             )) | |     [] 
  |_;_._`\   |{                            ((__|_|-----[] 
 |  ;   ```  ;{                             ))         [] 
 | /``-.____/ `~~~[]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'-'         [] 
 `'              (__)                                 (__)

#579: UPPITY QUEEN

Tue, 2001 Jan 23

                    .            
                  .   .          
                 /  .  \         
 IT IS          /       /        
SERIOUSLY      /.     ./  /\     
HARD TO GET   |. .   ./__/. |    
INTO THAT      \. .       ./     
UPPITY QUEEN'S  \.   .   ./      
 PANTS           \.   . ./       
                  \. . ./        
                  ========       
                ------------     
                                 
               ==============    
BUT THE KING     \        /      
AND I GET GAY     |      |       
 EVERY TUESDAY    |      |       
                  |      |       
                  ;      `       
                 /        \      
                /          \     
               /            \    
               `      .      '   
               \=============/   
             ------------------- 
            =====================

#944: PLONK

Wed, 2002 Jan 23

figlet, plonk, usenet

 ____    _                   _      _   _   _ 
|  _ \  | |   ___    _ __   | | __ | | | | | |
| |_) | | |  / _ \  | '_ \  | |/ / | | | | | |
|  __/  | | | (_) | | | | | |   <  |_| |_| |_|
|_|     |_|  \___/  |_| |_| |_|\_\ (_) (_) (_)
                                              
  I'M NEW TO USENET !!!!!!!!!!! BUT I'VE SEEN 
  OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT SO I'M GOING TO REPEAT  
  IT LIKE A USELESS TURD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  I PRESUME IT MEANS SOMETHING LIKE "WELL     
  PLAYED" BUT I'M NOT SURE                    

#1309: A TRIBUTE TO SISKO

Thu, 2003 Jan 23

   www                                                      
  /n n\        /\    I COME FROM THE LAND DOWN UNDER        
  |/^\|       /  \   WHERE WOMEN GLOW AND MEN PLUNDER       
  | , |       ^||^                                          
   \_/         ||    CAN YOU HEAR CAN YOU HEAR THAT THUNDER 
   _U_         ||    YOU BETTER RUN YOU BETTER TAKE COVER   
 /`   `''-----'P3                                           
/ |. .|''-----"||                                           
\'|   |        ||    THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS I'M SUCH AN ORIGINAL
 \|   |        ||    AUSSIE FUCKWAD I COULDN'T EVEN COME UP 
  E   |        ||    WITH ANYTHING BETTER TO INCLUDE THAN   
 /#####\       ||    MEN AT WORK LYRICS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
 /#####\       ||                                           
   |||         ||    P.S. DEEP SPACE NINE AND "THE THONG    
   |||         ||    SONG" BOTH FUCKING SUCK                
   |||         ||                                           
   ||| gem     ||                                           
  molom        Ll                                           

#1674: STAR WARS MYSTIQUE

Fri, 2004 Jan 23

star wars

      _     o88888o                            
  _.-""8o_o88888888D                           
        "'"""88888"         _     o88888o      
                        _.-""8o_o88888888D     
                              "'"""88888"      
             _     o88888o                     
         _.-""8o_o88888888D     _     o88888o  
               "'"""88888"   _.-""8o_o88888888D
                                   "'"""88888" 
    _     o88888o                              
_.-""8o_o88888888D    bonnnie                  
      "'"""88888"                              
                                               
  IN MY HONEST OPINION THE INTRODUCTION IN     
  PHANTOM MENACE OF THE FAUX-SCIENTIFIC        
  CONCEPT OF MIDICHLORIANS TO EXPLAIN THE      
  FORCE DID LITTLE MORE THAN DETRACT FROM      
  THE STAR WARS MYSTIQUE                       

#2040: A LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT

Sun, 2005 Jan 23

west wing

   %%%%%% %%%%%%%%                                           
  %%%%% ,, %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%                                  
       (<  ?%%%%%%%%%%%                                      
        ~  %                                                 
    ___ //___             THIS JUST IN: BARTLETT'S A BIG GIRL
   /         |                                               
 '/ (* )( *) | ',                                            
################## b'ger                                     
""""""""""""""""""                                           

#2405: SEX SCENES

Mon, 2006 Jan 23

  THERE ARE NO GOOD SEX 
 SCENES IN "THE PASSION"
                        
   _      xxxx      _   
  /_;-.__ / _\  _.-;_\  
     `-._`'`_/'`.-'     
         `\   /`        
          |  /          
         /-.(           
         \_._\          
          \ \`;         
           > |/         
          / //          
          |//           
   jgs    \(\           
                        
                        
  BUT THAT SURE DIDN'T  
KEEP ME FROM GETTING OFF

#2770: BOSTON

Tue, 2007 Jan 23

               _________                                                
              |MMMMMMMMM|                _                              
  ________    |MMMMMMMMM|              _|l|_                            
 |!!!!!!!_|___|MMMMMMMMM|             |lllll|                           
 |!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM|             |lllll|_______                    
 |!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM|            _|lllll|HHHHHHH|                   
 |!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM|   ________|lllllllll|HHHHH|                   
 |!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM|  |unununun|lllllllll|HHHHH|______             
 |!!!!!!|=========|MMMMM|  |nunununu|lllllllll|HH|:::::::::|            
 |!!!!!!|=========|MMM__|..|un__unun|lllllllll|HH|:::::::::|            
 |!!!!!!|=======_=|M_( ')' );' .)unu|lllllllll|HH|:::::::::|            
 |!!!_!!|======( )|(. ` ,) (_ ', )un|lllllllll|HH|:::::::::| ~~~        
 |!!(.)!|===__(`.')_(_ ')_,)(. _)unu|lllllllll|HH|:__::::::|~~  ~~      
 |!(.`')|==( .)' .)MMM|M|| |un|nunun|lllllllll|``|( ,)_::::| ~~~~ ~     
  -(: _)|=(`. ')_)|---|- '  ``|`````|lll____ll|  (_; `'):::|~~~  ~~~    
     |  |==(_'_)|=|    ______        ''/\   \'   |(_'_)::::|\~~~~__|)__ 
     |   ''''|''o/`.-``~~~~~ ``-.     /--\___\    ``|`````` /____\____/ 
 jrei        |  h ( `; ~~~ ~~  ~ )    |M_|#_#|      ' --   __________|~ 
       --   *      '-.._~~__~..-'   --           -* -     /  ~~~~ ~~~~~~
 *   -   -      --           ----         ---         _.-'~~~~~     ~ ~~
__--_________............-------------'''''''''''''''` ~~~~~    ~~~ ~~~~
~~    ~~~~~~~~     ~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~      ~~~~~~~     ~~~
~~~~~~~~~  ~~~~  ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~      ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~     ~~~~    ~~~~
~~~~~~~~     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~        ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~  ~~~ ~~~~~~  ~~~
                                                                        
                      IS BOSTON EVEN A REAL PLACE                       

#3135: ECTOPIC PREGNANCY

Wed, 2008 Jan 23

        ,                                                             
      _cc,                                                            
     '.())(((c                                                        
      (((((()(c                                                       
     '(((('_ _'     I THINK I HAVE AN ECTOPIC PREGNANCY               
     `(((    \                                                        
      (`\   -                                                         
      '  )  ( __                                                      
     _.-'    '  `.                                                    
    /    ,   -'   \                                                   
    L     `        .                                                  
    \ /       `    |                                                  
    `c   )  c  )   J                                                  
    .\__. `---':   |                                                  
    \__  \,    |   L                                                  
     /`\\\>    L  |                                                   
    /         /  J                                                    
    L c      '  /                                                     
    \       /  /\                                                     
     \-.__.' .'  .                                                    
     |`-___.'                                                         
a:f  :  `8P      /                                                    
     :  .'      /                                                     
     ` /      .'                                                      
      /     .'     OTHERWISE KNOWN AS A BIG SHIT I'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF
     .    .'                                                          
     L   '         COME ON LADIES                                     
     \`  `                                                            
                   SUCK IT UP AND STOP COMPLAINING                    

#3501: SPANISH CIVIL WAR

Fri, 2009 Jan 23

         -.            .      .-.                                     
              '       /      / ./                                     
       _  __,     .--'      / <                                       
      ~_-~ /     <         <   \_ .-~7                                
    _. \   >      \.-'\     >`   ~ .-~                                
   <  ><  /         ,  7   <      ~7                                  
   /_/  ! \       .-L  \  _//   <'~                                   
   ~  .-~  !      ! /o& `' .     7   IF WE LEARNED ANYTHING FROM THE  
      _>_._ >  _.-' '-._.-._.--./    SPANISH CIVIL WAR IT'S THAT SPAIN
     '-~   ~._/                      IS BORING, WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT, 
       ,-.-'                         TURN TO THE NEXT FUCKING PAGE    
      <                              IN THE HISTORY BOOK ALEADY       
       \                                                              
        7                                ..   .                       
        !       _.-.     ..             <  ~v~                        
 .-~---'   .-.-~    ~\  <  \            /                             
 )         >      o  <   >  \           \_.--._                       
/   X   .-'      <>   \  \   7       .  '                             
7       > . - '        > _\  !   _,-' `.  PWH                         
~--,.--'           ._ /.- ~` <   \ .   \                              
                   7/ ~       \.,< .  ` `-~-.-~                       
                                 __  . `                              

#3866: GIANNA MICHAELS

Sat, 2010 Jan 23

gianna michaels, pornstar, word

  /\.-./~\                                                              
 (o//o)|  \-._         .-"-.         DEAR GIANNA MICHAELS,              
 .~.'~ |  |    )`-----'     \._                                         
(").'/.|  |          (      /-.\       I CAN PUT ASIDE YOUR RAT FACE BUT
 (_/-' \_/    |       \    |   \\      PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH AS I DO NOT  
        \ /  /   ____.-\  /     ))     LIKE THE SOUND OF BARKING        
        /\| /_.-'      \\ \    ((                                       
       // ||            \\ \    \|   GARKING HOWEVER ?!??!?!?!?!?!      
       \\ ||'           // \\                                           
       (/ ||          _//   \\         APPROVED (STAMP)                 
       " (_/         (_/   (_/MJP                                       
         "           "     "                                            

#4231: KAYAKING

Sun, 2011 Jan 23

                                            _/\.                       
                                           /_ .^\                      
                                           / ^. \                      
                                         _.'^ . ^'.                    
                                        /_.  /    _\                   
--.`_~^ - ..                             /_/  ^ \`\_                   
   ~   ~_ -~_`^ -~ ~^ _~~^~ _ ~^~_~ ^ -/.'_ /  | '. \     /\_          
 '--..         '---..    .".           /`-/___^   ^  \ `\  .'^.\_      
         '-.       ~. / | \  '.'.  ^ `--^--'|##|'---`-' /_. \ _\       
-.__ ~ '.  '---.     /  I  \       _  ___ .;;``\/.   '   /_/ ^'.       
       _         ^~./   I   \ ~^-,  .;;;;`\;;,  \// .  /_, /   _\      
--..     _  ~ ^~ - /    I    \  - ~/;;;'   `-----;._   .'    \ '.      
       ~-  ^      ;   ,;";,   ;.  |;;'        _.,     /_.' ^.  '_\     
~   '-.       '.  ;  /_|_|_\  ; : \;;'     .-'   \ .   _/'^ . ^ \_     
_ '-.     '. '.   | [_______] | ; |;'     /       |   / _/ |  '\  '.   
       '.   ; : ; | (| ' ' |) | : /;;' _,=\__..--`  /_/ ^.' ^ \  '._\  
  '.     :    ;   |   \_-_/   |   \;,="  ___   '  .  .'  -/ |  '. `\   
     :     :  ;:  |.--"\=/"--.()))" ._ ,;;; `\     /`-/ -^.' ^\ ` -.`\ 
     :   ;    :   (_\   | _;=",./     |;;,    |. \ .' --'-,^ .'-.---^-`
 ;   :     :    ; / |_,="`  |-;  --.   `;;,__/'._//.-'  \\|###| / .  ' 
   :    :      _((()/   |   \ |    .~~._        `''-.. '      `// '    
 '    __   _.="   ||\__/ \__/||             ^~        `\  ' .     . '  
 .--'`  \="       ||`;;;;;;;`||.--~~~^^^~-.       .--^, `\     .'  .   
|       /   .-~~-.| \';;;;;'/ |   .--~.     -'  ___       `\ |/.--     
 \  _.-'~^~'      |  `-===-'  |        ^~~.   ,;;;;`\       ://,  '   .
  ;'        ,~~^. |^ ,  ~ - _ ~   .~~-.      /::,    `\~.    `-. _.    
         ~.      `~ ^ -~^ - ^ ;            _/;;,       | :  ~.         
   '-._      .__. ~.__      .-~~~--._   .-/;;,         \      ^.       
    jgs '._                            `=._ ^~._  .__, ;^~  _.-'       
              ~~.      .--~~-.__.^           ~.   '.                   
                                                                       
   I REGRET NOTHING (GLUG GLUG GLUG DROWNING)                          

#4596: SAMMY THE SEAHORSE

Mon, 2012 Jan 23

   %&%&.                                                                
  /   _ \_                                                              
 ( c-(_)(_)__     SAMMY THE SEAHORSE WAS NEVER TOLD HE COULDN'T         
  \    .._ . )    WALK SO HE DID HIS OWN THING AND STROLLED AROUND      
   \  /   `-'     THE SEA FLOOR LOOKING ALL CLEVER AND SHIT             
   /\-|\_                                                               
  C-.\_\(         HOWEVER EVOLUTION DOES NOT REWARD BEING A PRICK       
 (  Y o)(         AND THUS NO SEAHORSE LADY (OR WHATEVER THEY'RE CALLED)
  | |  o))        WANTED TO MAKE SEX (OR WHATEVER THEY CALL IT)         
  c -  __)        WITH HIM SO HIS AMAZING ABILITY DIED WTIH HIM         
 / \ \===|                                                              
|  //===/         LET THIS BE A LESSON KIDS:                            
| /|===/          KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING 
|/ |==/                                                                 
   }==)                                                                 
  (==|                                                                  
   |=/_..                                                               
  (_.-.__) [nabis]                                                      

#4962: FOR GOOD OR ILL

Wed, 2013 Jan 23

             ______                                                      
          ,'"       "-._           I'M USING THIS RADIO TELESCOPE        
        ,'              "-._ _._   TO TRANSMIT LOW-RESOLUTION PICTURES   
        ;              __,-'/   |  OF MY DICK TO 55 CANCRI               
       ;|           ,-' _,'"'._,.                                        
       |:            _,'      |\ `.                                      
       : \       _,-'         | \  `.                                    
        \ \   ,-'             |  \   \                                   
         \ '.         .-.     |       \                                  
          \  \         "      |        :                                 
           `. `.              |        |                                 
             `. "-._          |        ;                                 
             / |`._ `-._      L       /                                  
            /  | \ `._   "-.___    _,'                                   
           /   |  \_.-"-.___   """"                                      
           \   :            /"""                                         
            `._\_       __.'_                                            
       __,--''_ ' "--'''' \_  `-._                                       
 __,--'     .' /_  |   __. `-._   `-._                                   
<            `.  `-.-''  __,-'     _,-'                                  
 `.            `.   _,-'"      _,-'                                      
   `.            ''"lka    _,-'                                          
     `.                _,-'        SO IF WE GET INVADED BY ANGRY ALIENS  
       `.          _,-'            IN ABOUT 80 YEARS OH WELL DEAL WITH IT
         `.   __,'"                I DON'T GIVE A SHIT                   
           `'"                                                           

#5327: FLAGS

Thu, 2014 Jan 23

                __                                                        
             .-'||'-.       OKAY SO WHEN OBSERVING THIS SUPPORT FOR THE   
           .'   ||   '.      FIRST TIME, I BELIEVE THE GOAL IN FOOTBALL   
          /   __||__   \      IS TO ACCUMULATE AS MANY FLAGS AS POSSIBLE  
          | /`-    -`\ |                                                  
          | | 6    6 | |  THEREFORE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE SCORING SYSTEM
          \/\____7___/\/                                                  
  .--------:\:I:II:I:/;--------.                                          
 /          \`:I::I:`/          \                                         
|            `------'            |                                        
|             \____/             |                                        
|      ,    __     ___    ,      |                                        
|======|   /  |   / _ \   |======|                                        
|======|   ^| |  | | | |  |======|                                        
|~~~~~|     | |  | |_| |   |~~~~~|                                        
|     |\   [___]  \___/   /|     |                                        
 \    \|                  |/    /                                         
 `\    \  _ _.-=""=-._ _  /    /'                                         
   `\   '`_)\\-++++-//(_`'   /'                                           
jgs  ;   (__||      ||__)   ;                                             
      ;   ___\      /___   ;                                              
       '. ---/-=..=-\--- .'                                               
         `""`        `""`                                                 

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TOYS
FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Tue, 2020 Jul 14)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe