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#192: DARWIN

Sun, 2000 Jan 2

THINK ABOUT IT -- HOW COULD I POSSIBLY
SURVIVE WITHOUT A MOUTH ??? CLEARLY I 
AM NOT AS EVOLVED AS YOU MIGHT THINK  
                                      
JESUS SAVES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MOSES LICKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                      
                 _....._              
               .'       `'-.  .'      
              ( D A R W I N ><        
               '._     _,.-'  '.      
        jgs       `J`J`               

#558: THESE PANTIES

Tue, 2001 Jan 2

             __                  __                         
            ( _)                ( _)                        
           / / \\              / /\_\_     THESE PANTIES    
          / /   \\            / / | \ \     ARE REALLY      
         / /     \\          / /  |\ \ \     RIDING UP ON ME
        /  /   ,  \ ,       / /   /|  \ \                   
       /  /    |\_ /|      / /   / \   \_\                  
      /  /  |\/ _ '_| \   / /   /   \    \\                 
     |  /   |/  0 \0\    / |    |    \    \\                
     |    |\|      \_\_ /  /    |     \    \\               
     |  | |/    \.\ o\o)  /      \     |    \\              
     \    |     /\\`v-v  /        |    |     \\             
      | \/    /_| \\_|  /         |    | \    \\            
      | |    /__/_     /   _____  |    |  \    \\           
      \|    [__]  \_/  |_________  \   |   \    ()          
       /    [___] (    \         \  |\ |   |   //           
      |    [___]                  |\| \|   /  |/            
     /|    [____]                  \  |/\ / / ||            
snd (  \   [____ /     ) _\      \  \    \| | ||            
     \  \  [_____|    / /     __/    \   / / //             
     |   \ [_____/   / /        \    |   \/ //              
     |   /  '----|   /=\____   _/    |   / //               
  __ /  /        |  /   ___/  _/\    \  | ||                
 (/-(/-\)       /   \  (/\/\)/  |    /  | /                 
               (/\/\)           /   /   //                  
                      _________/   /    /                   
                     \____________/    (                    
                                                            

#923: THIS BONG

Wed, 2002 Jan 2

     THIS NEW BONG DOESN'T WORK                                
   FOR SHIT SO ... SMASHY SMASHY                               
              _                      SOMEONE NEEDS AN ANGER    
             | |       \               MANAGEMENT COURSE       
             | |===( )   //////                                
             |_|   |||  | o o|                     /           
                    ||| ( c  )                  ____           
                     ||| \= /                  ||   \_         
                      ||||||                   ||     |        
                      ||||||                ...||__/|-"        
                      ||||||             __|________|__        
                        |||             |______________|       
                        |||             || ||      || ||       
                        |||             || ||      || ||       
------------------------|||-------------||-||------||-||-------
 MS                     |__>            || ||      || ||       

#1288: HOBBIT

Thu, 2003 Jan 2

lord of the rings

                       /\                                           
        _/\           /  \                                          
    _  /   \         /    \/\   AS THE SAGA UNFOLDED, FRODO CAME TO 
   / \/   _ \     /\/\  _  _/\   TO BE KNOWN AS THE CRUISIEST HOBBIT
  /   \_ / \/\_/\/_/  \/ \/   \   EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MIDDLE     
 /\/\   \_   /   \/            \   EARTH                            
/    \___/\ /     \             \                                   
           \       \             \   (THE PRIOR HOLDER OF THE TITLE 
           .-"---.  \             \   WAS OF COURSE PIPPIN)         
__..---.. /       \  \             \                                
         /\___.-'./\''--..____..--''                                
`-.      \/ O) (O \/ ''--.._                                        
    __    |  (_)  |         _.-'-._                                 
   / /  __/\\___//\__ ..--''-._                                     
   | (_/\ \/`---'\/ /\         `-._                                 
_.-\ \/  \  \   /  /  \.-'-._                                       
   /\|   /  -| |-  \   \     `-._                                   
  | ||  /\  -| |-  /\   \        `-.                                
   \/|_/ |  -|_\-  |/   /                                           
   \ \   /  /B_B\  \\  /                                            
   / (   \_/  _  \_/ \/                                             
.__\ \   /    |    \_/                                              
   ) /''-| __ | __ |                                                
   |(    \    |    /---...___                                       
   /|    /____|____\         '-._                                   
   ||     |   ||   |                                                
   \\     ///\\//\\\                                                
jro \|   oOO(_)(_)OOo                                               

#1653: HERRING STALL

Fri, 2004 Jan 2

         _.---._    /\\                                    
      ./'       "--`\//    YOU HAVEN'T LIVED UNTIL YOU'VE  
    ./              o \    SUCKED A COCK IN A HERRING STALL
  ././\  )______   \__ \                                   
 /./  / /\ \   | \ \  \ \   YOU HEARD ME                   
./   / /  \ \  | |\ \  \7                                  
      "     "    "  "      FUCKING LOOK IT UP              

#2019: RAPE FINALLY

Sun, 2005 Jan 2

annie ascii, newsgroup

                                      _____        
                                    (((   `\       
MAYBE IF SOMEONE JUST UP            _ _`\   )      
AND RAPED ME I'D FINALLY            (^  )   )      
SHUT MY FUCKING BON-BON              ~-(     )     
GUZZLING WORD HOLE                   _'((,,,)))    
                                  ,-' \_/    `\    
HEHE !!!!                        (          ,  |   
                                  `-.-'`-.-'/|_|   
                                     \     / | |   
                                      =()=: / ,' aa

#2384: THIS ONE'S PURPLE

Mon, 2006 Jan 2

        _-~~~~-            PRIVATE WHAT DID YOU BRING ME            
       -   @  @                                                     
      '         \          NO YOU IDIOT THIS ONE'S PURPLE           
      |\      .. |                                                  
\     ' `. '\___/` .`.     THE MONSTER WE'RE HUNTING IS             
|\_  /    `-____--//       GREEN (OR GREY DEPENDING ON WHICH        
 \ \/    .\\     \/        WITNESS STATEMENT YOU BELIEVE)           
  \    .'  \\     |                                                 
   `.   \  /'     |        GET THIS BLOB OUT OF HERE I DON'T KNOW UH
     \   |       .'                                                 
     _|  /`-__-'/          JUST SHIP THE PURPLE DINOSAUR OFF TO     
    |   \     ) )__        CAMP X-RAY AND GET ME GENERAL ROSS ON    
     \__/     |___/        THE HORN                                 

#2749: THE KNEE BONE CONNECTS TO THE SHIN BONE

Tue, 2007 Jan 2

               _____                                        
              /   _)))                                      
             /   / 6 6                                      
            (   (    \    THERE'S THIS GIRL ON THE TRAIN    
            /  ,' __=    I WOULD LIKE TO EXPERIMENT ON      
           / _ ) /_  )    (YOU KNOW LIKE TO OPEN HER UP     
          ( /\__~__|(    AND SEE WHAT MAKES HER BROKEN)     
           /\/__)__) )                                      
          ( /\    (_                                        
           \| \__'/ \    WHOA TURNS OUT THE KNEE BONE REALLY
           :o /      \    IS CONNECTED TO THE SHIN BONE     
            /\    _/  )                                     
            \/        |                                     
             |        |                                     
             |        |                                     
             )        |                                     
            /|        )                                     
           / |________|                                     
           | /      \ |                                     
           |/    ____\!_______                              
           /          )\                                    
          /(         '-.\_  ..                              
b'ger    /,/ .. .                                           

#3114: HAMMER MISSILE

Wed, 2008 Jan 2

quake

T                                    \`.    T                     
|    T     .--------------.___________) \   |    T                
!    |     |//////////////|___________[ ]   !  T |                
     !     `--------------'           ) (      | !                
                                  mn  '-'      !                  
                                                                  
  IF I HAD A HAMMER                                               
                                                                  
    I'D DROP IT ON THE STROGG (HAMMER MISSILE DEPLOYABLE, YOU SEE)

#3480: DEAR BAILOUT BEGGARS

Fri, 2009 Jan 2

bailout, topical

            $$ $                                                 
             \O/$                                                
            $ |                                                  
             /_\          DEAR BAILOUT BEGGARS:                  
           _|___|_                                               
         _|___|___|_       THANKS FOR MAKING IT THAT MUCH HARDER 
       _|___|___|___|_      FOR THE REST OF US TO ARGUE THAT     
     _|___|___|___|___|_     CAPITALISM ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, WORKS
   _|___|___|___|___|___|_                                       
 _|___|___|___|___|___|___|_                                     
|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|                                    
 \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/                                     
  |   |   |   |   |   |   |                                      
 / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \                                     
hjm                                                              

#3845: MATURE VIP SINGLES

Sat, 2010 Jan 2

facebook

                                                                
                        `/\                                     
                    ____/ /   OKAY FACEBOOK THE MORE YOU SHOW ME
     _             / ___ \     ADS FOR "MATURE VIP SINGLES"     
     \\_!_________(_/_/ \ \     THE MORE DEPRESSED I GET        
     <#|=====|______ / /__/                                     
    / C|=====|---' \__/                                         
   /   |-|-|~                                                   
  /    /---'                                                    
 /    /                                                         
|_____|     jiri                                                
                                                                
                                                                

#4210: HALLUCIGENIA

Sun, 2011 Jan 2

   \         /                             
    \\      /  /         I'M A THING       
     \\\   /  /  /                         
    .-\\\\/  /  /  /       DON'T TRY TO ASK
   /  `-\\\\Y  /  /  /                     
  //`>  `-\\\\Y  /  /  /     JUST ACCEPT IT
 // //`>  `-\\\\Y  /  /  /                 
 ( // //`>  `-\\\`Y  /  /                  
   ) // //`>  `-\\ `Y  /                   
     ) // //`>  `-\  `Y                    
sk     ) // //`>  `-   `.                  
         ) // //`>.      \                 
           ) // / /`;.    |                
             )   ' /  `""'                 

#4575: SODOMY BLU-RAY

Mon, 2012 Jan 2

             MY GRANDPA'S SODOMY BLU-RAY DISC            
                IS NOT A FRIEND OF FREEDOM               
                                                         
                                                         
                      :+""  ~<<::""+:                    
                 +Xi<<<<!<  `<<!?!<<<HMti%L              
            :?HMMMM:<<<!<~ <<<!X<<<!MM$$MMh?x            
          !HMRMMRMMM:<<<!< <<<!!<<<MR$$MRMMRMH?.         
        ?NMMMMMMMMMMM<<<?<  <<!!<<XM$$RMMMMMMMMM?        
      !$$$$$MMMMMMRMMk<<!!  <<H!<<M$$MRMMRMMMRMMRM!      
     <M$$$$$$8MMMMMMMM:<<!  <<H<<48$RMMMMMMMMMMMMMM>:    
   xHMRMMR$$$$$8RMMMMMM<<!< <!!<<9$$RMMMRMMRMMMMM?!<<%   
  :XMMMMMMMM$$$$$MMMMMMH<<~ ~~~<X$RMMMMMMMMMMM!!<~    k  
  <<<!MMRMMRMMR$$$$MMP.n~       #R.#MMRMMRM?<~~   .nMMh. 
 !MMH:<<<!*MMMMMMM$Pu! n"       "+ "h!MM!!~   :@MMMMMMM/ 
.HMRMMRMMMH:<<"*RM M @             * "   .nMMMMMMMRMMRMMk
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMx < "      .u.        4'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM9
!RMMRMMMRMMRMMMMMX M     @P   #$     4 MMRMMMRMMRMMMMMMR<
!MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM !    '$     $!    ' MtMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
kMMRMMRMMRMMMRMMR4 H     #$.  @$     H MMMMRMMMMMMRMMRMM!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM>M         "`      .~i <!?MMMMMMMMMMMMM9
'9MMRMMMRMMRMMP!   : %             H @ $NRMHx<<<!!MMMMMR!
 >MMMMMMMMM"   <<HMk!i *u       .* x*xR$$$$8MMMMHi<<<<~< 
  !RMM#~   :<:MMRMMMMH.*n:      :*.HRMMMRM$$$$$$8MRMMM!  
  !     <<:tMMMMMMMMMM$RM<::: :<<XMMMMMMMMMR$$$$$$$8MM!  
   ~ <<<XHMRMMMMMMRMM$RM<<<<< `!<<MRMMRMMRMMMRR$$$$$$#   
     :HMMMMMMMMMMMM9$$MM<<X!<~'~<<<MMMMMMMMMMMMMR$$#!    
      ~MMRMMMRMMRMM$$MM<<<?<<  <<<<!RMMMRMMRMMMMMM!      
        xMMMMMMMM9$$MM%<<<?<<: <!<<<?MMMMMMMMMMMX        
          !?MMMM@$$MMR<<<<!<<<  <:<<<MRMMRMMMP!          
            "X*9$$RMM!<<<?!<<~  <!<<<<MMMMM?"    BA      
                !X*MM<<<<H!<<`  <?<<<<<)!                
                     "+:uX!<<< .::+""                    

#4941: TONGUE PIERCING

Wed, 2013 Jan 2

cosby show

      ,-~***~-._.-~***~-.                                                    
     /                   \                                                   
    / .--~~~--..--~~~--.  \                                                  
  ,' /._,/\._,/\._,/\._,\  `.                                                
 ~-. \.-~      .-~      // ,-~                                               
    \/  ,*    /     ,* // /                                                  
    / ,**'   /     ,*'// /                                                   
   /,***'   /    ,**'// /                                                    
  /,***'   /    ,**'// /   WHO LET MALCOLM JAMAL-WARNER GET A TONGUE PIERCING
 / ***'   /   ,***'// /                                                      
:  ~**   `   ,***'/.-~   WHERE WAS DR. HUXTABLE                              
|            **' /                                                           
 \             .'                                                            
  ~-..     ..-~                                                              
      ~~~~~                                                                  

#5306: SMURF THEME

Thu, 2014 Jan 2

al qaeda, smurfs

                             _,,aaaaa,,_                              
                          _,dP"''    `""""Ya,_                        
                       ,aP"'                `"Yb,_                    
                     ,8"'                       `"8a,                 
                   ,8"                             `"8,_              
                 ,8"                                  "Yb,            
               ,8"                                      `8,           
              dP'                                        8I           
            ,8"                           bg,_          ,P'           
           ,8'                              "Y8"Ya,,,,ad"             
          ,d"                            a,_ I8   `"""'               
         ,8'                              ""888                       
         dP     __                           `Yb,                     
        dP'  _,d8P::::Y8b,                     `Ya                    
   ,adba8',d88P::;;::;;;:"b:::Ya,_               Ya                   
  dP":::"Y88P:;P"""YP"""Yb;::::::"Ya,             "Y,                 
  8:::::::Yb;d" _  "_    dI:::::::::"Yb,__,,gd88ba,db                 
  Yb:::::::"8(,8P _d8   d8:::::::::::::Y88P"::::::Y8I                 
  `Yb;:::::::""::"":b,,dP::::::::::::::::::;aaa;:::8(                 
    `Y8a;:::::::::::::::::::::;;::::::::::8P""Y8)::8I                 
      8b"ba::::::::::::::::;adP:::::::::::":::dP::;8'                 
      `8b;::::::::::::;aad888P::::::::::::::;dP::;8'                  
       `8b;::::::::""""88"  d::::::::::b;:::::;;dP'                   
         "Yb;::::::::::Y8bad::::::::::;"8Paaa""'                      
           `"Y8a;;;:::::::::::::;;aadP""                              
               ``""Y88bbbdddd88P""8b,                                 
                        _,d8"::::::"8b,    LA LAAA LA LA LA LA /      
                      ,dP8"::::::;;:::"b,   LA LA LA AL QAEDA         
                    ,dP"8:::::::Yb;::::"b,                            
                  ,8P:dP:::::::::Yb;::::"b,   LA LAAA LA LA LA LA /   
               _,dP:;8":::::::::::Yb;::::"b    WE LOVE DEATH MORE THAN
     ,aaaaaa,,d8P:::8":::::::::::;dP:::::;8     YOU LOVE LIFE         
  ,ad":;;:::::"::::8"::::::::::;dP::::::;dI                           
 dP";adP":::::;:;dP;::::aaaad88"::::::adP:8b,___                      
d8:::8;;;aadP"::8'Y8:d8P"::::::::::;dP";d"'`Yb:"b                     
8I:::;""":::::;dP I8P"::::::::::;a8"a8P"     "b:P                     
Yb::::"8baa8"""'  8;:;d"::::::::d8P"'         8"                      
 "YbaaP::8;P      `8;d::;a::;;;;dP           ,8                       
    `"Y8P"'         Yb;;d::;aadP"           ,d'                       
                     "YP:::"P'             ,d'                        
                       "8bdP'    _        ,8'                         
                      ,8"`""Yba,d"      ,d"                           
                     ,P'     d"8'     ,d"                             
                    ,8'     d'8'     ,P'                              
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TOYS
FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Tue, 2020 Jul 14)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe