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#231: FAG ME UP

Thu, 2000 Feb 10

anime

             ____                  
     _.---~~~    ~~--.             
   /'                 \            
 ,'                    |           
,'                     |           
|           /|,|-/.    ;           
`.    __/-\' / 'T')  ,'            
 '7 ,-( _[/   _(/|,-'              
 (  \_|;       ' |                 
  `\-\|-._  ~~~ ,'   FAG ME UP GOOD
      |   ~----'                   
    _,|      __L--.                
    \`----~~~.-~~~                 

#597: TEN COMMANDMENTS

Sat, 2001 Feb 10

matrix

       -------The ASCII ART FART Ten Commandments.---------      
                                                                 
           \\\\`///                                              
           /  _  _|                  1/ NO COCKSUCKING ON DUTY   
          (\'('\/')                  2/ WHEN IT HURTS YOU YOU'VE 
    ______/(    >(__                    BOUGHT IT                
   /`-    \ \_=__| `\                3/ ARTISTS FORMERLY KNOWN AS
  /       /__(  _____\  _____           PRINCESS MUST OFFER FREE 
 /_ \.____    ,"     "."     ",__       BLOWJOBS                 
|    /   _\__/_       -       /  \   4/ IF ANYONE CALLS YOU BETTY
\/      /____  \ASCII FART FAQ ///      YOU GET TWO FREE JERKS   
 )     / /   \__\     -        |     5/ NO ONE LIKES A SORE DICK 
 '-.__|_/    ///| I      VI    |        (TOO MUCH JERKING)       
      \_     |        |        |     6/ HE WHO SMELLS IT FIRST   
        |    |   II      VII   |        DEALT IT                 
         \   |        |        |     7/ WHEN I POUND MY NUTS WITH
         /   |  III      VIII  |        A HAMMER IT BRINGS ME    
         \   |        |        |        CLOSER TO GOD            
          \_ |   IV      IX    |     8/ I FORGET                 
            \|        |        |     9/ ONCE UPON A TIME I ATE   
             |    V      X     |        RABBIT SHIT              
             |______b'ger______|    10/ THERE IS NO SPOON        

#962: HUNGRY PIG

Sun, 2002 Feb 10

                                   .,,,ccccc,,.                          
,=\.       ,ce$$$$$$$$$$$$$ec.-e$$$$PPFF""??$$$$$$$ec,.           ,,_    
`4c`?$$r z$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$b-"',r"',cec`b`$$$$$$$$$$$$c.      $' `)   
  ?$c, ,$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ce$$P"e$$$$$"/",$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$b.   ?, ,$   
   `$F4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"z$$$$F'-",$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$bece$$",="
    " $$??$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$E.d$$$$F',d$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P"     
      ?.   $$$$$$$$$$"  "?$$$$$$$$$EC- $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$F       
      `$bed$$$$$$$$$bc,,d$$$$$$$$$$E ;;`$$$$$$$$P3$$$$$$$$$$$$Pc?F       
        `;-=====??$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P,!; `$$$$$$$:?F`$$$$$$$$$$E43F       
        ,e$$$$$$e,"$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$",!';!  $$$$$$4P.$$$$$$$$$$$$:$        
       4L "$$$$P 3$ $ zd$$$$$$$$P";!!;!!:``$$$$F$E`$$$$$$$$$$$E.$        
        ?$$$?$$be$" ,$$$$$"z$$P";!!!!!!!!;\`$$$F$E`$$$$$$$$$$$"$F        
          ``"==c,ce$$$P",c$$F.;!!!!!!!!!!! ! ?$L?$:$$$$$$$$$$$$P         
            ;'!:  .,,4$$$P",;!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <:"$`$L3$$$$$$$$$$$          
          ; !; `'. "^"".,;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <;` ?be$$$$$$$$$P           
         ;!'!!!; `!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <! .?L$$$$$$C"F            
        ;! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! `<, ?$d$$$$$-P            
       ;!!,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     "$$$$$bzF            
      ;!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     "$$$$bF             
     '!!',!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!;    "$$$E              
      '' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'    `$$$              
        :!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'      $$$              
        !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'       d$$$.             
       !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'`         `"CE;             
        `!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'`            dP$$$              
           ``''<!!!!!!!!>>'''````````                 " ""               
                ,=zbe=     4P"$$                                         
                  ""       "                                             
     I HAVE MY BIB !!!!!!! SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS !!!!!!!!!         
            I'M GOING TO SUCK YOUR FUCKING COCK BUSTER                   

#1327: PINKEYE

Mon, 2003 Feb 10

+--------------------------------------------------------------+
|             $*                         *8*                   |
|            88   $*                      "*8"  .              |
|           88   88   $*               *8*     8 *,            |
|          88   88   88                 "*8 *   "*8*           |
|         88   88   88              *8 *   "*8 * ,             |
|        *$   88   88                " *8" .  "*8*             |
|            *$   88        .-888-.        8 * ,               |
|                *$       .888red888.       "*8*               |
|                        ,888888.*;;*.                         |
|                        888888*;;;;;`                         |
|                        888888*;;;;;j                         |
|                        `*00*";;;;;.'                         |
|               *8*       `;;;blue;;'        $*                |
|                "*8 *      `-;;;-'         88   $*            |
|             *8*   "*8 *,                 "*   88   $*        |
|              "*8" .  "*8*               *.   "*   88         |
|          *8 *     8 * ,                88   *.   "*          |
|           " *8 *   "*8*               *$   88   *.           |
|               "*8 * ,                     *$   88            |
|                  "*8*                         *$       leejj |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
                                                                
                         I HAVE PINKEYE                         

#1692: SLAC

Tue, 2004 Feb 10

                        ,-O .-"             
                     .-" .-"          ..-O  
                      .-"      _..--""      
              ...._...._ ..--""             
     ...+++'''  .'      `.            ___..O
  - '       .../   _   _  \ __...---""      
      ...++''' ;   @   @   b                
   - '         :      o    BB-------O       
                .  ----   dBP__             
             ... +._    .dBB'_ """""----O   
   ...++'''...... `*8BBBP'    ""--.._       
 -' ...++'''                ``-._    ""O    
  -'        dBBBb| | |dBBBb      `-._       
          dBBBBBBb   dBBBBBBb        `O     
        dBBBBBBBBBb dBBBBBBBBBb             
       dBBBBBPBBBBBBbdBBBBBB"BBBBBb         
    __dBBBBBP BBBBBBBBBBBBBB "BBBBBb__      
     --"BBP    BBBBBBBBBBBBBB  "BBP --      
     .'  "     BBBBBBBBBBBBBB    " `.       
     .///      BBBBBBBBBBBBBB     \\\.      
              BBBBPdBBBBBBBB                
              BBBBPdBBBBBBBB                
              BPdBBBBBBBBBP                 
      _     .dBBBBBBBBBBBP                  
   .'  `:o.dBBBBBBBBBBBBP                   
  |    |BB\BBBBBBBBBP"                      
  |    |BB\BBBBBBP"d     I'M SLAC           
__\____BB\BBP""dBBB                         
   |   |BB'   BBBBBB                        
    `._.'"    BBBBBB                        
              :====:                        
            dBBBBBBBBB                      
            BBBBBBBBBB                      
             """""""                        
                |                           

#2058: PAC-MAN AND JESUS CHRIST

Thu, 2005 Feb 10

onion, pac-man

 ================================================.    
      .-.   .-.     .--.                         |    
     | OO| | OO|   / _.-' .-.   .-.  .-.   .''.  |    
     |   | |   |   \  '-. '-'   '-'  '-'   '..'  |    
     '^^^' '^^^'    '--'                         |    
 ===============.  .-.  .================.  .-.  |    
                | |   | |                |  '-'  |    
                | |   | |                |       |    
                | ':-:' |                |  .-.  |    
 l42            |  '-'  |                |  '-'  |    
 ==============='       '================'       |    
                                                      
IT'S LIKE JESUS IS RUNNING FROM GHOSTS IN A MAZE      
                                                      
LET'S MAKE PARALLELS BETWEEN JESUS CHRIST AND PAC-MAN 
FOR INSTANCE COMPARING ENERGIZERS YOU EAT TO SCARE THE
MONSTERS TO THE WAFERS THAT ARE THE BODY OF CHRIST AND
THE GHOSTS TO UNBELIEVERS AND THE LITTLE DOTS AS I    
DON'T KNOW MAYBE THEY'RE THE APOSTLES BUT LET'S GO    
ON AND ON ABOUT IT FOR TWENTY PARAGRAPHS TREATING IT  
SERIOUSLY EVEN THOUGH IT'S PATHETICALLY RIDICULOUS    
UNTIL WE'RE ALL TOTALLY SICK OF IT AND WANT TO DIE    
                                                      
KIND OF LIKE THE ONION                                

#2423: FOOD

Fri, 2006 Feb 10

/\     __                               
  \ .-':::.                             
   \ :::::|\      FOOD IS A SHIT INDUCER
  |,\:::'/  \                           
  `.:::-'    \                          
    `-.       \         ___             
       `-.     |     .-'';:::.          
          `-.-'     / ',''.;;;\         
                   |  ','','.''|        
                   |\  ' ,',' /'        
                   `.`-.___.-;'         
                     `--._.-'  AsH      

#2788: I'VE TRIED TO FORGET

Sat, 2007 Feb 10

fear

 _____________________________________                                
|                                     |                               
|                                     |   I'VE TRIED TO FORGET        
|                ___()>               |                               
|                "  OO(\              |                               
|                 __(,/ "             |                               
|               _/    \               |                               
|                ~O:< /               |                               
|                     "               |                               
|                                     |   I'VE TRIED SO HARD TO FORGET
|________________________jjs__________|                               

#3153: SUPREME COMMANDER

Sun, 2008 Feb 10

             .-----.                                                 
           ,' -   - `.                                               
   _ _____/  <q> <p>  \_____ _                                       
  /_||   ||`-._____.-`||   ||-\       WHERE DID MY DAY GO            
 / _||===||           ||===|| _\                                     
|- _||===||===========||===||- _|                                    
\___||___||___________||___||___/                                    
 \\|///   \_:_:_:_:_:_/   \\\|//                                     
 |   _|    |_________|    |   _|                                     
 |   _|   /( ======= )\   |   _|                                     
 \\||//  /\ `-.___.-' /\  \\||//                                     
  (o )  /_ '._______.' _\  ( o)                                      
 /__/ \ |    _|   |_   _| / \__\                                     
 ///\_/ |_   _|   |    _| \_/\\\                                     
///\\_\ \    _/   \    _/ /_//\\\                                    
\\|//_/ ///|\\\   ///|\\\ \_\\|//                                    
        \\\|///   \\\|///                                            
        /-  _\\   //   _\                                            
        |   _||   ||-  _|             I JUST SAT DOWN TO PLAY SOME   
      ,/\____||   || ___/\,            SUPREME COMMANDER A MINUTE AGO
     /|\___`\,|   |,/'___/|\                                         
     |||`.\\ \\   // //,'|||                                         
     \\\\_//_//   \\_\\_//// LGB/fsc                                 

#3519: A REAL VOICE

Tue, 2009 Feb 10

        ( (                                            
         ) )))     COULD ROBERT KENNEDY, JR. GET A REAL
        (((((      FUCKING VOICE OR WHAT THE FUCK OVER 
      (  ))))))                                        
       )((((((                                         
      ((,````))                                        
       :(.)(.):  \\\\                                  
      (    _\  )|||||                                  
           c    \   |                                  
ejm      `._.'   ) /                                   
               /\ /                                    
              /  \                                     
                 /                                     
                                                       
                                                       
                                                       

#3884: HENRY ROLLINS

Wed, 2010 Feb 10

      0_                                                            
       \`.     ___                                                  
        \ \   / __>0       YAP YAP YAP                              
    /\  /  |/' /                                                    
   /  \/   `  ,`'--.       I'M HENRY ROLLINS                        
  / /(___________)_ \                                               
  |/ //.-.   .-.\\ \ \     YAP YAP YAP                              
  0 // :@ ___ @: \\ \/                                              
    ( o ^(___)^ o ) 0      WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME
     \ \_______/ /         I'M A TALENTLESS BIG-NECKED DIPFUCK      
 /\   '._______.'--.                                                
 \ /|  |<_____>    |                                                
  \ \__|<_____>____/|__                                             
   \____<_____>_______/                                             
       |<_____>    |                                                
       |<_____>    |                                                
       :<_____>____:                                                
      / <_____>   /|                                                
     /  <_____>  / |                                                
    /___________/  |                                                
    |           | _|__                                              
    |           | ---||_                                            
    |   |L\/|/  |  | [__]                                           
    |  \|||\|\  |  /                                                
jgs |           | /                                                 
    |___________|/                                                  

#4249: IN MY SLEEP

Thu, 2011 Feb 10

                   _.-,                                            
              _ .-'  / .._      WELP OFF TO RAPE GHOSTS IN MY SLEEP
           .-:'/ - - \:::::-.                                      
         .::: '  e e  ' '-::::.   BECAUSE IT'S TOTALLY LEGAL THERE 
        ::::'(    ^    )_.::::::                                   
       ::::.' '.  o   '.::::'.'/_                                  
   .  :::.'       -  .::::'_   _.:                                 
 .-''---' .'|      .::::'   '''::::                                
'. ..-:::'  |    .::::'        ::::                                
 '.' ::::    \ .::::'          ::::                                
      ::::   .::::'           ::::                                 
       ::::.::::'._          ::::                                  
        ::::::' /  '-      .::::                                   
         '::::-/__    __.-::::'                                    
           '-::::::::::::::-'                                      
jrei           '''::::'''                                          

#4614: THE MOON OVER MINECRAFT

Fri, 2012 Feb 10

minecraft, sweden

               ____....                                                 
           a#####~:::::::,                   |                          
       a######P";:::::::::::,        .     --*--                        
    a########:::::::::::::::::,              |        .                 
   ########P::::::::::::*:::::::    .                         .         
  ########P::::::::::::::::::.:::.                                      
 ##### ##P:::::::::::::::::::::::;.               *                     
.#### O ##:::::*:::::::::::::::.::;.                                    
###### #### ::::::::::::::::::.:::::                                    
########@###,::::::::::::::::::::::;                                    
#########~~~:::::::::::::::*:::.:::;    \ /            .        .       
 ##### ##:::::::::::::::::::::::::;     / \     .                       
  ####a__ay::::::::::::::::::::::;                                      
   ########;::::::::::::::::::::;      .               .                
    ########a::::::::::::::::::'            .         .      *         .
      ########.:::::::::*;:::'             .                        . . 
       `d######a.::::::::::'                                    .  .    
          `~9#####.::::''           .               .            .      
                                                                        
     GOOD THING NOTCH FINALLY ADDED PHASES OF THE MOON                  
     AND YET CLEARLY HAS NO IDEA HOW THEY WORK                          
                                                                        
     BUT WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM THE GUY WHO TOOK SO LONG               
     FIGURING OUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NORTH AND EAST                 
                                                                        
     WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT FROM SWEDES                            

#4980: HOLIDAY DECORATIONS

Sun, 2013 Feb 10

   /___/____/____/____/_____/_______/______                         
  /_/____/____/___/______/_____/_____/___                           
 /_____/____/______/___/____/___/______/___/                        
/__/_____/_o__o/____/____/___/_____/____/______                     
 |        o__O_\o                                                   
 |       __o  \ o                                                   
 |      __o| __) o           _______                                
 |      | || \_/  o o       |  ___  |    TAKE THIS SHIT DOWN ALREADY
      |_|_||/\_|      o     | |   |                                 
     || | |/_/\_\      o    | |__        IT'S FUCKING FEBRUARY      
     ||_|_/I/  \_\     o    |                                       
     |___/_/    \_\   o     |()                                     
        /_/      \_\ o      |                                       
       /_/        \_\ o o   |                                       
      / /    ejm   \ \    o |_ o  o  o  o                           
                            o o            o                        
                                             o                      

#5345: FEEDBACK

Mon, 2014 Feb 10

                                     .(80                                    
                                    .,88888                                  
                    ______,4888888888888888                                  
  ,4888888888888888888888888888888888888888                                  
 (88888888888888888888888888888888888888888                                  
,888` BY   HH    HH                  `88888                                  
(88(  KH   AR    AS                    `(80                                  
`888. HH   HH    HH                                                          
 `888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888).             
   `~(8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888.            
             0.   .H.    .H.                                ,888)            
             000=88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888'            
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FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Tue, 2020 Jul 14)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe