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#293: SEE THIS MOUTH

Wed, 2000 Apr 12

sesame

              .---. .---.                             
             :     : o   :      SEE THIS MOUTH        
         _..-:   o :     :-.._    /  I CAN FIT AT     
     .-''  '  `---' `---' "   ``-.     LEAST TEN DICKS
   .'   "   '  "  .    "  . '  "  `.    IN HERE       
  :   '.---.,,.,...,.,.,.,..---.  ' ;                 
  `. " `.                     .' " .'                 
   `.  '`.                   .' ' .'                  
    `.    `-._           _.-' "  .'  .----.           
      `. "    '"--...--"'  . ' .'  .'  o   `.         
      .'`-._'    " .     " _.-'`. :       o  :        
jgs .'      ```--.....--'''    ' `:_ o       :        
  .'    "     '         "     "   ; `.;";";";'        
 ;         '       "       '     . ; .' ; ; ;         
;     '         '       '   "    .'      .-'          
'  "     "   '      "           "    _.-'             

#658: NORMAL ROCKWELL

Thu, 2001 Apr 12

          _____                                                    
        .'     `.         .::::::.                                 
        |       |        :'`"WW"'`:                                
     ___|_______|___     :        :     LOOK IT'S A NORMAN ROCKWELL
        (   .   )          '.  .`          PAINTING FOR FAGGOTS    
         `-' `-'         (        )                                
        (  (_)  )             )                                    
           ___               __                                    
         (  -  )          .      .                                 
    _.--' `. .' `--._ _.-'Yb.  .dY`-._                             
  .'H#==|=H#Y=|=H#=.-"     YX'`XY     "-.                          
 '|_H#__|_H#|_|_H#'        `X  X'        `                         
: | H#  | H#| | H:          Y  Y          :                        
:-|-H#--|-H#|-|-H:          `  '          :                        

#1023: HYPNOTIZE

Fri, 2002 Apr 12

                    dS$$S$S$S$S$S$S$$Sb                            
                   :$$S^S$S$S$S$S$S^S$$;  CERTAINLY MY GOOGLY EYES 
                   SSP   `^$S$S$^'   TSS  WILL HYPNOTIZE YOU AND   
                   $$       `"'       $$  TRICK YOU INTO WRITING ME
                  _SS ,-           -  SS_  CHEQUES AND/OR SUCKING  
                 :-.|  _    - .-   _  |.-;  MY PATHETIC WANGLET    
                 :\(; ' "-._.'._.-" ` |)/;                         
                  \`|  , o       o .  |'/  HERE GOES !!!! ZWOOOOM  
                   ":     -'   `-     ;"                           
                     ;.              :  bug                        
                     : `    ._.    ' ;                             
                   .sSb   ._____.   dSs.                           
                _.d8dSSb.   ._.   .SSbT8b._                        
            _.oOPd88SSSS T.     .P SSSS888OOo.                     
        _.mMMOOPd888SSSSb TSqqqSP dSSSS88OMOOOMm._                 
     .oOMMMOMOOM8O8OSSSSSb TSSSP dSSSSS8OOMMOOMMOOOo._             
   .OOMMOOOMMOOMOOOO  "^SSSTSSP dSSS^"OOOOMMOOMMMOOMMMb.           
  dOOOMMMOMMOOOMOOOO      "^SSSS^"   :OOO8MMMOOMMOOMMOMMb          
 :MMMOOMMOMMOOMMO8OS         `P      8O8OPdMMOOMMOMMOMMMM;         
 MMMMOOMMMMMOOMbTO8S;               :8888MMMMMOMMOMMOMMMMM         
 OMMMMOOMMMMOOOMMOOOS        S     :O8OPdMOMMMOMOMMOOMMMMO         
:OMMMMOOMMOMMOOMbTObTb.     :S;   .PdOPdMOOMMMMMOMMOMMMMMO;        
MOOMMMMOMMOMMOOMMMOObTSSg._.SSS._.PdOPdMOOMMMMOMMMMOMMMMOOM        
MMOMMMMOMMMOMMOOMMbT8bTSSSSSSSSSPd8OPdOOOMMMMOOMMMMOMMMOOMM        
MMOMMMOMMMMMOMMOOMMMbT8bTSSSSSPd88PdOOOOMMMMOOMMMMMMMMOOMMM        

#1388: ALL YOUR BASE

Sat, 2003 Apr 12

MY MACHINE RESPONDS TO DNS AS WE.GET.SIG.NAL!!!                    
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MMM OH BWHAHHA MMM OH MAN THAT'S GREAT            
COME ON PEOPLE "ALL YOUR BASE" REFERENCES ARE SO SEPTEMBER TENTH   
                                                                   
                                  _                                
                               _ooOoo_                             
                              o8888888o                            
                              88" . "88                            
                              (| -_- |)                            
                              O\  =  /O                            
                           ____/`---'\____                         
                         .'  \\|     |//  `.                       
                        /  \\|||  :  |||//  \                      
                       /  _||||| -:- |||||_  \                     
                       |   | \\\  -  /'| |   |                     
                       | \_|  `\`---'//  |_/ |                     
                       \  .-\__ `-. -'__/-.  /                     
                     ___`. .'  /--.--\  `. .'___                   
                  ."" '<  `.___\_<|>_/___.' _> \"".                
                 | | :  `- \`. ;`. _/; .'/ /  .' ; |               
                 \  \ `-.   \_\_`. _.'_/_/  -' _.' /               
       ===========`-.`___`-.__\ \___  /__.-'_.'_.-'================
                               `=--=-'                    hjw      

#1754: MIRROR, MIRROR

Mon, 2004 Apr 12

figlet, original

_    _ _  ___          ___.    . ___. .   .    
|\  /| \   |        | /   |    |  __| |___|    
| \/ |     |        | \___|    |    | |   |    
|    |    _|_       .     | ___| ___| |   |    
                                               
   __  ___.  ___.  ___.    _     ___. _____    
  /  |  __| /   | /   |   / \   /   |   |      
 |   |    | \___| \___|  /___\  \___|   |      
  \__| ___|     |     | /     \  /  |   |      
                                               
  ___. .    .   ___   .   .      .   . ___     
 /   | |    |  /   \   \ /       |  /|  |      
 \___| |    | |     |   \        | / |  |      
  /  |  \__/   \___/     \       |/  | _|_     
                                               
  ___.    .   ___   .   . ___. ___.    _       
   __|    |  /   \  |___| .__| .__|   / \      
     |    | |     | |   | |    |     /---\     
  ___|  __|  \___/  |   | |___ |___ /     \    
                                            tQn

#2119: AN AARDVARK JOINS THE NTF

Tue, 2005 Apr 12

freespace

             ,                                                          
       (`.  : \               __..----..__                              
        `.`.| |:          _,-':::''' '  `:`-._     I REJECT THE FOUNDING
          `.:\||       _,':::::'         `::::`-.   PRINCIPLES AND      
            \\`|    _,':::::::'     `:.     `':::`.  PRECEPTS OF THE    
             ;` `-''  `::::::.                  `::\  BETA AQUILAE      
          ,-'      .::'  `:::::.         `::..    `:\  CONVENTION       
        ,' /_) -.            `::.           `:.     |                   
      ,'.:     `    `:.        `:.     .::.          \                  
 __,-'   ___,..-''-.  `:.        `.   /::::.         |                  
|):'_,--'           `.    `::..       |::::::.      ::\                 
 `-'                 |`--.:_::::|_____\::::::::.__  ::|                 
                     |   _/|::::|      \::::::|::/\  :|                 
                     /:./  |:::/        \__:::):/  \  :\                
                   ,'::'  /:::|        ,'::::/_/    `. ``-.__           
     jrei         ''''   (//|/\      ,';':,-'         `-.__  `'--..__   
                                                           `''---::::'  

#2484: EXQUISITE CREATURES

Wed, 2006 Apr 12

                    _,,,_                                  
                  .'     `'.                               
                 /     ____ \                              
                |    .'_  _\/                              
                /    ) a  a|                               
               /    (    > |                               
              (      ) ._  /                               
              )    _/-.__.'`\                              
             (  .-'`-.   \__ )                             
              `/      `-./  `.                             
               |    \      \  \                            
         jgs   |     \   \  \  \                           
               |\     `. /  /   \                          
                                                           
DAY 1: MILD SPOTTING TO HEAVY FLOW                         
DAY 2: HEAVY FLOW                                          
DAY 3: HEAVY FLOW                                          
DAY 4: HEAVY FLOW AND BITCHINESS                           
DAY 5: AVAILABLE FOR SEX UPON RECEIPT OF EXPENSIVE PRESENTS

#2849: THE SOUND OF SILENCE

Thu, 2007 Apr 12

                                               |      
                                              -x-     
                                               |      
              v .   ._, |_  .,                        
           `-._\/  .  \ /    |/_    IF EVERYONE       
               \\  _\, y | \//       LICKED A DICK    
         _\_.___\\, \\/ -.\||         AT THE SAME TIME
           `7-,--.`._||  / / ,         WOULD A TREE   
           /'     `-. `./ / |/_.'       IN THE FOREST 
                     |    |//            HEAR IT      
                     |_    /                          
                     |-   |                           
                     |   =|                           
                     |    | jg                        
--------------------/ ,  . \--------._                

#3215: PERSONAL TIME MACHINE

Sat, 2008 Apr 12

      (\                     /)                                              
      (v\                   /v)                                              
     (vvv\                 /vvv)                                             
    (vvvvv\               /vvvvv)                                            
   (vvvvvvv\             /vvvvvvv)                                           
  (vvvvvvvvv\   _---_   /vvvvvvvvv)                                          
 (vvvvvvvvvvv\/  XII  \/vvvvvvvvvvv)                                         
(vvvvvvvvvvvv/      /  \vvvvvvvvvvvv)                                        
(vvvvvvvvvvv/      /    \vvvvvvvvvvv)                                        
(vvvvvvvvvv|IX   @   III |vvvvvvvvvv)                                        
 (vvvvvvvvvv\      \    /vvvvvvvvvv)                                         
  (vvvvvvvvvv\         /vvvvvvvvvv)                                          
    (vvvvvvvvv\  VI   /vvvvvvvvv)                                            
       (vvvvvvvv-___-vvvvvvvv)                                               
         (vvvvvv/   \vvvvvv)    I LIKE TIVO'ING SHOWS AND THEN WATCHING      
         (vvvvv/     \vvvvv)     THEM MONTHS LATER BECAUSE WITH THE          
          (vvv/       \vvv)       RANDOM COMMERCIALS IT'S KIND OF LIKE       
ejm97      (v/         \v)         HAVING YOUR VERY OWN PERSONAL TIME MACHINE
           (/           \)                                                   
                              THAT ONLY GOES BACK IN TIME I GUESS            
                               BUT HEY IT'S A START                          

#3580: PARKINSON'S

Sun, 2009 Apr 12

    . ,                                                              
     *    ,           I'LL HAVE SOME PARKINSON'S PLEASE              
` *~.|,~* '                                                          
'  ,~*~~* `     _                                                    
 ,* / \`* '    //                                                    
  ,* ; \,O.   //                                                     
      ,(:::)=//                                                      
     (  `~(###)                                                      
      %---'`"y                                                       
       \    /                                                        
        \  /          THAT'S A DELICIOUS TYPE OF ICE CREAM RIGHT ????
  hjw  __)(__                                                        
      '------`          RIGHT ?????????                              

#3945: TORAH

Mon, 2010 Apr 12

jewish

           ___,,                                                      
          (()))))    SHIT THING IS TOO LONG HOW ABOUT                 
         ())    |     WE JUST SUMMARIZE IT AS:                        
        ())c  6_6                                                     
        )(;\___/)                                                     
      .'  \,/:\,/`.     "LOTS OF SQUIGGLY LETTERS, BLAH BLAH, NO PORK"
     /       :     \                                                  
    |   Y    :   Y  |                                                 
    |__ |    :   |  |   ___                                           
    /_ \/-=:;,_  |  |  /.-.\                                          
   (/ )/-..___/-.|__j__\\  Y                                          
  _/ /== === =///\== === \ _\_                                        
 / `Y== === === === === ==Y   \                                       
( // )-------------------(  \\ )                                      
 \__/hjw/wba              \___/                                       

#4310: AMAZON CLOUD PLAYER

Tue, 2011 Apr 12

amazon

                 HE SAY YOU AMAZON CROWD PRAYAH
                                               
 .---.  .---.  /                               
/     \/     \                                 
\     /\     /                                 
 '---'  '---'   sjw                            

#4676: GENUINE CONCERN

Thu, 2012 Apr 12

           ))),,                                           
          /  ///                                           
.        . .  /                                            
\\      <     )       I HAVEN'T BEAT OFF TODAY OR YESTERDAY
-C\      \_- |                                             
\_/     __|__/L__     DO YOU THINK I'LL BE OKAY            
       /         \                                         
            ___   \                                        
            \ /                                            
             V  __                                         
             |--\   utis                                   
             \__/--                                        

#5041: COME OUT AS A BRIGHT

Fri, 2013 Apr 12

bright

    _------_                                                              
  -~        ~-                                                            
 -     _      -                                                           
-      |>      -                                                          
-      |<      -  COULD YOU COME OUT OF THE CLOSET AS A BRIGHT            
 -     |>     -   SO WE CAN ALL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE FOR BEING IRRITATING
  -    ||    -                                                            
   -   ||   -                                                             
    -__||__-                                                              
    |______|                                                              
    <______>                                                              
    <______>                                                              
       \/                                                                 

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