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#215: CALL A COP

Tue, 2000 Jan 25

     HELP I'M BEING ASSFUCKED   
          ___        ___        
         /   \,~~~~./   \ __    
        ( (            ) )Oo\   
    __   \_     @ @    _/  _/   
   /oO\_____\    Y    //  /     
   \_/  )   /         \  /(  \  
    /  /___/_         _\/__\  \ 
hjw  ' ______)       (_____  '  
`97   '_______)  . (_______'    
      '______)      (______'    
    __'_____)          (_____'__
        /    ,-------.    \     
     __/    /         \    \__  
    (      /           \      ) 
     \)   /             \   (/  
      \__/               \__/   
                                
    THIS REALLY HURTS CALL A COP

#581: ASSWORLD

Thu, 2001 Jan 25

             W E L C O M E  T O  A S S W O R L D               
                                                               
                       *      *       .`/\`.                   
   *            *                    | )  ( |                  
                                      `.\/.`                   
           *       .----------.       *               .`/\`.   
  *               /.---------./\__                 * |(    )|  
                  \       \___\ \ /`-._               `.\/.`   
       *         _.\      / O  \ \`-._ `-._    *               
             _.-`   \    / "|)  \ \   `-._ `-._                
         _.-`        \  /  ( \   \ \      `-._ `-._            
     _.-`        o    \/__________\/          `-._ `-._        
 _.-`       O           \o)    \o)                `-._/\  *    
/\                O     //     //    _____________    \ \      
\ \      _____________  \\     \\   /_____________/\   \ \     
 \ \   /\   \O_   _O) \=._\     \\ _\     , ^ .   \ \   \ \    
  \ \  \ \   | ` ` |   \  `-.o o.-`  \   ~ ) ( ~   \ \   \ \  *
   \ \  \ \ / \   ( \   \  _.-o o-._  \ ~ )\o/( ~   \ \   \ \  
    \ \  \ \_____________\`\\     \\`-=\____|________\/    \ \ 
     \ \  \/_____________/  \\     \\   /  / \   /          \ \
 *    \ \                  _/o)____/o)_/        /            \/
       \/`-._             /_\\_____\\__/\      /          _.-` 
        `-._ `-._         \  .---------\ \    /       _.-`   * 
   *        `-._ `-._      \ \      / 0 \ \  /    _.-`         
                `-._ `-._   \ \    / <|\ \ \/ _.-`      *      
           *        `-._ `-._\ \  /  / \  \ \`    *            
                        `-./__\ \/_________\/         *        
  .`/\`.           *           `-----------`                *  
 | |  | |                                           .``.       
  `.\/.`     *                           *        .`//\\`.     
                               *               ~~] ((  )) [~~  
  LGB *              *                            `.\\//.`     
                                                    `..`       

#946: AIDS DICTIONARY

Fri, 2002 Jan 25

                                 _.                
                        _.-----'' `\               
            __..-----'''            `.             
           <            `\.           '\           
           :.              `.           `\         
            `:.              `.           `-.      
              `:\ N  o         `.            `+.   
                `:. A  s  i      `.  __.===::::;)  
.         r   I   `: c       ___.__>'::::::a:f/'   
     C          A   `.  _,===:::=-'-=-"""''        
 i      d  t         '-/:::''                      
                       ''                          
          y                                        
                                                   
         HOLY GOD LOOK AT THE AIDS DRIPPING OFF    
         THIS DAMN DICTIONARY                      
                                                   
         I'M CALLING THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL
         RIGHT FUCKING NOW                         

#1311: BLAIR 2004

Sat, 2003 Jan 25

election 2004

          __                                                      
         (::\                                                     
   _____ _\::\__                                                  
 /|    _(::(  \::\__                                              
/ |  _(::\::\  \::\:\    CAN I VOTE FOR BLAIR IN THE NEXT ELECTION
\ |_(::Y\""`.\__\_|""\                                            
 \___\/__\ ___________\    OH RIGHT THAT CITIZENSHIP CLAUSE       
  ( ( \ x \  __ _  _  _\                                          
  |_:__\~  \ \_ |\| `(__\    FUCKING CONSTITUTION                 
  |z:   \   \ \ |"\\_7 _)\                                        
  |i:    \   \            \                                       
  |p:     \ # \____________\                                      
  |p:      \  /  cancers   /                                      
  (o:______ \/____________/                                       

#1676: MODERN ART

Sun, 2004 Jan 25

           +\                                        
           []\                                       
          .'-+\                                      
          \                                          
          ! v DN                                     
                                                     
WHERE DOES THE ART END AND THE SIGNATURE BEGIN ??!??!
YOU BE THE JUDGE BECAUSE ALL MODERN ART IS CRAP      

#2042: BEST MOVIE EVER

Tue, 2005 Jan 25

  .-""`````````""-.                                    
 /'-.___________.-'\    THE COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE, 
;                   ;   HER LOVER, AND THE TWO HOURS OF
|    __.......__    |   MY LIFE THAT ARE GONE AND I CAN
|.-'`      ~    `'-.|   NEVER GET BACK                 
|::-.___~______~.-'`|                                  
;:::::.             ;                                  
 \::::.            /                                   
  ':::::.        .'                                    
    `-:::::.._.-'                                      
         | |                                           
         | |                                           
         | |                                           
         | |                                           
         | |                                           
         | |                                           
 jgs  ___| |___                                        
  .-'`   | |   `'-.                                    
 (      `"""`      )                                   
  '._           _.'                                    
     `"""""""""`                                       

#2407: BEST PART ABOUT DRINKING

Wed, 2006 Jan 25

best part

                ______                             
            .==<_\),__)                            
        ,o(_/)   /|                                
      ///// /___/ |                                
     ////     ___/   DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART
    //        \       ABOUT DRINKING IS ?!?!?!?!   
  /         /-'                                    
 /  ,      /       YEAH PRETTY MUCH THE DRINKING   
(   |      |                                       
 \   \     |    WAIT WHO TOLD YOU                  
  )   |    |                                       
 /   / \   /                                       
 (  /   | /                                        
  \/    (/       S-v                               

#2772: NOT GOING TO GUESS

Thu, 2007 Jan 25

     /:""|       .@@@@@,       YOU'RE SIMPLY NOT GOING TO GUESS WHAT
    |: 66|_      @@@@@@@@,     PORN-INSPIRED ALTERNATE TITLE THAT   
    C     _)     aa`@@@@@@     PORNOGRAPHERS CAME UP WITH FOR       
     \ ._|      (_   ?@@@@     "MEET THE FOCKERS"                   
      ) /        =' @@@@"                                           
     /`\\         \(```                                             
    || |Y|       //`\        ."~~~~~".     WAIT HOW DID YOU GUESS   
    || |#|      / | ||       |  .:.  |                              
    || |#|      \ | ||    A  | /6 6\ |                              
    || |#|      / | ||   |~|_|_\ e /_|_     .@@@@,                  
    :| |=:     /  | |\   |_|)___`"`___(8    aa`@@@,                 
    ||_|,|    |   |_| \     |~~~~~~~~~|     =  `@@@                 
    \)))||    |   (((  |    \_________/       )_/`@'                
 |~~~`-`~~~|  `~\~~~~~~|     |/ /_\ \|       / || @                 
 |         |     `\   /      ()/___\()       | || @                 
 |_________|       ( ||      ||~~~~~||       /~|| "`                
 |_________|       | ||      ||     ||      /__W_\                  
     | ||          | ||      ||     ||        |||                   
     |_||__      __|_||      ||_____||       _|||                   
jgs  (____))    (:;:;))      ||-----||      ((___)                  

#3137: LATTER DAY SAINTS

Fri, 2008 Jan 25

mormon

             +                                             
            (|)                                            
  _____.___.|_|.   WEIRD                                   
 |    / \  |===|                                           
 |   /   \ | o |                                           
 |__/__v__\|, ,|                                           
 | | | | | || ||   HOW COME MORE BLACK FOLKS AREN'T MORMONS
 |/| . . . |','|                                           
 ||| A A A | , |                                           
 ||| M M M |   |  wtx                                      
---------------------                                      

#3503: MOFO

Sun, 2009 Jan 25

word

    ,"=-.                                                              
   /    _),`'".     I THINK IT'S UNFAIR THAT ONLY "MOTHERFUCKER"       
  (   /a( ),   )     GETS ROUTINELY ABBREVIATED AS "MOFO"              
  )  C  = =  ?/                                                        
 (  )) (_  o-<        MORE BAD WORDS NEED THIS KIND OF TREATMENT       
 ) ( `-' \; ( \_                                                       
(  | \ ) )|  \_/}                             ,.                       
 \  \  \(_;/-|_)                             (\(\)                     
  )/) `._,--/ /             ,_              ;  o >                     
   /     `!__!!              {`-.          /  (_)                      
  (       (_o))              `={\`-._____/`   |                        
---`-._,      )---            `-{ /    -=`\   |   MAY I SUGGEST "COSU" 
 ------(   /  |----            `={  -= = _/   /                        
       |   (  |                   `\  .-'   /       FOR UM             
       :__/|\_;                    {`-,__.'===,_                       
         \ |/                     //`        `\\      YOU FIGURE IT OUT
          )(\_             jgs   //                                    
         /_)--`                 `\=                                    
 gpyy    \_!                                                           

#3868: TOSS-UP

Mon, 2010 Jan 25

     ,        ,                          
      {\      /}   MY BALLS ARE A TOSS-UP
     {~ \ ,__/~}                         
     {~= ;`'_)=}                         
     `{~,;) \~}                          
       `;/ \)=-"                         
      ~~( )/`=="                         
        /))                              
jgs     \\\                              
         ``"                             

#4233: BEAUTIFUL SILHOUETTE

Tue, 2011 Jan 25

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX    
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX    
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX    
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX    
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXY"'   '"YXXXXXXX    
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXY YXXXY YXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXY           YXXXXX    
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX   XXX   XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX             XXXXX    
XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXY   YXY   YXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX             XXXXX    
XXXXXXXXXY YXXXXXXX     X     XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX             XXXXX    
XXXXXXX"X   X"XXXXX     X     XXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXb           dXXXXX    
XXXXXXX X   X XXXXX     X     XXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXbo.   .odXXXXXXX    
XXXXXXX       XXXXX                 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX    
XXXXXXX       XXXXX                  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX    
XXXXXXX       XXXXX                  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX    
XXXXXXX       XXXXX                  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX AoS
                                                                           
   NICE SILHOUETTE                                                         
                                                                           
   LET'S NUKE IT                                                           

#4598: SILVERWARE

Wed, 2012 Jan 25

      ________  .====                                          
     [________>< :===                                          
                '====                                          
      ________ ___,,,,,,,     WHAT NO SPORKS ?!??!? PHILISTINES
     [________>__________\                                     
                                                               
      ________   .==.                                          
jgs  [________>c((_  )                                         
                 '=='                                          

#4964: JUNGLE BOOK

Fri, 2013 Jan 25

                           ..:::::;'|               
   __   ___             / \:::::;'  ;               
 ,::::`'::,`.          :   ___     /                
:_ `,`.::::)|          | ,'SSt`.  /                 
|(` :\)):::`;          |:::::::| :                  
: \ ,`'`:::::`.        |:::::::| |     IS THIS SIMBA
 \ \  ,' `:::::`.      :\::::::; |                  
  \ `.  ,' ` ,--.)     : `----'  |                  
   :  `-.._,'__.'      :   ____  |                  
   |     |              :,'::::\ |                  
   :  _  |              :::::::::|                  
   ;     :              |:::::::||                  
  :      |              |:::::::;|                  
  :  __  :              |\:::::; |                  
  |      |              | _____  |                  
  |      :              |':::::\ |                  
  : .--  |\             |::::::::|                  
  :      :.\            |:::::::;|                  
   :      \:\           |::::::/ |                  
    \ .-'  \'`.         ;`----' /;                  
     \      \|::-...__,'._     //                   
      `.  ,' `:::/ |::::::`. ,'/                    
        `.     `-._;:::::::.','                     
          `-..__,   ``--'' ,'                       
                ``---....-'                         

#5329: STAR WARS EPISODE VII

Sat, 2014 Jan 25

         _.-'~~~~~~`-._                                                 
        /      ||      \       CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEW STAR WARS MOVIE   
       /       ||       \      TO FOCUS ON THE DRUG ADDICT, THE OLD MAN 
      |        ||        |     WHO'S PRACTICALLY FALLING ASLEEP WHILE   
      | _______||_______ |     READING LINES, AND THE SHITTY YOUNG ACTOR
      |/ ----- \/ ----- \|     WHO'S NOW A SHITTY OLD ACTOR             
     /  (     )  (     )  \                                             
    / \  ----- () -----  / \                                            
   /   \      /||\      /   \                                           
  /     \    /||||\    /     \                                          
 /       \  /||||||\  /       \                                         
/_        \o========o/        _\                                        
  `--...__|`-._  _.-'|__...--'                                          
          |    `'    |                                                  

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