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#249: FISH TANK

Mon, 2000 Feb 28

         PLEASE KILL ME          
             ,  O                
             }\   o              
   )    \  .'  `\ .              
  (     }}<   ( 6>   )           
 ) )    /  `,  .'   (   (        
( (          }/      )   )       
 ) )         '      (   (        
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

#615: PLAYING A BAGPIPE

Wed, 2001 Feb 28

   *** %%                                         
  *****%%>>                                       
  *****||                                         
  #####||%%  %%    EITHER I'M PLAYING A BAGPIPE OR
  d0 0b||%%--%%>>  I'M FELLATING AN ALIEN CREATURE
  ( " )|||| //     FROM XERXES B                  
 __|\\_||||//                                     
(  \ \\#=#=#=#     EITHER WAY I'M HAVING A GRAND  
\ \ \ ||=#=#=#     OL' TIME                       
 \ \.\|E)#=#=#                                    
 /\/=(B|           VIVA LA DIFFERENCE !!!!!!!!!!  
 #==0=@@                                          
 #=***=#                                          
 #=ooo=#                                          
 #=#=#=#                                          
  || ||                                           
  || ||                                           
 <@@ @@>                                          

#980: THE ARK

Thu, 2002 Feb 28

                     HEY I HAD A NICE LITTLE HAREM GOING
                          WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN     
                          I HAVE TO START OVER ?????    
                                                        
                                           /            
              \_/                    \\   /             
            --(_)--                 < "_)               
              / \     .--.-.--.     / /                 
                          V        /#/                  
                    ______________/(/                   
      )\      _,--,/           .-/#/\                   
      "\"-._.oo ' /             \)/_\\                  
        "-.___. ./____________________\                 
             \__  | (  )  |__|  |__| |                  
             ,-,\_|_|__|_____________|__,-,             
             | |________________________| |             
             L L________________________J J             
'._.'._.'._.'T T________________________P P_.'._.'._.'  
              \ \______________________/ /              
'sjw'._.'._.'._\ \____________________/ /'._.'._.'._.'  
                ","-.______________.-","                
                  "-._""--------""_.-"                  
                      ""--------""                      

#1345: BUKKAKE VICTIM NUMBER ONE

Fri, 2003 Feb 28

I'M HERE TO AUDITION FOR THE PART OF       
BUKKAKE VICTIM NUMBER ONE                  
NO I DIDN'T BRING MY OWN TOOTHBRUSH SORRY  
FROWNY FACE                                
I'LL JUST CONCENTRATE MAINLY ON PASTING MY 
EYES SHUT IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE SIRS
                                           
            ,-\';__.                       
          ./ ( _\)_\\                      
         //  )(e (e( )                     
        ( ` (    > //                      
       __\__/' __=/`\                      
      /'    ` ~/ )   )                     
     |  _      ,(_,_/                      
     /  /\  o )   o)\                      
    /  , \` -     -  \___                  
 __/  /___\       |\____, \____________    
 __\  \_ __\    c '_____). \____ ______|   
 ___`o=._  /   _.-'\____ '\/_________|     
    /  |  /_.-' _.-')  '''     '           
   -.-/_ |___.-'_/  |          |           
      (_\_r     \   |          |           
        q_|     `   |          |           
         ||\     '  '          |           
         `I \       |          |           
             \    \ |          '           
              ) ' / /          |           
             /   / /           |           
  '         ,   / /            |           
 ___________|  / /_____________.____       
 b'ger______| / /___________________|_     
 Stef_______/(`(______________________|    
           / |  \ .                        
      ..  |  ,`._\                         
          '-'                              

#1710: BANG BUS

Sat, 2004 Feb 28

  ______________________            
 |,----.,----.,----.,--.\      WORST
 ||    ||    ||    ||   \\     BANG 
 |`----'`----'|----||----\`.   BUS  
 [            |   -||- __|(|   EVER 
 [  ,--.      |____||.--.  |        
 =-(( `))-----------(( `))==        
jrei`--'             `--'           

#2076: ANY RESEMBLANCE TO HARLAN ELLISON IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL

Mon, 2005 Feb 28

                                   .-----.   ()()            
                                  /       \ .'()             
                                  |__...__|/                 
                                  |_....._|                  
                                .-'  ___  '-.                
                                \_.-`. .`-._/                
          __ .--. _              (|\ (_) /|)                 
       .-;.-"-.-;`_;-,            ( \_=_/ )                  
     .(_( `)-;___),-;_),          _(_   _)_                  
    (.( `\.-._)-.(   ). )       /` ||'-'|| `\                
  ,(_`'--;.__\  _).;--'`_)  _  /_/ (_>o<_) \_\               
 // )`--..__ ``` _( o )'(';,)\_//| || : || |\\               
 \;'        `````  `\\   '.\\--' |`"""""""`|//               
 /                   ':.___//     \___,___/\_(               
|                      '---'|      |__|__|                   
;                           ;      ;""|"";                   
 \                         /       [] | []                   
  '.                     .'      .'  / \  '.                 
 jgs'-,.__         __.,-'        `--'   `--'                 
     (___/`````````\___)                                     
                                                             
                                                             
I CALL IT SPECULATIVE FICTION !!!!!!!! I'M A FUTURIST !!!!!!!
                                                             
ALSO GETTING INTO FIST FIGHTS BECAUSE I'M SHORT              
AND SUING JAMES CAMERON BECAUSE I'M PETTY                    

#2441: KOREAN SCIENCE

Tue, 2006 Feb 28

korean, starcraft

 _________________________                                         
    ||   ||     ||   ||                                            
    ||   ||, , ,||   ||   SCIENTIFIC FRAUD ?!?!?!?!?               
    ||  (||/|/(\||/  ||                                            
    ||  ||| _'_`|||  ||                                            
    ||   || o o ||   ||   B-B-BUT I HAD TO FIND A WAY TO PAY FOR MY
    ||  (||  - `||)  ||   STARCRAFT AND/OR LINEAGE HABIT           
    ||   ||  =  ||   ||                                            
ScS ||   ||\___/||   ||                                            
    ||___||) , (||___||   YOU WACKY SOUTH KOREANS                  
   /||---||-\_/-||---||\                                           
  / ||--_||_____||_--|| \                                          
 (_(||)-| S123-45 |-(||)_)                                         

#2806: CONSPIRACY DUCK: PARTICLE PHYSICS

Wed, 2007 Feb 28

conspiracy duck*

                                       &&&                              
                                      &&   &&                           
  &&&&.                         &&&  .&&&&&                             
      &&     &&&                   &&&&&&&&&                            
 &&&&&&&&&  &         &`           &&       &&                          
      .&&&&&          &&&;        &8                                    
  .&&&:     &&        &` &      &&                                      
             8&&      &   `&   &&                                       
               &&    .&_ oO_&.-.-.                                      
                 && ( __     -/--'                                      
                  &&~ .'-__-'&         o< PARTICLE PHYSICS IS JUST A    
                   &&&~`'\`&              MASSIVE GROUPTHINK CONSPIRACY 
                     &&&~` _&                                           
                      &&&&` &&            WITH DUBYA ITS CHIEF PROPONENT
                       &&8&&&&                                          
                       &&&&&&&            (WEINBERG THAT IS)            
                   &  &&&&&&&                                           
                 &&;&&&&&&&                                             
                &&&&&&&&&&     ~~~                                      
         .~~~~~ `&&&&&&&&&    ~~~~                                      
     ~~~~~~~~~;!&&&&&&&&&&~/~~~~~~~~~                                   
  ~~~~~~~~\~~~~&/`      \`~~~~~~~~~~~~                                  
   ~~~~~~~~             `~~~~~~~~~~                                     
    ~~~~~~              ~~~~~~~                                         
    ~~~~                ~~~~                                            
                                                                        
BP                                                                      

#3171: BEING A COCK

Thu, 2008 Feb 28

wikipedia

                     ~-.                                      
   ,,,;            ~-.~-.~-                                   
  (.../           ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.                             
  } o~`,         ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.                           
  (/    \      ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.                          
   ;    \    ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.                            
  ;     {_.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~                                
 ;:  .-~`    ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.                                  
;.: :'    ._   ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-   THIS JUST IN:                 
 ;::`-.    '-._  ~-.~-.~-.~-                                  
  ;::. `-.    '-,~-.~-.~-.     WIKIPEDIA +                    
   ';::::.`''-.-'               FOLLOWING THE RULES =         
     ';::;;:,:'                  BEING A HUGE FUCKING COCK    
  mic   '||"                                                  
        / |     BASICALLY WIKIPEDIA IS A CATALYST FOR COCKNESS
      ~` ~"'     (AS IT IS NOT CONSUMED IN THE PROCESS        
                  OF GENERATING MORE COCKS)                   

#3537: COINCIDENCE

Sat, 2009 Feb 28

pornstar

                 \\\ ,                                                      
                  \ `|                                                      
                   ) (   .-""-.                                             
                   | |  /_  {  '.                                           
                   | | (/ `\   } )      Q: WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A PORN    
                   | |  ^/ ^`}   {         STAR HAS PRECISELY THE SAME      
                   \  \ \=  ( {   )        BIRTHDAY (DATE AND YEAR) AS I DO?
                    \  \ '-, {   {{                                         
                     \  \_.'  ) }  )                                        
                      \.-'   (     (    A: IT MEANS SHE'S A FAT OLD PIECE   
                      /'-.'_. ) (  }       OF SHIT TOO, DUH                 
                      \_(    {   _/\                                        
                       ) '--' `-;\  \      WHAT A STUPID QUESTION           
                   _.-'       /  / /                                        
            <\/>_.'         .'  / /                                         
        <\/></\>/.  '      /<\// /                                          
        </\>  _ |\`- _ . -/|<// (                                           
     <\/>    - _- `  _.-'`_/- |  \                                          
     </\>        -  - -  -     \\\                                          
      }`<\/>                <\/>`{                                          
      { </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\> }                                          
      }      </\> </\> </\>      {                                          
   <\/>.                         <\/>                                       
   </\>                          </\>                                       
    {`<\/>                     <\/>`}                                       
    } </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\> {                                       
    {      </\> </\> </\> </\>      }                                       
    }                               }                                       
    {           H A P P Y           {                                       
 <\/>        B I R T H D A Y        <\/>                                    
 </\>                               </\>                                    
   `<\/>                          <\/>'                                     
jgs </\>-<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>-</\>                                      
         </\> </\> </\> </\> </\>                                           

#3902: IT'S COLD

Sun, 2010 Feb 28

                .                                            .             
     *   .                  .              .        .   *          .       
  .         .                     .       .           .      .        .    
        o                             .                   .                
         .              .                  .           .                   
          0     .                                                          
                 .          .                 ,                ,    ,      
 .          \          .                         .                         
      .      \   ,                                                         
   .          o     .                 .                   .            .   
     .         \                 ,             .                .          
               #\##\#      .                              .        .       
             #  #O##\###                .                        .         
   .        #*#  #\##\###                       .                     ,    
        .   ##*#  #\##\##               .                     .            
      .      ##*#  #o##\#         .                             ,       .  
          .     *#  #\#     .                    .             .          ,
                      \          .                         .               
____^/\___^--____/\____O______________/\/\---/\___________---______________
   /\^   ^  ^    ^                  ^^ ^  '\ ^          ^       ---        
         --           -            --  -      -         ---  __       ^ RC 
   --  __                      ___--  ^  ^                         --  __  
                                                                           
           FUCK IT'S COLD HERE              SEND STERNO STAT               

#4267: YOU DECIDE

Mon, 2011 Feb 28

              ,, ".                                               
      , " .  :;_\,_:   ARE THESE BASKETBALLS OR LEMONS ?!??!?!?!?!
     ;__\,_: .. /` ,                                              
     .  /` ,  ``. "    YOU DECIDE                                 
      ` . "                                                       
ejm                                                               

#4632: D'OH

Tue, 2012 Feb 28

       _                                                                    
     /X \                                                                   
   _------_                                                                 
  /        \      D'OH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 |          |     !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 |          |     !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 |     __  __)    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 |    /  \/  \    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/\/\ (o   )o  )   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/c    \__/ --.    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
\_   _-------'    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 |  /         \   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 | | '\_______)   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 |  \_____)       !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
 |_____ |                                                                   
|_____/\/\        GET IT ??? IT'S HOMER SIMPSON SAYING "D'OH"               
/        \                                                                  

#4998: SECULAR AHUMANISM

Thu, 2013 Feb 28

   emmmmmm~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\    CAN'T I BE A SECULAR *A*HUMANIST
    """"""|_____                    )                                   
                """""""""--------"""                                    
Elijah                                                                  

#5363: SADDLE UP

Fri, 2014 Feb 28

                  ___                                                    
               .dSSSS$$pp..                                              
             .dSSSS$$$$$$$$;                                             
           .dSSSS$$$$$$$$$$$                                             
          :SSP^" T$$$$$$$$$$b_       I'M PUTTING A TIGER IN MY TANK !!!!1
         dSSP     $$$S$$$$$$$b`                                          
        dSS$;_.  .:$$$SS$$$$$$b      AND FOOD IN MY MOUTH !!!1111        
       dSS$$$_ ;  __."^TSS$$$$$b                                         
      dSS$$P;"    ""'  :lSS$$$$$b                                        
     :SS$$$ ;          ::SS$$$$$$b_.       THEN I'LL SADDLE UP TO SOME   
     SSS$$$ :  `       ;:SS$$$$$$$bp.      STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE          
    :SS$$$$b \ -=-  .-" SSS$$$$$$$$$$b                                   
    SSS$$$$$b.`.   /   d$SS$$$$$$$$$$$b                                  
    :SS$$$$$$$; ""T   :$$$SS$$$$$$$$P^^t--'                              
     SSS$$$S$$$   :   $$$$$SS$$$$$$$   :                                 
     :SS$$$SS$; __;  _$$$$$$SS$$$$$$   :                                 
      SSS$SS l;:  ;  :  $$$$SS$$$$$;   ;                                 
      :SS$SS $;:  ;  :  $$$SS$$$$$$;  /;                                 
       TSSSS :$ \ ;  ;  :$S$$$$$$$$.-"/                                  
        `SP; :;  ;:  ;   T$$$$$$$$;  /;     HOMPH HOMPH HOMPH HOMPH      
         : ;  ;  : `.;   /)T$$$$$P .' :                                  
         ; :  :   ;    .'/ :$$$P'.'  .'\                                 
         ;  \    :;   /   /$P^".' .-"   ;                                
         :       ;:     .'  .-"        / \                               
          `.____/_'.___:--""\    --' .'   )                              
        .-"      .'     "-._ "-._   ..--"")\                             
       :-'      :     "-.   "-._    ---""" /;                            
       ;    :   :        \      "-._....____;                            
      :  :   \  :\        `.                 \                           
      ;  ;    \  \\   \     \                 ;                          
     :  :      `. \\   \     \                :                          
     ;  ;       ;"-t\   `.    \               :                          
    :  :       :    `;         \              ;                          
    ;  ;       ;     :          \            /                           
   :  :       /       ;          \-..__    .';                           
   :  ;      /        :           ;    """T  ;                           
   : /      /          ; \        :       ;  ;                           
   ;/      :           :  \        ;      ;  ;                           
   ;       ;            ;  ;       :      ;  ;                           
  /       :             :  :        ;     ;  ;                           
 /        ;             :;          :     ;  ;                           
/        :              ::           ;    ;  ;_                          
`""--..__;              :_;      __  ;____;.-;';                         
   ;.__.:                 :..t-""  j"       ;  ;                         
   :    ;                 ;   ;--"" \ [bug] ;  ;                         
   ;    :                 ;   :      \      ;  ;                         
   :     \                ;    ;      ;.    ;  ;                         
    \     \               ;    :     /  ;   ;  ;                         
     \     \              ;    :        ;   ;  ;                         
      \     `-.           ;    ;      .'    ;  ;                         
       \       \          ;___/      /______;.-'                         
        \    ---;            /      /                                    
         ;______:         .-'      /                                     
                          '-------'                                      

FART BACK
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  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Tue, 2020 Jul 14)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe