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#1533: CONSPIRACY DUCK: NEW WORLD ORDER

Thu, 2003 Sep 4

conspiracy duck*

                              .....                       
                           .'       '.                    
                          .           .                   
                          :           :                   
                          '           '                   
                ,.*====.   '.       .'   .====*.,         
               .-`"/c)}}},    :...:    ,{{{(c\"`-.        
           _.-'-6>   {{{{{'''`     `'''}}}}}   <9-'-._    
          t         |}}}}}}           {{{{{{|         y   
           \__.___.'{{{{{{{           }}}}}}}'.___.__/    
               `[__/}}}}}}}}         {{{{{{{{\__]`        
                {{{.'     `'-._   _.-'`     '.}}}         
                }}/            ```            \{{         
                {{|                           |}}         
                }}|                           |{{         
         .------{{{\    ,               ,    /}}}------.  
        //.--------'    ;               ;   '---------.\\ 
       ((///  _          \             /          _  \\\))
 jgs    (((--' `''-------'`'"'-----'"'`'-------''` '--))) 
                                                          
o< THE 9/11 ATTACK WAS ORCHESTRATED BY PRESIDENT BUSH     
   AND THE ELDERS OF ZION IN ORDER TO FURTHER THEIR       
   PLANS FOR THE NEW WORLD ORDER                          

#1581: CONSPIRACY DUCK: GNUTELLA PIONEER

Wed, 2003 Oct 22

conspiracy duck*, gnutella

                           _,-|||||,                         
             ____ _   _-._-\\|     |                         
            o= o=\ \\'  `.\ \\o| o |)                        
           o=   o=)-))   //  \\=  // `.                      
            o=_o=/_//--'''    `\-'/   _`.                    
                      |`       | /   `-.                     
                      |        | | -'  |                     
                      \   `-.  ; |  _  |\                    
                       `.` ,  /__||  ;/  `-.                 
                       | `-._/   '---'`-. ; )                
                       \           \     `-'                 
                        | `-   |    \                        
                        |      |-    )                       
                        |      ;..__/                        
                        |     //   ,'---.                    
                       /  `--/ |________|                    
                      /`._  /                                
                      |`  `|                                 
             jrei     |   _ `.                               
                      `.,_____|                              
                                                             
o< PRETTY SURE GENE KAN WAS ASSASSINATED BY THE FREE SOFTWARE
   FOUNDATION BECAUSE GNUTELLA CAN'T SCALE                   

#1599: CONSPIRACY DUCK: OPEN SOURCE

Sun, 2003 Nov 9

conspiracy duck*, open source

 \ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ 
/ / / / / / / | | / / / / / / __  / / / / / / / / | | / / / / / / / / /
 \ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \   /..\  ` ` \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ 
--------------' `---------- (    ) \|/ -----------' `------------------
----------------------- _\___>  <__//` ------------------------------. 
/ / / / / / / / / / / / >,---.   ,-'  / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /| 
 \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ |  . \  \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ | 
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / /  `. `. \   ., / / / / / / / / / / / / / /| 
 \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \  |  `. | \||_ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ | 
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / `.  : |__||   / / / / / / / / / / / / /| 
 \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \  __> `.,---'  \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ | 
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / /  |.--'\`.\  / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /| 
---------------------------- _\\   \`.| -----------------------------' 
--------------. ,------------ /|\ - |:| ----------. ,------------------
 \ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ ' `    |:|  \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ 
/ / / / / / / | | / / / / / / / / / |:| / / / / / | | / / / / / / / / /
 \ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \  |:/  \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ 
/ / / / / / / | | / /  --.________,-_/  / / / / / | | / / / / / / / / /
 \ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ ```-----' \ \ \ \ \ \ \| |\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ 
/ / / / / / / | | / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / | | / / / / / / / hjm
                                                                       
o< OPEN SOURCE IS REALLY A REPTILIAN PLOT SO THAT THEY CAN GET ALL THE 
   GOVERNMENTS TO SWITCH FROM PROPRIETARY TO OPEN SOURCE SOLUTIONS SO  
   THAT THEY CAN REPLACE KEY HEADS OF STATE WITH REPTILIAN IMPOSTORS   
                                                                       
   I MEAN THIS IS JUST COMMON SENSE PEOPLE                             

#1605: CONSPIRACY DUCK: THE BERSERKER HYPOTHESIS

Sat, 2003 Nov 15

berserkers, conspiracy duck*

     .  . '    .                                                       
      '   .            . '            .                +               
              `                          '    . '                      
        .                         ,'`.                         .       
   .                  .."    _.-;'    `.              .                
              _.-"`.##%"_.--" ,'        `.           "#"     ___,,od000
           ,'"-_ _.-.--"\   ,'            `-_       '%#%',,/////00000HH
         ,'     |_.'     )`/-     __..--""`-_`-._    J L/////00000HHHHM
 . +   ,'   _.-"        / /   _-""           `-._`-_/___\///0000HHHHMMM
     .'_.-""      '    :_/_.-'                 _,`-/__V__\0000HHHHHMMMM
 . _-""                         .        '   _,////\  |  /000HHHHHMMMMM
_-"   .       '  +  .              .        ,//////0\ | /00HHHHHHHMMMMM
       `                                   ,//////000\|/00HHHHHHHMMMMMM
.             '       .  ' .   .       '  ,//////00000|00HHHHHHHHMMMMMM
     .             .    .    '           ,//////000000|00HHHHHHHMMMMMMM
                  .  '      .       .   ,///////000000|0HHHHHHHHMMMMMMM
  '             '        .    '         ///////000000000HHHHHHHHMMMMMMM
                    +  .  . '    .     ,///////000000000HHHHHHHMMMMMMMM
     '      .              '   .       ///////000000000HHHHHHHHMMMMMMMM
   '                  . '              ///////000000000HHHHHHHHMMMMMMMM
                           .   '      ,///////000000000HHHHHHHHMMMMMMMM
       +         .        '   .    .  ////////000000000HHHHHHHHMMMMMMhs
                                                                       
   o< HIDE !!!!!!!! THE BERSERKERS ARE COMING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
      THEY'VE DETECTED OUR INNOCENT RADIO SIGNALS AND ARE ON THEIR     
      WAY HERE RIGHT NOW !!!!!!!!! THEY MUST BE BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY  
      WAY I CAN THINK OF TO EXPLAIN THE FERMI PARADOX                  

#2187: CONSPIRACY DUCK: THE NEW WORD

Sun, 2005 Jun 19

conspiracy duck*, word

                   _ _.-'`-._ _                          
                  ;.'________'.;                         
       _________n.[____________].n_________              
      |""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""]             
      |"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""|             
      |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI|             
      |.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..|             
      |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI|             
   ,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,,          
  ;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;         
                                                         
o< INSTEAD OF USING THE WORDS JUNTA OR HEGEMONY          
   I'M JUST GOING TO GO HALFWAY AND CALL IT A JUNTEGEMONY

#2303: CONSPIRACY DUCK: COMMENTS

Thu, 2005 Oct 13

conspiracy duck*, logo, original

# I'M A COMMENT                                                   
                                                                  
// I'M A COMMENT TOO                                              
                                                                  
/* WE NEVER LANDED ON THE MOON */                                 
                                                                  
(* THE HOLOCAUST WAS FAKED *)                                     
                                                                  
<!-- ANAL HURTS MORE THAN FACIAL -->                              
                                                                  
REM THE GOVERNMENT IS RUN BY REPTILIAN ALIENS                     
                                                                  
' THE 9/11 ATTACKS WERE A TRICK TO TAKE AWAY OUR LIBERTIES        
                                                                  
; ALIENS CREATED THE PYRAMIDS NOT THE EGYPTIANS                   
                                                                  
~ HITLER'S CLONES ARE ALIVE AND WELL IN COLD STORAGE IN BAVARIA   
                                                                  
                                                                  
o< SEE AS A SOFTWARE ENGINEER I JUST PUT MY CONSPIRACY THEORIES IN
   COMMENTS IN THE CODE I'M WRITING AS WORK FOR HIRE !!! THAT WAY 
   THEY WILL NEVER DIE                                            
                                                                  
   BY THE WAY THE LAST COMMENT IS FOR LOGO !!!!                   
                                                                  
   REPEAT 4 [FORWARD 10 FUCK OFF]                                 

#2500: CONSPIRACY DUCK: CHICAGO PORT FIRE

Fri, 2006 Apr 28

conspiracy duck*, hulk

_____________                           o< THE CHICAGO PORT FIRE WAS    
                                           CAUSED BY THE HULK, SENT BACK
      ...____         _.-----.._           IN TIME BY THE ILLUMINATI    
                    -'    .     ``:--.                                  
                  .'.         '  '    \,      ....______a:f             
                 /       .    `  .  (* \                                
                : .  `.  :  ,)  .::../  k                               
               ) ..aaa8Y88aP/ <d888aaL_::)                              
             .'a888Y8888888b\  )  `^88: "                               
           .'.a8888)  """"   `'    d88                                  
          (a888888/                "`                                   
          `Y888PP'                                                      

#2556: CONSPIRACY DUCK: THE TUNGUSKA EVENT

Fri, 2006 Jun 23

conspiracy duck*, hulk

                      ____...                                           
             .-"--"""".__    `.                                         
            |            `    |                                         
  (         `._....------.._.:      o< TUNGUSKA WAS NO METEOR           
   . )       (   <o>  <o>    g)                                         
    )         )     /        J         I THINK WE KNOW WHO CAUSED IT    
   (          |.   /      . (                                           
   $$         (.  (_'.   , )|`         CLEARLY THE WORK OF ALIENS TRYING
   ||         |\`-....--'/  ' \        TO WARN US ABOUT THE WORLD EATER 
  /||.         \\ | | | /  /   \.                                       
 //||(\         \`-===-'  '     \o.                                     
.//7' |)         `. --   / (     OObaaaad888b.                          
(<<. / |     .a888b`.__.'d\     OO888888888888a.   OR THE HULK          
 \  Y' |    .8888888aaaa88POOOOOO888888888888888.                       
  \  \ |   .888888888888888888888888888888888888b     WHATEVER          
   |   |  .d88888P88888888888888888888888b8888888.                      
   b.--d .d88888P8888888888888888a:f888888|888888b                      
   88888b 888888|8888888888888888888888888\8888888                      

#2806: CONSPIRACY DUCK: PARTICLE PHYSICS

Wed, 2007 Feb 28

conspiracy duck*

                                       &&&                              
                                      &&   &&                           
  &&&&.                         &&&  .&&&&&                             
      &&     &&&                   &&&&&&&&&                            
 &&&&&&&&&  &         &`           &&       &&                          
      .&&&&&          &&&;        &8                                    
  .&&&:     &&        &` &      &&                                      
             8&&      &   `&   &&                                       
               &&    .&_ oO_&.-.-.                                      
                 && ( __     -/--'                                      
                  &&~ .'-__-'&         o< PARTICLE PHYSICS IS JUST A    
                   &&&~`'\`&              MASSIVE GROUPTHINK CONSPIRACY 
                     &&&~` _&                                           
                      &&&&` &&            WITH DUBYA ITS CHIEF PROPONENT
                       &&8&&&&                                          
                       &&&&&&&            (WEINBERG THAT IS)            
                   &  &&&&&&&                                           
                 &&;&&&&&&&                                             
                &&&&&&&&&&     ~~~                                      
         .~~~~~ `&&&&&&&&&    ~~~~                                      
     ~~~~~~~~~;!&&&&&&&&&&~/~~~~~~~~~                                   
  ~~~~~~~~\~~~~&/`      \`~~~~~~~~~~~~                                  
   ~~~~~~~~             `~~~~~~~~~~                                     
    ~~~~~~              ~~~~~~~                                         
    ~~~~                ~~~~                                            
                                                                        
BP                                                                      

#2811: CONSPIRACY DUCK: 9/11

Mon, 2007 Mar 5

911, conspiracy duck*, meta

         ______                                                     
         _\ _~-\___                                                 
 =  = ==(____AA____D                                                
             \_____\___________________,-~~~~~~~`-.._               
             /     o O o o o o O O o o o o o o O o  |\_             
             `~-.__        ___..----..                  )           
         Roland    `---~~\___________/------------`````             
                   =  ===(_________D                                
                                                                    
o< THERE'S A GUY WHO SENDS TYPO CORRECTIONS TO ASCII ART FARTS      
                                                                    
   HE'S BEEN DOING THIS FOR QUITE A WHILE AND AS OF TODAY HE'S      
   SENT IN A TOTAL OF 93 CORRECTIONS                                
                                                                    
   WHICH PROBABLY IS A GOOD INDICATION THAT MAYBE WE SHOULD         
   CONSIDER DRINKING A LITTLE LESS                                  
                                                                    
   BUT I'D LIKE TO IMPRESS UPON YOU, DEAR READERS, THE GREATER      
   ISSUE AT HAND THAT IS REVEALED BY THIS NUMBER                    
                                                                    
   93 ?!??!?! HELLO ?!?!?!? UNITED FLIGHT 93 ?!?!?? 9/11 ?!?!?!?!   
                                                                    
   IT PROVES THAT OUR GOVERNMENT WAS IN ON 9/11 AND SO WAS THIS GUY 
                                                                    
   WHY HE'S SENDING IN TYPOS TO US RATHER THAN DOING SOMETHING MORE 
   SINISTER FOR THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT I COULDN'T SAY         
                                                                    
   MAYBE HE'S BEEN DEMOTED ON ACCOUNT OF US SEEING THROUGH THE      
   CONSPIRACY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                                                    
   SIGNED, F*CK B*SH                                                

#4239: CONSPIRACY DUCK: THE ONION

Mon, 2011 Jan 31

conspiracy duck*, onion, topical

          ..                                                          
       c='o|\ _.-7                                                    
cwz    ,-( | | |/   o< THE MOTHERFUCKING ONION IS RIPPING OFF MY JOKES
  `-.-'  (o)-(o)                                                      

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