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#449: NEED TO KNOW BASIS

Fri, 2000 Sep 15
canada

........ ,''(());::::. , ;::::::. SO IN CANADA _|_ ___`;)::::; DO YOU STICK COINS ( 6)( 6)---,-.; IN STRIPPERS' PANTIES `-'/ `-' .|; OR WHAT |(..` -'.; ` --' ,::' ON A NEED TO KNOW ` ___. ,,'' BASIS HERE PEOPLE | | ,_/`.___,'\_, ak ,~' \/ o \/ `~.

#2054: THE SECOND AMERICAN CIVIL WAR BEGINS AND ENDS

Sun, 2005 Feb 6
canada, election 2004

__...----.. .-' `-. / .---.._ \ | | \ \ | `. | | | | _____ ` ' | | / _.-` `. \ | .'| //'''.' \ `---'_(`.||.`.`.' _.`.'''-. \ _(`'. `.`.`'.-' \\ \ \ (' .' `-._.- / \\ \ | ('./ `-._ .-| \\ || ('.\ | | 0') ('0 __.--. \`----'/ _.--('..| `-- .' .-. `. `--..' _..--..._ _.-' ('.:| . / ` 0 ` \ .' .-' `..' | / .^. | / .' \ ' . `._ .'| `. \`...____.----._.' .'.'| . \ | |_||_||__| // \ | _.-'| |_ `. \ || | | /\ \_| _ _ | || | /. . ' `.`.| || || || / ' ' | . | `.`---'/ .' `. | .' .'`. \ .' / `...' .' \ \ .'.' `---\ '.-' | )/\ / /)/ .| \ `. `.\ \ )/ \( / \ | \ | `. `-. )/ ) | | __ \ \.-` \ | /| ) .-. //' `-| \ _ / / _| | `-'.-.\ || `. )_.--' ) \ '-. / '| ''.__.-`\ | / `-\ '._|--' \ `. \ _\ / `---. LGB /.--` \ \ .''''\ `._..._| `-.' .-. | '_.'-./.' FUCK THIS ELECTION !!!!!! LET'S SECEDE FROM THE UNION BECAUSE WHAT DEMOCRACY MEANS TO ME IS I ALWAYS GET MY WAY OR FUCK IT WHAT DO YOU MEAN CANADA WON'T HAVE US OH WELL I'M GOING TO STARBUCKS

#2074: O, CANADA

Sat, 2005 Feb 26
canada

,,==="""""""===,, WHY DOES THE .CA TOP LEVEL DOMAIN ,==""' |\ | /\ `""==, HAVE TO STAND FOR CANADA ,="'|\ | \| /__\ /\ `"=, WHY CAN'T IT STAND FOR /" |,"\ | | /' `\ / ) "\ CALIFORNIA OR WASHINGTON /" ," | `\/ /| "\ OR RHODE ISLAND OR /' | , /",| `\ THE FEDERATED STATES /' ",/" | `\ OF MICRONESIA OR SOME /' I=I=I ,d8ba,___ `\ MORE IMPORTANT PLACE /' I=8=8=8=I_I_ 88888P""" `\ | xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxIxx ,888" | | ~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~-~-~-~-~ d888~-~-~-~-~-~-~ | | ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-,aad888ba,8888,-~-~-~-~-~-~ | | ~-~-~-~-~-~-,ad888888888888888b-~-~-~-~-~-~ | \ ~-~-~-~-~,ad8888888888888888888-~-~-~-~-~-~ / `\ -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- /' `\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,-,~~~~~ /' `\ /"\ 1 9 9 4 \ /\ /' `\ "\,/' |\ `\ ` /' "\ /""\ | | |,'\ /" `"=,_ \__/ |__ |__ | ,="' NV `""=,__ __,=""' ``""=========""''

#2173: QUICK TIP

Sun, 2005 Jun 5
canada, french, quebec

|> |> HERE'S A HANDY QUICK TIP FOLKS |_____| /\|/\|/\\ WHENEVER YOU RECEIVE EMAIL FROM SOMEONE __/ L L L L \/\ ALWAYS CHECK THE DOMAIN NAME IN REVERSE //\\ L L L L L | ORDER !!!! | L | L L L L L | |> |> __| L | L L L L L | |__ | / L \L | L L L L L |__/\|/\ /\_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ L L \ IF YOU SEE: | L | L L L L L L L L L L |L L L | /\ | L | L L L L L L L L L L |L L L |__|| CA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ||___________ PRECEDED BY Rc________|| // L L L / L L L //\\ // L L L / QC L L L // \\ // L L L / _______// /\ \\ ||__________| -------|| [] || || [] [] [] | L L L || || || | THEN YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND DELETE IT =======|| || [] [] [] | WITHOUT READING IT BECAUSE IT'S ///////|| || | JUST THOSE FUCKING QUEBECOIS FAGGOTS [] [] || || [] [] [] |

#2468: QUEBEC

Mon, 2006 Mar 27
canada, quebec

_ (_) |______________________________________ |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| QUEBEC IS LIKE |&&&&&&& .\^/. &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& . |&&&| . &&&&&&&| THE CANADA |&&&&&&& |\|&&&|/| &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& .--'&&&&&&&'--. &&&&&&&| OF CANADA |&&&&&&& \&&&&&&&&&&&/ &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& >&&&&&&&&&< &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& '~|/~~|~~\|~' &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& | &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&&________________________&&JGS&&| |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#2472: CANADIAN EXTRADITION LAW

Fri, 2006 Mar 31
canada, topical

_ (_) |______________________________________ |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& .\^/. &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& . |&&&| . &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& |\|&&&|/| &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& .--'&&&&&&&'--. &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& \&&&&&&&&&&&/ &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& >&&&&&&&&&< &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& '~|/~~|~~\|~' &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& | &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&&________________________&&JGS&&| |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WE PROMISE NOT TO EXECUTE HIM IF YOU EXTRADITE HIM !!!!!!! LOL THANKS PSYCH WE'RE GOING TO KILL HIM ANYWAY (DUMBASSES) LOOK MAYBE IF YOUR PUBLIC POLICY WEREN'T SO GIRLY AND RETARDED WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO TRICK YOU

#2886: CANADIAN ACTORS

Sat, 2007 May 19
canada

,,==="""""""===,, OKAY ,==""' |\ | /\ `""==, CAN WE STOP IMPORTING ,="'|\ | \| /__\ /\ `"=, CANADIAN ACTORS /" |,"\ | | /' `\ / ) "\ /" ," | `\/ /| "\ I MEAN DO WE REALLY NOT /' | , /",| `\ HAVE ENOUGH ACTORS HERE /' ",/" | `\ /' I=I=I ,d8ba,___ `\ /' I=8=8=8=I_I_ 88888P""" `\ | xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxIxx ,888" | | ~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~-~-~-~-~ d888~-~-~-~-~-~-~ | | ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-,aad888ba,8888,-~-~-~-~-~-~ | | ~-~-~-~-~-~-,ad888888888888888b-~-~-~-~-~-~ | \ ~-~-~-~-~,ad8888888888888888888-~-~-~-~-~-~ / `\ -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- /' `\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,-,~~~~~ /' `\ /"\ 1 9 9 4 \ /\ /' `\ "\,/' |\ `\ ` /' "\ /""\ | | |,'\ /" OR AT THE VERY LEAST COULD `"=,_ \__/ |__ |__ | ,="' CANADIANS LEARN TO DO MORE `""=,__ __,=""' CONVINCING AMERICAN ACCENTS NV ``""=========""''

#2940: GAY MOOSE

Thu, 2007 Jul 12
canada, newsgroup

.-. .-. / | | \ ; ; _ _ ; ; | / ,' | ; `. \ | ; '-' / _ \ `-' | \ (_.' | .-. \ ; `. | | `-' / `._ \ _ | .' ,-''-. `.-/` `\.-.-' _.-` ,' `'--' oo ._).__..-' | O O ; ; _ | <\ \ / / _\ `. .' | WATCH OUT THE GAY CANADA MOOSE ,'"`\ `-.___.-' \ \ IS GOING TO HOLD YOU DOWN AND / \ ; '. MAKE YOU DRINK MOLSON BEER ,-' `. / `. __/ `, `. ; | \ /` , \ '\ ; | ; ; ,'| ,_|\_.; \ __\ | '. _\ |`. _/ ; _\ ,_7 ; ,-' '\ __\ _,-'"` _.' \ `. \ >_,|\ |/ /_ \"` _,.-' ; `. \ ` .-'--------`/ |.-'` \_---------mx- | `. / '-' `/`_\ | |,-' \> |/ ` `. _/ \ / ;

#3077: CANADIAN BACON

Mon, 2007 Nov 26
canada

__ _.._ .-'__`-._.'.--.'.__., LET'S HEAR IT FOR CANADIAN BACON /--' '-._.' '-._./ /__.--._.--._.'``-.__/ YET ANOTHER PERFECTLY GOOD THING THOSE '._.-'-._.-._.-''-..' DIPSHIT CANADIANS MANAGED TO FUCK UP COMPLETELY jgs

#3490: 24 SEASON 7

Mon, 2009 Jan 12
24, canada

.=. "|||" JACK BAUER'S PRETTY TOUGH _.===._ _ .-".' '."-. (_) ." ." ". ". FOR A CANADIAN _ | _ |+-+-------+-+| _(_)\ | /(_)_ + |---+-------+---| + (_)---| |---(_) _="=_ :|||:|_|_|_|:|||: _="=_ |_|_| |:::| | | \|/ | | |:::| | | | ... |_|...-=) + (=-...|_| ... | | | \_._._._._| ||| | o . o . o . o . o | ||| |_._._._._/ | | | _ _ | _ | _ _ _ _ _ | _ | _ _ | | | ._._._.| |.| |.| | |.| ||.| |.| |.| |.| |.|| |.| | |.| |.| |_._.| |. _ | __ | _ |-------------------| _ | __ | _ | | | | | | | | | | | :: .-"""-. :: | | | | | | | | || || |.| | |..| | |.| | | .-"-. | | |.| | |..| | |.|| || : | | .-. | | | | .-. | | ' | | : : |_|_|_| |_|_|_| : : | | _/=============\_ | |

FART BACK
WHAT'S YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION, JERKOFF?

CHAT #AAF @ EFnet on IRC

FOLLOW ^NEW! Conspiracy Duck @ Twitter

TOYS

pick a strip at random
view the best of ASCII Art Farts
get just the current strip in text format
get the current strip and info in text format
get all strips in fortune format (run strfile fortune.txt fortune.txt.dat then fortune fortune.txt)
get a list of all strip dates
get an RSS feed
get an XML dump (gzip compressed)
see the list of quotes ^NEW!

FACTOIDS

number of strips: 3921
first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (10.7 years ago)
number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Fri, 2010 Mar 19) ^NEW!

MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark

MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery

FART BACK	WHAT'S YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION, JERKOFF?
CHAT	#AAF @ EFnet on IRC
FOLLOW ^NEW!	Conspiracy Duck @ Twitter
TOYS	pick a strip at random view the best of ASCII Art Farts get just the current strip in text format get the current strip and info in text format get all strips in fortune format (run `strfile fortune.txt fortune.txt.dat` then `fortune fortune.txt`) get a list of all strip dates get an RSS feed get an XML dump (gzip compressed) see the list of quotes ^NEW!
FACTOIDS	number of strips: 3921 first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (10.7 years ago) number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Fri, 2010 Mar 19) *^NEW!*
MORE STUFF	Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART	Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery