> HOME
> CURRENT
> RANDOM
> BEST OF
> RSS FEED
> CONTACT
    _    ____   ____ ___ ___      _         _     _____          _       
   / \  / ___| / ___|_ _|_ _|    / \   _ __| |_  |  ___|_ _ _ __| |_ ___ 
  / _ \ \___ \| |    | | | |    / _ \ | '__| __| | |_ / _` | '__| __/ __|
 / ___ \ ___) | |___ | | | |   / ___ \| |  | |_  |  _| (_| | |  | |_\__ \
/_/   \_\____/ \____|___|___| /_/   \_\_|   \__| |_|  \__,_|_|   \__|___/
"SOMETIMES I'M AT HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT BECAUSE MY 'FRIENDS' DON'T 'LIKE ME' AND 'DON'T WANT ME ANYWHERE AROUND THEM'"
BY NUMBER <
BY TITLE <
BY DATE <
BY DAY <
BY CALENDAR <
BY KEYWORD <

2010 (6)
24 (8)
911 (30)
aaliyah (7)
adventure (3)
al franken (2)
al gore (2)
al qaeda (2)
alice cooper (2)
alien (4)
aliens colonial marines (2)
all you have (3)
allegra (2)
am i right (17)
amazon (2)
anal* (5)
android (2)
anger* (5)
anime (18)
anna nicole smith (3)
annie ascii (6)
answer bear* (3)
apollo (11)
apple (8)
aquatic* (5)
aria giovanni (4)
asia carrera (2)
asperger (19)
atari (4)
aurora jolie (2)
australia (3)
babylon 5 (3)
bailout (4)
battlefield (16)
battlestar galactica (8)
bbc (2)
beatles (2)
bejeweled (2)
berserkers (2)
best of (33)
best part (12)
beyonce (2)
bible (2)
bionic woman (2)
blank (3)
blog (52)
bob marley (2)
bobby brown (4)
bolo santosi (2)
boner* (3)
bravo (8)
brazil (4)
bright (2)
british (2)
britney spears (3)
brokeback mountain (2)
bush (6)
call of duty (7)
calvin (2)
camgirl (9)
canada (12)
carl sagan (2)
cassini (3)
census (2)
chalkboard (2)
chaps* (3)
charlie sheen (2)
cheers (2)
christmas (15)
clam* (3)
cold war (4)
communism (3)
confessions* (13)
conspiracy duck* (11)
contact (2)
cosby show (4)
cosmos (3)
counter-strike (3)
creampie (3)
critic (4)
crucicaption (6)
crysis (6)
daylight savings (2)
dean (32)
defcon (3)
derek smart (4)
desirae (2)
deus ex (3)
diabetes (4)
dickwolves (3)
die hard (4)
dilbert (6)
disney (25)
doctor who (3)
dont hate me (2)
doom (9)
dot (2)
douglas adams (2)
down syndrome (4)
dr. dre (2)
dr. who (2)
duke nukem (3)
dune (4)
eaten* (2)
einstein (2)
election 2004 (7)
election 2008 (33)
election 2010 (2)
election 2012 (9)
ellen degeneres (2)
er (2)
escher (2)
esperanto (2)
eve online (2)
everybody loves raymond (3)
facebook (9)
family guy (3)
far cry (2)
fear (2)
figlet (37)
filk (2)
flea* (5)
flintstones (3)
football (2)
fred friendly (3)
freespace (6)
french (12)
fresh air (2)
friends (3)
funyuns (2)
garfield (5)
geography (7)
german (24)
gianna michaels (4)
gloria steinem (2)
gnutella (2)
god help me (2)
google (5)
grand theft auto (10)
gun free zones (2)
haiku (9)
haiti (4)
half-life (10)
halloween (2)
halo (4)
ham (2)
hamas (2)
hangin with jesus* (5)
harry potter (4)
harvey milk (2)
henry* (5)
hershey* (3)
hillary clinton (2)
hippies (7)
hitler (2)
hulk (3)
hurricane (7)
ice cube (3)
id software (2)
ideograms (4)
immigration (4)
inconsolable (2)
india (2)
infocom (3)
intelligent design (3)
iphone (3)
iran (5)
iraq (17)
isaac newton (3)
islam (28)
israel (3)
james burke (2)
jasmin st. claire (2)
jave (8)
jeopardy (3)
jerkcity (2)
jesus (19)
jewish (2)
jimmy carter (3)
jody watley (2)
john f. kennedy (5)
john travolta (2)
jon stewart (3)
joseph kony (2)
jupiter (2)
just cause (3)
kari byron (2)
katamari (3)
kelis (2)
kilroy (2)
kindle (4)
kirara (3)
kirstie alley (3)
kiwi (3)
korean (3)
lady diana (2)
lady gaga (2)
latin (2)
law and order (10)
left 4 dead (3)
left eye (4)
linux (6)
logo (16)
lord of the rings (4)
lost (2)
lottery (2)
lucy lee (2)
lyrics (23)
macintosh (6)
marilyn manson (3)
mariska hargitay (2)
mash (5)
mass effect (8)
math (4)
matrix (5)
me neither (4)
mel gibson (3)
meme (5)
memento (2)
meta (2)
michael jackson (9)
michael moore (5)
michelin (2)
midori (2)
milf (4)
minecraft (4)
minotaur* (2)
monads (2)
mormon (2)
msnbc (2)
muppets (4)
myfreecams (6)
mythbusters (2)
nabis (2)
napster (3)
nasa (8)
nazi (12)
nerd boy (9)
net neutrality (2)
nethack (4)
newsgroup (47)
newsradio (2)
niven (2)
nobel prize (4)
north korea (3)
npr (4)
obama (12)
oceans thirteen (2)
oj simpson (2)
okcupid (2)
olympics (3)
onion (3)
open source (10)
original (56)
orkut (2)
osama bin laden (6)
p2p (4)
pac-man (6)
pajamas media (4)
panther (4)
particle (2)
patriot act (2)
peanuts (15)
pearl harbor (3)
penn and teller (2)
penny arcade (2)
perl (2)
perspective (6)
petition (7)
playstation (2)
please shut up* (2)
plonk (5)
pluto (6)
poem (4)
pokemon (6)
poker (13)
polyamory (3)
pooh (8)
porn (46)
pornstar (66)
portal (7)
powerpuff (2)
proposal (2)
python (2)
quake (8)
quebec (2)
queer eye (3)
r. kelly (3)
rage (2)
rape rays* (3)
red bull (3)
red dwarf (2)
rent (2)
richard stallman (2)
rihanna (3)
roger ebert (7)
roman polanski (2)
ron paul (4)
russian (2)
safe word (3)
sanrio (4)
sarah silverman (2)
saturday night live (3)
saving grace (2)
science fact (3)
scrubs (4)
seaquest (2)
second life (2)
seinfeld (2)
sesame (7)
sesame street (3)
shakespeare (3)
shield (3)
shitting* (3)
shutdown (2)
simple (20)
simpsons (8)
skeptic (3)
skull (2)
slashdot (4)
smurfs (3)
soccer (6)
south park (4)
space shuttle (5)
special (2)
spice girls (4)
spongebob (2)
spore (2)
squirtle (2)
star trek (35)
star wars (20)
starcraft (4)
starship troopers (2)
steve jobs (2)
strike (2)
super bowl (3)
sweden (2)
swine flu (3)
tattoo (9)
tax (6)
ted (6)
ted kennedy (3)
tensor (3)
terry gross (2)
tetris (2)
thanksgiving (3)
they might be giants (2)
third rock (2)
tina fey (2)
tlc (3)
togos (2)
tomb raider (4)
tools* (2)
topical (215)
transsexual (2)
transvestite (3)
treo (3)
trilogy* (2)
true story (3)
truther (2)
tsunami (5)
twitter (12)
u2 (3)
understatement (5)
usenet (9)
ussr (4)
uwe boll (2)
vanessa del rio (2)
vectrex (2)
vegan (2)
west wing (12)
wiccan* (10)
wii (2)
wiki (2)
wikileaks (2)
wikipedia (38)
will.i.am (2)
windows (5)
wishful thinking (8)
witchblade (3)
wolfenstein (5)
woody allen (3)
word (113)
world cup (3)
world of warcraft (2)
world war ii (5)
wwjd (3)
wyclef jean (2)
x-men (2)
xbox (2)
xkcd (2)
youtube (8)
zombie* (7)
zynga (2)

#248: MICHAEL JACKSON

Sun, 2000 Feb 27

michael jackson

   ARGLE BARGLE                     ___-------___                        
I'M MICHAEL JACKSON             _-~~             ~~-_                    
                             _-~                    /~-_                 
          /^\__/^\         /~  \                   /    \                
        /|  O|| O|        /      \_______________/        \              
       | |___||__|      /       /                \          \            
       |          \    /      /                    \          \          
       |   (_______) /______/                        \_________ \        
       |         / /         \                      /            \       
        \         \^\\         \                  /               \     /
          \         ||           \______________/      _-_       //\__// 
            \       ||------_-~~-_ ------------- \ --/~   ~\    || __/   
              ~-----||====/~     |==================|       |/~~~~~      
               (_(__/  ./     /                    \_\      \.           
                      (_(___/                         \_____)_)-jurcy    

#1637: WACKO JACKO

Wed, 2003 Dec 17

michael jackson

   ____________        BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND             
  /\          /\                                            
 /  \        /  \      THE WORD "WACKO" RHYMES WITH "JACKO" 
/____\______/    \                                          
\    /      \    /     BY LAW "JACKO GOES WACKO" IS REQUIRED
 \  /        \  /                                           
  \/__________\/       AMERICA LIKES THINGS THAT RHYME      

#1695: WACKO JACKO II

Fri, 2004 Feb 13

michael jackson

                      ,'''''-._                               
                     ;  ,.  <> `-._   MICHAEL JACKSON MOLESTED
                     ;  \'   _,--'"    ME TOO                 
                    ;      (                                  
                    ; ,   ` \                                 
                    ;, ,     \                                
                   ;    |    |                                
                   ; |, |    |\                               
                  ;  |  |    | \                              
                  |.-\ ,\    |\ :                             
                  |.- `. `-. | ||                             
                  :.-   `-. \ ';;                             
                   .- ,   \;;|                                
                   ;   ,  |  ,\                               
                   ; ,    ;    \                              
                  ;    , /`.  , )                             
               __,;,   ,'   \  ,|                             
         _,--''__,|   /      \  :                             
       ,'_,-''    | ,/        | :                             
      / /         | ;         ; |                             
     | |      __,-| |--..__,--| |---.--....___                
___,-| |----''    / |         `._`-.          `----           
      \ \        `"""             """      --                 
       `.`.                 --'                               
 jrei    `.`-._        _,             ,-     __,-             
            `-.`.                                             
   --'         `;                                             

#2050: POOR MICHAEL JACKSON

Wed, 2005 Feb 2

michael jackson

  ;                                                   
   :                                                  
   :                                                  
   :                                                  
   :-.                                                
   '  '.  ___                                         
     .. '/   \                                        
\      ' '.  :\                                       
 :         '.: \   POOR MICHAEL JACKSON               
 :           :  :                                     
  \          :  :                                     
   \        /    :                                    
  .''.     /     :  I MEAN HOW CAN HE CONTINUE HIS    
  :   '...'      :   LIFE'S WORK OF RAPING CHILDREN   
  '.__.-'         \   IF THE POLICE KEEP BOTHERING HIM
    '._            :                                  
       '--.__      :                                  
             ':--  '.                                 
             .'\'   :                                 
            /    .  :                                 
           / . .'   ;                                 
      _..-' L  :   :                                  
     :__.--' \ :   :                                  
            .'\:  /                                   
            '-': /\                                   
   [WILU]      : : :                                  
               : : :                                  
               : : :                                  
              /  / :                                  
             /  /: :                                  
             '.' : :                                  
                 ''                                   

#2182: WANTED: GEORGE LUCAS

Tue, 2005 Jun 14

michael jackson, star wars

               _,.---.,_                                        
            _,'         ',_    NOW THAT MICHAEL JACKSON GOT FREE
         ,-' ',         ,' '-,   CAN WE ARREST GEORGE LUCAS FOR 
      ,-''-,   \       /   ,-''-,   MOLESTING MY INNER CHILD    
    ,''-._  `.  ;     ;  .`  _.-''.                             
  ,'      '.  \  [   ]  /  .'      '.                           
 /---..,_   '. \ ;   ; / .'   _,..---\                          
|        `'-. '.\ [ ] /.' .-'`        |                         
\..,,__      `-,\\; ;//,-`      __,,../                         
 `'-,._''--..,,_;\, ,/;_,,..--''_,.-'`                          
       `'-.,_    `'-'`    _,.-'`                                
             `'-.     .-'`                                      
    sk           '._.'                                          

#2417: A FAST CAR AND OUR PUNCHING FISTS

Sat, 2006 Feb 4

michael jackson

       _____                                              
     _/  /  \_                                            
   _/   /     \_                                          
  /    /        \        HELLO ??? WHAT ???? SPEAK UP !!!!
  \_____________/                                         
      |O   O|            RAPING DIDO ???                  
      \     /                                             
     @@\ - /@@           WE'LL NEED A FAST CAR AND        
   /@@@@\_/@@@@\\        OUR PUNCHING FISTS               
  /@@@@@@@@@@@@@ \                                        
 / /@@@@@@@@@@@@ _\      WAIT MICHAEL JACKSON LIVES       
/ /@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ \\     CLOSER                           
|______ @@@@@@@@@  \\                                     
  @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@   @@   CHECKLIST REMAINS THE SAME       
   @@@@@@@@@@@@@         BUT THE CAR CAN BE AN ESCORT     
   @@@@@@@@@@@@@         OR SOME SHIT (HE AIN'T CALLIN'   
    @@@@@@@@@@@          NO 911 FROM NEVERLAND)           
      || @  ||                                            
      ~~    ~~                                            

#2451: A PLEA FOR MERCY -- OH RIGHT

Fri, 2006 Mar 10

michael jackson

         ,==.              |~~~                             
        /  66\             |                                
        \c  -_)         |~~~    WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LEAVE 
         `) (           |       MICHAEL JACKSON ALONE ?!?!?!
         /   \       |~~~                                   
        /   \ \      |      OH RIGHT BECAUSE HE'S LOOSE     
       ((   /\ \_ |~~~      ON THE STREET RAPING CHILDREN   
        \\  \ `--`|                                         
        / / /  |~~~                                         
jgs___ (_(___)_|                                            

#2583: A BOTTLE OF JESUS JUICE

Thu, 2006 Jul 20

michael jackson

   \\\|||///        HEY KIDS                         
    =======         LISTEN UP AND LISTEN GOOD        
/ \| O   O |                                         
\ /  \v_'/          I'LL TRADE YOU A BOTTLE OF       
 #   _| |_          JESUS JUICE FOR A MOUSTACHE      
(#) (     )         RIDE AT THE NEVERLAND RANCH      
 #\//|* *|\\                                         
 #\/(  *  )/        FIVE BUCKS TO GO AROUND THE WORLD
 #   =====                                           
 #   (\ /)          THIS IS HOW MY CREW ROLLS        
 #   || ||                                           
 #---'| |----.      SORRY NO GREEK OR GFE            
 #----' -----'                                       

#3655: NEW KING OF POP

Fri, 2009 Jun 26

michael jackson, topical

                                    o                                     
                                   $""$o                                  
              ALL HAIL PRINCE     $"  $$     THE NEW KING OF POP          
                                   $$$$                                   
                                   o "$o                                  
                                  o"  "$                                  
             oo"$$$"  oo$"$ooo   o$    "$    ooo"$oo  $$$"o               
o o o o    oo"  o"      "o    $$o$"     o o$""  o$      "$  "oo   o o o o 
"$o   ""$$$"   $$         $      "   o   ""    o"         $   "o$$"    o$$
  ""o       o  $          $"       $$$$$       o          $  ooo     o""  
     "o   $$$$o $o       o$        $$$$$"       $o        " $$$$   o"     
      ""o $$$$o  oo o  o$"         $$$$$"        "o o o o"  "$$$  $       
        "" "$"     """""            ""$"            """      """ "        
         "oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo$         
          "$$$$"$$$$" $$$$$$$"$$$$$$ " "$$$$$"$$$$$$"  $$$""$$$$          
           $$$oo$$$$   $$$$$$o$$$$$$o" $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ o$$$$o$$$"          
           $"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""$          
           $"                                                  o          
        BH $"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$"$$           

FART BACK
IS THIS ALL THERE IS?
CHAT#AAF @ EFnet on IRC
FOLLOW NEW!Conspiracy Duck @ Twitter
TOYS
FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Tue, 2023 Feb 21)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe