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#124: PUT PORN ON ME

Tue, 1999 Oct 26

porn

    YOU CAN PUT PORN ON ME JUST AS EASILY AS MUSIC       
        NEVER FUCKING FORGET THAT YOU FAGGOT             
                                                         
                     :+""  ~<<::""+:                     
                +Xi<<<<!<  `<<!?!<<<HMti%L               
            :?HMMMM:<<<!<~ <<<!X<<<!MM88MMh?x            
          !HMRMMRMMM:<<<!< <<<!!<<<MR88MRMMRMH?.         
        ?NMMMMMMMMMMM<<<?<  <<!!<<XM88RMMMMMMMMM?        
      !88888MMMMMMRMMk<<!!  <<H!<<M88MRMMRMMMRMMRM!      
     <M8888888MMMMMMMM:<<!  <<H<<488RMMMMMMMMMMMMMM>:    
   xHMRMMR888888RMMMMMM<<!< <!!<<988RMMMRMMRMMMMM?!<<%   
  :XMMMMMMMM88888MMMMMMH<<~ ~~~<X8RMMMMMMMMMMM!!<~    k  
  <<<!MMRMMRMMR8888MMP.n~       #R.#MMRMMRM?<~~   .nMMh. 
 !MMH:<<<!*MMMMMMM8Pu! n"       "+ "h!MM!!~   :@MMMMMMM/ 
.HMRMMRMMMH:<<"*RM M @             * "   .nMMMMMMMRMMRMMk
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMx < "      .u.        4'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM9
!RMMRMMMRMMRMMMMMX M     @P   #8     4 MMRMMMRMMRMMMMMMR<
!MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM !    '8     8!    ' MtMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
kMMRMMRMMRMMMRMMR4 H     #8.  @8     H MMMMRMMMMMMRMMRMM!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM>M         "`      .~i <!?MMMMMMMMMMMMM9
'9MMRMMMRMMRMMP!   : %             H @ 8NRMHx<<<!!MMMMMR!
 >MMMMMMMMM"   <<HMk!i *u       .* x*xR88888MMMMHi<<<<~< 
  !RMM#~   :<:MMRMMMMH.*n:      :*.HRMMMRM8888888MRMMM!  
  !     <<:tMMMMMMMMMM8RM<::: :<<XMMMMMMMMMR88888888MM!  
   ~ <<<XHMRMMMMMMRMM8RM<<<<< `!<<MRMMRMMRMMMRR888888#   
     :HMMMMMMMMMMMM988MM<<X!<~'~<<<MMMMMMMMMMMMMR88#!    
      ~MMRMMMRMMRMM88MM<<<?<<  <<<<!RMMMRMMRMMMMMM!      
        xMMMMMMMM988MM%<<<?<<: <!<<<?MMMMMMMMMMMX        
          !?MMMM@88MMR<<<<!<<<  <:<<<MRMMRMMMP!          
            "X*988RMM!<<<?!<<~  <!<<<<MMMMM?"            
                !X*MM<<<<H!<<`  <?<<<<<)!                
                     "+:uX!<<< .::+""      BA            

#732: VIEW PORN

Mon, 2001 Jun 25

porn

         ___________                
        /          /|               
       /__________/ |               
      |.---------.| |   YOU CAN VIEW
      ||         || |   PORN ON ME  
      ||         || |               
      ||         || |               
      |'---------'|/                
       `)__ _____(']                
       [=== -- o ]/--.              
     __'---------'__  \             
jgs [::::::::::: :::]  )            
     `""'"""""'""""` /T\            
                     \_/            

#1615: BORING PORN

Tue, 2003 Nov 25

porn

IF POSTING BORING PORN WERE ILLEGAL  .@@@@@,  
99% OF YOU FUCKERS WOULD BE LOCKED   @@@@@@@@,
AWAY FOR LIFE                        aa`@@@@@@
                                    (_   ?@@@@
                                     =' @@@@" 
                                     \ (```   
                                    //`\      
                                   / | ||     
                                   \ | ||     
                                   / | ||     
                                  /  |_|\     
                                 |   |_| \    
                                  \  (((  |   
                                   `\     |   
                                     |____|   
                                      | ||    
                                      | ||    
                                      | ||    
                                      /~))    
                                     /_/YY    
                               jgs            

#1727: THE PORN CLAM ON: ANAL SEX

Tue, 2004 Mar 16

clam*, porn

              IT SURE SEEMS LIKE WHEN PORNSTARS ARE TAKING
              IT UP THE ASS THAT THEY DON'T REALLY LIKE IT
              REGARDLESS OF WHAT THEY MIGHT SAY ON THE    
              MATTER                                      
                                                          
                        /                                 
       _.--"":""--._   /                                  
     .' .-'.' '.'-. '.                                    
    / .' /   '   \ '. \                                   
   ;-.__.--:__:--.__.--;                                  
   ;-.__.--.__.--.__.--;                                  
    \'. \  :  :  / .' /                                   
     '.\ '. '. .' / .'                                    
jgs    `'--.:.:.--'`                                      

#1748: PORN BLOOPERS

Tue, 2004 Apr 6

porn

  _____________                                                
 / ___________ \    WHO EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE COSMOS HAS  
| /           \ |   EVER EVEN HAD THE REMOTEST PASSING INTEREST
| \___________/\|   IN WATCHING GODDAMN PORN BLOOPERS          
 \KCK__________/                                               

#1880: A PORN STAR'S DIGNITY

Mon, 2004 Aug 16

porn

      .-.                                                      
     (/^\)    I MAY CHOKE MYSELF ON THIS COCK UNTIL I          
     (\ /)     THROW UP BUT I WON'T SWALLOW THE JIZZ BECAUSE   
     .-'-.      AT LEAST I HAVE SOME DIGNITY                   
    /(_I_)\                                                    
    \\) (//   SPIT ON MY FACE ?!?!?!?!? FINE                   
     /   \                                                     
     \ | /      JIZZ UP MY FACE ?!?!?!? A-OKAY                 
      \|/                                                      
      /|\         BUT SWALLOW YOUR SPURT ?!??!!? NOW WAY MISTER
      \|/          I HAVE CLASS                                
jgs   /Y\                                                      

#1959: DEAR PORNOGRAPHERS

Wed, 2004 Nov 3

porn

                                        _________                    .
       _____  _______________________,-" ________\_________________.'|
       |   ,`'-------------------------,"                |       | | |
  _,--.`--"-----------.--------------""                  |       | | |
 |#|==|       |       |              `-._____________    |       | | |
 |#|==|       |       |                  _  _ _  _ _ `.  |       | | |
 |#|==|     __|       |                 '-.: ;|\| V    \_|_______,'`.|
 |#|==|    |--| _  _  | ##== O          `"  " ' ' '     \     |      `
 |#|==|    |[]|:_;: : |                                  \    |       
 |#|==|    |--|:_;:_;X|---------_________________________|    |       
 |#|==|    |__| ......|________|/     DigitalHandycam    |    |       
 |#|==|       |       |        '                         |    |       
 |#|==|       |       |        |    .----------------.   |    |       
 |#|==|       |       |   .----|    | ,,,,,,,,,,,.   |   |    |       
   `--'--------.""""""|   |    |    | ############   |   |    |       
        _;-----"-----'|   |    |    |________________|   |    |       
       :::  ,.        |   |____|    Digital8  .........  |    |       
       :::  ||        `        \\                        |    |       
       :::  ||         \________\\_______________________;____;       
       `::  "'  ==                                       ;            
          `.____________________________________________;    Bob_R    
                                                                      
                                                                      
DEAR PRODUCERS OF BIG NATURALS, CUMFIESTA, AND ALL THAT OTHER SHIT:   
                                                                      
  PLEASE CEASE AND DESIST YOUR RUNNING COMMENTARY ABOUT THE GUY YOU   
  KNOW POUNDING THE STUPID WHORE YOU PAID                             
                                                                      
  WE'RE ALL AWARE OF WHAT'S GOING ON WE HAVE EYES AND RIGHT HANDS     
                                                                      
  YOU THINK YOU'RE REALLY CLEVER BUT WHY HAVE YOU NOT REALIZED THAT   
  YOU ARE LIKE KRYPTONITE TO A BONER                                  

#1968: AMATEUR PORNOGRAPHY TIP

Fri, 2004 Nov 12

porn

     ___ ____   ________                                        
   ,"_ ,`==='`.'__....__`--.                                    
 ,',' |      ,o@@@@@@@@@@o. \                                   
, /___|     d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@b \   ADVICE TO AMATEUR PORNOGRAPHERS
||   "|    d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@b|   EVERYWHERE:                    
|| ()||   ,@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@:                                  
|| , ||   @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@   GUY HOLDING THE CAMERA,        
||(|)||   '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@//D   SHUT THE FUCK UP               
|| ' ||    '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/@P                                   
|| , ||     `@@@@@@@@@@@@/@'|                                   
||(|)|| CCD   `@@@@@@@@@@'  |                                   
|| ' | '----------'"""""_,  |                                   
|| , |`.    S O N Y   |     |                                   
:|(|)| |              |     |                                   
`|  '| ::............::     ,                                   
 |\__| ::::::::::::::::----"                                    
 :     '::::::::::::::'                                         
  \                 ;   Bob_R                                   
   `---------------"                                            

#2305: CHAMPAGNE SUPERNOVA

Sat, 2005 Oct 15

british, p2p, porn

 .-.                ,                                                     
`._ ,                           LOOK I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING         
   \ \                 o         AGAINST OASIS OR CHAMPAGNE SUPERNOVA     
    \ `-,.                        (IN FACT I'VE NEVER HEARD IT OR ANYTHING
   .'o .  `.[]           o         BY THEM)                               
<~- - , ,[].'.[] ~>     ___                                               
 :               :     (-~.)    BUT SO HELP ME GOD IF THAT SONG TITLE     
  `             '       `|'      KEEPS INTERFERING WITH MY P2P SEARCHES   
   `           '         |        FOR BLACK PORN STARS I'M DECLARING WAR  
    `-.     .-'          |         ON BRITAIN                             
-----{. _ _ .}-------------------                                         

#2552: STRIPPER ADVICE

Mon, 2006 Jun 19

porn

         .oo.                                                  
        HHHHHb.                                                
       /`HHHHHHb    TO ALL STRIPPERS EVERYWHERE: FAST AND      
       > `dHHHHH     ERRATIC MOVEMENTS ARE DISTRACTING OR      
      /  dHHHHHHb     CONFUSING AND NOT SEXY                   
      :  HHHHHHHH                                              
     .-""FHHHHHHH   ALSO IF YOU COULD MANAGE TO PRETEND FOR    
     |   JHHHHHHH    A MOMENT THAT YOU'RE MOVING WITH THE      
     J    FHHHHHHb    RHYTHM OF THE MUSIC THAT'S A PLUS        
    + \   JHHHHHHH     (YES I'M TALKING TO YOU CHRISTINA MODEL)
  .'   \   FHHHHHH+_                                           
  `. ;  \   \HHHHF "+   IN ADDITION A GRIMACE LIKE YOU'RE BEING
    `|  _>   \HHF+_  \   ELECTROCUTED IS ALSO NOT ACCEPTABLE   
     F_+"   .'J   |  j                                         
    J+"   .': F   |  j  LOOK LADY MAKE PRETEND YOU'RE ENJOYING 
  _+"  _+'  : +_  |  F   IT OR AT LEAST NOT HOPPED UP ON CRANK 
 %" .-'       . =.F j     FOR TEN SECONDS HERE                 
|  ;I          \  =./                                          
|  (`-.......___+___L   IF YOU DIDN'T WANT THIS JOB YOU SHOULD 
 ```='"""""==_  "_.--'   HAVE GOTTEN AN EDUCATION              
     |        `./   J                                          
     |        +' .' |                                          
     F       J      |                                          
     F      JF      F                                          
    J       F| KroggF                                          

#2597: GANG BANG PORN

Thu, 2006 Aug 3

porn

                                            ,:                    
                                          ,' |                    
                                         /   :                    
                                      --'   /                     
                                      \/ />/                      
                                      / <//_\                     
                                   __/   /                        
                                   )'-. /                         
                                   ./  :\                         
                                    /.' '                         
                                  '/'                             
                                  +                               
                                 '                                
                               `.                                 
                           .-"-     HANDS UP !!!!                 
                          (    |                                  
                       . .-'  '.    WHO FINDS GANG BANG PORN HOT  
                      ( (.   )8:                                  
                  .'    / (_  )                                   
                   _. :(.   )8P  `                                
               .  (  `-' (  `.   .                                
                .  :  (   .a8a)                                   
               /_`( "a `a. )"'                                    
           (  (/  .  ' )=='                                       
          (   (    )  .8"   +                                     
            (`'8a.( _(   (                                        
         ..-. `8P    ) `  )  +                                    
       -'   (      -ab:  )                                        
     '    _  `    (8P"Ya                                          
   _(    (    )b  -`.  ) +                                        
  ( 8)  ( _.aP" _a   \( \   *                                     
+  )/    (8P   (88    )  )                                        
   (a:f   "     `"       `                                        
                                                                  
         NOTE: NO ONE ON THE WHOLE OF PLANET EARTH HAS THEIR HANDS
               UP SO STOP MAKING THAT SHIT PLEASE THANKS PEACE OUT

#2695: TO ALL GLAMOUR MODELS

Thu, 2006 Nov 9

porn

    _"_ %                                                    
    (<  ?                                                    
     ` "        TO: ALL GLAMOUR MODELS                       
    __||___                                                  
   |\___//_\                                                 
   (' | ') \\     RE: YOUR RECENT PERFORMANCE                
 __|\ , /  |/                                                
/:  /   \  ::                                                
\| ######o /|       MESSAGE FOLLOWS                          
  ######## \)                                                
  ########                                                   
   \ :  /             SUCK A COCK OR GET AWAY FROM THE CAMERA
    \: /                                                     
     --                                                      
     %%%                                                     
      %%                                                     
       %                                                     
      /:\                                                    
     |/|, b'ger                                              

#2702: GOT MILF

Thu, 2006 Nov 16

milf, porn

                        .-""-.                                        
                       (___/\ \    FOLKS I THINK WE MIGHT BE OVERUSING
                      ( |' ' ) )   THE TERM MILF HERE WHEN IT IS USED 
                    __) _\=_/  (   TO REFER TO ANY WOMAN OVER TWENTY  
               ____(__.' `  \   )  REGARDLESS OF PARENTAL STATUS      
             .(/"-.._.('     ; (                                      
            /   / .     (' , |  )                                     
 _.`'---.._/   /.__ ____.'_| |_/                                      
'-'``'-._     /  | `-........'                                        
   jgs   `;-"`;  |                                                    
           `'.__/                                                     

#2718: DON'T LIKE ANAL

Sat, 2006 Dec 2

porn

        ___                                                   
    .-"`   `"-.                                               
  .'    .-.    '.                                             
 /     (/^\)     \                                            
/  #   (\ /)      \    Q: HOW CAN YOU TELL GIRLS IN PORN DON'T
| #    .-'-.      |       LIKE ANAL                           
|     /(_I_)\     |                                           
;     \\) (//     ;                                           
 ;     / Y \     ;                                            
  \    \ | /    /                                             
   \    \|/    /                                              
    \   /|\   /                                               
     |  \|/  |         A: BECAUSE IT GOES IN THEIR BUTT, DUH  
     |__/Y\__|                                                
     {=======}                                                
     }======={                                                
     {=======}                                                
     }======={                                                
  jgs{=======}                                                
      `""u""`                                                 

#2736: CLEARLY INAPPROPRIATE

Wed, 2006 Dec 20

porn

 ________________________                             
|                        |                            
|            o   o  o    |   BLOW ME WITH YOUR ASSHOLE
|          o= o. ..      |                            
|           . : . \\.    |                            
|          o  . o . . oo |                            
|          o-.\//. :o.   |                            
|    ,,,    o'\o. o . =o |                            
|   "o0".  o .=o\_//o o  |                            
|   ' -,"       \ /    o |                            
|   ,` -.       | |      |                            
|/\/|    \\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\|                            
|  /    , `-, {\/}  \    |                            
|  '-,   \,-' /0o\-_/;   |                            
|    /   \  \ \''/::::   |                            
|   '"|^\"`  '-==::::;   |                            
|     d d       ||  || Na|                            
 """"""""""""""""""""""""                             

#2751: WITHOUT A QUESTION

Thu, 2007 Jan 4

porn

                   _                                                
            .--,-"" ""-.                                            
           (            )                                           
            j-  __.    |     WITH A NAME LIKE FLIRTIN' AND SQUIRTIN'
            |  '     -'|       IT'S GOT TO BE GOOD                  
            |`--._____,+-.                                          
          .';`--.___.'    `.                                        
        .'         /    _  |                                        
       /        ,-' _.-'o;__\                                       
      (           .' o.-'  \)`.                                     
       `j--..___.'   '     /   )                                    
      (/   _    `-._    `-/`--' ,----.                              
      (.'   `--. `. `-._.'`._,-<o ===|                              
     .'         \  `.  /\`./`.  `----'                              
   .'            |   `' _\,() \                                     
 .'          ;_)      ()___/   \                                    
/   `._____.'             |     \                                   
\       /    =====.       \  _   `.                                 
 `.____/  /        \     __\/()    \                                
     .'  (          )  ()____/     .'                               
    /     `---    -'        |\   .'                                 
    `---.___                | `-'                                   
          .-`--.________.---'`.                                     
       .-'              /      \                                    
      /               .'        \                                   
     /            _.-'\          |                                  
     |  `-.____.-'     `.        ; .-""-.                           
     |      |            `.      ,'     |                           
     \      |              \            /                           
      `.___.'               `.         /                            
                        hjw   \      .'                             
                               `.__.'                               

#2768: STOLEN PORN

Sun, 2007 Jan 21

porn

       ,.                                          
       |`:.                                        
       |  `:.                                      
 m1a   | |`.`:;@.                                  
       | |;.`.`;|                                  
       ; `.';| ||      STOLEN PORN IS THE BEST PORN
      ,(`;.`.| ||                                  
     /8o (`:.  ||                                  
   /o8888o  `; ||                                  
 /@o8888888o (`;|                                  
(`.()oO888888o (<                                  
 `.`.;:oO08c{)/ |                                  
   `.`.(),0 /  /                                   
     `.`.`/  /                                     
       `.( /                                       

#2841: BANGBUS

Wed, 2007 Apr 4

porn

                                       __  o                          
                                      /  |/                           
                                    _/___|___________                 
                                   /  _______      __\                
   _______                        /  /_o_||__|    |                   
    \_\_\_\______________________/___             |                   
             \                       \____________|______________     
              \     ||                                           |    
               \  +_||_+       () () ()                      ____|    
                \                                             |       
                 \     _  ,,          _                      /        
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ \_.=" )"  "-._____,' ";__________________ /_^^^^^^^^
   ^^^^  ^^^^                                              \__|==% ^^ 
  ^^         ^^^^^^^^       ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^^      ^^^^^^^^^^ ^      ^^^^
^^^   ^^^^  Sabian  ^^^^^^^^^^^^          ^^^^     ^^       ^^^^^     
                                                                      
    I GUESS THE BANGBUS IS MOVING UP IN THE WORLD                     
    AND BECOMING A BANGBOAT ?!??!?!?!?                                
                                                                      
    FOLKS THAT'S JUST NOT COST EFFECTIVE                              
                                                                      
    IT SHOULD BE BANG-OIL-STAIN-BEHIND-THE-DUMPSTER-                  
    IN-THE-BACK-OF-THE-SAFEWAY-A-BLOCK-FROM-MY-HOUSE                  

#2915: POUT

Sun, 2007 Jun 17

porn

                .aadddbbbbaa,       ,adddbbbbaaa.                 
             .ad"           "\bbmdd/"           "ba.              
          .,d"                 `"'                 "b,.           
       .,ad"                                         "ba,.        
    .,amd"  __..,,,aaaaaadddddddMbbbbbbbaaaaaaa,,,..__  "bma,.    
,am8888ca8"""""''                                ``""""8ac88888ma,
"""""]8a.                                               .a8[""""" 
      "8ba.                                           .ad8"'      
        `"8bma,.                                .,amd88"'         
            `"""88bmm==aaabaaa===aabbbaaa==mmd88"""'              
         NV         `""""""""""""""""""""""'                      
                                                                  
    MODELS AND PORNSTARS AND WHORES EVERYWHERE:                   
                                                                  
     THERE IS A SUBTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SEXY LITTLE POUT      
      (OF WHICH MEN APPROVE) AND LOOKING LIKE YOU'RE SEVERELY     
       CONSTIPATED (WHICH IS SLIGHTLY LESS THAN HOT)              
                                                                  
         PLEASE TAKE NOTE FOR FUTURE REFERENCE                    
                                                                  
           THANKS FOR LISTENING                                   

#2918: GARK

Wed, 2007 Jun 20

porn, word

            `)                                                           
           _ \        IT'S INTERESTING THAT THE LANGUAGE WOMEN SPEAK     
         (( }/  ,_     WHEN STARRING IN "GAG FACTOR" MOVIES ONLY         
         )))__ /        CONSISTS OF ONE WORD REPEATED OVER AND OVER AGAIN
        (((---'                                                          
          \ '                                                            
           )|____.---- )                                                 
          / \ `       (                                                  
         / ' \ `      )                                                  
        /  '  \  `   /                                                   
       /   '       _/                                                    
      /   _!____.-'     GARK GARK GARK GARK GARK GARK GARK GARK GARK     
     /_.-'/    \                                                         
ejm     |`_    |`_                                                       

#2939: CRACK ADDICT

Wed, 2007 Jul 11

porn

 /     \     I WONDER IF THE MOVIE "CRACK ADDICT"
(   Y   )      IS ABOUT WHAT I THINK IT'S ABOUT  
 \  |  /                                         

#2993: THE BANG SPACE SHUTTLE

Mon, 2007 Sep 3

porn

               _                                        
             ,' '.                                      
            /     \                                     
          ^ |  _  | ^                                   
         | || / \ || |                                  
         | |||.-.||| |   LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I PRESENT
         | |||   ||| |                                  
         | |||   ||| |                                  
         | |||   ||| |                                  
         | |||   ||| |                                  
         | ,'     '. |   THE BANG SPACE SHUTTLE         
         ,'__     __`.                                  
        /____  |  ____\                                 
         /_\ |_|_| /_\                                  
         .:   : :   :.                                  
         : .  : .  : :                                  
          ::   ::   ::                                  
         : : .: :. : :                                  
        .: :.: : :. : .                                 
        : : .: :  ::  :                                 
jrei    .:  .   : :   ..                                

#3014: PORN FOR GIRLS

Mon, 2007 Sep 24

porn

                              /^\                              
           L L               /   \               L L           
        __/|/|_             /  .  \             _|\|\__        
       /_| [_[_\           /     .-\           /_]_] |_\       
      /__\  __`-\_____    /    .    \    _____/-`__  /__\      
     /___] /=@>  _   {>  /-.         \  <}   _  <@=\ [___\     
    /____/     /` `--/  /      .      \  \--` `\     \____\    
   /____/  \____/`-._> /               \ <_.-`\____/  \____\   
  /____/    /__/      /-._     .   _.-  \      \__\    \____\  
 /____/    /__/      /         .         \      \__\    \____\ 
|____/_  _/__/      /          .          \      \__\_  _\____|
 \__/_ ``_|_/      /      -._  .        _.-\      \_|_`` _\___/
   /__`-`__\      <_         `-;        NDT_>      /__`-`__\   
      `-`           `-._       ;       _.-`           `-`      
                        `-._   ;   _.-`                        
                            `-._.-`                            
                                                               
                     I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED                     
           IS THIS WHAT GIRLS LOOK AT INSTEAD OF PORN          
                                                               
                         WAIT NEVERMIND                        
             THEY LOOK AT MONEY WHEN THEY MASTURBATE           

#3154: MILF

Mon, 2008 Feb 11

milf, porn

    ,"=-.                                       
   /    _),`'".                                 
  (   /a( ),   )    IF YOU'RE LIKE ME           
  )  C  = =  ?/                                 
 (  )) (_  o-<                                  
 ) ( `-' \; ( \_                                
(  | \ ) )|  \_/}    YOU BEAT OFF TO MILF PORN  
 \  \  \(_;/-|_)                                
  )/) `._,--/ /                                 
   /     `!__!!                                 
  (       (_o))       AND THEN FEEL BAD ABOUT IT
---`-._,      )---                              
 ------(   /  |----                             
       |   (  |                                 
       :__/|\_;                                 
         \ |/                                   
          )(\_                                  
         /_)--`                                 
 gpyy    \_!                                    

#3156: GAPE

Wed, 2008 Feb 13

porn

 /     \             \            /    \       
|       |             \          |      |      
|       `.             |         |       :     
`        |             |        \|       |     
 \       | /       /  \\\   --__ \\       :    
  \      \/   _--~~          ~--__| \     |    
   \      \_-~                    ~-_\    |    
    \_     \        _.--------.______\|   |    
      \     \______// _ ___ _ (_(__> \   |     
       \   .  C ___)  _______ (_(____> |  /    
       /\ |   C ____)/       \ (_____> |_/     
      / /\|   C_____)|       |  (___> /  \     
     |   (   _C_____)\_______/  // _/ /     \  
     |    \  |__   \\_________// (__/       |  
    | \    \____)   `----   --'             |  
    |  \_          ___\       /_          _/ | 
   |              /    |     |  \            | 
   |             |    /       \  \           | 
   |          / /    |         |  \           |
   |         / /      \__/\___/    |          |
  |         / /        |    |       |         |
  |          |         |    |       |         |
                                               
     AT THE VERY LEAST THE PORN INDUSTRY HAS   
     INTRODUCED US ALL TO THE CONCEPT OF "GAPE"
     AND THAT'S REALLY NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF

#3194: PLEASE LABEL

Sat, 2008 Mar 22

porn

     .--.--------.--.                                                        
     |  ._.    ._D90|   PLEASE LABEL YOUR TRANSSEXUAL PORN AS SUCH           
     | ((_))  ((_)) |    BEFORE I GODDAMNED GO AND CLICK ON IT               
     |  `_______-'  |                                                        
     [()/o      o\()]   I AM SOMEWHAT IMPAIRED BY ALCOHOL AND                
hjw  "-/--"----"--\-"    CANNOT MAKE THESE DISTINCTIONS FROM THUMBNAILS      
      (\))--./)_.' )                                                         
    ((_)/X~()/(_))(     MIGHT I SUGGEST LABELS LIKE "TRANNY" OR "TS" OR      
    .~(|/()~())\/)()     "DISGUSTING" OR "ONLY CLICK ON THIS IF YOU'RE A FAG"
    `~(/\/_8(_) X_/                                                          
      ((X_)\_X~(_)                                                           
       (_/ () `-'                                                            

#3251: TOM SIZEMORE

Sun, 2008 May 18

porn

     ___ ____   ________                                                   
   ,"_ ,`==='`.'__....__`--.                                               
 ,',' |      ,o@@@@@@@@@@o. \                                              
, /___|     d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@b \                                             
||   "|    d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@b|   TOM SIZEMORE SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY        
|| ()||   ,@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@:                                             
|| , ||   @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@                                             
||(|)||   '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@//D   I GUESS THE QUESTION REALLY IS WHY        
|| ' ||    '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/@P    *WOULDN'T* I WANT TO WATCH HIS PORN MOVIES
|| , ||     `@@@@@@@@@@@@/@'|                                              
||(|)|| CCD   `@@@@@@@@@@'  |                                              
|| ' | '----------'"""""_,  |                                              
|| , |`.    S O N Y   |     |                                              
:|(|)| |              |     |                                              
`|  '| ::............::     ,                                              
 |\__| ::::::::::::::::----"                                               
 :     '::::::::::::::'                                                    
  \                 ;   Bob_R                                              
   `---------------"                                                       

#3269: SHRILL WHINING

Thu, 2008 Jun 5

porn

   __,_____                                                       
  (( __.==--" -  -  - - - - -------- ==>                          
  /\(-'                                                           
  `-)))/)))       HEY YOU KNOW WHAT'S A MAJOR TURN-ON ?!?!?!?     
   (((((\(                                                        
    )/)\)\\       INCLUDING PORN OUTTAKES WHERE THE STUPID        
  ,//(((((\\.     WHORE WHINES ABOUT HOW SHE GOT JIZZ IN HER      
 ((( (! !) )))    HAIR ON HER CLOTHES OR ON THE COUCH OR SOME     
 _)))  -   |(_    STUPID SHIT AFTER THE SCENE IS OVER WHEN SHE    
._//\  O  /\\_.   DOESN'T REALIZE/CARE THE CAMERA IS STILL ROLLING
`-'_/`,-.'\-`-                                                    
 ,' \/===\/  `.   BECAUSE SURELY WHAT I WANT TO HEAR AFTER BLOWING
            hjw   MY LOAD IS SHRILL WHINING AND NAGGING           
                                                                  
                  SINCE THAT'S WHAT I NORMALLY FUCKING HEAR ANYWAY

#3425: I HAVE A WIFE

Sat, 2008 Nov 8

porn

       \\\\////                                
        |.)(.|                                 
        | || |   WATCHING "I HAVE A WIFE"      
        \(__)/                                 
        |-..-|                                 
        |o\/o|                                 
   .----\    /----.                            
  / / / |~~~~| \ \ \                           
 / / / /|::::|\ \ \ \                          
'-'-'-'-|::::|-'-'-'-'                         
       (((^^)))                                
        >>><<<                                 
        ||||||                                 
        (o)(o)                                 
        | /\ |                                 
        (====)                                 
        |_/\_|   PORNOGRAPHERS SURE ARE GETTING
        (_/\_)    LAZY WITH THEIR MOVIE TITLES 
       _|_,__|_                                
jgs   (___\____)                               

#3671: GONZO

Sun, 2009 Jul 12

porn

      _________________________________________________________ 
     ||-------------------------------------------------------||
     ||.--.    .-._                        .----.             ||
     |||==|____| |H|___            .---.___|""""|_____.--.___ ||
     |||  |====| | |xxx|_          |+++|=-=|_  _|-=+=-|==|---|||
     |||==|    | | |   | \         |   |   |_\/_|Black|  | ^ |||
     |||  |    | | |   |\ \   .--. |   |=-=|_/\_|-=+=-|  | ^ |||
     |||  |    | | |   |_\ \_( oo )|   |   |    |Magus|  | ^ |||
     |||==|====| |H|xxx|  \ \ |''| |+++|=-=|""""|-=+=-|==|---|||
     ||`--^----'-^-^---'   `-' ""  '---^---^----^-----^--^---^||
     ||-------------------------------------------------------||
     ||-------------------------------------------------------||
     ||               ___                   .-.__.-----. .---.||
     ||              |===| .---.   __   .---| |XX|<(*)>|_|^^^|||
     ||         ,  /(|   |_|III|__|''|__|:x:|=|  |     |=| Q |||
     ||      _a'{ / (|===|+|   |++|  |==|   | |  |Illum| | R |||
     ||      '/\\/ _(|===|-|   |  |''|  |:x:|=|  |inati| | Y |||
     ||_____  -\{___(|   |-|   |  |  |  |   | |  |     | | Z |||
     ||       _(____)|===|+|[I]|DK|''|==|:x:|=|XX|<(*)>|=|^^^|||
     ||              `---^-^---^--^--'--^---^-^--^-----^-^---^||
     ||-------------------------------------------------------||
Qryz ||_______________________________________________________||
                                                                
         CAN WE ALL JUST AGREE THAT "GONZO" IS A COMPLETELY     
         MEANINGLESS PORN VIDEO CLASSIFICATION AND THEREFORE    
         SHOULD STOP BEING USED SINCE IT SERVES NO PURPOSE      

#3735: BEHIND THE SCENES

Mon, 2009 Sep 14

porn

      .-.                                              
     (/^\)                                             
     (\ /)    I'M A PORN STARLET THAT APPEARS AFTER THE
     .-'-.     "BEHIND THE SCENES" CLIPS BECAUSE       
    /(_I_)\     I'M THE ONE NO ONE REALLY WANTED       
    \\) (//                                            
     /   \                                             
     \ | /                                             
      \|/                                              
      /|\                                              
      \|/                                              
jgs   /Y\                                              

#3776: BEHIND THE SCENES CLIPS

Sun, 2009 Oct 25

porn

                      ____                                        
                     / ___`\                                      
         /|         ( (   \ \    IF I WERE KING FOR A DAY I'D BAN 
    |^v^v  V|        \ \/) ) )   THE INCLUSION OF ANY AND ALL     
    \  ____ /         \_/ / /    "BEHIND THE SCENES" CLIPS IN PORN
    ,Y`    `,            / /                                      
    ||  -  -)           { }                                       
    \\   _\ |           | |                                       
     \\ / _`\_         / /                                        
     / |  ~ | ``\     _|_|                                        
  ,-`  \    |  \ \  ,//(_}                                        
 /      |   |   | \/  \| |                                        
|       |   |   | '   ,\ \                                        
|     | \   /  /\  _/`  | |                                       
\     |  | |   | ``     | |      LESS FILLER MORE FLUFFER PEOPLE  
 |    \  \ |   |        | |                                       
 |    |   |/   |        / /                                       
 |    |        |        | |                                       

#3801: COUCH PLASTIC

Thu, 2009 Nov 19

porn

       ______________        _____________                               
     !/ ........... (_     _) ........... \!                             
     |.'           '. (_!_) .'           '.|   YOU'D THINK BY CUM STAINED
    .'               '.....'               '.   CASTING COUCH #10 OR SO  
    :                                       :   THEY'D HAVE LEARNED TO   
    :                                       :   PUT SOME PLASTIC DOWN ON 
    :                                       :    THE DAMN THING TO HELP  
  .' '.....................................' '.    WITH THE CLEANUPS     
.'  .'                                     '.  '.                        
@'.'                                         '.'@                        
 \'...........................................'/                         
  |___________________________________________|                          
  (   /|                                 |\   )                          
   ) |_|                                 |_| (                           
   | |                                     | |                           
   | |                                     | |lc                         
  (__|                                     |__)                          

#3804: MILFS

Sun, 2009 Nov 22

porn

    _,---.                                                   
   (/_/))))                                                  
    \c e_e)    .      MILFS ARE SLOWLY MORPHING INTO WMAIDWTF
     \  = )   _|                                             
    ,-` -(_  |o|       (WOMEN MY AGE I DON'T WANT TO FUCK)   
   /   `-'\\ |#{)                                            
  /__| ._ _)y /                                              
  < \     (\_/                                               
   `.\ ____\                                                 
   ,>>>    |                                                 
.==T=T==.__|                                                 
|       | /                                                  
|       |\                                                   
|_______| \                                                  
    /  /\  \                                                 
   / ,'  `. \                                                
  / /      \ \                                               
 <\_\_      \ \                                              
  `---`    (_`-\_                                            
             `---' hjw                                       
                                                             
                                                             

#3821: YOU LOST ME

Wed, 2009 Dec 9

porn

      ________   .==.    DEAR PORNOGRAPHER,                      
jgs  [________>c((_  )                                           
                 '=='    I WAS WITH YOU UP TO AND INCLUDING      
                         WHEN YOU JIZZED ON THE WHORE'S FACE     
                         BUT I LOST YOU AFTER YOU MADE HER       
                         SCOOP IT UP WITH A SPOON (PICTURED LEFT)
                         AND PUT IT IN HER MOUTH AND THEN        
                         BRUSH HER TEETH WITH IT                 
                                                                 
                         SIGNED, PLANET EARTH                    

#3881: FLESHDANCE

Sun, 2010 Feb 7

porn

       oo                                                    
      8 "} > @ <      USING MY FLESHLIGHT TO WATCH FLESHDANCE
     .8 .-._/|                                               
   .'_'`')`_.'                                               
   \| ) /                                                    
  (>'/  |_,_                                                 
     |    (,|                                                
   .'    ,'\|                                                
    `._/    )                                                
     \|     '`-                                              
--   ''--        ---   VK/ejm                                

#4027: V. TOWN

Sat, 2010 Jul 3

porn, word

.             .        .     .     |--|--|--|--|--|--|  |===|==|   /    i    
        .            ______________|__|__|__|__|__|_ |  |===|==|  *  . /=\   
__ *            .   /______________________________|-|  |===|==|       |=|  .
__|  .      .   .  //______________________________| :----------------------.
__|   /|\      _|_|//       ooooooooooooooooooooo  |-|                      |
__|  |/|\|__   ||l|/,-------8                   8 -| |    IS VAGINA TOWN    |
__|._|/|\|||.l |[=|/,-------8                   8 -|-|                      |
__|[+|-|-||||li|[=|---------8                   8 -| |                      |
_-----.|/| //:\_[=|\`-------8                   8 -|-|                      |
 /|  /||//8/ :  8_|\`------ 8ooooooooooooooooooo8 -| |   EVEN A REAL PLACE  |
/=| //||/ |  .  | |\\_____________  ____  _________|-|                      |
==|//||  /   .   \ \\_____________ |X|  | _________| `---==------------==---'
==| ||  /         \ \_____________ |X| \| _________|     ||            ||    
==| |~ /     .     \                                                         
LS|/  /             \______________________________________________________  

#4205: PORN OUTTAKES

Tue, 2010 Dec 28

porn

     ___ ____   ________                                            
   ,"_ ,`==='`.'__....__`--.                                        
 ,',' |      ,o@@@@@@@@@@o. \                                       
, /___|     d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@b \   GET THIS THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEAD,
||   "|    d@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@b|   AMATEUR VIDEO MAKER:               
|| ()||   ,@/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@:                                      
|| , ||   @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@   NO ONE GIVES A SHIT                
||(|)||   '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@//D   ABOUT YOUR FUCKING OUTTAKES        
|| ' ||    '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/@P                                       
|| , ||     `@@@@@@@@@@@@/@'|                                       
||(|)|| CCD   `@@@@@@@@@@'  |                                       
|| ' | '----------'"""""_,  |                                       
|| , |`.    S O N Y   |     |                                       
:|(|)| |              |     |                                       
`|  '| ::............::     ,                                       
 |\__| ::::::::::::::::----"                                        
 :     '::::::::::::::'                                             
  \                 ;   Bob_R                                       
   `---------------"                                                

#4322: BAD WORK DAY

Sun, 2011 Apr 24

porn

       YOU KNOW IT'S A BAD WORKDAY WHEN IT'S 9 PM                
        AND I'M CHECKING THE PORNO SITES FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY
                                                                 
                                                                 
             /                                                   
    |||||                                                        
   ||O O|`____.                                                  
  |||\-/|| \ __\                                                 
  |.--:--|  .   :                                                
  /( ):( |_.-~~_.                                                
 (~m  : /  | oo:|                                                
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                                               
                                                                 
VK+a:f                                                           

#4397: QUITTERS

Fri, 2011 Jul 8

porn, word

            uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu                    
          u" uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu "u                  
        u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u                
      u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u              
    u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u            
  u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u          
u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u        
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $        
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $        
$ $$$" ... "$...  ...$" ... "$$$  ... "$$$ $        
$ $$$u `"$$$$$$$  $$$  $$$$$  $$  $$$  $$$ $        
$ $$$$$$uu "$$$$  $$$  $$$$$  $$  """ u$$$ $        
$ $$$""$$$  $$$$  $$$u "$$$" u$$  $$$$$$$$ $        
$ $$$$....,$$$$$..$$$$$....,$$$$..$$$$$$$$ $        
$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $        
"u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"        
  "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"          
    "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"            
      "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"              
        "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u"                
          "u """""""""""""""""" u"                  
            """"""""""""""""""""                    
                                                    
   I KEEP HEARING THAT DVDA IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE
   BUT IT SURE SOUNDS LIKE THE PEOPLE SAYING SO     
   HAVE A CASE OF THE QUITTERS                      

#4418: MORAL OBLIGATION

Fri, 2011 Jul 29

porn

         _.--._                                                   
      ,'        `.         I BELIEVE IT'S MY MORAL OBLIGATION     
     /   __) __`  \         TO OCCASIONALLY BEAT OFF TO FAT CHICKS
    (   (`-`(-')   )                                              
    /)  \   _  /  (                                               
   /'    )-._.' .  \ ___                                          
  (  ,--.,    `.)___(___)       BECAUSE IF I DON'T DO IT WHO WILL 
   )(   /-.,--'\   _ \X/`                                         
  '/ .'/        \ (  Uu")\                                        
    / /          \ `/,-'  )                                       
   ( ^      ,    ,^ )`._.'                                        
    ( `.   Y   .'  )                                              
     \  `. )\.'   / )                                             
     )`._.'=='._.' (                                              
    /               )                                             
   (                ."-.                                          
  /(`    -)        /    \                                         
 (  \`-.__    -'_."      `                                        
 |  \`-.__.--"v"          |                                       
 `.'      \   |,          ,                                       
  /        `._/           :                                       
 /           |           '                                        
/           /|          /                                         
           / |         /  Ojo/VK/FS/ejm                           

#5100: GOLDEN GIRLS

Mon, 2013 Jun 10

porn

         "THE GOLDEN GIRLS: AN XXX MILF PARODY"        
  ________________________________________________     
 /\______________________________________________/`-.  
<()>____________________________________________<    ##
 \/______________________________________________\,-'  
                                                       
        I.E., I THINK I'M DONE WITH PORN FOREVER       

#5191: TISSUES

Mon, 2013 Sep 9

porn

  .-.                                                               
..'-'..     < {>                                                    
||   ||     \ }/              WELP !!!!! I'M ALL SET !!!!!!         
|||) ||  .--.''.--.   .---.                                         
|||X ||  |        |   || ||   TIME TO WATCH THE LATEST ANAL ACROBATS
||   ||  |Tissues |   ||~||                                         
||___||_ |________|   ||_||                                         
      (_):=======   oo      ldb                                     

#5275: DVD

Mon, 2013 Dec 2

porn

                      :+""  ~<<::""+:                    
                 +Xi<<<<!<  `<<!?!<<<HMti%L              
            :?HMMMM:<<<!<~ <<<!X<<<!MM$$MMh?x            
          !HMRMMRMMM:<<<!< <<<!!<<<MR$$MRMMRMH?.         
        ?NMMMMMMMMMMM<<<?<  <<!!<<XM$$RMMMMMMMMM?        
      !$$$$$MMMMMMRMMk<<!!  <<H!<<M$$MRMMRMMMRMMRM!      
     <M$$$$$$8MMMMMMMM:<<!  <<H<<48$RMMMMMMMMMMMMMM>:    
   xHMRMMR$$$$$8RMMMMMM<<!< <!!<<9$$RMMMRMMRMMMMM?!<<%   
  :XMMMMMMMM$$$$$MMMMMMH<<~ ~~~<X$RMMMMMMMMMMM!!<~    k  
  <<<!MMRMMRMMR$$$$MMP.n~       #R.#MMRMMRM?<~~   .nMMh. 
 !MMH:<<<!*MMMMMMM$Pu! n"       "+ "h!MM!!~   :@MMMMMMM/ 
.HMRMMRMMMH:<<"*RM M @             * "   .nMMMMMMMRMMRMMk
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMx < "      .u.        4'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM9
!RMMRMMMRMMRMMMMMX M     @P   #$     4 MMRMMMRMMRMMMMMMR<
!MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM !    '$     $!    ' MtMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
kMMRMMRMMRMMMRMMR4 H     #$.  @$     H MMMMRMMMMMMRMMRMM!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM>M         "`      .~i <!?MMMMMMMMMMMMM9
'9MMRMMMRMMRMMP!   : %             H @ $NRMHx<<<!!MMMMMR!
 >MMMMMMMMM"   <<HMk!i *u       .* x*xR$$$$8MMMMHi<<<<~< 
  !RMM#~   :<:MMRMMMMH.*n:      :*.HRMMMRM$$$$$$8MRMMM!  
  !     <<:tMMMMMMMMMM$RM<::: :<<XMMMMMMMMMR$$$$$$$8MM!  
   ~ <<<XHMRMMMMMMRMM$RM<<<<< `!<<MRMMRMMRMMMRR$$$$$$#   
     :HMMMMMMMMMMMM9$$MM<<X!<~'~<<<MMMMMMMMMMMMMR$$#!    
      ~MMRMMMRMMRMM$$MM<<<?<<  <<<<!RMMMRMMRMMMMMM!      
        xMMMMMMMM9$$MM%<<<?<<: <!<<<?MMMMMMMMMMMX        
          !?MMMM@$$MMR<<<<!<<<  <:<<<MRMMRMMMP!          
            "X*9$$RMM!<<<?!<<~  <!<<<<MMMMM?"            
                !X*MM<<<<H!<<`  <?<<<<<)!     BA         
                     "+:uX!<<< .::+""                    
                                                         
     FOLKS I JUST MASTURBATED TO A DVD !!!!!!!11         
                                                         
     YES THOSE THINGS STILL EXIST                        
                                                         
                                                         
     A BUCK OH FIVE                                      

#5290: DOGS OF WAR

Tue, 2013 Dec 17

porn

            |\                                                 
   \`-. _.._| \                                                
    |_,'  __`. \     CRY HAVOC                                 
    (.\ _/.| _  |                                              
   ,'      __ \ |    AND LET SLIP THE ANAL ACROBATS #6, SCENE 4
 ,'     __/||\  |                                              
(Y8P  ,/|||||/  |                                              
   `-'_----    /                                               
      /`-._.-'/                                                
      `-.__.-' jg                                              

#5292: TRAPPED ON A DESERT ISLAND

Thu, 2013 Dec 19

porn

          _                                                     
         /_'. _                                                 
       _   \ / '-.     IF I HAD TO BE TRAPPED ON A DESERT ISLAND
      < ``-.;),--'`    WITH JUST ONE MFX IT WOULD BE MFX 257    
       '--.</()`--.                                             
         / |/-/`'._\                                            
         |/ |=|                                                 
            |_|                                                 
       ~`   |-| ~~      ~                                       
   ~~  ~~ __|=|__   ~~                                          
 ~~   .-'`  |_|  ``""-._   ~~                                   
  ~~.'      |=|    O    '-.  ~                                  
    |      `"""`  <|\      \   ~                                
~   \              |\      | ~~                                 
 jgs '-.__.--._    |/   .-'                                     
          ~~   `--...-'`    ~~                                  
  ~~         ~          ~                                       
         ~~         ~~     ~                                    

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  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Sat, 2018 Sep 15)
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