> HOME
> CURRENT
> RANDOM
> BEST OF
> RSS FEED
> CONTACT
    _    ____   ____ ___ ___      _         _     _____          _       
   / \  / ___| / ___|_ _|_ _|    / \   _ __| |_  |  ___|_ _ _ __| |_ ___ 
  / _ \ \___ \| |    | | | |    / _ \ | '__| __| | |_ / _` | '__| __/ __|
 / ___ \ ___) | |___ | | | |   / ___ \| |  | |_  |  _| (_| | |  | |_\__ \
/_/   \_\____/ \____|___|___| /_/   \_\_|   \__| |_|  \__,_|_|   \__|___/
"OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT"
BY NUMBER <
BY TITLE <
BY DATE <
BY DAY <
BY CALENDAR <
BY KEYWORD <

2010 (6)
24 (8)
911 (30)
aaliyah (7)
adventure (3)
al franken (2)
al gore (2)
al qaeda (2)
alice cooper (2)
alien (4)
aliens colonial marines (2)
all you have (3)
allegra (2)
am i right (17)
amazon (2)
anal* (5)
android (2)
anger* (5)
anime (18)
anna nicole smith (3)
annie ascii (6)
answer bear* (3)
apollo (11)
apple (8)
aquatic* (5)
aria giovanni (4)
asia carrera (2)
asperger (19)
atari (4)
aurora jolie (2)
australia (3)
babylon 5 (3)
bailout (4)
battlefield (16)
battlestar galactica (8)
bbc (2)
beatles (2)
bejeweled (2)
berserkers (2)
best of (33)
best part (12)
beyonce (2)
bible (2)
bionic woman (2)
blank (3)
blog (52)
bob marley (2)
bobby brown (4)
bolo santosi (2)
boner* (3)
bravo (8)
brazil (4)
bright (2)
british (2)
britney spears (3)
brokeback mountain (2)
bush (6)
call of duty (7)
calvin (2)
camgirl (9)
canada (12)
carl sagan (2)
cassini (3)
census (2)
chalkboard (2)
chaps* (3)
charlie sheen (2)
cheers (2)
christmas (15)
clam* (3)
cold war (4)
communism (3)
confessions* (13)
conspiracy duck* (11)
contact (2)
cosby show (4)
cosmos (3)
counter-strike (3)
creampie (3)
critic (4)
crucicaption (6)
crysis (6)
daylight savings (2)
dean (32)
defcon (3)
derek smart (4)
desirae (2)
deus ex (3)
diabetes (4)
dickwolves (3)
die hard (4)
dilbert (6)
disney (25)
doctor who (3)
dont hate me (2)
doom (9)
dot (2)
douglas adams (2)
down syndrome (4)
dr. dre (2)
dr. who (2)
duke nukem (3)
dune (4)
eaten* (2)
einstein (2)
election 2004 (7)
election 2008 (33)
election 2010 (2)
election 2012 (9)
ellen degeneres (2)
er (2)
escher (2)
esperanto (2)
eve online (2)
everybody loves raymond (3)
facebook (9)
family guy (3)
far cry (2)
fear (2)
figlet (37)
filk (2)
flea* (5)
flintstones (3)
football (2)
fred friendly (3)
freespace (6)
french (12)
fresh air (2)
friends (3)
funyuns (2)
garfield (5)
geography (7)
german (24)
gianna michaels (4)
gloria steinem (2)
gnutella (2)
god help me (2)
google (5)
grand theft auto (10)
gun free zones (2)
haiku (9)
haiti (4)
half-life (10)
halloween (2)
halo (4)
ham (2)
hamas (2)
hangin with jesus* (5)
harry potter (4)
harvey milk (2)
henry* (5)
hershey* (3)
hillary clinton (2)
hippies (7)
hitler (2)
hulk (3)
hurricane (7)
ice cube (3)
id software (2)
ideograms (4)
immigration (4)
inconsolable (2)
india (2)
infocom (3)
intelligent design (3)
iphone (3)
iran (5)
iraq (17)
isaac newton (3)
islam (28)
israel (3)
james burke (2)
jasmin st. claire (2)
jave (8)
jeopardy (3)
jerkcity (2)
jesus (19)
jewish (2)
jfk (2)
jimmy carter (3)
jody watley (2)
john f. kennedy (3)
john travolta (2)
jon stewart (3)
joseph kony (2)
jupiter (2)
just cause (3)
kari byron (2)
katamari (3)
kelis (2)
kilroy (2)
kindle (4)
kirara (3)
kirstie alley (3)
kiwi (3)
korean (3)
lady diana (2)
lady gaga (2)
latin (2)
law and order (10)
left 4 dead (3)
left eye (4)
linux (6)
logo (16)
lord of the rings (4)
lost (2)
lottery (2)
lucy lee (2)
lyrics (23)
macintosh (6)
marilyn manson (3)
mariska hargitay (2)
mash (5)
mass effect (8)
math (4)
matrix (5)
me neither (4)
mel gibson (3)
meme (5)
memento (2)
meta (2)
michael jackson (9)
michael moore (5)
michelin (2)
midori (2)
milf (4)
minecraft (4)
minotaur* (2)
monads (2)
mormon (2)
msnbc (2)
muppets (4)
myfreecams (6)
mythbusters (2)
nabis (2)
napster (3)
nasa (8)
nazi (12)
nerd boy (9)
net neutrality (2)
nethack (4)
newsgroup (47)
newsradio (2)
niven (2)
nobel prize (4)
north korea (3)
npr (4)
obama (12)
oceans thirteen (2)
oj simpson (2)
okcupid (2)
olympics (3)
onion (3)
open source (10)
original (56)
orkut (2)
osama bin laden (6)
p2p (4)
pac-man (6)
pajamas media (4)
panther (4)
particle (2)
patriot act (2)
peanuts (15)
pearl harbor (3)
penn and teller (2)
penny arcade (2)
perl (2)
perspective (6)
petition (7)
playstation (2)
please shut up* (2)
plonk (5)
pluto (6)
poem (4)
pokemon (6)
poker (13)
polyamory (3)
pooh (8)
porn (46)
pornstar (65)
portal (7)
powerpuff (2)
proposal (2)
python (2)
quake (8)
quebec (2)
queer eye (3)
r. kelly (3)
rage (2)
rape rays* (3)
red bull (3)
red dwarf (2)
rent (2)
richard stallman (2)
rihanna (3)
roger ebert (7)
roman polanski (2)
ron paul (4)
russian (2)
safe word (3)
sanrio (4)
sarah silverman (2)
saturday night live (3)
saving grace (2)
science fact (3)
scrubs (4)
seaquest (2)
second life (2)
seinfeld (2)
sesame (7)
sesame street (3)
shakespeare (3)
shield (3)
shitting* (3)
shutdown (2)
simple (20)
simpsons (8)
skeptic (3)
skull (2)
slashdot (4)
smurfs (3)
soccer (6)
south park (4)
space shuttle (5)
special (2)
spice girls (4)
spongebob (2)
spore (2)
squirtle (2)
star trek (35)
star wars (20)
starcraft (4)
starship troopers (2)
steve jobs (2)
strike (2)
super bowl (3)
sweden (2)
swine flu (3)
tattoo (9)
tax (6)
ted (6)
ted kennedy (3)
tensor (3)
terry gross (2)
tetris (2)
thanksgiving (3)
they might be giants (2)
third rock (2)
tina fey (2)
tlc (3)
togos (2)
tomb raider (4)
tools* (2)
topical (215)
transsexual (2)
transvestite (3)
treo (3)
trilogy* (2)
true story (3)
truther (2)
tsunami (5)
twitter (12)
u2 (3)
understatement (5)
usenet (9)
ussr (4)
uwe boll (2)
vanessa del rio (2)
vectrex (2)
vegan (2)
west wing (12)
wiccan* (10)
wii (2)
wiki (2)
wikileaks (2)
wikipedia (38)
will.i.am (2)
windows (5)
wishful thinking (8)
witchblade (3)
wolfenstein (5)
woody allen (3)
word (113)
world cup (3)
world of warcraft (2)
world war ii (5)
wwjd (3)
wyclef jean (2)
x-men (2)
xbox (2)
xkcd (2)
youtube (8)
zombie* (7)
zynga (2)

#88: DEAN

Mon, 1999 Sep 20

dean, figlet

 ___   _  _   ____  _____    _    _   _ 
|_ _| / \/ \ |  _ \| ____|  / \  | \ | |
 | |  \ kb / | | | |  _|   / _ \ |  \| |
 | |   \  /  | |_| | |___ / ___ \| |\  |
|___|   \/   |____/|_____/_/   \_\_| \_|

#294: SYSTEM NINJA

Thu, 2000 Apr 13

dean

              .-""""-.        .-""""-.               
             /        \      /        \              
            /_        _\    /_        _\             
           // \      / \\  // \      / \\            
           |\__\    /__/|  |\__\    /__/|            
            \    ||    /    \    ||    /             
             \        /      \        /              
              \  __  /        \  __  /               
            /  '.__.'          '.__.'  \             
WAS THAT THE    |  |            |  |    SHUT UP WHERE
SYSTEM NINJA    |  |            |  |    IS MY LIGHTER

#296: MISSING KIM

Sat, 2000 Apr 15

dean, sesame

              .---. .---.      ME MISS KIM!   
             :     : o   :         /          
         _..-:   o :     :-.._    /           
     .-''  '  `---' `---' "   ``-.            
   .'   "   '  "  .    "  . '  "  `.          
  :   '.---.,,.,...,.,.,.,..---.  ' ;         
  `. " `.                     .' " .'         
   `.  '`.                   .' ' .'          
    `.    `-._           _.-' "  .'  .----.   
      `. "    '"--...--"'  . ' .'  .'  o   `. 
      .'`-._'    " .     " _.-'`. :       o  :
    .'      ```--.....--'''    ' `:_ o       :
  .'    "     '         "     "   ; `.;";";";'
 ;         '       "       '     . ; .' ; ; ; 
;     '         '       '   "    .'      .-'  
'  "     "   '      "           "    _.-'     

#297: SUBMARINE

Sun, 2000 Apr 16

dean

                           |`-:_    BUHHHHH                       
  ,----....____            |    `+. /                             
 (             ````----....|___   |                               
  \     _                      ````----....____                   
   \    _)                                     ```---.._          
    \                                                   \         
  )`.\  )`.   )`.   )`.   )`.   )`.   )`.   )`.   )`.   )`.   )   
-'   `-'   `-'   `-'   `-'   `-'   `-'   `-'   `-'   `-'   `-'   `

#302: I'M HERE FOR THE CHEESE

Fri, 2000 Apr 21

dean, disney

                                     .,.               .,;;;;;,           
                                    ;;;;;;;,,        ,;;%%%%%;;           
   ARE YOU KIM DO YOU KNOW KIM       `;;;%%%%;;,.  ,;;%%;;%%%;;   FUCK OFF
   DID SHE SEND YOU OR DID SHE          `;%%;;%%%;;,;;%%%%%%%;;'  I'M HERE
   GIVE YOU A MESSAGE FOR GOD'S          `;;%%;;%:,;%%%%%;;%%;;,  FOR THE 
   SAKE I MISS YOU PLEASE COME BACK         `;;%%%,;%%%%%%%%%;;;  CHEESE  
                                               `;:%%%%%%;;%%;;;'          
           ..,,,.                                 .:::::::.               
        .;;;;;;;;;;,.                                  s.                 
        `;;;;;;;;;;;;;,                               ,SSSs.              
          `:.:.:.:.:.:.:.                            ,SSSSSSs.            
           .;;;;;;;;;;;;;::,                        ,SSSSSSSSS,           
          ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:::%,                    ,SS%;SSSSSSsS          
         ;;;;;;,:,:::::::;::::%%,                  SS%;SSSSSSsSS          
         ;;;;;,::a@@@@@@a::%%%%%%%,.   ...         SS%;SSSSSSSS'          
         `::::::@@@@@@@@@@@a;%%%%%%%%%'  #;        `SS%;SSSSS'            
  .,sSSSSs;%%,::@@@@@@;;' #`@@a;%%%%%'   ,'          `S%;SS'              
sSSSSSSSSSs;%%%,:@@@@a;;   .@@@a;%%sSSSS'           .%%%;SS,              
`SSSSSSSSSSSs;%%%,:@@@a;;;;@@@;%%sSSSS'        ..,,%%%;SSSSSSs.           
  `SSSSSSSSSSSSs;%%,%%%%%%%%%%%SSSS'     ..,,%;sSSS;%;SSSSSSSSs.          
     `SSSSSSSSSSS%;%;sSSSS;""""   ..,,%sSSSS;;SSSS%%%;SSSSSSSSSS.         
         """""" %%;SSSSSS;;%..,,sSSS;%SSSSS;%;%%%;%%%%;SSSSSS;SSS.        
                `;SSSSS;;%%%%%;SSSS;%%;%;%;sSSS;%%%%%%%;SSSSSS;SSS        
                 ;SSS;;%%%%%%%%;%;%sSSSS%;SSS;%%%%%%%%%;SSSSSS;SSS        
                 `S;;%%%%%%%%%%%%%SSSSS;%%%;%%%%%%%%%%%;SSSSSS;SSS        
                  ;SS;%%%%%%%%%%%%;%;%;%%;%%%%%%%%%%%%;SSSSSS;SSS'        
                  SS;%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%;%%%%%%%%%%%;SSSSSS;SSS'          
                  SS;%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%;%%%%%%%%%%%;SSSSS;SSS'            
                  SS;%%%%%%%%%%%%%;sSSs;%%%%%%%%;SSSSSS;SSSS              
                  `SS;%%%%%%%%%%%%%%;SS;%%%%%%;SSSSSS;SSSS'               
                   `S;%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%;S;%%%%%;SSSS;SSSSS%                 
                    `S;%;%%%%%%%%%%%'   `%%%%;SSS;SSSSSS%.                
                    ,S;%%%%%%%%%%;'      `%%%%%;S   `SSSSs%,.             
                  ,%%%%%%%%%%;%;'         `%;%%%;     `SSSs;%%,.          
               ,%%%%%%;;;%;;%;'           .%%;%%%       `SSSSs;%%.        
            ,%%%%%' .%;%;%;'             ,%%;%%%'         `SSSS;%%        
          ,%%%%'   .%%%%'              ,%%%%%'             `SSs%%'        
        ,%%%%'    .%%%'              ,%%%%'                ,%%%'          
      ,%%%%'     .%%%              ,%%%%'                 ,%%%'           
    ,%%%%'      .%%%'            ,%%%%'                  ,%%%'            
  ,%%%%'        %%%%           ,%%%'                    ,%%%%             
  %%%%'       .:::::         ,%%%'                      %%%%'             
.:::::        :::::'       ,%%%'                       ,%%%%              
:::::'                   ,%%%%'                        %%%%%              
                        %%%%%'                         %%%%%              
                      .::::::                        .::::::              
                      ::::::'                        ::::::'              

#304: ONE DAY

Sun, 2000 Apr 23

dean

#                                                                   
 ##                                                                 
 ###                                                                
  ####                                                              
   #####                                                            
   #######                                                          
    #######                                                         
    ########                    ONE DAY, ONE DAY I WILL BE          
    ########                    IMMORTAL                            
    #########                                                       
    ##########                  THEN YOU WILL ALL BE SORRY          
   ############                 OH BOY WILL YOU ALL BE SORRY        
 ##############                                                     
################                       /                            
 ################                     /                             
   ##############                    /                              
    ##############                  /                           ####
    ##############                 /                         #####  
     ##############               /                      #######    
     ##############              /                  ###########     
     ###############            /                 #############     
     ################                           ##############      
    #################      #                  ################      
    ##################     ##    #           #################      
   ####################   ###   ##          #################       
        ################  ########          #################       
         ################  #######         ###################      
           #######################       #####################      
            #####################       ###################         
              ############################################          
               ###########################################          
               ##########################################           
                ########################################            
                ########################################            
                 ######################################             
                 ######################################             
                  ##########################      #####             
                  ###  ###################           ##             
                  ##    ###############                             
                  #     ##  ##########                              
                            ##    ###                               
                                  ###                               
                                  ##                                
                                  #                                 

#315: SOON I WILL BE IMMORTAL

Thu, 2000 May 4

dean

                _                                            
            ,.-" "-.,                                        
           /   ===   \                                       
          /  =======  \                                      
       __|  (o)   (0)  |__                                   
      / _|    .---.    |_ \                                  
     | /.----/ O O \----.\ |                                 
      \/     |     |     \/                                  
      |                   |                                  
      |                   | ----- SOON I WILL BE IMMORTAL    
      |                   |       AND THEN THEY WILL ALL STOP
      _\   -.,_____,.-   /_       LAUGHING AT MY BOOTS       
  ,.-"  "-.,_________,.-"  "-.,                              
 /          |       |          \                             
|           l.     .l           |                            
|            |     |            |                            
l.           |     |           .l                            
 |           l.   .l           | \,                          
 l.           |   |           .l   \,                        
  |           |   |           |      \,                      
  l.          |   |          .l        |                     
   |          |   |          |         |                     
   |          |---|          |         |                     
   |          |   |          |         |                     
   /"-.,__,.-"\   /"-.,__,.-"\"-.,_,.-"\                     
  |            \ /            |         |                    
  |             |             |         |                    
   \__|__|__|__/ \__|__|__|__/ \_|__|__/                     

#324: THIS MEANS YOU

Sat, 2000 May 13

dean

         STOP STALKING ME          
           ___________    ____     
    ______/   \__//   \__/____\    
  _/   \_/  :           //____\\   
 /|      :  :  ..      /        \  
| |     ::     ::      \        /  
| |     :|     ||     \ \______/   
| |     ||     ||      |\  /  |    
 \|     ||     ||      |   / | \   
  |     ||     ||      |  / /_\ \  
  | ___ || ___ ||      | /  /    \ 
   \_-_/  \_-_/ | ____ |/__/      \
                _\_--_/    \      /
               /____             / 
              /     \           /  
              \______\_________/   
                                   
          THIS MEANS YOU           

#326: SHUT UP

Mon, 2000 May 15

dean

          _ _              
     _(,_/ \ \____________ 
     |`. \_@_@   `.     ,' 
     |\ \ .        `-,-'   
     || |  `-.____,-'      
     || /  /               
     |/ |  |   IF YOU HEARD
`..     /   \  MY SALARY   
  \\   /    |  YOU WOULD   
  ||  |      \ FAINT       
   \\ /-.    |             
   ||/  /_   |             
   \(_____)-'_)            
                           
             _ _           
____________/ / \_.)_      
`.     ,'   @_@_/ ,'|      
  `-.-'        , / /|      
     `-.____,-'  | ||      
              \  \ ||      
  FUCKING     |  | \|      
  SHUT UP    /   \     ,,' 
             |    \   //   
            /      |  ||   
            |    ,-\ //    
            |   _\  \||    
           (_`-(_____)/    

#329: WRITER AND EDITOR

Thu, 2000 May 18

dean

  ___  ___  ___  ___  ___.---------------.     
.'\__\'\__\'\__\'\__\'\__,`   .  ____ ___ \    
|\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ _:\   |`.  \  \___ \   
 \\'\__\'\__\'\__\'\__\'\_`.__|""`. \  \___ \  
  \\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __:                \ 
   \\'\__\'\__\'\__\ \__\'\_;-----------------`
    \\/   \/   \/   \/   \/ :                 |
     \|______________________;________________|
                                               
  I PICTURE EACH ONE OF THE CHOCOLATE SQUARES  
  AS ONE OF THE PEOPLE I HATE & THEN I WHEN I  
  EAT THEM THEY CRY & SCREAM & SO I CAN PROVE  
  ONCE & FOR ALL THAT I AM A VAMPIRE & SYSTEM  
  NINJA & A WRITER & EDITOR OF A FAMOUS EZINE  

#331: A BRIDGE TOO FAR

Sat, 2000 May 20

allegra, dean

                                    STOP CRANK CALLING ME            
I'M THINKING ABOUT ALLEGRA                  /                        
    \                                     ^^                         
     ^^      ..                                       ..             
             []                                       []             
           .:[]:_          ^^                       ,:[]:.           
         .: :[]: :-.         \                   ,-: :[]: :.         
       .: : :[]: : :`._  SHUT YOUR WORD HOLE  ,.': : :[]: : :.       
     .: : : :[]: : : : :-._               _,-: : : : :[]: : : :.     
 _..: : : : :[]: : : : : : :-._________.-: : : : : : :[]: : : : :-._ 
 _:_:_:_:_:_:[]:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:[]:_:_:_:_:_:_ 
 !!!!!!!!!!!![]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![]!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^[]^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^[]^^^^^^^^^^^^^
             []                                       []             
             []          SHUT UP ALL OF YOU           []             
             []                                       []             
  ~~^-~^_~^~/  \~^-~^~_~^-~_^~-^~_^~~-^~_~^~-~_~-^~_^/  \~^-~_~^-~~- 
 ~ _~~- ~^-^~-^~~- ^~_^-^~~_ -~^_ -~_-~~^- _~~_~-^_ ~^-^~~-_^-~ ~^   
    ~ ^- _~~_-  ~~ _ ~  ^~  - ~~^ _ -  ^~-  ~ _  ~~^  - ~_   - ~^_~  
      ~-  ^_  ~^ -  ^~ _ - ~^~ _   _~^~-  _ ~~^ - _ ~ - _ ~~^ -      
         ~^ -_ ~^^ -_ ~ _ - _ ~^~-  _~ -_   ~- _ ~^ _ -  ~ ^-        
             ~^~ - _ ^ - ~~~ _ - _ ~-^ ~ __- ~_ - ~  ~^_-            
                 ~ ~- ^~ -  ~^ -  ~ ^~ - ~~  ^~ - ~                  

#341: NIGHTMARES

Tue, 2000 May 30

dean

      _____|~~\_____      _____________     
  _-~               \    |    \             
  _-    | )     \    |__/   \   \           
  _-         )   |   |  |     \  \          
  _-    | )     /    |--|      |  |         
 __-_______________ /__/_______|  |_________
(                |----         |  |         
 `---------------'--\\\\      .`--'         
                              `||||         
                                            
         SLEEPY HEAD, SLEEPY HEAD           
         I DREAM OF JEANIE                  
         ALSO BONERS                        
         AND KIM BUT THOSE ARE NIGHTMARES   

#347: CALL THE ENCLAVE

Mon, 2000 Jun 5

dean

    /\  ____   CALL THE ENCLAVE
    <> ( oo ) /                
    <>_| ^^ |_                 
    <>    @   \                
   /~~\ . . _ |                
  /~~~~\    | |                
 /~~~~~~\/ _| |                
 |[][][]/ / [m]                
 |[][][[m]                     
 |[][][]|                      
 |[][][]|                      
 |[][][]|                      
 |[|--|]|                      
 |[|  |]|                      
 ========                      
==========                     
|[[    ]]|                     
==========                     

#348: WHY I HANG OUT WITH YOU

Tue, 2000 Jun 6

dean

DID I MENTION THAT I KNOW                      I DON'T KNOW WHY THE
KARATE AND CAN PUT YOU IN                      FUCK I HANG OUT WITH
A NON-LETHAL MODIFIED                                    YOU ANYWAY
CHOKE HOLD                                                         
                                                                   
       \                                                    /      
        \                                                  /       
                                                                   
          _                                              _         
     \. _(9>                                            <6)_ ,/    
      \==_)                                              (_==/     
       -'=                                                ='-      

#354: WAY OVER HERE

Mon, 2000 Jun 12

dean

                    ,,,,,,                                    
i miss kim      o#'9MMHb':'-,o,                               
        \    .oH":HH$' "' ' -*R&o,                            
         \  dMMM*""'`'      .oM"HM?.                          
          ,MMM'          "HLbd< ?&H\                          
         .:MH ."\          ` MM  MM&b                         
        . "*H    -        &MMMMMMMMMH:                        
        .    dboo        MMMMMMMMMMMM.                        
        .   dMMMMMMb      *MMMMMMMMMP.                        
        .    MMMMMMMP        *MMMMMP .                        
             `#MMMMM           MM6P ,                         
         '    `MMMP"           HM*`,                          
          '    :MM             .- , \                         
           '.   `#?..  .       ..'   \                        
              -.   .         .-    EVEN FUCKING WAY OVER      
                ''-.oo,oo.-''      HERE WE KNOW THAT YOU FREAK

#355: THINK

Tue, 2000 Jun 13

dean

J U S T                                                                    
                                                                           
         ,--.,                        .-=~\                    .-=~\       
        '.   \`'-..___|         -.  .'    )}                 .'    )}      
              `'--..__`'--.,____,/ /     //                 /     //       
                  _.--|"'---.-~~  {     //   _             {     /         
               _-^    |           |   .;'   (_)            |   .;'         
              /       |_          |_.-~     _    _         |_.-~           
             {        (_)       '-|/.-._   / \  / \.-._  '-|/.-._          
             |        |           |=/~-,\  `||  `| /~-,\   |=/~-,)         
             {,                   |{    })  ||   |{    })  |{_./{          
              \\                  ||    ||  ||   ||    ||  |/ ~^\\         
               \^.__              ||    |)  ||   ||    |)  ||    |)        
                ^-._^~~--..__.-^  ( ^)  /   ( ^) ( ^)  /   ( ^)  /         
                    ^~~--...-'     ""  (^)   ""   ""  (^)   ""  (^)        
                                                                           
                                                                      . . .
                                                                           
                                                                           
                          EVERYBODY FUCKING HATES YOU                      

#360: THE GAY SPIDER

Sun, 2000 Jun 18

dean

       \                                        
        \____________/                          
        /\__________/\                          
       / /\________/\ \                         
      / / /\______/\ \ \                        
     / / / /\____/\ \ \ \                       
    / / / / /\  /\ \ \ \ \                      
___/_/_/_/_/__\/__\_\_\_\_\____                 
   \ \ \ \ \  /\  / / / / /  |                  
    \ \ \ \ \/__\/ / / / /   |                  
     \ \ \ \/____\/ / / /    |                  
      \ \ \/______\/ / /     |                  
       \ \/________\/ /      |                  
        \/__________\/       * DICKS !!!!!!!!!!!
        /            \                          
       /              \                         
                       \                        

#365: YOU'RE A VAMPIRE

Fri, 2000 Jun 23

dean

SERIOUSLY DO YOU                             
THINK SHE'LL COME BACK                       
                                             
     \                                       
        _,_              __   __             
     ._(@I@)_.          /  \-/  \            
    .--{___}--.       ._\   |   /_.          
    .-/  Y  \-.       .__\__Y__/__.          
     /   |   \           _{___}_             
     \__/-\__/          ' (@I@) '            
                           ~^~               
                                             
                               \             
                                             
                    JESUS MAN GET OVER IT AND
                    GET YOURSELF A NEW WOMAN 
                                             
                    BUT THIS TIME DON'T TELL 
                    HER YOU'RE A VAMPIRE     

#369: ONE OF THESE DAYS

Tue, 2000 Jun 27

dean

    ^^      .-=-=-=-.  ^^                                               
^^        (`-=-=-=-=-`)         ^^                                      
        (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-`)  ^^         ^^                                
  ^^   (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`)   ^^                            ^^           
      ( `-=-=-=-(@)-=-=-` )      ^^                          \          
      (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`)  ^^                               I MISS KIM
      (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`)              ^^                             
      (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`)                      ^^                     
      (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`)  ^^                    \                    
       (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`)          ^^         SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH  
        (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-`)  ^^                 ^^                        
          (`-=-=-=-=-`)                         \                       
           `-=-=-=-=-`             JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS UP WITH THIS GUY
                                                                        
               ^^                                                       
                 \                                                      
             ONE OF THESE FUCKING DAYS                                  

#370: THESE ARE MY DEMANDS

Wed, 2000 Jun 28

dean

                                      ____               ____           
      _=______________________-_     /,,,,\_____________/,,,,\          
  =< ' | ========|______________    |,(  )/,,,,,,,,,,,,,\(  ),|         
    \| | ========|______________     \__,,,,___,,,,,___,,,,__/          
    /  | ========|/                    /,,,/(')\,,,/(')\,,,\            
   |   | ========|'                   |,,,,___ _____ ___,,,,|           
   |___| ________'                    |,,,/   \\o_o//   \,,,|           
  '.... /  |  |                       |,,|       |       |,,|           
 |......|  \  |                       |,,|   \__/|\__/   |,,|           
 |......|-____'                        \,,\     \_/     /,,/            
 |......|                               \__\___________/__/             
'.......|                    _____________/,,,,,,,,,,,,,\_____________  
|.......|                   / \,,,,,,,,,,,,,___________,,,,,,,,,,,,,/ \ 
|_______)                  (   ),,,,,,,,,,,/           \,,,,,,,,,,,(   )
                            \_/_________,,/             \,,_________\_/ 
                                                                        
                   OKAY LISTEN UP THESE ARE MY DEMANDS                  
                   I WANT ONE COPY OF FANGORIA (A RECENT                
                   ISSUE NOT THE OLD STUFF) AND THREE                   
                   BOXES OF MILK DUDS AND I WANT KIM UP                 
                   HERE FRONT AND CENTER OR THE TEDDY                   
                   BEAR GETS IT                                         

#372: WHAT DOES A WORM DO

Fri, 2000 Jun 30

dean

     __                            WHAT DOES A WORM DO             
     \_}                                                           
    .-./--.                                 \                      
   /# ^^   \                                   __                  
   |       |                                  ("_\   .-.   .-.   /)
    \     /                                      \\_//^\\_//^\\_// 
     `"`"`                                        `"`   `"`   `"`  
                                                                   
                                                                   
                                                                   
                      IT WRIGGLES ON THE GROUND AND MISSES KIM     
                      AND CALLS EVERYBODY LIARS                    
                                                                   
                     /                                             
                  __                                               
(\   .-.   .-.   /_")                                              
 \\_//^\\_//^\\_//                                                 
  `"`   `"`   `"`                                                  
                                                                   
                                                                   
                                                                   
     __               DING                                         
     \_}                                                           
    .-./--.           /                                            
   /# ^^   \       __                                              
   |       |      ("_\   .-.   .-.   /)                            
    \     /          \\_//^\\_//^\\_//                             
     `"`"`            `"`   `"`   `"`                              

#406: KIM STORIES

Thu, 2000 Aug 3

dean

 BLAH BLAH BLAH                            NO FUCKING DUH               
I NEVER SHUT UP                            I'M TIRED OF YOUR KIM STORIES
               \                         /                              
                 ______            _____                                
                 \     \.        ./    /|                               
                 |`\_____\      /_____/ |                               
                 |` |    |      |    | '|                               
    __-====-__   |  |    |      |    |  |                               
   (~<       >~>_|  |    |      |    |  |_ __-====-__                   
   {~~-====--~~:  \ |    |      |    | /  (~<       >~>                 
   !~~------~~/----`+----/      \----+----\~~-====--~~!                 
    \         \___     /         \     ___/         /                   
     >------\     \  <             >  /     /------<                    
    <_________________>           <_________________>                   

#415: GET THAT THING OUT OF MY FACE

Sat, 2000 Aug 12

dean

CHECK THIS OUT HOMEY I HAVE THESE FUNKY ASS SAMPLES UP ON MY WEB PAGE THAT
EVERYBODY READS AND REALLY LIKES AND WHICH MAKES ME A WEB DEVELOPER AND A 
CONSULTANT AND EVERYBODY LOVES ME AND EVERYTHING IS ALL HER FAULT         
                                                                          
      \                    OKAY FUCKFACE IF YOU WOULD GET YOUR THUMB OUT  
                           OF YOUR DUMB ASS MAYBE YOU'D REALIZE THAT      
      ___                  YOU'VE BLOCKED EVERYBODY FROM YOUR PAGES       
    ,'._,`.                                                               
   (-.___.-)               ALSO MAYBE YOU COULD GET THAT THING OUT OF MY  
   (-.___.-)               FACE                                           
   `-.___.-'                                         /                    
    ((  @ @|              .            __                                 
     \   ` |         ,\   |`.    @|   |  |      _.-._                     
    __`.`=-=mm===mm:: |   | |`.   |   |  |    ,'=` '=`.                   
   (    `-'|:/  /:/  `/  @| | |   |, @| @|   /---)W(---\                  
    \ \   / /  / /         @| |   '         (----| |----) ,~              
    |\ \ / /| / /            @|              \---| |---/  |               
    | \ V /||/ /                              `.-| |-,'   |               
    |  `-' |V /                                 \| |/    @'               
    |    , |-'                                 __| |__                    
    |    .;: _,-.                         ,--""..| |..""--.               
    ;;:::' "    )                        (`--::__|_|__::--')              
  ,-"      _,  /                          \`--...___...--'/               
 (    -:--'/  /                           /`--...___...--'\               
  "-._  `"'._/                           /`---...___...---'\              
      "-._   "---.                      (`---....___....---')             
       .' ",._ ,' )                     |`---....___....---'|             
       /`._|  `|  |                     (`---....___....---')             
      (   \    |  /                      \`---...___...---'/              
       `.  `,  ^""                        `:--...___...--;'               
         `.,'                               `-._______.-'                 

#419: I'M THE VICTIM

Wed, 2000 Aug 16

dean

.           ..         .           .       .           .           .           
      .         .            .          .       .                              
            .         ..xxxxxxxxxx....               .       .             .   
    .             MWMWMWWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMW                       .            
              IIIIMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMttii:        .           .        
 .      IIYVVXMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWxx...         .           .
     IWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMx..                  
   IIWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWBY%ZACH%AND%OWENMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMx..        .    
    ""MWMWMWMWMWM"""""""".  .:..   ."""""MWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWti.         
 .     ""   . `  .: . :. : .  . :.  .  . . .  """"MWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMti= 
        . .   :` . :   .  .'.' '....xxxxx...,'. '   ' ."""YWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMW+
     ; . ` .  . : . .' :  . ..XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx.    `     . "YWMWMWMWMWMWMW
.    .  .  .    . .   .  ..XXXXXXXXWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWXXXX.  .     .     """""""  
        ' :  : . : .  ...XXXXXWWW"   W88N88@888888WWWWWXX.   .   .       . .   
   . ' .    . :   ...XXXXXXWWW"    M88N88GGGGGG888^8M "WMBX.          .   ..  :
         :     ..XXXXXXXXWWW"     M88888WWRWWWMW8oo88M   WWMX.     .    :    . 
           "XXXXXXXXXXXXWW"       WN8888WWWWW  W8@@@8M    BMBRX.         .  : :
  .       XXXXXXXX=MMWW":  .      W8N888WWWWWWWW88888W      XRBRXX.  .       . 
     ....  ""XXXXXMM::::. .        W8@889WWWWWM8@8N8W      . . :RRXx.    .     
         ``...'''  MMM::.:.  .      W888N89999888@8W      . . ::::"RXV    .  : 
 .       ..'''''      MMMm::.  .      WW888N88888WW     .  . mmMMMMMRXx        
      ..' .            ""MMmm .  .       WWWWWWW   . :. :,miMM"""  : ""`    .  
   .                .       ""MMMMmm . .  .  .   ._,mMMMM"""  :  ' .  :        
               .                  ""MMMMMMMMMMMMM""" .  : . '   .        .     
          .              .     .    .                      .         .         
.                                         .          .         .               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                      -><-                                     
                                                                               
     I SEE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME AND NOT BUYING MY "I'M THE VICTIM" STANCE      
                                                                               
     TIME FOR MORE DRASTIC ACTION: THE "I'M REALLY AWFULLY FAT AND CAN'T       
                  MOVE AROUND WITHOUT OUTSIDE HELP" STANCE                     

#427: GROW SOME BALLS

Thu, 2000 Aug 24

dean

   ... MAYBE IF I BREAK MY ARM AND SET IT TWICE SHE'LL COME BACK TO ME ....
                                                                           
     /                                                                     
    /                                                                      
                                                                           
  O    _______________                                                     
 /\_  _|             |                                                     
_\__`[_______________|                                                     
] [ \, ][         ][                                                       
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                            MY GOD MAN GROW SOME BALLS ALREADY             
                                                                           
                                                               \           
                                                                \          
                                                                           
                                                                 \o/       
                                                                  |        
                                                                 / \       

#1137: NEW MARKETING TECHNIQUE

Sun, 2002 Aug 4

dean

                   /~@@~\,                           
 _______ . _\_\___/\ __ /\___|_|_ . _______          
~|    |\|=|======\\______//======|=|/|    |~         
 |_   |    \      |      |      /    |    |          
  \==-|     \     | DEAN |     /     |----|~~)       
  |   |      |    |      |    |      |____/~/        
  |   |       \____\____/____/      /    / /         
  |   |         {----------}       /____/ /          
  |___|        /~~~~~~~~~~~~\     |_/~|_|/           
   \_/        [/~~~~~||~~~~~\]     /__|\             
   | |         |    ||||    |     (/|[[\)            
   [_]        |     |  |     |                       
              |_____|  |_____|   BZZZ                
 BONK         (_____)  (_____)          BURP         
              |     |  |     | BOOP                  
      DONK    |     |  |     |                       
              |/~~~\|  |/~~~\|       CALL THE ENCLAVE
 HONK         /|___|\  /|___|\                       
             <_______><_______>                      

#1181: SAVE YOUR SOUL

Tue, 2002 Sep 17

dean

    ****                                                
    ****                                                
    ****                                                
************                                            
************                                            
    ****                                                
    ****                                                
    ****          IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO SAVE YOUR SOUL.
    ****                                                
    ****          DEDICATE YOUR LIFE TO CHRIST TODAY.   
    ****                                                
    ****          ALSO TELL KIM TO COME BACK TO ME.     
    ****                                                

#1189: GAY IN SPACE

Wed, 2002 Sep 25

dean

 ___________________          _-_                              
 \==============_=_/ ____.---'---`---.____  GAY IN SPACE PEOPLE
             \_ \    \----._________.----/                     
               \ \   /  /    `-_-'                             
           __,--`.`-'..'-_                                     
          /____          ||               CALL THE ENCLAVE     
               `--.____,-'                                     
                                                               
                -.        CRANK CALLS      .-                  
              _..-'(                       )`-.._              
           ./'. '||\\.       (\_/)       .//||` .`\.           
        ./'.|'.'||||\\|..    )o o(    ..|//||||`.`|.`\.        
     ./'..|'.|| |||||\`````` '`"'` ''''''/||||| ||.`|..`\.     
   ./'.||'.|||| ||||||||||||.     .|||||||||||| ||||.`||.`\.   
  /'|||'.|||||| ||||||||||||{     }|||||||||||| ||||||.`|||`\  
 '.|||'.||||||| ||||||||||||{     }|||||||||||| |||||||.`|||.` 
'.||| ||||||||| |/'   ``\||``     ''||/''   `\| ||||||||| |||.`
|/' \./'     `\./         \!|\   /|!/         \./'     `\./ `\|
V    V         V          }' `\ /' `{          V         V    V
`    `         `               V               '         '    '
                                                               
                    MY PEOPLE CALL IT GUANO                    

#1219: QUIET YOU

Fri, 2002 Oct 25

dean

                       |>>>                           
                       |                              
                   _  _|_  _                          
                  |;|_|;|_|;|                         
                  \\.    .  /                         
                   \\:  .  /                          
                    ||:   |                           
                    ||:.  |                           
                    ||:  .|        i miss kim         
                    ||:   |       \,/                 
                    ||: , |            /`\            
                    ||:   |              quiet you    
                    ||: . |                           
                   _||_   |                           
           __ ----~    ~`---,              ___        
---__ ,--~'                  ~~----_____-~'   `~----~~
     `                                                

#1431: ALT FAN NEWSGROUP ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE

Sun, 2003 May 25

dean, usenet

      ___________________________________             
     |.-.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.-.|  WHO       
     ||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||  NEWGROUPED
     ||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||  DEAN      
     ||_|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|_||  STARK     
     [_>_______________________________<_]            
     ||"|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|""|"||            
     || |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  | ||            
     ||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||            
     ||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||            
     ||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||            
     ||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||            
     ||(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)(_)||            
jgs  |'-'--'--'--'--'--'--'--'--'--'--'-'|            
     `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""`            

#1722: ALPHA WAFFLE CANCEL FAQ

Thu, 2004 Mar 11

dean

                                      ,o                        
                                  }-=')-<                       
          .                                                     
         :                           ^^^                        
        (_)              ___         |||                        
         .  :          _(   ")       `+'                        
         . o          (  _)\ .{}{}}.  |                         
          .            )/ "( {}-_-{}  |  ALPHA WAFFLE CANCEL FAQ
        O .          .-_) _) `,{=}._  |                         
        : o.        //   (.---{{{}}_)( \                        
          .   (.___/(_, .(   "-`}'-   T \                       
         O     "--._ |`- / \ _     _ /|  )                      
         .o         / .  | |`---^---'||-"                       
---.-""."-._____.-.'`-._.\^|\_  .:_/_|_.---"-""-.-."-.____.-.__ 
        .       :   ._  /\ ("-.___.-( |                   ,-.   
         :     (      .'  \_)        \|7                 .' /   
                :    (     \          |.                /  <    
                 \    \    _`.      ) . "-._          .'/  |    
                  `. )'`.-" /| /-._  )'    )""--.__.-','  /     
                    `-._   < `(    ""--.__  )'        _  \      
                        `.  |             """....---"" "._)  ojo

#1847: 91 NEWSGROUPS

Wed, 2004 Jul 14

dean

                 ,                                           
 \.             /J         ..---..      .-```-.              
  L`\   \-.__.-`  L    .-``       ``-. /       \             
  |  \   \        J  .`   _.          `.       J    D E A N  
  J   \   `\       L/   /`  \    .   \  \      |             
  |    \    `,     |    ``-.o\  /_.-``\  L     L    S T A R K
  L     `\   |     J    ,    `/\`    ,   |    J              
 J        `\ /      L  /(     ``     )\  J    |     L I C K S
 |      ,   `\      |  `\`---.....--`/`  |    L              
 L      |     `     |    \  (__Y__) /    L-.-'        D I C K
J       |\          |     `-.____.-`    /  __                
|       | \         |`.               .`  (  )               
 `-._.-`   \        |  `-..       ..-`     `-`               
            `-.___.-`      ``---``                           

FART BACK
IS THIS ALL THERE IS?
CHAT#AAF @ EFnet on IRC
FOLLOW NEW!Conspiracy Duck @ Twitter
TOYS
FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Sat, 2018 Sep 15)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe