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#47: YOUR SINS

Tue, 1999 Aug 10

jesus

                               |~~~~~|        _____       _____ 
         _____                  \~~~/ /~~~~\ /   __|     /   __|
        |  =  |\                 | | |  o  / \  /  _  _  \  /   
        |  =  | \           |~|  | | | /~~~   \ \  || ||  \ \   
        |  =  |  |          \ \_/  / | |___    \ \ ||_||   \ \  
 _______|  =  |__|____       \____/  |_____||\__| ||___||\__| | 
|          =          |\                    \____/      \____/  
| =================== | \                                       
|_______   =   _______|  |         DIED FOR YOUR FATNESS        
 \      |  =  |\       \ |                                      
  \_____|  =  | \_______\|                                      
        |  =  |  |                                              
        |  =  |  |                                              
        |  =  |  |                                              
        |  =  |  |                                              
        |  =  |  |                                              
        |  =  |  |                                              
        |_____|  | dg                                           
        \      \ |                                              
         \______\|                                              

#49: FOR YOUR SHINS

Thu, 1999 Aug 12

crucicaption, jesus

             .======.                                
             | INRI |                                
             |      | I DIED FOR YOUR SHINS          
             |      |          OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
    .========'      '========.                       
    |   _      xxxx      _   |                       
    |  /_;-.__ / _\  _.-;_\  |                       
    |     `-._`'`_/'`.-'     |                       
    '========.`\   /`========'                       
             | |  / |                                
             |/-.(  |                                
             |\_._\ |                                
             | \ \`;|                                
             |  > |/|                                
             | / // |                                
             | |//  |                                
             | \(\  |                                
             |  ``  |                                
             |      |                                
             |      |                                
             |      |                                
             |      |                                
 \\jgs _  _\\| \//  |//_   _ \// _                   
^ `^`^ ^`` `^ ^` ``^^`  `^^` `^ `^                   

#260: FROM UP HERE

Fri, 2000 Mar 10

crucicaption, jesus

             .======.                                    
             | INRI |                                    
             |      |     I CAN SEE MY HOUSE FROM UP HERE
             |      |                                    
    .========'      '========.                           
    |   _      xxxx      _   |                           
    |  /_;-.__ / _\  _.-;_\  |                           
    |     `-._`'`_/'`.-'     |                           
    '========.`\   /`========'                           
             | |  / |                                    
             |/-.(  |                                    
             |\_._\ |                                    
             | \ \`;|                                    
             |  > |/|                                    
             | / // |                                    
             | |//  |                                    
             | \(\  |                                    
             |  ``  |                                    
             |      |                                    
             |      |                                    
             |      |                                    
             |      |                                    
 \\jgs _  _\\| \//  |//_   _ \// _                       
^ `^`^ ^`` `^ ^` ``^^`  `^^` `^ `^                       

#361: KING OF THE JEWS

Mon, 2000 Jun 19

jesus

                      ~#############oo----                        
                  __o#~~#####~~~#####~#_                          
                       #####o_o######o##     I AM KING OF THE JEWS
_---_                 o#########~~~~~####o_                       
~___~                 #######~~    ~~#~~~~~                       
  ~##_                #####~ o_      _#oo                         
    ##_             _o####   ####o##-####                         
     ##_        __######~~   #~~  ~~  ~~~__                       
      ##     _o#########                 ~##o_                    
       ##  _o###########_            ~    ####o_                  
        ##_########~~####            -    -######o__              
         ###~##~~~~  ####            _     ########~~             
          ##         ####                  #~~~~~~~               
           ##        ####           ~      #                      
            #o       ####          -      o~                      
             #o      ####-        ~      o~                       
              #o     ###~              _#~                        
               ~    _###             -#~                          
                  _o####_ _           #                           
               _oo######~ #    _o-~~#_~o                          
   ____ ____oo######~#:oo##oo_#~    o#####o__                     

#539: JESUS HATES YOU

Thu, 2000 Dec 14

jesus

                                                                     
       .      .             . .     .        .          .            
  .                 .                    .                .          
                         JESUS HATES YOU                      .      
              .           .               .        .             .   
     .            .                 .                                
 .         .         .   . :::::+::::...      .          .      .    
        .      .    ..::.:::+++++:::+++++:+::.    .     .            
                 .:.  ..:+:..+|||+..::|+|+||++|:.             .      
     .   .    :::....:::::::::++||||O||O#OO|OOO|+|:.    .            
.      .    .:..:..::+||OO#|#|OOO+|O||####OO###O+:+|+                
          .:...:+||O####O##||+|OO|||O#####O#O||OO|++||:     .    .   
         ..::||+++|+++++|+::|+++++O#O|OO|||+++..:OOOOO|+  .          
  .     +++||++:.:++:..+#|. ::::++|+++||++O##O+:.++|||#O+    .       
     . ++++++++...:+:+:.:+: ::..+|OO++O|########|++++||##+           
   .  :::+++|O+||+::++++:::+:::+++::+|+O###########OO|:+OO       .  .
      +:+++|OO+|||O:+:::::.. .||O#OOO||O||#@###@######:+|O|  .       
     ::+:++|+|O+|||++|++|:::+O#######O######O@############O          
   . ++++: .+OO###O++++++|OO++|O#@@@####@##################+         
     ::::::::::::::::::::++|O+..+#|O@@@@#@###O|O#O##@#OO####     .   
   . :. .:.:. .:.:.: +.::::::::  . +#:#@:#@@@#O||O#O@:###:#| .       
                    `. .:.:.:.:. . :.:.:%::%%%:::::%::::%:::         
.                                      `.:.:.:.:   :.:.:.:.  .   .   
    .                                                                

#695: NO

Sat, 2001 May 19

jesus

          NO I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE RAPTURE OF JESUS       
                                                  __          
               __________                  __,___/  ",",      
        ___.--"          "\'.         ____/  l   \    ",'-,   
------f"               // \\\        \  (l\ \    \     \ \",  
      |                    |||       /   u       |      \ \ \ 
      |                    |||     _ )          /       | |  \
  ----L_-XXX-.             .|'    / U          <        | |  |
              "\   -<_____///     \           6 )       | |  |
                \___)     -"       '.       -.<"       / /   |
                                    |'.___  |       _._."   / 
                                    |     ./     _."."   _."  
                                   /      |"----"     _."     
                                 jjs       \                  

#723: CHOKES IT ON DOWN

Sat, 2001 Jun 16

jesus

##########   ##########    ##########     ###       ###    ##########  
##########   ##########   #############   ###       ###   #############
       ###   ###          ###             ###       ###   ###          
       ###   ###           ##             ###       ###    ##          
       ###   ###            ###           ###       ###     ###        
       ###   ######          ####         ###       ###      ####      
       ###   ######            ####       ###       ###       ####     
       ###   ###                 ####     ###       ###         ####   
       ###   ###                   ####   ###       ###          ####  
       ###   ###                     ###  ###       ###            ### 
   ######    ##########    #############   ###########     ########### 
   #####     ##########   #############      #######      ###########  
                                                                       
                   CHOKES IT ON DOWN FOR YOUR SINS                     

#729: SKIN LOTION

Fri, 2001 Jun 22

crucicaption, jesus

      _      xxxx      _     
     /_;-.__ / _\  _.-;_\    
        `-._`'`_/'`.-'       
            `\   /`          
             |  /            
            /-.(             
            \_._\            
             \ \`;           
              > |/           
             / //            
             |//             
      jgs    \(\             
                             
      FUCK OW FUCK SHIT      
                             
AT THE VERY LEAST I COULD GET
 SOME NICE SKIN LOTION TO RUB
          ON MY TITS         

#751: MOP

Sat, 2001 Jul 14

crucicaption, jesus

                           |~~~~~~~|                            
                           |       |                            
                           |       |                            
                           |       |                            
                           |       |                            
                           |       |                            
|~.\\\_\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xx~~~         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/_//;~|
|  \  o \_         ,XXXXX),                         _..-~ o /  |
|    ~~\  ~-.     XXXXX`)))),                 _.--~~   .-~~~   |
 ~~~~~~~`\   ~\~~~XXX' _/ ';))     |~~~~~~..-~     _.-~ ~~~~~~~ 
          `\   ~~--`_\~\, ;;;\)__.---.~~~      _.-~             
            ~-.       `:;;/;; \          _..-~~                 
                                                                
               ~-._      `''        /-~-~                       
                   `\              /  /                         
                     |         ,   | |                          
                      |  '        /  |                          
                       \/;          |                           
                        ;;          |                           
                        `;   .       |                          
                        |~~~-----.....|                         
                       | \             \                        
                      | /\~~--...__    |                        
                      (|  `\       __-\|                        
                      ||    \_   /~    |                        
                      |)     \~-'      |                        
                       |      | \      '                        
                       |      |  \    :                         
                        \     |  |    |                         
                         |    )  (    )                         
                          \  /;  /\  |                          
                          |    |/   |                           
                          |    |   |                            
                           \  .'  ||                            
                           |  |  | |                            
                           (  | |  |                            
                           |   \ \ |                            
                           || o `.)|                            
                           |`\\\\) |                            
                           |       |                            
                           |       |                            
                           |       |                            
                                                                
                             DUDE                               
                                                                
                  I JUST TOTALLY DUMPED MYSELF                  
                                                                
                            MOP PLZ                             

#1257: WTF

Mon, 2002 Dec 2

crucicaption, jesus

             .======.             
             |      |             
             | WTF  |             
             |      |             
    .========'      '========.    
    |   _      xxxx      _   |    
    |  /_;-.__ / _\  _.-;_\  |    
    |     `-._`'`_/'`.-'     |    
    '========.`\   /`========'    
             | |  / |             
             |/-.(  |             
             |\_._\ |             
             | \ \`;|             
             |  > |/|             
             | / // |             
             | |//  |             
             | \(\  |             
             |  ``  |             
             |      |             
             |      |             
             |      |             
             |      |             
 \\jgs _  _\\| \//  |//_   _ \// _
^ `^`^ ^`` `^ ^` ``^^`  `^^` `^ `^

#1396: HAPPY EASTER

Sun, 2003 Apr 20

crucicaption, jesus

                    .-=====-.                        
                    | .""". |                        
                    | |   | |                        
                    | |   | |                        
                    | '---' |                        
                    |       |                        
                    |       |                        
 .-================-'       '-================-.     
j|  _                                          |     
g|.'o\                                    __   |     
s| '-.'.                                .'o.`  |     
 '-==='.'.=========-.       .-========.'.-'===-'     
        '.`'._    .===,     |     _.-' /             
          '._ '-./  ,//\   _| _.-'  _.'              
             '-.| ,//'  \-'  `   .-'                 
                `//'_`--;    ;.-'                    
                  `\._ ;|    |   I HOPE YOU FUCKERS  
                     \`-'  . |   REALIZE HOW PAINFUL 
                     |_.-'-._|   AND HUMILIATING THIS
                     \  _'_  /   IS                  
                     |; -:- |                        
                     || -.- \    YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCKS
                     |;     .\                       
                     / `'\'`\-;                      
                    ;`   '. `_/                      
                    |,`-._;  .;                      
                    `;\  `.-'-;                      
                     | \   \  |                      
                     |  `\  \ |                      
                     |   )  | |                      
                     |  /  /` /                      
                     | |  /|  |                      
                     | | / | /                       
                     | / |/ /|                       
                     | \ / / |                       
                     |  /o | |                       
                     |  |_/  |                       
                     |       |                       
                     |       |                       
                     |       |                       
                     |       |                       
                     |       |                       
                     |       |                       
                     |  TAF  |                       
                     '-=====-'                       

#1745: JESUS: THE DAWN OF REALIZATION

Sat, 2004 Apr 3

jesus

YOU'VE SEEN THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST                             
                                                                      
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST YET                        
BUT HAVE A STRONG OPINION ON IT                                       
                                                                      
WELL GET READY !!!!!! HERE COMES ........                             
JESUS: THE DAWN OF REALIZATION                                        
                                                                      
                                                                      
                    I'VE BEEN PUT ON THIS DIRTY SHITBALL OF A PLANET  
                     TO DO WHAT ??!?!?!?!? YOU CAN'T REALLY BE SERIOUS
                                                                      
                       HOW ABOUT FUCK YOU AND I'M OPENING A STARBUCKS 
         . : : : .                                                    
       .:`.  !  ,':.        /                                         
      .. _ ,-'-. _ ..      /                                          
      :   ; _,_ ;   :     /                                           
       ,':_(._.)_:`.  ___/                                            
         /|( - )|\                                                    
        / ////\\\ \                                                   
       / /(\\///)\ \                                                  
       \"""""""""""/                                                  
        \         /                                                   
         `-.   .-'                                                    
    ,\``,`/     \ ,',,/                                               
    ''`\`'---^---`'`\,`hjw                                            

#2775: DIVINE ALLERGIES

Sun, 2007 Jan 28

jesus

         |                                             
       - * -                                           
         |                                             
 ___           ___          __       __      __        
(("))         /(")\        {')\     {')\    {')\       
((-)) ,,o,,,, |\^/|        |-\ \    |-\ \   |-\ \      
| @ |  \___/  | o |       B|  \_\  D|  \_\ Q|  \_\     
|___|  /\ /\  |___|        |___|    |___|   |____|  ldb
                                                       
           JESUS IS ALLERGIC TO MY DICK                

#3673: JESUS' DILEMMA

Tue, 2009 Jul 14

jesus

                                   |~~~~~~~|                            
                                   |       |                            
                                   |       |                            
                                   |       |                            
                                   |       |                            
                                   |       |                            
        |~.\\\_\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xx~~~         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/_//;~|
        |  \  o \_         ,XXXXX),                         _..-~ o /  |
        |    ~~\  ~-.     XXXXX`)))),                 _.--~~   .-~~~   |
         ~~~~~~~`\   ~\~~~XXX' _/ ';))     |~~~~~~..-~     _.-~ ~~~~~~~ 
                  `\   ~~--`_\~\, ;;;\)__.---.~~~      _.-~             
                    ~-.       `:;;/;; \          _..-~~                 
                       ~-._      `''        /-~-~                       
                           `\              /  /                         
                         /   |         ,   | |                          
SOMEBODY CHANGE MY DIAPER     |  '        /  |                          
I JUST MADE A STINKY           \/;          |                           
                                ;;          |                           
                                `;   .       |                          
                                |~~~-----.....|                         
                               | \             \                        
                              | /\~~--...__    |                        
                              (|  `\       __-\|                        
                              ||    \_   /~    |                        
                              |)     \~-'      |                        
                               |      | \      '                        
                               |      |  \    :                         
                                \     |  |    |                         
                                 |    )  (    )                         
                                  \  /;  /\  |                          
                                  |    |/   |                           
                                  |    |   |                            
                                   \  .'  ||                            
                                   |  |  | |                            
                                   (  | |  |                            
                                   |   \ \ |                            
                                   || o `.)|                            
                                   |`\\\\) |                            
                                   |       |                            
                                   |       |                            
                                   |       |                            

#4620: HANGIN' WITH JESUS: PART ONE

Thu, 2012 Feb 16

hangin with jesus*, jesus

                    .-=====-.                                                  
                    | .""". |                                                  
                    | |   | |                                                  
                    | |   | |                                                  
                    | '---' |                                                  
                    |       |                                                  
                    |       |                                                  
 .-================-'       '-================-.                               
j|  _                                          |                               
g|.'o\                                    __   |                               
s| '-.'.                                .'o.`  |                               
 '-==='.'.=========-.       .-========.'.-'===-'                               
        '.`'._    .===,     |     _.-' /                                       
          '._ '-./  ,//\   _| _.-'  _.'                                        
             '-.| ,//'  \-'  `   .-'                                           
                `//'_`--;    ;.-'                                              
                  `\._ ;|    |                                                 
                     \`-'  . |   VAGINAS LOOK KIND OF STRANGE OUT OF CONTEXT   
                     |_.-'-._|   I MEAN DURING SEX THEY'RE COOL AND ALL BUT    
                     \  _'_  /   A RANDOM CLOSEUP SHOT OF A VAGINA "AT REST" IS
                     |; -:- |    JUST A LITTLE AWKWARD AND SOMEWHAT UNAPPEALING
                     || -.- \                                                  
                     |;     .\   IN MY HUMBLE OPINION ANYWAY                   
                     / `'\'`\-;                                                
                    ;`   '. `_/  I'M JESUS, I DIED FOR YOUR SINS FUCKHEADS     
                    |,`-._;  .;  SHOW ME YOUR PRICKS                           
                    `;\  `.-'-;                                                
                     | \   \  |                                                
                     |  `\  \ |                                                
                     |   )  | |                                                
                     |  /  /` /                                                
                     | |  /|  |                                                
                     | | / | /                                                 
                     | / |/ /|                                                 
                     | \ / / |                                                 
                     |  /o | |                                                 
                     |  |_/  |                                                 
                     |       |                                                 
                     |       |                                                 
                     |       |                                                 
                     |       |                                                 
                     |       |                                                 
                     |       |                                                 
                     |       |                                                 

#4621: HANGIN' WITH JESUS: PART TWO

Fri, 2012 Feb 17

hangin with jesus*, jesus

                       .-=====-.                   
                       | .""". |                   
                       | |   | |                   
                       | |   | |                   
                       | '---' |                   
                       |       |                   
                       |       |                   
    .-================-'       '-================-.
   j|  _                                          |
   g|.'o\                                    __   |
   s| '-.'.                                .'o.`  |
    '-==='.'.=========-.       .-========.'.-'===-'
           '.`'._    .===,     |     _.-' /        
             '._ '-./  ,//\   _| _.-'  _.'         
                '-.| ,//'  \-'  `   .-'            
                   `//'_`--;    ;.-'               
                     `\._ ;|    |                  
                        \`-'  . |                  
THE BEER THEY SERVE     |_.-'-._|                  
UP HERE TASTES LIKE     \  _'_  /                  
JUDAS ISCARIOT'S CUM    |; -:- |                   
                        || -.- \                   
OR POSSIBLY MARY        |;     .\                  
MAGDALENE'S DIARRHEA    / `'\'`\-;                 
                       ;`   '. `_/                 
                       |,`-._;  .;                 
OH SHIT IT'S PABST     `;\  `.-'-;                 
                        | \   \  |                 
                        |  `\  \ |                 
                        |   )  | |                 
                        |  /  /` /                 
                        | |  /|  |                 
                        | | / | /                  
                        | / |/ /|                  
                        | \ / / |                  
                        |  /o | |                  
                        |  |_/  |                  
                        |       |                  
                        |       |                  
                        |       |                  
                        |       |                  
                        |       |                  
                        |       |                  
                        |       |                  

#4622: HANGIN' WITH JESUS: PART THREE

Sat, 2012 Feb 18

hangin with jesus*, jesus

                    .-=====-.                                                 
                    | .""". |                                                 
                    | |   | |                                                 
                    | |   | |                                                 
                    | '---' |                                                 
                    |       |                                                 
                    |       |                                                 
 .-================-'       '-================-.                              
j|  _                                          |                              
g|.'o\                                    __   |                              
s| '-.'.                                .'o.`  |                              
 '-==='.'.=========-.       .-========.'.-'===-'                              
        '.`'._    .===,     |     _.-' /                                      
          '._ '-./  ,//\   _| _.-'  _.'                                       
             '-.| ,//'  \-'  `   .-'                                          
                `//'_`--;    ;.-'                                             
                  `\._ ;|    |                                                
                     \`-'  . |  I REMEMBER THIS ONE DAY, I SPENT THE          
                     |_.-'-._|  ENTIRE AFTERNOON SCRAPING MY PIPE AND WATCHING
                     \  _'_  /  VIDEOS OF SOME FAT GUY EATING THE WORLD'S     
                     |; -:- |   HOTTEST CHILE PEPPERS ON YOUTUBE              
                     || -.- \                                                 
                     |;     .\  WHILE EATING THEM HE MADE DISGUSTING SOUNDS   
                     / `'\'`\-; THAT REMINDED ME OF PIGEONS FUCKING           
                    ;`   '. `_/                                               
                    |,`-._;  .; I WILL NEVER REGRET THAT FINEST OF DAYS       
                    `;\  `.-'-;                                               
                     | \   \  |                                               
                     |  `\  \ |                                               
                     |   )  | |                                               
                     |  /  /` /                                               
                     | |  /|  |                                               
                     | | / | /                                                
                     | / |/ /|                                                
                     | \ / / |                                                
                     |  /o | |                                                
                     |  |_/  |                                                
                     |       |                                                
                     |       |                                                
                     |       |                                                
                     |       |                                                
                     |       |                                                
                     |       |                                                
                     |       |                                                
                     '-=====-'                                                

#5251: A NEED FOR RAW MATERIALS IS EXPRESSED FORCEFULLY

Fri, 2013 Nov 8

jesus

                           |~~~~~~~|                                        
                           |       |                                        
                         |~~~~~~~~~~~|                                      
                         |  I N R I  |                                      
                         |___________|                                      
                           |       |                                        
|~.\\\_\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xx~~~         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/_//;~|            
|  \  o \_         ,XXXXX),                         _..-~ o /  |            
|    ~~\  ~-.     XXXXX`)))),                 _.--~~   .-~~~   |            
 ~~~~~~~`\   ~\~~~XXX' _/ ';))     |~~~~~~..-~     _.-~ ~~~~~~~             
          `\   ~~--`_\~\, ;;;\)__.---.~~~      _.-~                         
            ~-.       `:;;/;; \          _..-~~                             
               ~-._      `''        /-~-~                                   
                   `\              /  /                                     
                     |         ,   | |                                      
                      |  '        /  |                                      
                       \/;          |                                       
                        ;;          |                                       
                        `;   .       |                                      
                        |~~~-----.....|                                     
                       | \             \                                    
                      | /\~~--...__    |                                    
                      (|  `\       __-\|                                    
                      ||    \_   /~    |                                    
                      |)     \~-'      |                                    
                       |      | \      '                                    
                       |      |  \    :                                     
                        \     |  |    |                                     
                         |    )  (    )                                     
                          \  /;  /\  |                                      
                          |    |/   |                                       
                          |    |   |                                        
                           \  .'  ||                                        
                           |  |  | |                                        
                           (  | |  |                                        
                           |   \ \ |                                        
                           || o `.)|                GET OFF THE CROSS       
                           |`\\\\) |                 WE NEED THE WOOD       
                           |       |                                        
                           |       |                                  \     
                        tx |       |                                   \____

#5289: CHRIST BACK IN CHRISTMAS

Mon, 2013 Dec 16

christmas, jesus

     . : : : .                                                            
   .:`.  !  ,':.     NOW SERIOUSLY                                        
  .. _ ,-'-. _ ..                                                         
  :   ; _,_ ;   :    CAN WE PLEASE PUT THE CHRIST BACK IN CHRISTMAS PEOPLE
   ,':_(._.)_:`.                                                          
     /|( - )|\                                                            
    / ////\\\ \                                                           
   / /(\\///)\ \                                                          
   \"""""""""""/                                                          
    \         /      HOLY JESUS ***HURF***                                
     `-.   .-'                                                            
,\``,`/     \ ,',,/                                                       
''`\`'---^---`'`\,`hjw                                                    

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