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#1831: CASSINI

Mon, 2004 Jun 28

cassini, nasa

                                         _.oo.                          
                 _.u[[/;:,.         .odMMMMMM'                          
              .o888UU[[[/;:-.  .o@P^    MMM^                            
             oN88888UU[[[/;::-.        dP^   CASSINI TO PEEK UP SATURN'S
            dNMMNN888UU[[[/;:--.   .o@P^   SKIRT, RUN AWAY WHEN THE     
           ,MMMMMMN888UU[[/;::-. o@^     POLICE ARE CALLED              
           NNMMMNN888UU[[[/~.o@P^                                       
           888888888UU[[[/o@^-..                                        
          oI8888UU[[[/o@P^:--..   FOLKS WE SHOULD ALL BE GRATEFUL THAT  
       .@^  YUU[[[/o@^;::---..   IT'S SATURN, NOT EARTH, THAT NOW HAS   
     oMP     ^/o@P^;:::---..    TO DEAL WITH THE NIGHTMARE OF CASSINI   
  .dMMM    .o@^ ^;::---...    POTENTIALLY CRASHING INTO IT AND CAUSING  
 dMMMMMMM@^`       `^^^^    A NUCLEAR DISASTER THE LIKES OF WHICH WE    
YMMMUP^                   HAVE NEVER KNOWN !!!!!!!                      
 ^^                                                                     
                                                                        
                     YES I'M AN ANTINUKE ENVIRONMENTALIST AND THEREFORE 
                   NOT ONLY NOT VERY KNOWLEDGEABLE BUT RATHER FIXATED   
                 ON TILTING AT MY WINDMILLS                             

#2488: CASSINI-HUYGENS

Sun, 2006 Apr 16

cassini, nasa

             ___       ,-`.                                                
         .-~~   ~~-.,-~ _~    WHY COULDN'T CASSINI JUST WRESTLE WITH SATURN
       #`           `._-     WHILE HUYGENS KICKED TITAN'S ASS AND THEN     
      .`           _-~.     THEY'D BOTH TAKE THEIR LUNCH MONEY AND RUN     
  rwb |          _-   |    BEFORE EITHER OF THEM CAUGHT ON                 
      `       _-~     '                                                    
  . _-~`. _-~       .'                                                     
 ,-' _,-~`-__   __-'                                                       
,.-~`   .    ~~~                                                           

#3396: ENCELADUS

Fri, 2008 Oct 10

cassini, nasa

             ___       ,-`.                                               
         .-~~   ~~-.,-~ _~                                                
       #`           `._-                                                  
      .`           _-~.    CASSINI FLIES WITHIN 25 KILOMETERS OF ENCELADUS
      |          _-   |                                                   
  rwb `       _-~     '                                                   
  . _-~`. _-~       .'     ENCELADUS DECLARES WAR                         
 ,-' _,-~`-__   __-'                                                      
,.-~`   .    ~~~                                                          

#4183: ARSENIC-BASED BORINGNESS

Mon, 2010 Dec 6

nasa

                                _.-"""-._                               
                          _    /     (#\ \                              
  _.-"""-._           .nNNNNNn:       \#) :                             
 /     (#\ \_.-"""-._/NNNNN(#\N\         /                              
:       \#) |.:|||:.|NNNNNNN\#)N"-.___.-"                               
 \         /|||||(#\|\NNNNNNNNN/                                        
  "-.___.-"||||||\#)||"*NNNNN*"   JESUS CHRIST GUYS IT'S JUST SHIT WITH 
           \|||||||||/            MOST PHOSPHOROUS REPLACED WITH ARSENIC
            `":|||:"'                                                   
            .-"   "-.                                                   
          .'     (#\ `.           THIS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE THE TOP 100    
          :       \#) :           JERKABLE SCIENCE HEADLINES LIST       
          `.         .'                                                 
             "-...-"                                                    
                     Ojosh!ro                                           

#4543: GOODBYE CURIOSITY

Thu, 2011 Dec 1

nasa

                      _____                                                
                     /     '`-._                                           
                    |    -.     \   NO I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THOSE           
        _.,--.      '----- |    /   CRAPPY MARS ROVERS AND THEN ONE        
    ,-''      `.          /   ,'    HAS BEEN PUT DOWN LIKE OLD YELLER      
  /'     _--\  |     ___  |  /                                             
 |      '   |  |,.'''   ''--:_        GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEAD, NASA:    
 |      ,'   \ |       ,--..  `.                                           
  \____/    /'       _(     '.  '\      NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR     
           /      /' '-.     . ____     GODDAMN SPACE SHIT NASA            
           |     |      \  O,-'    '\                                      
           |     `\        ,         |   NOT EVEN ME AND I WAS THE LAST    
            \   |   \.   O /       _/    FUCKING ONE IN THE COUNTRY        
           __\,.\     `-'''\__,. -' |                                      
          |  _,.-=.               ,/                                       
VJ        `.____,' \          _,-'    (NOTE: THE ACCOMPANYING ASCII ART    
                    '--------'      IS NOT RELATED BUT WHO'D NOTICE ANYWAY)

#4594: THE NASA UNICORN

Sat, 2012 Jan 21

nasa

    \.                                                        
     \'.      ;.                                              
      \ '. ,--''-.~-~-'-,                                     
       \,-' ,-.   '.~-~-~~,     BELIEVE IN ME AND I WILL      
     ,-'   (###)    \-~'~=-.     TAKE YOU ON A MISSION TO MARS
 _,-'       '-'      \=~-"~~',                                
/o                    \~-""~=-,                               
\__                    \=-,~"-~,                              
   """===-----.         \~=-"~-.                              
               \         \*=~-"                               
          rs    \         "=====----                          
                 \                                            
                  \                                           

#4760: LOST TOOLBAGS

Thu, 2012 Jul 5

nasa, topical

 ________________________                                              
|                        |                                             
|            o   o  o    |                                             
|          o= o. ..      |   OH SHIT THEY'RE ABOUT TO PUT A WOMAN IN   
|           . : . \\.    |   COMMAND OF THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION
|          o  . o . . oo |                                             
|          o-.\//. :o.   |                                             
|    ,,,    o'\o. o . =o |                                             
|   "o0".  o .=o\_//o o  |                                             
|   ' -,"       \ /    o |                                             
|   ,` -.       | |      |                                             
|/\/|    \\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\|                                             
|  /    , `-, {\/}  \    |                                             
|  '-,   \,-' /0o\-_/;   |                                             
|    /   \  \ \''/::::   |   THIS IS GOING TO MEAN A LOT MORE          
|   '"|^\"`  '-==::::;   |   LOST TOOLBAGS IN LOW EARTH ORBIT          
|     d d       ||  || Na|                                             
 """"""""""""""""""""""""                                              

#4806: CURIOSITY

Mon, 2012 Aug 20

nasa, topical

                .                                            .              
     *   .                  .              .        .   *          .        
  .         .                     .       .           .      .        .     
        o                             .                   .                 
         .              .                  .           .                    
          0     .                                                           
                 .          .                 ,                ,    ,       
 .          \          .                         .                          
      .      \   ,                                                          
   .          o     .                 .                   .            .    
     .         \                 ,             .                .           
               #\##\#      .                              .        .        
             #  #O##\###                .                        .          
   .        #*#  #\##\###                       .                     ,     
        .   ##*#  #\##\##               .                     .             
      .      ##*#  #o##\#         .                             ,       .   
          .     *#  #\#     .                    .             .          , 
                      \          .                         .                
____^/\___^--____/\____O______________/\/\---/\___________---______________ 
   /\^   ^  ^    ^                  ^^ ^  '\ ^          ^       ---         
         --           -            --  -      -         ---  __       ^     
   --  __                      ___--  ^  ^                         --  __ RC
                                                                            
    FOLKS WE JUST LANDED A PROBE ON MARS !!!!!! ISN'T THAT EXCITING ?!?!?!  
                                                                            
    I GUESS IT WOULD BE IF WE HADN'T DONE IT AT LEAST FIVE TIMES BEFORE     
                                                                            
    BUT IT'S A ***DIFFERENT*** PROBE AND WE DID IT ***DIFFERENTLY*** !!!11  
                                                                            
                                                                            
    DIARRHEA                                                                

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