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#1652: THE ONION

Thu, 2004 Jan 1

onion

                    ~                                                
                   /~    THE ONION IS KIND OF FUNNY IF YOU SQUINT    
             \  \ /**    AND ONLY READ THE FIRST SENTENCE OF THE     
              \ ////     ONE-LINER JOKE WHICH LASTS TWENTY PARAGRAPHS
              // //      AND IF YOU ACTUALLY DON'T REALLY PAY        
             // //       ATTENTION TO WHAT THEY WROTE AND INSTEAD    
           ///&//        MAKE UP YOUR OWN PUNCHLINE OR BETTER YET    
          / & /\ \       JUST KIND OF DON'T EVEN READ THE HEADLINES  
        /  & .,,  \      AND IMAGINE SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN  
      /& %  :       \    FUNNY AND CHUCKLE AT THAT INSTEAD           
    /&  %   :  ;     `\                                              
   /&' &..%   !..    `.\                                             
  /&' : &''" !  ``. : `.\                                            
 /#' % :  "" * .   : : `.\                                           
I# :& :  !"  *  `.  : ::  I                                          
I &% : : !%.` '. . : : :  I                                          
I && :%: .&.   . . : :  : I                                          
I %&&&%%: WW. .%. : :     I                                          
 \&&&##%%%`W! & '  :   ,'/                                           
  \####ITO%% W &..'  #,'/                                            
    \W&&##%%&&&&### %./                                              
      \###j[\##//##}/                                                
         ++///~~\//_                                                 
          \\ \ \ \  \_                                               
          /  /    \                                                  

#2058: PAC-MAN AND JESUS CHRIST

Thu, 2005 Feb 10

onion, pac-man

 ================================================.    
      .-.   .-.     .--.                         |    
     | OO| | OO|   / _.-' .-.   .-.  .-.   .''.  |    
     |   | |   |   \  '-. '-'   '-'  '-'   '..'  |    
     '^^^' '^^^'    '--'                         |    
 ===============.  .-.  .================.  .-.  |    
                | |   | |                |  '-'  |    
                | |   | |                |       |    
                | ':-:' |                |  .-.  |    
 l42            |  '-'  |                |  '-'  |    
 ==============='       '================'       |    
                                                      
IT'S LIKE JESUS IS RUNNING FROM GHOSTS IN A MAZE      
                                                      
LET'S MAKE PARALLELS BETWEEN JESUS CHRIST AND PAC-MAN 
FOR INSTANCE COMPARING ENERGIZERS YOU EAT TO SCARE THE
MONSTERS TO THE WAFERS THAT ARE THE BODY OF CHRIST AND
THE GHOSTS TO UNBELIEVERS AND THE LITTLE DOTS AS I    
DON'T KNOW MAYBE THEY'RE THE APOSTLES BUT LET'S GO    
ON AND ON ABOUT IT FOR TWENTY PARAGRAPHS TREATING IT  
SERIOUSLY EVEN THOUGH IT'S PATHETICALLY RIDICULOUS    
UNTIL WE'RE ALL TOTALLY SICK OF IT AND WANT TO DIE    
                                                      
KIND OF LIKE THE ONION                                

FART BACK NEW
WHAT'S IT LIKE DOWN IN THAT WELL?
CHAT NEW#AAF @ EFNET on IRC
BY KEYWORD 2010, 24, 911, aaliyah, al gore, alien, all you have, anger*, anime, anna nicole smith, annie ascii, answer bear*, apollo, apple, aria giovanni, asia carrera, asperger, atari, babylon 5, battlefield, battlestar galactica, beatles, best of, best part, bionic woman, blank, blog, bobby brown, bravo, britney spears, bush, calvin, canada, cassini, chalkboard, chaps*, cheers, clam*, confessions*, conspiracy duck*, cosby, creampie, critic, crysis, dean, defcon, derek smart, desirae, dilbert, disney, doctor who, don't hate me, doom, dot, dune, eaten*, election 2004, election 2008, ellen degeneres, er, escher, everybody loves raymond, family guy, fear, figlet, flea*, fred friendly, freespace, french, friends, garfield, geography, german, gnutella, god help me, google, grand theft auto, gun free zones, haiku, half-life, halo, harry potter, henry, hershey*, hillary clinton, hulk, hurricane, ideograms, immigration, inconsolable, iphone, iraq, islam, jasmin st. claire, jerkcity, jesus, jody watley, john travolta, jon stewart, katamari, kirara, korean, law and order, left eye, linux, logo, lord of the rings, lottery, lyrics, macintosh, marilyn manson, mash, matrix, meme, memento, meta, michael jackson, michael moore, midori, milf, mormon, nabis, napster, nasa, nazi, nerd boy, nethack, newsgroup, niven, ocean's thirteen, onion, open source, original, orkut, p2p, pac-man, panther, particle, patriot act, peanuts, perl, perspective, please shut up*, pluto, poem, pokemon, poker, polyamory, pooh, porn, pornstar, portal, powerpuff, python, quake, quebec, queer eye, r. kelly, rape rays*, red dwarf, rent, richard stallman, roger ebert, ron paul, russian, sanrio, sarah silverman, saturday night live, scrubs, second life, sesame, sesame street, shitting, shuttle, simple, simpsons, skull, slashdot, south park, special, spice girls, spongebob, spore, star trek, star wars, starcraft, starship troopers, strike, tattoo, tax, tetris, thanksgiving, third rock, tlc, togos, tomb raider, tools*, topical, transsexual, transvestite, treo, true story, tsunami, twitter, understatement, usenet, vanessa del rio, vegan, west wing, wiccan*, wii, wiki, wikipedia, wishful thinking, witchblade, wolfenstein, word, wwjd, xbox, zombie*
TOYS
FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 3450
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (9.4 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips in the queue: 3 (0.4 weeks' worth)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, xkcd
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery