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"IT'S JUST A LAW OF NATURE, LIKE GRAVITY"
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#5372: COSMOS REBOOT (Sun, 2014 Mar 9)
...
#1675: PEOPLE DO (Sat, 2004 Jan 24)
#1674: STAR WARS MYSTIQUE (Fri, 2004 Jan 23)
#1673: THE END OF INNOCENCE (Thu, 2004 Jan 22)
#1672: POLYAMORY (Wed, 2004 Jan 21)
#1671: HOMELAND SECURITY ADVISORY SYSTEM (Tue, 2004 Jan 20)
#1670: AMOEBA CLEANSING SYNDROME (Mon, 2004 Jan 19)
#1669: APOLLO 1 (Sun, 2004 Jan 18)
#1668: SEEKING YOUR HONEST OPINION (Sat, 2004 Jan 17)
#1667: DIABLO (Fri, 2004 Jan 16)
#1666: ARABIC AND GERMAN (Thu, 2004 Jan 15)
#1665: FRIAR TUCK (Wed, 2004 Jan 14)
#1664: BUSY BODY (Tue, 2004 Jan 13)
#1663: AN INTIMATE CHAT SESSION (Mon, 2004 Jan 12)
#1662: MATHWORLD (Sun, 2004 Jan 11)
#1661: OSCAR WILDE (Sat, 2004 Jan 10)
#1660: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD (Fri, 2004 Jan 9)
#1659: TRUE CONFESSIONS OF A TODDLER (Thu, 2004 Jan 8)
#1658: BELIEVE HIM (Wed, 2004 Jan 7)
#1657: SICKLE CELL ANEMIA (Tue, 2004 Jan 6)
#1656: NO OFFENSE MRS. MANSFIELD (Mon, 2004 Jan 5)
#1655: HAIL MARY (Sun, 2004 Jan 4)
#1654: ZUT ALORS (Sat, 2004 Jan 3)
#1653: HERRING STALL (Fri, 2004 Jan 2)
#1652: THE ONION (Thu, 2004 Jan 1)
#1651: NEPTUNE, GOD OF THE SEA (Wed, 2003 Dec 31)
#1650: A LETTER TO THE EDITOR (Tue, 2003 Dec 30)
#1649: R. KELLY (Mon, 2003 Dec 29)
#1648: QUICK IDENTIFY THIS (Sun, 2003 Dec 28)
#1647: URINE SNOB (Sat, 2003 Dec 27)
#1646: JOHN CARMACK'S .PLAN (Fri, 2003 Dec 26)
#1645: A NUKYULER SCIENTITIAN'S PERSPECTIVE (Thu, 2003 Dec 25)
#1644: APPLE JUICE (Wed, 2003 Dec 24)
#1643: SO IT TURNS OUT (Tue, 2003 Dec 23)
#1642: TWENTY THINGS TO DO WITH A CAT (Mon, 2003 Dec 22)
#1641: FOLLOW THE BOUNCING AIDS (Sun, 2003 Dec 21)
#1640: COWBOYNEAL (Sat, 2003 Dec 20)
#1639: WILLIE NELSON V. KERMIT THE FROG (Fri, 2003 Dec 19)
#1638: COME CLEAN (Thu, 2003 Dec 18)
#1637: WACKO JACKO (Wed, 2003 Dec 17)
#1636: BREAST REDUCTION (Tue, 2003 Dec 16)
#1635: ON RECORD (Mon, 2003 Dec 15)
#1634: JACK HAMMER (Sun, 2003 Dec 14)
#1633: M8 (Sat, 2003 Dec 13)
#1632: THE PERFECT CRIME (Fri, 2003 Dec 12)
#1631: CLOCKSTOPPERS (Thu, 2003 Dec 11)
#1630: ANYONE'S NIGHTMARE (Wed, 2003 Dec 10)
...
#1: SURF'S UP (Fri, 1999 Jun 25)
<<< #1651: NEPTUNE, GOD OF THE SEA | #1653: HERRING STALL >>>

#1652: THE ONION

Thu, 2004 Jan 1

onion

                    ~                                                
                   /~    THE ONION IS KIND OF FUNNY IF YOU SQUINT    
             \  \ /**    AND ONLY READ THE FIRST SENTENCE OF THE     
              \ ////     ONE-LINER JOKE WHICH LASTS TWENTY PARAGRAPHS
              // //      AND IF YOU ACTUALLY DON'T REALLY PAY        
             // //       ATTENTION TO WHAT THEY WROTE AND INSTEAD    
           ///&//        MAKE UP YOUR OWN PUNCHLINE OR BETTER YET    
          / & /\ \       JUST KIND OF DON'T EVEN READ THE HEADLINES  
        /  & .,,  \      AND IMAGINE SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN  
      /& %  :       \    FUNNY AND CHUCKLE AT THAT INSTEAD           
    /&  %   :  ;     `\                                              
   /&' &..%   !..    `.\                                             
  /&' : &''" !  ``. : `.\                                            
 /#' % :  "" * .   : : `.\                                           
I# :& :  !"  *  `.  : ::  I                                          
I &% : : !%.` '. . : : :  I                                          
I && :%: .&.   . . : :  : I                                          
I %&&&%%: WW. .%. : :     I                                          
 \&&&##%%%`W! & '  :   ,'/                                           
  \####ITO%% W &..'  #,'/                                            
    \W&&##%%&&&&### %./                                              
      \###j[\##//##}/                                                
         ++///~~\//_                                                 
          \\ \ \ \  \_                                               
          /  /    \                                                  

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