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#5372: COSMOS REBOOT (Sun, 2014 Mar 9)
...
#1665: FRIAR TUCK (Wed, 2004 Jan 14)
#1664: BUSY BODY (Tue, 2004 Jan 13)
#1663: AN INTIMATE CHAT SESSION (Mon, 2004 Jan 12)
#1662: MATHWORLD (Sun, 2004 Jan 11)
#1661: OSCAR WILDE (Sat, 2004 Jan 10)
#1660: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD (Fri, 2004 Jan 9)
#1659: TRUE CONFESSIONS OF A TODDLER (Thu, 2004 Jan 8)
#1658: BELIEVE HIM (Wed, 2004 Jan 7)
#1657: SICKLE CELL ANEMIA (Tue, 2004 Jan 6)
#1656: NO OFFENSE MRS. MANSFIELD (Mon, 2004 Jan 5)
#1655: HAIL MARY (Sun, 2004 Jan 4)
#1654: ZUT ALORS (Sat, 2004 Jan 3)
#1653: HERRING STALL (Fri, 2004 Jan 2)
#1652: THE ONION (Thu, 2004 Jan 1)
#1651: NEPTUNE, GOD OF THE SEA (Wed, 2003 Dec 31)
#1650: A LETTER TO THE EDITOR (Tue, 2003 Dec 30)
#1649: R. KELLY (Mon, 2003 Dec 29)
#1648: QUICK IDENTIFY THIS (Sun, 2003 Dec 28)
#1647: URINE SNOB (Sat, 2003 Dec 27)
#1646: JOHN CARMACK'S .PLAN (Fri, 2003 Dec 26)
#1645: A NUKYULER SCIENTITIAN'S PERSPECTIVE (Thu, 2003 Dec 25)
#1644: APPLE JUICE (Wed, 2003 Dec 24)
#1643: SO IT TURNS OUT (Tue, 2003 Dec 23)
#1642: TWENTY THINGS TO DO WITH A CAT (Mon, 2003 Dec 22)
#1641: FOLLOW THE BOUNCING AIDS (Sun, 2003 Dec 21)
#1640: COWBOYNEAL (Sat, 2003 Dec 20)
#1639: WILLIE NELSON V. KERMIT THE FROG (Fri, 2003 Dec 19)
#1638: COME CLEAN (Thu, 2003 Dec 18)
#1637: WACKO JACKO (Wed, 2003 Dec 17)
#1636: BREAST REDUCTION (Tue, 2003 Dec 16)
#1635: ON RECORD (Mon, 2003 Dec 15)
#1634: JACK HAMMER (Sun, 2003 Dec 14)
#1633: M8 (Sat, 2003 Dec 13)
#1632: THE PERFECT CRIME (Fri, 2003 Dec 12)
#1631: CLOCKSTOPPERS (Thu, 2003 Dec 11)
#1630: ANYONE'S NIGHTMARE (Wed, 2003 Dec 10)
#1629: A POO POKING (Tue, 2003 Dec 9)
#1628: ALL ABOUT RAPE (Mon, 2003 Dec 8)
#1627: RIDDLE ME THIS (Sun, 2003 Dec 7)
#1626: CONVERTED CRAP (Sat, 2003 Dec 6)
#1625: THE SPACETIME CONTINUUM WONDERS (Fri, 2003 Dec 5)
#1624: A TNT ORIGINAL (Thu, 2003 Dec 4)
#1623: PUBLIC MASTURBATOR (Wed, 2003 Dec 3)
#1622: HENRY IV (Tue, 2003 Dec 2)
#1621: THREE PLATITUDES BY ANOMALOCARIS (Mon, 2003 Dec 1)
#1620: LONELY (Sun, 2003 Nov 30)
...
#1: SURF'S UP (Fri, 1999 Jun 25)
<<< #1641: FOLLOW THE BOUNCING AIDS | #1643: SO IT TURNS OUT >>>

#1642: TWENTY THINGS TO DO WITH A CAT

Mon, 2003 Dec 22

    _                ___       _.--.                                 
    \`.|\..----...-'`   `-._.-'_.-'`                                 
    /  ' `         ,       __.--'                                    
    )/' _/     \   `-_,   /                                          
    `-'" `"\_  ,_.-;_.-\_ ',     fsc/as                              
        _.-'_./   {_.'   ; /                                         
       {_.-``-'         {_/                                          
                                                                     
 1. THEY ARE GOOD FOR HOLDING FRUIT                                  
 2. TEACH IT TO FETCH A BALL AND THEN KICK IT                        
 3. DON'T FEED IT FOR A MONTH AND WATCH IT DIE                       
 4. CALL FOR THEM TO COME TO YOU AND THEN PISS ON THEM               
 5. PUNCH THEM IN THE WHISKERS AND EAT THEM                          
                                                                     
                   _..                                               
  /}_{\           /.-'                                               
 ( a a )-.___...-'/                                                  
 ==._.==         ;                                                   
      \ i _..._ /,                                                   
      {_;/   {_//  fsc                                               
                                                                     
 6. STICK ITS HEAD IN THE TOILET AND FLUSH                           
 7. SEE IF THEY REALLY LAND ON THEIR FEET                            
 8. TAKE THEIR RECTAL TEMPERATURE WITH YOUR TONGUE                   
 9. SQUEEZE THEM UNTIL THEY THROW UP                                 
10. CRUSH THEIR LITTLE HEADS WITH A REALLY HEAVY DICTIONARY          
                                                                     
       .^----^.                                                      
      (= o  O =)                                                     
       (___V__)                                                      
cf      _|==|_                                                       
   ___/' |--| |                                                      
  / ,._| |  | '                                                      
 | \__ |__}-|__}                                                     
  \___)`                                                             
                                                                     
11. PUT THEM IN YOUR PANTS AND DON'T LET THEM OUT                    
12. TELL THEM A LONG JOKE AND DON'T TELL THEM THE PUNCHLINE          
13. BUY IT DRINKS AND DINNER AND THEN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT           
14. FEED IT DRAINO AND WATCH IT ROLL AROUND ON THE FLOOR             
15. CUT ITS SPHINCTER SO IT CRAPS ALL THE TIME                       
                                                                     
   /\_/\                                                             
   >^.^<.---.                                                        
  _'-`-'     )\                                                      
 (6--\ |--\ (`.`-.                                                   
     --'  --'  ``-'BP   cat                                          
                                                                     
16. TEST ITS AERODYNAMIC CAPABILITIES                                
17. GET IT STONED AND TRY TO MAKE IT SUCK YOU                        
18. PUT IT IN THE WASHING MACHINE THEN IN THE DRYER                  
19. FEED IT BEANS AND THEN LIGHT ITS FARTS ON FIRE                   
20. PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE FOR A WHILE BECAUSE IT'S BEEN IN THE RAIN
                                                                     
    .----------------.                                               
   /__________________\                                              
   ||\ ________ /|  _ |                                              
   || |:      :| |o(_)|                                              
   || |;-""""-;| |o(_)|                                              
   || |________| | __ |                                              
   ||/__________\|[__]| hjw                                          
   "------------------"                                              

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