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#205: PISS NET

Sat, 2000 Jan 15

figlet

     ======      ____ ___ ____ ____  
   =        =   |  _ \_ _/ ___/ ___| 
  ==-      -==  | |_) | |\___ \___ \ 
  ==--    --==  |  __/| | ___) |__) |
  ==---  ---==  |_|  |___|____/____/ 
   =--------=         |\ | |_  |     
mga  ======           | \| |_  |     

#571: C.J.

Mon, 2001 Jan 15

newsgroup

      _             _-._   HI MY NAME C.J.                 
    /`'~-.      _,-'    \                                  
   / .    \_   /   _.--. \       ME LIMEY AND EAT EGG ROLL 
  /  :      `'Y   '       `~-n.                            
 /   |._ _,    `.  c.j.    __| \   ME RIKEY SUCKY FUCKY    
 ( _.>_O)_/      \   __.-'~     |  ME OPEN UP FOR YOU      
 .'  /)~~         \  '  ____/~-./                          
(   /. \           )   /       /  GIVE ME IT ALL I AM FAGGY
 `-'  `.L_         /  "_       |  LIMEY C.J.               
          `'\     /_  / |      |                           
     8--- \._) _ /  `'  |      |  PLEASE SIR MORE SIR      
           `~''~'      _|      |                           
     ^                (_       |  GHGAHLAGLHAGLHGALHAGHLAG 
    DICK                `-._   /  FUCKING FAGGOT           
                            `-'                            

#936: ONLY THE COOLEST

Tue, 2002 Jan 15

              __________               
              |        |               
              |________|               
               |      |                
            .-'        '-.             
         .-'    .---.     '-.          
      .-'     .'.--. '.      '-.       
     /        ' /~`') '         \      
    |         '.`, ( .'          |     
    |           '---'            |     
    |     .           .      .   |     
    | ,-. |-. ,-. ,-. |  . . |-  |     
    | ,-| | | `-. | | |  | | |   |     
    | `-^ ^-' `-' `-' `' `-^ `'  |     
    |                            |     
    ,.   , ,,--. .,--. ,, ,    ,.|     
    ||  /  |   |  |   \ |/    / ||     
    || /   |   |  |   / |\   /~~||     
    |`'    `---' `^--' ,' `,'   `'     
    |                            |     
    |  . _ _  _  _  __|_ _  _|   |     
    |  || | ||_)(_)|  | (/_(_|   |     
    |        |                   |     
    |                            | ML  
     \__________________________/      
                                       
ONLY THE COOLEST CATS DRINK THEIR VODKA
         OUT OF A FUCKING JUG          
                                       

#1301: MY FAVORITE SNACK

Wed, 2003 Jan 15

nerd boy, newsgroup

            _/_^..^                       
          ,, ) ))'                        
         .,                               
    OO  ,,.                               
   .||.                                   
    db   jg                               
                                          
DELICIOUS URINE, MY FAVORITE SNACK!!!     
MMM SLURP MY WORTHLESS SWEDISH ASS GROWING

#1666: ARABIC AND GERMAN

Thu, 2004 Jan 15

 HOW CONVENIENT IT IS THAT ARABIC IS JUST LIKE GERMAN:            
     YOU KNOW RIGHT AWAY THAT ANYBODY SPEAKING IT IS A BAD GUY    
                                                                  
                                  qg,                             
                                  @Wb                             
                                  JWE                             
                                   WE                             
                                   WE                       ,     
                                   W^                    qgWE     
                  ggWWp,           ,d  q,             igWWW"      
                qWWWWWW2      qg, dWE qWE,         .ggWWW" d      
                @WWWWWE       dW% 3WE  WF"       ggWWW"^ gWE      
                 NWWWBp       4W, dWE  WE     ggWWW"^   JWWWp     
               ggWW"``^       dWBgWWWggWE    qWW"^       WWWE     
           qgpWF"`            `WWW' `WW"'    ``          dWWB.    
         =W""^                                           JWWWBp   
                                                          @WWWWp. 
                                   gp             qp      dWWEWWBp
                    ,,           qdWE            qWE,     JWWE  WE
                 qgWWBp          dWWE           qWWWp      WWE  4E
                gWWWWWE          dWWE           dWWWWp     @WB, #E
  d           ,dWWWWWWW-      db JWWE- qp       dWWWWWE,   dWWE ' 
 dW          qWWW"  WWE       WE  WWW,  Bp       WWWEWWE   dWWE   
dWE         qWWE'   WWE     qW"   WWW2   Wp      JWWE MWp  dWWE   
dW2        qWWE    ,WW^     Wgp   @WWE  qgWb      WWB, WE   WWE   
WE-       qWWW'   .WWE  qWBp`""   4WWE   ""qWWp   JWWp JE   WWE   
WWp      gWWWE    dWE^  7`@Bgggp  dWWb qgWWWE2`'  JWWE  `   WWE   
@WWgggggWWWWE    ,WWE    qWE" dE  dWWE  WE "Wp     @WW,     WWE-  
`WWWWWWWWWWE'    qWW2   qWE       dWWE       Wp    dWWb     WWE-  
 `WWWWWWWW"      dWE-   JE        dWWE       JW     WWE     WWE-  
   `"W"""    ,   dWE               WWE              @WE     WWE   
          qWWWp  4WWp             qWWE,             4WE    dWWE   
     ,,,QggWWWW- 4WWWp,           dWWWB,            dWW    dWWE   
                                                                  
       HEY PEOPLE THE TRUTH IN UPPERCASE IS STILL THE TRUTH       

#2032: LITTLE CHRISTIAN FISH

Sat, 2005 Jan 15

   HI I'M THE LITTLE CHRISTIAN FISH         
   I'M AN ICON AND A WARNING SIGN           
   (NO JEWS, NO A-RABS, NO BLACKS, NO IRISH)
  /                                         
<><                                         

#2397: AND THE LORD SAID

Sun, 2006 Jan 15

   /|\     /|\                                                    
  / |  \ /  | \                                                   
 /__|__/ \__|__\            AND THE LORD SAID "MAKE ME CHOKE ON   
|\  |  | |  |  /|           IT BECAUSE IT IS BIG AND WILL BLOCK   
| \ |----|--| / |           MY ESOPHAGUS" AND I SAID UNTO THE LORD
| /\-\---|---/\ |           (I SAYS) "CHECK IT OUT I'M HARD" AND  
|/_____|\|_____\|           AT THAT POINT HE BROKE DOWN WITH "OKAY
 \  |  \ /  |  /            BUT MAKE IT QUICK" AND IT WAS RAD     
  \ |  / \  | /                                                   
   \|/     \|/                                                    

#2762: QUITE HONESTLY

Mon, 2007 Jan 15

        __                                                 
      .'  '\._                                             
      \  @ /;      __                                      
    ;::'--':;. _ .'  '.                                    
      :;:: _.'._ \  @ /                                    
      ;;.-:/ | \:.'--;                                     
      :___......._ '.                                      
     {{__..--""-,_'-.:                                     
    {{[_ _  _  _ _'--.}                                    
    {[| | || || | |-.]}                                    
    {[\-'-':-::-:-'/ ]}                                    
    {[  \ \ _\_/ /  ~]}    I'M FRANGIBLE AND QUITE HONESTLY
    {{[\ .-'    '-./]}}                                    
     {[.:-"'\ /'"-'.]}       POSSIBLY EVEN FUNGIBLE        
    {['  __/ \__  :]}                                      
    {[::' _) (_ ' :]}                                      
   {{[:  : ] [  : :]}                                      
   {[:  : (   )  :]}}                                      
  {{[: :   '-'   :]}                                       
   [ : :_.:';.   :]}                                       
  {{[_.' _ _ _ '-._]}                                      
   {|\\|~|_|_|_|~| ] }                                     
jim{{  '""''~~~""--  _'                                    
     ''""""""""""""''                                      
        .   |   .                                          
        -:--|--:-                                          
        '   |   '                                          
           _|_                                             
          |   |                                            
          \   /                                            
          /   \                                            

#3127: PROPOSITION 23

Tue, 2008 Jan 15

          ___                                                             
          \\||                                                            
         ,'_,-\    WHY DON'T WE JUST CRUCIFY EVERYBODY WE DON'T LIKE      
         ;'____\                                                          
         || =\=|   IT WORKED FOR THE ROMANS THEREFORE IT WILL WORK FOR US 
         ||  - |                                                          
     ,---'._--''-,,---------.--.----_,                                    
    / `-._- _--/,,|  ___,,--'--'._<                                       
   /-._,  `-.__;,,|'                                                      
  /   ;\      / , ;                                                       
 /  ,' | _ - ',/, ;                                                       
(  (   |     /, ,,;                                                       
 \  \  |     ',,/,;                                                       
  \  \ |    /, / ,;                                                       
 (| ,^.|   / ,, ,/;                                                       
  `-'./ `-._,, ,/,;                                                       
       >-._ `-._,,;                                                       
  jrei |/,,`-._ `-.                                                       
       |, ,;, ,`-._\    (OTHERWISE KNOWN AS PROPOSITION 23, ROCK THE VOTE)

#3493: PRODUCTIVITY

Thu, 2009 Jan 15

blog

        _____                                                   
       /      \                                                 
      (____/\  )                                                
       |___  U?(____                                            
       _\L.   |      \     ___                                  
     / /"""\ /.-'     |   |\  |                                 
    ( /  _/u     |    \___|_)_|                                 
     \|  \\      /   / \_(___ __)    HEY FOLKS CHECK OUT MY     
      |   \\    /   /  |  |    |     BLOG POST WHICH IS ABOUT MY
      |    )  _/   /   )  |    |     BLOG POSTING PRODUCTIVITY  
      _\__/.-'    /___(   |    |                                
   _/  __________/     \  |    |                                
  //  /  (              ) |    |                                
 ( \__|___\    \______ /__|____|                                
  \    (___\   |______)_/                                       
   \   |\   \  \     /                                          
    \  | \__ )  )___/                                           
MR   \  \  )/  /__(                                             
 ___ |  /_//___|   \_________        PLEASE KILL ME             
   _/  ( / OUuuu    \                                           
  `----'(____________)                                          

#3858: LATINA ABUSE

Fri, 2010 Jan 15

pornstar

     _                                                                    
   , L\    POOR CASSANDRA CRUZ ON LATINA ABUSE                            
   \/OO\                                                                  
     |/ \    WHEN YOU ACTUALLY START CRYING AND THE SLIDER BAR OF THE PORN
    /_\  `    VIDEO IS ONLY AT 50% .....................                  
AP _\  |_                                                                 
                .......... SOMEONE'S GOT A CASE OF THE MONDAYS            

#4223: ALL ALIKE

Sat, 2011 Jan 15

infocom

88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
88.._|      | `-.  | `.  -_-_ _-_  _-  _- -_ -  .'|   |.'|     |  _..88
88   `-.._  |    |`!  |`.  -_ -__ -_ _- _-_-  .'  |.;'   |   _.!-'|  88
88      | `-!._  |  `;!  ;. _______________ ,'| .-' |   _!.i'     |  88
88..__  |     |`-!._ | `.| |_______________||."'|  _!.;'   |     _|..88
88   |``"..__ |    |`";.| i|_|MMMMMMMMMMM|_|'| _!-|   |   _|..-|'    88
88   |      |``--..|_ | `;!|l|MMoMMMMoMMM|1|.'j   |_..!-'|     |     88
88   |      |    |   |`-,!_|_|MMMMP'YMMMM|_||.!-;'  |    |     |     88
88___|______|____!.,.!,.!,!|d|MMMo * loMM|p|,!,.!.,.!..__|_____|_____88
88      |     |    |  |  | |_|MMMMb,dMMMM|_|| |   |   |    |      |  88
88      |     |    |..!-;'i|r|MPYMoMMMMoM|r| |`-..|   |    |      |  88
88      |    _!.-j'  | _!,"|_|M<>MMMMoMMM|_||!._|  `i-!.._ |      |  88
88     _!.-'|    | _."|  !;|1|MbdMMoMMMMM|l|`.| `-._|    |``-.._  |  88
88..-i'     |  _.''|  !-| !|_|MMMoMMMMoMM|_|.|`-. | ``._ |     |``"..88
88   |      |.|    |.|  !| |u|MoMMMMoMMMM|n||`. |`!   | `".    |     88
88   |  _.-'  |  .'  |.' |/|_|MMMMoMMMMoM|_|! |`!  `,.|    |-._|     88
88  _!"'|     !.'|  .'| .'|[@]MMMMMMMMMMM[@] \|  `. | `._  |   `-._  88
88-'    |   .'   |.|  |/| /                 \|`.  |`!    |.|      |`-88
88      |_.'|   .' | .' |/                   \  \ |  `.  | `._    |  88
88     .'   | .'   |/|  /                     \ |`!   |`.|    `.  |  88
88  _.'     !'|   .' | /                       \|  `  |  `.    |`.|  88
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888(FL)888
                                                                       
  YOU ARE IN A MAZE OF TWISTY LITTLE PASSAGES, ALL TEDIOUS AND BORING  
                                                                       
  IF YOU PROCEED YOU ARE LIKELY TO BE RAPED TO DEATH BY A GRUE         

#4588: ANGEL ON YOUR SHOULDER

Sun, 2012 Jan 15

AN ANGEL *POOFS* ONTO YOUR RIGHT SHOULDER !!!!!!                  
YOU TURN YOUR HEAD TO HEAR IT SAY                                 
                                                                  
          SUCK A DICK                                             
                                                                  
             /                                                    
            /                                                     
     /)o(\                                                        
     ||^||                                                        
     '/_\'                                                        
   PP                                                             
                                                                  
IF YOU HESITATE AND DO NOT FOLLOW ITS INSTRUCTIONS                
RIGHT AWAY A SECOND ANGEL *POOFS* ONTO YOUR LEFT SHOULDER !!!!!!!!
                                                                  
YOU CRANE YOUR HEAD TO THE LEFT TO HEAR IT SAY                    
                                                                  
                                                                  
            WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FUCKING EARS                   
              HE SAID SUCK A DICK                                 
                                                                  
                            \                                     
                             \                                    
                                                                  
                               /)o(\                              
                              /_|^|_\                             
                                /_\                               
                                    PP                            

#4954: GIRLS AND SHOES

Tue, 2013 Jan 15

               ,-=-.                                            
              /     )                                           
             (  c/=(                                            
              `-( _/    ACCORDING TO THESE ASCII ARTISTS        
              _/ (_     WOMEN DELIBERATELY TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES 
            /  `-- )    AND PRETEND THEY CAN'T SEE THEM SO      
          <  ,   ) )>   MEN WILL JUST BUY THEM MORE LIKE SUCKERS
        /  \/ \   (/\                                           
      / ,'    )    \  \                                         
  -=` /      /     |    \                                       
   \-`      /      |   '\|                                      
           <_./    \                                            
          /        |    WOW ASCII ARTISTS ARE HORRIBLY SEXIST   
         /   ,     \                                            
        <,_./      |                                            
       /           |                                            
      /_           |                                            
     |  ``--.__.-='!                                            
     | /         \ !                                            
'`'"' ("" '`'`"' `) \_'"'`"" "``''"''`" "'"`'''                 
    (_ \_        '"`=-'`"               `" "                    
  '"" `-'`"            '"'`'                                    
         '`'"'                     '""`'"                       
                            __                                  
                       __ / . )  _                              
   gpyy/            .'   | /|/  / \                             
     /ejm            ` __|/ o  (  .\                            
                ``'"'""'        \ | \___                        
                            '`'"`)|  \__`-.                     
                                '""'`                           

#5319: A SINCERE QUERY

Wed, 2014 Jan 15

    |                                   
30 -|     |~~|                          
    |     |  |                          
20 -| |~~||  ||~~|                      
    | |  ||  ||  |    |~~|              
 0 -| |  ||  ||  ||~~||  |              
    |_|__||__||__||__||__|___           
      Jan Feb Mar Apr May               
                                        
   I HAVE A TIME MACHINE AND            
   THIS IS A PLOT OF ASCII ART FARTS    
   READERS IN THE OPENING MONTHS OF 2014

FART BACK
IS THIS ALL THERE IS?
CHAT#AAF @ EFnet on IRC
FOLLOW NEW!Conspiracy Duck @ Twitter
TOYS
FACTOIDS
  • number of strips: 5372
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (14.7 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips: 0 (0.0 weeks' worth; empty on Tue, 2020 Jul 14)
MORE STUFF Jerk Your Own Adventure, oo, Jerkcity, Viscera!, Her!, Those Drinky-Drink Kids, Exploding Dog, Penny Arcade, VG Cats, Dinosaur Comics, Cyanide and Happiness, Nedroid Comics, Wondermark
MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, alt.ascii-art FAQ, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery, The ASCII Art Universe