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"I CAN GO FROM ZERO TO COMPLETE PRICK IN SIXTY SECONDS"
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#3433: GRANDMA (Sun, 2008 Nov 16)
...
#1060: WITCHBLADE (Sun, 2002 May 19)
#1059: CALL/CC (Sat, 2002 May 18)
#1058: ALMOST WORSE THAN RAPE (Fri, 2002 May 17)
#1057: KATHLEEN TURNER (Thu, 2002 May 16)
#1056: BE A MAN (Wed, 2002 May 15)
#1055: NEVER (Tue, 2002 May 14)
#1054: HOWDY PARTNER (Mon, 2002 May 13)
#1053: HOT WATER (Sun, 2002 May 12)
#1052: WALL STREET JOURNAL (Sat, 2002 May 11)
#1051: FINALLY (Fri, 2002 May 10)
#1050: WHAT BUTTON (Thu, 2002 May 9)
#1049: BEAUTIFUL SCENE (Wed, 2002 May 8)
#1048: BI-CURIOUS SNAKE (Tue, 2002 May 7)
#1047: SBM SEEKS GWM (Mon, 2002 May 6)
#1046: HEY MIKE EISNER (Sun, 2002 May 5)
#1045: WHICH END (Sat, 2002 May 4)
#1044: A CARROT (Fri, 2002 May 3)
#1043: BEEPER (Thu, 2002 May 2)
#1042: COME (Wed, 2002 May 1)
#1041: DIETARY SUPPLEMENT (Tue, 2002 Apr 30)
#1040: MOTHER-IN-LAW (Mon, 2002 Apr 29)
#1039: RAPE RAYS REDUX (Sun, 2002 Apr 28)
#1038: BAGGING YOUR GROCERIES (Sat, 2002 Apr 27)
#1037: ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT (Fri, 2002 Apr 26)
#1036: PIX DISK (Thu, 2002 Apr 25)
#1035: MARILYN MANSON T-SHIRT (Wed, 2002 Apr 24)
#1034: ON ONE LEG (Tue, 2002 Apr 23)
#1033: A MASTURBATOR (Mon, 2002 Apr 22)
#1032: CAUTIONARY TALE (Sun, 2002 Apr 21)
#1031: GODDAMN DOG (Sat, 2002 Apr 20)
#1030: CIRCLE (Fri, 2002 Apr 19)
#1029: HERSHEY'S KISSES III (Thu, 2002 Apr 18)
#1028: AN IMPRESSIONABLE YOUNG SEAHORSE (Wed, 2002 Apr 17)
#1027: AFRAID OF THE FUTURE (Tue, 2002 Apr 16)
#1026: A TROOPER (Mon, 2002 Apr 15)
#1025: LET MYSELF GO (Sun, 2002 Apr 14)
#1024: HERSHEY'S KISSES II (Sat, 2002 Apr 13)
#1023: HYPNOTIZE (Fri, 2002 Apr 12)
#1022: HERSHEY'S KISSES I (Thu, 2002 Apr 11)
#1021: JIM HENSON (Wed, 2002 Apr 10)
#1020: POKEY (Tue, 2002 Apr 9)
#1019: CHAINSAW (Mon, 2002 Apr 8)
#1018: LINUX CHICK (Sun, 2002 Apr 7)
#1017: COMPLETE TOOL (Sat, 2002 Apr 6)
#1016: RED DAWN (Fri, 2002 Apr 5)
#1015: NOT LIKE ALL THE OTHER BOYS (Thu, 2002 Apr 4)
...
#1: SURF'S UP (Fri, 1999 Jun 25)
<<< #1036: PIX DISK | #1038: BAGGING YOUR GROCERIES >>>

#1037: ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT

Fri, 2002 Apr 26

best of

FOR THIS PERFORMANCE TO HAVE A DEEP, LASTING EFFECT YOU SHOULD  
PLAY A RECORDING OF CAT STEVENS' "ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT" DURING
YOUR VIEWING EXPERIENCE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION.      
                                                                
STEP 1. OBTAIN A PIG. THIS ONE WILL DO:                         
                                                                
    _____                                                       
^..^     \9                                                     
(oo)_____/                                                      
   WW  WW    Pig                                                
                                                                
STEP 2. FIND A STURDY TOILET                                    
                                                                
     _                                                          
    | |                                                         
 ___| |                                                         
(    .'                                                         
 )__(    Toilet                                                 
                                                                
STEP 3. SHOVE THE PIG INTO THE TOILET HEAD-FIRST. HE WILL       
NOT FIT. DO THE BEST YOU CAN. WE DO NOT HAVE A GRAPHIC FOR      
STEP THREE SO WE PRESENT A MOUSE INSTEAD:                       
                                                                
o..o                                                            
(\/)S  Mouse                                                    
                                                                
JUST IMAGINE THE PIG STUCK FACE-FIRST IN THE TOILET. THE        
MOUSE IS OF NO MATTER.                                          
                                                                
STEP 4. FUCK THE PIG IN THE ASS. HIS SHARP TEETH, FIELD OF      
VISION AND ABILITY TO FIGHT BACK WILL BE RESTRAINED *AS LONG    
AS YOU HAVE STUFFED THE PIG PROPERLY INTO THE TOILET*. FUCK     
THAT PIG. YEAH, FUCK IT. JESUS CHRIST THE PIG DOESN'T LIKE      
THIS DEAL AT ALL AND THAT'S WHAT YOU GET OFF ON BABY. FUCK      
THAT LITTLE PIG. MMMMMM YEAH FINISHING MMMM PIG IN TOILET MMM   
                                                                
STEP 5. EVENTUALLY THE PIG WILL DROWN, GET "FUCKED-OUT" AND     
COLLAPSE IN ON ITSELF OR OTHERWISE CEASE TO CONTINUE            
PERFORMING AS FUCKTOY. REPLACE WITH FRESH PIG. SEE STEP 1.      

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  • number of strips: 3433
  • first strip created on: Fri, 1999 Jun 25 (9.4 years ago)
  • number of upcoming strips in the queue: 14 (2.0 weeks' worth)
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MORE ASCII ART Andreas Freise's ASCII Art Dictionary, Open Directory: ASCII Art, Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection, Joan Stark's ASCII Art Gallery